Fragments of Memories
by j-mercuryuk
Summary: In a bid to become closer to his son, and get to know each other, Laguna suggests that they share moments from their past. Reluctantly Squall agrees.
1. The Stage is Set

**A/N:** Hello, much to my surprise(ish) I find myself writing another FFVIII fic. This was originally a one-shot that I had no intention in posting up, which tried to take another angle on the whole Squall-Laguna revelation and reaction. Like so many of my things it mutated, and now it's a series of one-shots.

**Prologue-The Stage is Set**

"I'm not angry."

Laguna turned to look at his son as he stepped up beside him. He knew what the boy, no, he corrected himself, young man was talking about. Only a few days ago, the Esthar president had worked up the courage and ran out of excuses to tell Squall about their blood tie. He'd also been more than a little inspired by Rinoa bridging the gap between herself and her own father. However, unlike Caraway, he didn't have the background to reveal himself before his son was married. To do so seemed…selfish. He couldn't be there as a father, not after such a short period and to try to would be an imposition on the couple. It would only make their special day rather awkward and so he waited. He waited till after the wedding, the honeymoon, when the couple had settled in and then, after Ellone had given a particular piece of news, he realised that he couldn't put it off any more.

The meeting hadn't gone as he'd expected. Squall hadn't been happy, but he hadn't seemed upset or angry either, though he was never quite sure with the younger man. He had simply stood there and walked off. When Laguna had asked him where he was going, he'd simply said that needed to think. So Laguna had waited, remaining in the Garden till Squall was ready to talk.

"You're not?" Laguna was surprised. He hadn't really expected this answer. It was better than he had dared hope.

"No," Squall confirmed, staring out to sea, leaning against the Quad wall, "I have every right to be. You went off after Ellone and left Raine alone while she was pregnant. Then you got involved in other peoples' problems instead of returning home."

Squall was merely laying out the facts, stating why he had every right to be angry, and then when he continued, he was merely stating why he _should_ be angry, but that knowledge didn't make Laguna feel any better.

"Because of that, I had to grow up an orphan. Sis was taken away from me and I grew up in Garden to become a mercenary and the person I am now. So," and Squall looked up at him, "I have every right to be angry."

Laguna nervously swallowed, "Then why aren't you?"

Squall was silent for a moment before looking away, "Because if you hadn't followed Ellone, then I wouldn't have Sis at all, and," he smiled, small and subtle, but Laguna wasn't enough of a fool to think that he was smiling for him, "if I didn't have this life, then I wouldn't have Rinoa."

Laguna followed Squall's gaze to see the woman in question walk into the Quad, arm linked through her father's. "And they're worth it." It wasn't a question; he knew the answer.

"Yes."

It was Laguna's turn to smile as the two men watched his son's wife and father-in-law slowly make their way down the stairs to the main Quad area. Laguna's attention turned back to the man beside him, watching him from the corner of his eye. Going on a limb, Laguna spoke again.

"That's not the only reason is it?"

Again, Squall was silent for a moment before speaking, "I understand responsibility. Once you have it, you can't just drop it when you want to. It doesn't matter whether you want it or not."

Laguna openly watched his son, "Just because you understand, doesn't mean you have to like it."

Squall remained silent and Laguna got the impression that there was more to Squall's reasoning then the other man would ever tell him. Squall's excuse of responsibility was small and feeble and while he could understand that Squall would rather have Ellone and Rinoa than him, he found it hard to believe that anyone would just forgive-

Ah, but there was the catch, Laguna realised; Squall had said that he wasn't angry, not that he had forgiven him. There was a difference and even though it was a subtle one, it was there and it could spiral to larger consequences. It reminded Laguna that he had no way to look into Squall's mind. He had no way to know how much resentment was hidden away in there, conscious or otherwise. He figured that he should be careful and gentle with Squall, but on the other hand, he also got the impression that if he didn't push, the commander would continue to seal himself away from him. He just had to be careful that he didn't push Squall too far.

He took a gamble, "Ellone says Rinoa is pregnant."

Squall's head snapped round and Laguna wondered if he'd said the right thing. Subtlety had never really been his thing anyway. Well, no going back now, he thought. "You know, your son or daughter won't have your childhood. Rinoa has good doctors to help her, you're surrounded by friends who won't send him or her away and," he added hesitantly, resting a hand on his son's shoulder, "I can be there."

Apparently this was a step too far, too soon. Squall quickly stepped forward, breaking contact. He took another step away before stopping.

"I'm not angry at you, but that doesn't mean you can play father." Some of the hope in Laguna withered as he listened. "Sorry, but you missed your chance. I don't need a father anymore. It's pointless to pretend otherwise."

Laguna shook his head, "Squall, a father isn't someone you start and stop needing. They don't disappear from their children's lives after they grow up and get married. I think Rinoa might agree with me here."

Squall's head turned to where his wife stood by the stage, talking rather eagerly about some matter to her own father.

"They have a history." He didn't bother adding that it was a bad one, neither did Laguna.

The father sighed, "The biggest mistake I've ever made was not returning to Winhill fast enough. The second was not looking hard enough for you and Ellone. I don't want to make number three now."

Squall remained silent and Laguna honestly didn't know if he should feel frustrated or hopeful. Okay, so it wasn't going fantastically well, but then he couldn't really say it was going badly. Squall hadn't simply reached for Lionheart and chopped him into tiny pieces, and that, in Laguna's books, was a definite plus.

"Okay," Laguna tried again, stepping up beside his son, "How about this, since we don't have a history, I'll tell you mine with Raine and Elle and you can tell me yours. We'll meet and talk. No pressure for anything else, just a friendly exchange of memories."

"I don't have many memories of my childhood."

"There's a whole seventeen years' worth before we met," Laguna pointed out, "I'm sure there's enough to tell me. And if you still think that having a father is pointless at the end of the day, I won't be here, but if you want me around; I'm there. What have you got to lose? But you have to admit," he grinned, "that it'd be nice for your child to have two grandfathers, especially one so awesome that he's president of Esthar."

Squall actually smiled a little at that, encouraging Laguna to continue softly, "I missed my son growing up. I don't want to miss my grandchild as well."

When Squall had a contemplative expression on his face afterwards, Laguna figured that this was what Quistis meant when she said that the other man thought too much.

"I want my child to have what I missed in life," Squall started, "A family is at the top of that list. Not that I can offer a normal functioning family." The last part was added as a snort.

Laguna stepped away this time, a new thrill in his heart and bounce in his step. "A normal functioning family?" he threw over his shoulder, "There's no such thing."

Squall was soon beside him again, as they walked towards the father and daughter at the other end of the Quad. Before joining them, Laguna gave his son one last set of words.

"Don't forget Squall, no matter what happened in the past, you have a family now."

**END**

Just a big thank you to Emerald Latias for beat reading and helping to sort out this chapter :D


	2. My Mind

**A/N:** I was going to put this up later in the week, but I got more reviews then I expected (okay, it was only three, but I wasn't expecting that much interest), so up it goes a few days early....that and I was bored.

**My Mind**

What was he doing here?

Squall kept asking himself the same question over and over again. It was the primary thought in his head as he sat outside the small Balamb cafe. It was a quiet place that he often came to with Rinoa for a couple of reasons; they served good food and, more importantly, it was out of way, making it very quiet. He didn't think that he'd ever seen more than three other tables occupied. He supposed it helped that he never came here at peak times.

He glanced down at his watch. This was stupid. Why did he even bother coming? This was a pointless exercise; he didn't need a father any more. He was a grown man and he'd done well for himself so far without his father, a 'father' who was currently late. He glanced at the clock. Five more minutes and he was leaving.

So then, why was he here? Because, as much as he hated to admit it, Laguna had been right; having grandfathers for his child would be wonderful, especially given the untimely death of the grandmothers. It was on the list of things that he wanted to give his child that he had never had. To take away this chance without even trying seemed petty. Especially considering that his attitude towards Laguna had changed a lot in the last three years. If it didn't work, which was likely, would he really be in a worse position than before? He doubted it. Besides, it would give solid grounds for Laguna to never pester him about it again.

"Sorry I'm late," Squall looked up as Laguna sat himself down opposite him, "I had to disentangle myself from my secretary."

Squall frowned. Did this guy seriously just ignore his work, just to come and see him? Typical Laguna, but it did give him an excuse to ditch this meeting.

"If you're busy-"

Laguna cut him off, "I'm not," he assured him, "She's just rather eager to redecorate my office."

A waitress arrived at the table, pad and pen in hand, shooting Squall a smile, "Rinoa not with you today Commander?"

"Not today," he replied, flicking his eyes to the woman.

"Still want your usual then?"

"Just a coffee today."

Laguna leafed through his own menu, "What would you recommend?"

"Depends on what you like." Squall replied.

Laguna glanced up at him but before Squall could decipher the look he was sending, the waitress answered the question for him, "Our 'Balamb Salad' is good," she gave Laguna a wide smile, which he returned.

"Well, how can I resist a recommendation from a pretty young woman?" he said mirthfully, "but I'll add a coffee to that as well."

Squall hid a sneer. He could be finishing that report currently sitting on his desk or signing those forms for the Garden Festival rather than sitting here watching Laguna flatter the waitress. He had enough work to do as it was without making things more difficult by popping off and wasting his time for lunch dates with Laguna.

Their waitress laughed and humoured the older man, "Squall needs to bring you along more often."

"Well, I'll do my best to convince Squall of that."

Squall's earlier thoughts of how stupid this all was returned to him. He started listing off even more things that he would rather be doing, including shopping for baby things and making a paper chain, as he waited for the awkward silence that would soon follow in the waitress's absence. He was proven right when she walked back inside, taking the cheerful atmosphere with her. Awkwardness filled its place as both men sat in silence, trying to think of something to say.

"So," Laguna begun, perhaps a little too enthusiastically, "Who wants to go first?"

Squall gave him a small one shoulder shrug. He had no idea what could say. His memories of the orphanage were patchy, dull growing up in Garden and well known after that. To top it off, he wasn't much of a storyteller to begin with. He didn't like discussing his past; his friends had to drag the subject out of him. Although Rinoa was more successful in this area, discussing it with Laguna would be uncomfortable to say the least. For what had to be the hundredth time that day, he had to wonder why he had agreed to this in the first place.

Laguna's smile dulled a little, "Well then, why don't I go first?"

Squall felt a little relieved by this suggestion, though was dulled by the knowledge that Laguna could talk till the apocalypse if he let him. He knew that the situation was getting to him when he found himself falling on old habits.

"Whatever."

"Is there anything that you want to know about? I'm sure you have a lot of questions."

He did and he didn't. He knew that there were some questions he _should_ want answered, but he couldn't find it in himself to be interested enough to _want_ to know the answers. Some he already knew, or knew the general gist of from what others, namely Ellone, had told him or he'd seen. Others were passing curiosities that left his mind soon after they appeared, disappearing back into the void from where they came. He may 'know' Laguna and Raine, but he felt little attachment towards them; they were merely two of many people that he 'knew'. Granted, he'd been inside Laguna's head, but it wasn't an experience that he treasured or wished to repeat.

"Not really."

"Why don't I start at the beginning?" For one frightful moment, Squall really thought he was going to start at his own birth and he would be subjected to the entirely of other of man's in life, in great, long, tedious detail. Fortunately for him, Laguna started with, "How I met Raine and Elle."

"Sure," came the monosyllabic reply.

Laguna sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair, his eyes sliding shut. The man took a deep breath and opened his eyes, fixing them on Squall. Disappointment and a little frustration swam in their depths.

"Squall, I really want to do this, I want to try and bridge this gap between us, but I need you with me on this. I can guide you along, I'm more than happy to do that for you, but I can't drag you along while you dig your heel in the ground." Laguna's light-hearted front had been pushed away. The Laguna sitting in front of him now was more serious then Squall ever thought he could be. The younger man realised that he had been looking forward to this and was now more than a little upset at his lacklustre attitude.

Laguna continued, "If you aren't going to put a little bit of effort into this, or even listen to what I'm saying, then you're wasting both of our time. If you're going to be like this, then I may as well go back to Esthar."

There was something ironic about being told to take something seriously by Laguna. Not only that, but it sounded suspiciously like he was being told to essentially grow up.

The waitress returned, setting down their mugs of coffee with sugar and a jug of milk. She told them that the salad would be a few more minutes before she disappeared back into the building. He watched as Laguna tipped two spoons of sugar and a small drop of milk into his coffee. It was odd that of all the people in the world, it was Laguna that had made him feel like a sulking teenager. He supposed that he had been a little unfair. After all, he had agreed to this, no matter how reluctantly, so he should play his part in this arrangement.

Laguna stopped stirring and set down his spoon. "So, shall I continue?" Catching the double meaning, Squall nodded.

Laguna's smile and carefree attitude returned. Opening his mouth, he began his story....

_...To say that Laguna was in pain was an understatement. He felt like every single bone in his body had been shattered into a million pieces, shaken about and his skull split open, He wouldn't be surprised if his brain was lying on the ground in a puddle beside him and why, oh why, was a chocobo trying to scratch its way out of his body? How the hell did it get in there in the first place?_

_He should probably open his eyes, he realised. Groaning at the mere thought, his head screamed in protest. Why open your eyes when this blissful sleep was willing to welcome you into its loving embrace? Yes, he liked that plan, sleep sounded very good at that moment. Unfortunately, the nagging thought that disagreed wouldn't leave him alone. So slowly, ever so slowly, he cracked open his eyes, preparing himself for the bright light that lay on the other side of his lids. The sun was too bright, Laguna decided, it should have a dim switch or something. Yeah, that would be really good._

_For a minute, Laguna thought his wish had been granted. The sun wasn't nearly as bright as he was sure it should be. Then he realised that something was blocking the light. A dark object hovered over him, the sun beaming down behind it so he couldn't make out what it was clearly. Then it came; the high-pitched squeal. Laguna winced as his head protested at the new sound. _

"_Raine! He woked up! Look!"_

_He really wished she'd stop shouting near him, it hurt so much. At least he knew that his head was still together, though he just wasn't sure for how much longer. _

"_Ellone, don't crowd the man." The small object was removed from his view and the sun flared up. He groaned and screwed his eyes shut. He felt another shadow over him and the other voice spoke. "Are you alright?"_

_Laguna could have laughed. Was he alright? Was Diablos the messenger of love? He groaned instead. No, no he wasn't. He tried to speak but his mouth wouldn't listen and his brain let all the words slip away. He opened his eyes again and tried to focus on the object above him. It was a face, he decided, and a female one, but beyond that his mind couldn't focus. What the face looked like was far down on his current list of priorities._

"_Can you walk?"_

_He tried to focus on the face again, failing horribly as the sun at her back blocked any detail from his vision. Walking? The mere concept was absurd to him. He wasn't sure if he could lift a finger, let alone stand on two legs. So he settled on his default response; he groaned again._

_There was a soft sigh and then a pair of hands underneath him; he felt himself being lifted into the air. The movement jerked his body, setting it on fire and making him cry out in pain. The high-pitched voice sounded again, but this time he couldn't distinguish the words from the noise. All he knew was the pain that had become his world. _

_He clenched his jaw, trying to stop the cries from escaping his broken body and to force down the pain desperately. It worked...sort of...to a limited extent. He managed to push the stars away for long enough to know that he was being carried and each step that the woman took sent a fresh wave of pain through him. He tried to stop his body from shaking with sobs, tears streaming down his face. Hyne, how could anything hurt this much? The stars invaded his vision again and everything started to become haze of colour. A new voice joined olds ones in a stream of noise before the colours and noises disappeared into darkness. _

_(&)_

_Laguna slowly became aware of his world as the blinding pain was now reduced to a dull ache. Soft bedding surrounded his body and the smell of flowers filled his nose. He was warm and he was comfortable. That was, until something sharply poked him._

"_You woked up." Laguna turned his head, which felt like the only part of his body he could move. Standing by the bed was a small girl, no older than three, with short brown hair matching her curious deep brown eyes. _

_He smiled, "Yep, I woked up."_

"_Yoo like to sleep." she giggled._

"_I was really tired," he lied, "Did I sleep for a long time?"_

_She bobbed her head. "Forevaaa."_

"_I slept forevaaaa?"_

_She beamed up at him. "Yep. Like a fairy tale."_

"_Really? Does that make me your princess then?"_

_The girl laughed. "Nah. It makes yoo Raine's princess." The girl seemed to thoroughly enjoy the idea of him as a princess. _

"_Raine? Is Raine my knight in shining armour then?"_

_He was rewarded with another squeal of laughter. "Yep! She found yoo sleeping on the beach and carried you aaaaaaaaaaall the way back." She stopped for a moment there. "That was a really silly place to go to sleep."_

_He didn't quite have the heart to tell the girl that he didn't exactly choose to fall asleep there. "Yeah, it was, wasn't it?"_

"_Ellone?" A new voice came, giving Laguna a name for his young companion. "You shouldn't disturb him."_

_The woman, Raine he guessed, came into view. She was attractive but not in the same way as Julia. Julia, with her short dark hair and well-defined features was glamorous while this woman, Raine, had a natural and warm beauty with soft blue-grey eyes, long brown hair and a curvier figure._

"_I'm sorry if Ellone disturbed you." she addressed Laguna in a smooth, strong voice. "She's been very curious about you."_

_Laguna smiled, "No problem, best waking up I've ever had."He missed out that fact that he could have done without the poking. "So you are my knight in shining armour?"_

_Raine looked slightly confused and Ellone giggled. "He's a princess!" she said in a stage whisper. _

_The woman seemed to realise that she was missing out on some inside joke that the two had formed in the brief moments he was awake. _

"_Ellone found you, but I carried you here and looked after you." She stepped close to the bed, just behind Ellone as the young girl called out that she helped too. As she came closer, he realised just how beautiful the woman was. There was an air about the woman that countered the softness, telling him that she knew how to stand her ground. "My name is Raine, and this is Ellone. I've looked after her ever since her parents died."_

"_It's a pleasure to know the names of my knights. I must say that it is a pleasure to have the prettiest girl in the village as my rescuer."_

_Raine's expression told him that she wasn't impressed. "Wonderful, I picked up a sweet talker."_

_Laguna grinned. "I'm only telling the truth."_

_She crossed her arms, frowning down at him. "You haven't seen anyone else in the village. How can you know if I'm the prettiest girl in the village?"_

_Laguna never stopped grinning. "That's true, but I was actually talking about Elle."_

_Ellone's eyes went round and then she grinned. Looking up at Raine, she gave her verdict. "I like him."_

_Raine shook her head even though a smile was pulling at her lips. Laguna may not have been very good when dealing with women, but it seemed that he was very good at dealing with little girls, particularly ones called Ellone...._

"...And that's how I met Raine and Ellone." Laguna finished, grinning broadly in what Squall thought was a foolish manner. Squall drained the remaining coffee out of his second mug of the afternoon. He nodded and Laguna looked a little disappointed. "You know, you make a really lousy audience Squall."

Squall nearly shrugged but stopped himself from doing so, remembering Laguna's earlier words. He honestly couldn't think of anything to say. What did someone say to something like this?

"I see?"

Laguna rolled his eyes. "Better, but not great."

"What do you want me to say?"

Squall felt a stab of annoyance at the man; this wasn't something he was good at or used to. How did Laguna expect him to react? Laguna seemed to pick up on the annoyance in his voice as he held up his hands in a pacifying gesture.

"Well, I guess it is our first meeting." he conceded, taking a gulp from his own coffee afterwards.

Something nipped at Squall's curiosity as he watched Laguna, surprised to even find himself voicing the question.

"Raine carried you to your house?"

"Well, her house, but yes."

"On her own?"

Laguna chuckled. "She was a strong woman. She ran her own pub and did most of the heavy lifting. Not to mention, Winhill isn't a big place, as you've seen."

Squall nodded again and the atmosphere lapsed into awkwardness. Each with their own thoughts about what they should say. Eventually Laguna drained his cup. "Why don't we leave it there for this week?"

Squall gave a curt nod, relieved to be able to escape.

"Same time and place next week?" the older man asked.

"Isn't this putting you out of your way, having to come to meet me every week?"

"I'm on my way to Galbaldia and I'm due to return in a week so it's on my way, really." he casually answered, digging around in his pocket for cash. "Not that it really matters, what with having my own plane, several actually, and Estharian planes travel a lot quicker than Garden ones."

"It hardly seems worth it." Squall commented, also standing. "-Travelling for a few hours just to spend a couple of hours talking to me."

Laguna stood there with a small smile in place, "It may not be worth it to you, but it's worth it to me."

With that, he left, leaving enough gil to easily cover the whole bill and tip.

**End of My Mind**


	3. Julia

**Fragments of Memories – Julia**

"So," Rinoa began chirpily, spreading her arms wide, "-what do you think?"

Squall gazed at the object. "It's a piano," he stated.

Rinoa laughed from where she sat at the instrument, shaking her head slightly. "I know that, but what do you think about it?"

"It's..." He struggled to find the appropriate words. He would have been lying if he said he wasn't surprised. Who wouldn't be if they came home to find their living room rearranged and a piano sitting in one corner? For the first time he was glad that, as commander, he got large living quarters. "....a piano," he repeated when nothing better came to mind. "Why is there a piano in our living room?"

She smiled up at him, her fingers flying along the keys. "My mother used to play to me when I was little. She taught me how to play."

The random notes became more selected and then the opening bars of 'Eyes on Me' could be made out.

"This was the first song she taught me to play." Her eyes became distant as her fingers flew along the keyboard, remembering the notes long after the mind had forgotten them. "I loved music from listening to my mother play, then playing with her to finally playing on my own. I wanted to give my own child the same joy I received from music..._even after everything else fell apart in my life,_" she said, quietly adding the last part to herself.

When she continued, her usual spark returned, however. "I mentioned it to my father, so he gave me my mother's piano." When she mentioned this, he realised that he recognised the piano; it was the one that used to sit in the Caraway Mansion. Rinoa looked up uncertainly. "You don't mind, do you?"

Somewhere along the conversation, Rinoa had merged into another song again. He thought it could have been 'Sprouting' though it was hard to make out. Squall shook his head. "No. I'm just surprised. How did you get it up here?"

The uncertainty left her eyes and she relaxed back into the song. "The music department were replacing some instruments this afternoon, so I arranged for them to help me move the piano into the room as well." She paused for a moment before continuing. "How was your first meeting with Laguna?"

"Awkward," came his truthful reply, "but informative, I suppose."

"You'll get used to them," she encouraged, "and they won't be so awkward."

"You sound sure about that."

She glanced up at him, a playful smile on her lips. "You got used to me."

Neither spoke for a moment, Rinoa became lost in her music while Squall was lost in his wife. She was a good player, he realised as he resisted the urge to wince, but then her mother had been a famous singer and pianist so he supposed it was to be expected. He would have absorbed himself in the music if only...

"It needs tuning," he commented.

Rinoa pulled a face. "I think I'll have to agree. There isn't a single key in tune." Her fingers left the keyboard, bringing the music to an abrupt halt. "I guess no one's played it for a long time. I'll ask someone about it tomorrow." And then she carefully replaced the key cover. "You're really not upset?"

"I'm not. It'll be nice, I guess."

Rinoa rose from the piano stool, smiling up at him. "You know, 'Eyes on Me' is about your-...Laguna."

"I guess." It wasn't very difficult to work out. Once one figured out that Julia was _the_ Julia, two and two went together very quickly.

"She talked about him when she was first teaching me how to play 'Eyes on Me'....."

_ Rinoa hit the last key of the rather watered down version of her mother's song._

"_Well done Rinny."_

_ The girl beamed at her mother. "Can we play this song together at Daddy's party?"_

_ Her mother's smile wavered slightly. "Don't you want to play our lullaby?"_

_ She shook her head. "This is my very favourite of all mummy's songs."_

_ Julia smiled softly at her daughter. "Well, I think it would be for the best if we played our lullaby."_

_ "Why?" Rinoa had reached the age where she had discovered the wonders of the question 'why'. A question that came after any reply and set off a chain reaction that could potentially last forever - a new wondrous game to frustrate and annoy. Oh, the wonders of the question 'why.'_

_ "Because daddy doesn't like the song very much."_

_ "Why?" came the sing-song response._

_ "Because it's not about him."_

_ Her curiosity piped, Rinoa abandoned her game for a moment. "Who's it about?"_

_ "A man I knew before I loved your father."_

_ "Why'd you write a song about him?"_

_ "Because I liked him very much."_

_ "Did you like him more than daddy?"_

_ The little four-year-old had no idea that she had just hit upon a most awkward subject. She looked up at her mother with large brown eyes, unaware of her mother's discomfort. _

_ "Well, I won't say more..."_

_ Fortunately for the mother, Rinoa seemed to have found a far more interesting question that needed an answer. "Do you like him more than me?"_

_ "Of course not," she replied, pulling her daughter into a one-armed hug and kissing the top of her head. "I don't love anyone more than my little Rinny."_

_ Rinoa giggled, grinning up at her mother. The girl would not be distracted from her ultimate goal, however. "Why'd you write a song about the man?"_

_ "A long time ago, before I fell in love with your father, I used to play the piano at a bar, but, I couldn't think of any words to go with my songs so I could only play the piano. Every night, the man would come and listen to me play and he would smile. I would know that he liked my music and it made me very happy. One night, he tried to come and talk to me while I played but he became very nervous and he got a leg cramp." _

_The woman smiled blissfully at the memory but this made little Rinoa frown. "What's a leg cramp?"_

_ "It's when your leg hurts and you can't move it very well."_

_ Rinoa wrinkled her nose, it didn't sound like the kind of person __**she'd**__ want to write a song about. "Why'd you write a song about a man with leg cramp?"_

_ Julia laughed again. "Because afterwards we had a very long talk and he told me all about his dreams. When I listened to him, I felt I could give my music words of their own and make my own dreams come true. By the end of the night, I liked the man very much."_

_ Rinoa frowned in confusion; she didn't understand. "Why doesn't daddy like the song then?"_

_ Julia sighed. "Because your daddy asks the same question as you. He knows I love him very much but he wonders if I like the other man more. So I think we shouldn't talk about this to your daddy then. Ok?"_

_ Rinoa nodded, but she wasn't finished with her mini-interrogation. "But if you married Daddy, then you must love him more."_

_ Julia hesitated before she answered. "You're right Rinny, but your father worries because before I could get to know him better, the man went away and he never came back."_

_ Rinoa fell back to her favourite question. "Why?"_

_ "I don't know Rinny, but, I like to think that he's around somewhere and that he met a wonderful person who he loves very much. I hope he's as happy as I am. Don't you think that would be nice?" _

_ Rinoa carefully thought for a moment before nodding; yes, it would be nice._

_ "And who knows? Maybe he has his own little boy or girl and one day you'll both..."_

...Squall frowned at Rinoa. "Now you're just making things up."

Rinoa mischievously grinned. "Maybe I am, maybe I'm not."

**End of Julia**


	4. Where I Belong

**Where I Belong**

"Did I really bore you so much last time that you had to bring work with you?"

Squall looked up from the folder he was leafing through to see Laguna take the seat opposite him. "I had it just in case you arrived late again." he replied, laying down the folder amongst the various sheets scattered across the small table.

"I would have thought that all of Garden's documents were confidential. 'Top Secret' and all that."

"They are, but this is the Garden Festival organisation papers."

A smile tugged at Laguna's lips. "You're organising the Garden Festival?" His warm tone betrayed his blatant disbelief.

"Of course not. Selphie's organising it but she's on leave to visit her parents in Trabia."

"I thought Selphie was an orphan."

"You really don't think do you?"

The words had left Squall's mouth before he had time to think about them. When Laguna looked taken aback, Squall kicked himself for speaking out of line. He had been rude and was about to apologize when he remembered that, with his relationship with Ellone, Laguna of all people should know that blood isn't everything.

Instead of apologizing, he chose to merely continue with his explanation with a less curt tone. "Her adoptive parents. She lived with them till Trabia Garden opened."

"She's still in contact with them?"

Squall gave him a level look. "Evidently."

"I see you brought your friend again."

Both men looked up to see their waitress standing with her pad and pen ready. Squall didn't bother correcting her on the friend part, choosing to simply answer instead. "Coffee and mixed sandwiches."

The waitress simply repeated the order as she wrote it down, used to Squall's direct attitude. She turned to Laguna. "And will you have the same as last time?"

"Why not."

"Balamb salad and a coffee right?"

Laguna raised an eyebrow. "Good memory."

She grinned and walked off, calling over her shoulder, "It's my job."

As she left, Squall went about the task of collecting all the papers. He slid them into the folder, creating more space on the table.

"I knew that Zell and Quistis were adopted; were they the only other ones?"

"Irvine was adopted as well."

"I didn't know that."

Laguna looked surprised and Squall didn't know why. Smooth, sweet-talking Irvine not adopted? Not a chance. If memory served, Irvine was the first to leave.

"I thought that he'd grown up in Garden like you." Laguna continued.

"It's a common mistake." Just like everyone assumed that he was born in Galbadia. Something he hadn't been of innocent of either.

_ "Well, Selphie's on a mission at the moment so I thought my ol' buddy Squall would have a drink with me."_

_ "It's two a.m. Irvine."_

_ "I know, but it's just a drink. Please."_

__"Guess he joined later like Selphie." Laguna's comment shook him out of his reverie.

"Not really."

"Not really?" There was a little amusement mixed in with Laguna's question.

"Irvine didn't become a SeeD until sometime after we defeated Ultimecia."

Laguna looked confused. "But I thought he was your sniper to assassinate Edea?"

"He was."

"How is that-"

"-Garden sometimes sub-contracts."

"I didn't know that."

"It's uncommon now, and we have to inform the client when we do, but sometimes we don't have the right person or skills for a job, especially when Garden was starting up. We only use the best sub-contractors though."

"How do you get into that position by seventeen?"

"His father was a sniper."

_Shit._ Squall hadn't meant to say that, it was a stupid slip-up. It didn't matter though, he reminded himself. It wasn't anything that Laguna couldn't find out easily enough and, more importantly, it wasn't anything that Irvine kept hidden. He'd just have to be a bit more careful from now on.

Laguna didn't blink or seem surprised about this new information, making Squall suspect that the other man at least had his suspicions about Irvine. "Taught little Irvine the tricks of the trade? His mother must have loved that, or was that the plan all along?"

Squall shrugged. He was saved from giving a proper response by the timely arrival of the waitress carrying their food and drinks. They watched as she slid the tray onto a nearby table, freeing her hand to place various plates and cups onto their own table.

In reality, Squall knew the answer to Laguna's question, but to give it would intrude too much into Irvine's privacy. Laguna had no right to know how it was Mrs Kinneas's idea to adopt, but at half the age of her husband, she had no idea how to raise the little boy. Irvine found himself as an accessory, a display item to dress up, show-off and play with when she felt like it. Irvine insisted that she wasn't a bad person, just young and naive.

Mr Kinneas had then surprised himself by taking a shinning to the boy and the two grew closer. Despite his efforts, Irvine grew more distant from his 'mother'. By the time Mr Kinneas died, Irvine had formed a strong-enough bond with Martine to be allowed to simply move into the Garden. Laguna had no right to know all this and Squall had no right to tell him.

Laguna seemed to realise that he wasn't getting any more out of Squall on the subject. There was a moment's silence as both began eating before Laguna started again.

"So you and Seifer were the only ones who weren't adopted?"

Squall looked up at the question, a faint tinge of amusement running through him. "Does that surprise you? Seifer has always been 'troubled' and I..." He trailed off, not entirely sure how he was going to finish that statement.

"But surely that meant that you needed a home more."

Squall leaned back with his sandwich still in hand, trying to stop the corner of his mouth from twitching. "If you had a choice, who would you choose - Ellone or me?"

Laguna frowned across at him. "That's not a fair question."

No, it wasn't, because they both knew what the answer would be. "Then between Seifer and Quistis."

"Yeah, but Seifer's an arse."

Squall fought down a snort of laughter at Laguna's blunt description. "Then why would they think that I'm any different?"

"You're not a bad guy, you were just-"

"Quiet?" Squall interrupted, not interested in Laguna's assumptions of what he had been like, "Reserved? Anti-social? Cold?"

Laguna tried a different tactic. "Quistis didn't get along with her parents. Maybe they would have been better off with you or Seifer."

He shot Laguna a curious look. How the hell did he know that Quistis didn't get along with her adoptive parents?

Laguna grinned and stirred his coffee. "Hey, you're not the only one who can talk with your friends."

Touché. He didn't answer for a moment, chewing on his sandwich. This was Quistis's past they were talking about. It made him uncomfortable to sit around and gossip about it. After all, he wouldn't be happy about Quistis gossiping about his past.

However, Laguna had already talked about the matter with Quistis herself and she hadn't seemed to mind so he supposed there was no harm. Besides, the longer they talked about Quistis, the less time they'd talk about him. Squall did have to wonder why Laguna seemed more interested in his friends then himself though. He would have thought that Laguna would have got his answer about Selphie and then used that to broach the topic of his own past.

Still, best not to make another stupid blunder. "What did she say about them?"

"That her parents were doctors and wanted her to follow in their footsteps. She didn't want to so they fought and she ran away. Well, that was the gist of it anyway."

"They picked Quistis because she was smart, pretty, popular and friendly - the orphanage golden girl. That's what they wanted, their own little doll to dress up and follow down their path. When she didn't want to go down that path, they fought. Eventually, Quistis had had enough and ran away to Garden and took back her birth surname. I think her adoptive parents decided it was for everyone's benefit if they just let it lie."

"Is there anything thing else you need?" The waitress appeared by their side.

Laguna looked up at her and smiled. "I'm fine. Squall?"

Squall gave a curt nod and a thank you which sounded more like a more like a dismissal then he intended. The waitress's eyes sparkled with humour. She threw a lazy mock salute and gave an 'aye aye Commander' before sauntering off.

"You must know her quite well?"

Squall looked blankly across the table. "Quistis?"

"No, the waitress."

"Carla?" Squall glanced at the woman at the bar. "She works full-time so she often serves me and Rinoa."

"I haven't seen many people so playful with you."

Squall picked up another sandwich, hoping it would prevent him from having to reply to the comment. One problem with talking to Laguna was that he often made comments that Squall had no idea how to respond to.

"Well," Laguna said after swallowing another mouthful of salad, "guess that leaves Zell."

Realisation hit Squall and he gave a sharp exhale of breath that could have sounded like the beginnings of a laugh. His lips twitched. Laguna was a lot subtler then he realised and a little bit craftier. He'd obviously taken the advantage of Selphie's family life to ease Squall into their new routine. It was obvious, especially after last week, that Squall was not going to be Mr. Open, but it was easier to talk about someone else's past than his own. So what better way to get Squall used to the idea of talking about his past than talking about his friends' pasts instead? It was like a training exercise.

"What?" Laguna looked at Squall with a bemused expression.

"Nothing." Squall replied though Laguna obviously didn't believe him. "You wanted to know about Zell?" he continued, deciding to humour the older man.

There was a small shift in Laguna's eyes and he smiled. Squall wasn't really sure whether Laguna had understood that he knew what was going on, or if he just thought that he was opening up to him. The alternative was that Squall was completely wrong and that Laguna was just a lot easier to distract than he thought.

"When did you meet Zell again?"

"At the beginning of secondary education when he joined Garden."

"I hear that's when SeeD training starts."

He heard? Laguna made it sound as if it was casually mentioned in passing during a conversation. He had no doubt that Laguna had been informed of just how the Garden education system and training was structured.

"Officially, yes." and he left it at that, leaving out, amongst other things, the games they played in physical education and the exercises they did in computer training.

"Did you remember Zell?" Squall shook his head, his mouth currently filled with his last piece of sandwich. Besides, he didn't really want to encourage the other man along this line of thought that could potentially lead to touchy subjects.

"Did he remember you?"

Squall shrugged, it wasn't a lie since he really didn't know but guessed that he hadn't. He didn't really remember Zell joining Garden. The memories going that far back were still very hazy and there were a lot of students who had joined Garden at that point. How could he remember one person from the crowd? He wasn't even sure if the two of them were in the same class or if he just knew Zell from joint class lessons and reputation.

Laguna set his fork down. "I think we've exhausted this subject for now. Why don't we leave it there for this week?"

Squall was tempted to point out that they hadn't once touched on either of their own pasts during this meeting but he stopped himself. He wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth. If Laguna was happy to just talk about the orphanage gang this week then he certainly wasn't about to argue.

"Fine."

Laguna stood while Squall gathered up his folder and slipped it into his bag.

"See ya next week then."

He took up Laguna's goodbye to see the man walking away and once again, there was enough money on the table to cover both meals.

**End of Where I Belong**


	5. Rivals

**A/N: **Hi guys, hope everyone had a great xmas and new year. I was supposed to get this done ages ago, but you know- real life. Lots of work for uni: 2000 characters of Japanese to translate and then research for a presentation and research essay. Then a bit of a block and lots of helping out for xmas.

**Rivals**

Laguna sighed heavily and set his cup down. "Squall…"

Oh dear, Squall knew what Laguna was going to say. He'd say that they'd been meeting for a month now…

"We've been having these meetings for what, a month now?"

…and in that time they'd talked a lot about Laguna….

"And I've talked a lot about me; we've even talked about your friends,"

….and yet, they'd not touched on Squall at all.

"But you haven't talked about yourself yet."

Squall didn't let his satisfaction at knowing what Laguna was going to say show. After all, it had been rather obvious.

"We're supposed to be sharing stories which...kinda requires you to tell me about your past as well."

Squall resisted the urge to squirm in his seat, taking a drink from his coffee instead. He was lucky to get away with it for this long. He gave a small, one shoulder shrug. "I don't have anything to talk about."

"Well, you could use what I've talked about to help you. Let's see….you could talk about how you met Rinoa?"

"Rinoa's already told you that."

Laguna had the decency to look embarrassed, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Yeah, well, it'd be nice to get your side."

"Why?" Squall genuinely didn't understand.

Laguna shook his head, dropping his hand, "Forget it. What else have I talked about, the first date I had with Raine…" Laguna briefly looked at him and correctly assumed that this was a long shot, "Oh, last week I told you how I came to be in the army. So Squall, tell me about joining Garden."

Squall couldn't help but to gawk at him. Laguna didn't seriously expect him to know that, did he?

"I don't remember," he honestly replied.

Laguna's face fell. "You don't remember? Nothing?"

"I remember an old teacher showing me to my dorm."

Strange, the things your mind keeps a hold of.

"That's it?"

"GFs," Squall offered by way of an explanation.

"Yeah, but it was one of the most significant changes of your life."

"It was about 15 years ago."

"But still…"

Annoyed by Laguna's comment, he replied, "Tell me about your first day at school then."

Laguna closed his mouth. "Touche."

He watched Squall, his index finger tapping against his mug, thinking, Squall guessed, about how to proceed. The older man muttered something under his breath. "Questions, I guess then."

The waitress arrived with their food. A new girl, who mumbled the order, glanced at Squall and turned bright red before running off. Squall picked up a sandwich and was about to take a bite when Laguna interrupted.

"You got your scar in a fight with Seifer right?"

"Correct," he said and took a bite. He'd given up even trying to guess where Laguna got all his information from. He was president of Esthar; if anyone could get information, it was him.

"You two fought a lot?"

"I suppose."

His relationship with Seifer was…complicated. He was told it was more like a sibling relationship, though personally, he really didn't know how true this was. He didn't like to think about it; it simply was. He couldn't change it and he wasn't sure if he wanted to. Seifer had been the most constant factor in his life, until recently, no matter how many times they tried to kill each other. A part of him had assumed that Seifer would always be there to annoy and push him.

"Didn't you ever walk away?"

Walk away? A seventeen year old boy, a SeeD trainee, walking away from his rival? Not a chance.

"Do I need to dignify that with an answer?"

"Guess not, but did it always go so far?"

"It was the first serious injury he had given me."

Laguna raised an eyebrow. "First?"

The older man had a frustrating way of putting people at ease and Squall had quickly discovered he wasn't much different. He wasn't as careless as many, only little things would slip out. Nothing important, he just wasn't careful enough with his phrasing. In moments like these, he wondered how consciously the other man did it.

"After he joined Galbadia, we fought several times." He didn't want to discuss his torture at the D-district prison.

"I see," his tone implied he knew Squall was hiding something, but he moved on to his next question, "Serious injury?"

Squall shrugged. "You stated yourself that we fought."

"So what did you fight about?"

What didn't they fight about? "Whatever Seifer felt like fighting about."

"What were you fighting about when you got that?" Laguna waved a fork at his scar.

"Nothing, really."

"Humour me," Laguna said, stabbing at his salad. Squall gritted his teeth for a moment and then forced himself to relax. He couldn't back out of this now; he knew that was coming. It wasn't really private since it had taken place in front of the class. All he had to do was lay out the facts. It was just like handing in a verbal report…..

…_The classroom was mostly full; the students either milling around in groups or sitting at their work stations as they waited for Instructor Quistis to arrive…_

"So Quistis was an Instructor before the war?" Laguna interrupted.

"She was demoted just after I was made a SeeD."

"Ouch."

Squall refrained from stating the obvious, instead choosing to continue…

…_Squall sat at his own desk, reviewing his lessons…_

"Weren't you a diligent student?"

Squall gritted his teeth, "Can't you keep quiet for two minutes?"

"Sorry, I thought you might like a helping hand."

"You're not helping."

"Sorry, please continue."

… _Squall sat at his own desk, reviewing his lessons when he felt someone standing beside him. A glimpse of a long pale coast identified his new companion as Seifer. Squall ignored him, staring at the screen. However, Seifer is not a man who is content at being ignored. _

"_Squall."_

"_What?" His eyes never left the screen._

_Seifer also wasn't the type to be satisfied with taking someone's divided attention. He wasn't surprised when the blond leaned forward and switched the computer off. Squall turned to look up into the smug face of his rival. He suddenly became very aware of the fact that they were now the centre of attention in the class._

"_It's rude to ignore someone who's talking to you."_

"_What do you want?"_

"_I found a plateau in the mountains."_

"_Good for you." Squall said, turning back to his screen, ignoring the giggles from around the room. Before he could reach for the power button, Seifer had covered it with his hand. _

"_We have a score to settle." Squall didn't bother asking what it was. Seifer was always thinking up some score or reason to fight, ever since he'd started ignoring Seifer's taunts and teasing. Seifer continued when Squall didn't reply, "Tomorrow. Meet me in front of the lifts in the entrance hall, as soon as curfew lifts."_

_Squall half suspected that what he had actually wanted to say was 'meet me on the field of honour at dawn.'_

"_Whatever."_

_The entrance hissed open and Instructor Quistis stepped inside, calling for them to take their seats…_

"…That's it?" Laguna looked across at him, looking both surprised and disappointed.

"What were you expecting — an exciting and insightful story into my mentality?"

"No, well, maybe, but…"

"Seifer was always trying to pick a fight, most of the time over nothing."

"But you weren't always fighting right?"

Something nagged at the back of Squall's head.

"No, not always."

There were memories of Seifer that were tolerable. When they took the SeeD exam together, or when they happened to share the same view. There were also times when he didn't feel like fighting, as rare as they were, or he was looking for an ally in whatever he was planning.

The nagging at the back of his mind became distracting. It was a memory, and an old one, but it was still half buried under the dust of time, filled with gaps and holes. But their conversation seemed to cause it to rise again, bobbing to the surface and trying to take shape.

"What is it?" Laguna's voice broke through his mental backtracking.

"Nothing."

"It looks like you're trying to remember something."

"I guess."

"Was it a time when the two of you got along?" 'Got along' was perhaps an exaggeration, "Tell me about it."

"I don't really remember it."

"Well maybe sharing it will help you remember it."

"There isn't much of it I remember."

"Come on, let's work through it together. When was it?"

Squall stopped himself from denying the request. "When we were young, I don't remember how young. He turned round to me and said that he was bored. I think we were travelling." Squall stopped to think, trying to grasp what came next. "He told me that I was moping and needed to…"

No, that was wrong, that came later, or it was another time.

"You needed to..? You didn't finish." Laguna prompted.

Squall pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to think, "Sorry, that was later, I think. He had a book with him at some point so maybe we were in class." He clenched one fist to stop himself thumping the table. This was unbelievably frustrating; it was hard to believe that such a small thing could be this maddening. He had come to accept a long time ago that he would never recall everything from his past, but to be trying to remember something and have it continuously escaping his grasp was different. He liked having what he needed there, easy to access, not for it to be just out of his grasp and control.

"It's okay, just take your time." Laguna gently encouraged.

"I think we were talking about Ellone, but I'm sure it was after we'd left the orphanage."

"Tell you what; tell me next week." Laguna suggested. Squall let his hand drop away from his face. "Think about it for the week, get your thoughts in order and then we can discuss this next week instead."

"I get homework now?" Squall joked.

Laguna stood up, grinning. "Only when you haven't finished your work in class. Next week then?"

Following Laguna's lead, the commander also rose from his seat.

"Fine," he said, wondering how he'd remember anything about such a small insignificant memory in a week.

**End of Rivals**

Hey, one more chapter! The other flashback originally went in this chapter as well, but then I decided to move it. Well, I hope the update after such a long wait wasn't too much of a disappointment.


	6. Unrest

**Unrest**

Squall would have been lying if he'd said that he wasn't surprised when he arrived at the café to find Laguna already sitting at one of the tables. The other man was not only on time but early, an event that had not yet occurred during their meetings. Kiros must have been in charge of his schedule today, he reasoned.

"Ah Squall, there you are." As Squall slipped into the opposite seat, Laguna continued. "I'm early today." He looked so proud of himself that Squall bit back the sarcastic response on his lips. "I've already ordered for us. I guessed that you'd have the same as always."

"You never have anything different either." Squall pointed out, opening the folder he'd brought with him.

Laguna chuckled. "Not this week. I fancied a change."

Shame he didn't change a few other things while he was at it.

Squall pulled out a couple of sheets of paper and handed them over to Laguna. The president took them with a bemused expression.

"What's this?"

"My memory."

Laguna spluttered. "Squall, you can't just type it up and hand it to me like an essay. You're supposed to tell me." He pushed the pieces of paper back towards Squall. "Now try again."

They paused as Carla brought their food and coffee over, setting it down on the table. Laguna had traded his normal salad for a thick slice of chocolate cake with ice cream. Their waitress shot them a smile before she was off again, called away by another customer.

"So what was your memory about?"

Squall leaned back, knowing that his idea had been a long shot. However, he did vaguely note that he wasn't quite as uncomfortable about this as he was last week. He just had to think about it in the same way; as a report.

"I believe it was when the remaining orphans were being moved from Edea's orphanage to Garden. On the flight over…."

…_.Something hit him on the head. He couldn't remember what he was doing beforehand, but he wasn't surprised when the paper ball struck him. He looked up. Seifer grinned down at him, leaning over the back of his seat._

"_I'm bored," he announced, bouncing another paper ball off the top of Squall's head, "Play a game with me."_

"_We're supposed to sit in our seats." Squall replied glumly. _

_Seifer shrugged. "I'm bored." he simply repeated, as if this excused everything._

_Squall didn't reply. _

"_You're still moping about Ellone."_

"_Shut up."_

_Seifer grinned. "Bet she left because you were so mopey." _

"_Shut up!" Squall cried, kicking the back of Seifer's seat._

"_Seifer, sit down." a young assistant chided as she passed them by. _

_She paused till Seifer had taken his seat and the click of the safety belt was heard before she continued to the back of the plane. Not two minutes had passed before a faint click was heard again and Seifer reappeared over the top of his seat, clutching a book in one hand this time. The boy stuck out his tongue at the retreating back of the assistant as she disappeared into the back of the plane._

_Seifer looked back down at Squall. "You're even moodier than before."_

"_Go away."_

"_I'll let you read my book if you play with me." _

_He received no response._

_Seifer wrinkled his nose. "What's up with you? We're going away from that boring old orphanage; it's an adventure. Edea said that if I work hard, I can be whatever I want."_

"_And how will sis find me?" Squall asked, not really wanting an answer. _

_Seifer frowned down at him. "I thought you were gonna get stronger so you could see Ellone." He looked at the boy below him. "You don't look very strong."_

"_Go away Seifer."_

_A wicked grin spread across the blond boy's face. "Squall doesn't want to see Ellone anymore."_

"_I do!" Squall objected._

"_She won't want to see you when you're weak and stupid."_

"_I'm not stupid."_

"_What 'cha gonna do? Cry so loud Ellone can hear you?"_

_Squall swallowed back tears. "I'm not gonna cry."_

"_You need to be strong, just like a knight." _

_He waved his book in front of Squall to illustrate his point. It was a picture book, hard-back and worn from much use. On the front was a handsome knight striking a heroic pose as he protected a beautiful woman behind him. _

_Whether Squall agreed with what Seifer was saying or not didn't matter. In his current mood, he wouldn't have even agreed with Seifer if he'd said that rain was wet. _

_Squall knocked the book away. "I don't want to be a stupid knight." _

"_Knights are not stupid!"_

"_Are too."_

"_Are not."_

"_Are too."_

"_Are not."_

"_Are too."_

_Any affection Seifer might have had for the book in his hands seemed to disappear as at that moment, he chose to hit Squall on the head with it. Squall cried out and clutched his head. Seifer hit him again and Squall grabbed it. The two boys latched onto the book, each trying to wrestle it out of the other's grip, throwing childish insults at each other._

"_Squall Leonhart! Seifer Almasy! Stop fighting this instant!" _

_The assistant was back._

_Squall dropped the book, looking at the woman who stood with her hands on her hips._

_Seifer jabbed a finger at Squall. "He started it."_

"_I di-"_

_He was interrupted by the woman. She pressed a finger to her lips, making a shushing noise. _

"_Seifer, how many times do I have to tell you to sit down and belt yourself in? If I have to tell you one more time, I'm taking that book away."_

_Seifer heavily threw himself back into his seat and the belt clicked into place. Satisfied, the assistant moved away. _

_For a few minutes peace reigned supreme between them, until-_

"_Squall, I'm bored…"_

... There was silence after Squall had finished in which he felt the creeping of awkwardness coming over him. It wasn't really an interesting story, just something silly about two boys fighting. He'd been comfortable enough working though it with Rinoa and, now he knew how to tell his stories in a way that suited him and he'd been fine telling it to Laguna.

It's when he thought back on the memory that he felt increasingly self-conscious. He'd probably bored Laguna with it and the younger Squall in the story had seemed so idiotic and pathetic. Part of him wished he hadn't told Laguna about it now or that he should have edited it a little.

Laguna looked at him thoughtfully. "It sounded as though you and Seifer had talked about it before."

"We might have had a similar conversation," he told him, musing that it probably ended in a similar way with him as well, "I can't remember if we did, or even if he put the idea into my head."

"That you had to be stronger to see Elle?"

Squall nodded, avoiding looking Laguna in the eye by draining the last of his coffee out of his cup. Looking back, he realised what a ridiculous idea it was, especially now that he knew that Ellone's departure had nothing to do with him. He wasn't even sure what good he'd thought it would do, if he'd thought it was the cause of the problem or the solution.

Laguna nodded. "It's a natural reaction. If you're powerless to stop something from happening, we want the power to set it right, or at least to stop that from happening again. Men of all ages react the same way." Squall didn't say anything but he felt himself relax a little as his embarrassment faded. "—Especially since no one told you why Elle had left. You had to try and work it out yourself."

What Laguna said made sense and seemed genuinely spoken. In that context, he supposed his reaction wasn't so ridiculous. Laguna's reaction was encouraging as well. He was prepared to call off these meetings if Laguna had laughed or stifled a yawn but he'd actually made Squall feel better about it; an unexpected turn of events, indeed.

"Elle said you isolated yourself so you wouldn't lose anyone close to you again."

Alarm bells rang and he tensed; Laguna had blundered into a rather sensitive area. Squall must have made his awkwardness clear as the older man's hands shot up.

"Whoa. I wasn't going to pry. I just wondered why you continued even after forgetting about Ellone."

"Habit," he replied flatly.

To be honest, he wasn't sure if that was entirely true. He suspected that by the time the GFs had stolen his memories the fear was too deeply embedded into his subconscious to simply move on. He'd struggled against the impulse as he drew closer to his friends, his mind screaming at him to stop before he was hurt. Of course, he had no idea that's what it was. He supposed it also suited him fine. It meant that he knew what people thought of him.

"I see. I'm sorry; I didn't mean to touch a sensitive subject."

Squall forced himself to relax a little.

"Well, thank you for sharing your memory with me."

"It was dull," Squall bluntly replied, "and I told it poorly."

That was true. It must have seemed shoddy to Laguna who told his stories smoothly, rich in details and emotions. Squall's attempt had been more like a debriefing.

"—Not at all." Laguna reassured, digging around in his jacket pocket to pull out his wallet. "It's good to hear that you were a kid once, just like everyone else-"

"—I'll pay," Squall rushed out, a little too sharply perhaps.

Laguna looked up, puzzled.

"You've paid every week so far," Squall explained. The older man smiled.

"It's okay. I don't mind, it's not like I'm short of money."

"Neither am I," Squall pointed out and reached for his own cash. There was something about Laguna paying each week that made him uncomfortable.

Laguna paused before nodding and dropping the wallet back into his pocket. "If you really want."

Squall attracted Carla's attention, finally paying the bill for one of their meetings.

**End of Unrest**

Blah, sorry if that was a disappointment, I wrote and rewrote sections and paragraphs over and over again.


	7. Love grows

**Love Grows**

_Hands roamed over her naked body, causing her to shudder. He trailed kisses down her neck and her breath caught at the sensation and also at the sensation of having him inside her. He thrust again, hot skin rubbing against hot skin. _

"_Oh Hank," she breathed, "Harder-"_

"Okay," Squall interrupted, lifting his hand to emphasis his comment, "I get the point. You can stop reading now."

Rinoa smiled broadly down at her husband and closed the book she was reading from.

"You see what I mean?"

"Absolutely. Are they all like that?" he asked, pointing towards the box of books on the table.

"Every single one."

"And you found them in the library?"

Rinoa nodded. Shortly before marrying, she had taken a job in the Garden library, working as an administrator. It suited her well, she enjoyed spending time in the library anyway and was eager to do something useful with herself.

"Do you see why I confiscated them?"

He nodded, plucking another book from the box of ex-library books. He gave the cover a critical look.

"They're dreadful."

Rinoa bit back the urge to laugh. While she'd expected Squall to disapprove — after all, porn had no place in the Garden library — what amused her though, was that what Squall seemed to disapprove of wasn't so much the fact that the library had porn, but the fact it was that it was_ badly-written_ porn.

"It's a waste of paper," he added as he dropped the book back into the box and leaned back in his chair.

"You know..." Rinoa began, smiling when he looked at her confusedly, "I think it's safe to say that we can knock Hank off the list of names for consideration."

A small laugh broke from Squall lips, "I couldn't agree more."

When some knocks on the door interrupted their conversation, Rinoa placed the book down on the table.

"I'll get it. It's probably Selphie; she wanted to come round and see the sonograms."

She quickly stepped over to the door and opened it. It had barely slid halfway open when Selphie appeared inside.

"Did you go?"

"They're on the table," she told her, waving in the direction of the pictures sitting on the table opposite the box of books. Selphie sped past and Irvine stepped into the room.

"Evenin' Rinoa. How'd it go?"

Rinoa tried to think of a good way of phrasing her answer for a good second or two before saying anything. "We got a surprise."

Her friend raised an eyebrow, "A good surprise?"

Beside the table, Selphie made a happy noise. "You're having twins!"

Rinoa smiled, "...That kind of surprise."

Selphie turned round, grinning madly. "This is amazing; you're having twins!"

Rinoa's smile widened, she couldn't help it; Selphie had an infectious grin. "You should have seen the look on Squall's face."

"I wasn't the only one who was surprised," Squall spoke up from his seat.

Rinoa stepped up to Squall as Selphie passed Irvine the pictures. Resting a hand on her husband's shoulder she leaned down closer to his ear, "Yes, but your expression was priceless."

She hadn't seen him so flabbergasted and lost for…well anything, since she'd told him she was pregnant…

…_Squall stared at her. His eyes wider than normal and uncomprehending, not quite reaching the puzzled or shocked stage. His mouth was slightly open, trying to find something to say._

"_Pregnant?" He finally settled on._

"_Yes."_

"_As in…"_

"_Do you know another definition?"_

"_No," he conceded._

_Rinoa bit her lip. Squall didn't seem to be taking this well, or at least as well as she had hoped. While it was true that he didn't seem angry or upset per se, as it could have been a lot worse, she had hoped for better. She reached out to cup his cheek._

"_Talk to me Squall; what are you thinking?"_

_He reached up, laying his hand over hers. "Surprised. Nervous. I know we were talking about starting a family, but we've only just started __**talking**__ about it recently."_

_There was a question on her lips that she dreaded giving a voice to, fearing the answer, but it needed to be asked. "Do you want me to have an abortion?"_

"_No!" Squall's answer was quick and spoken in earnest. Rinoa didn't think he could have given a better response._

"_No," his second answer was spoken more softly, "I want this. I do. I'm just surprised. I thought we'd have more time."_

_He leaned forward, resting his forehead against hers. He closed his eyes and a soft laugh escaped him._

"_Our child." His hand came to rest against her neck, his thumb brushing against her cheek._

_Rinoa grinned, closing her eyes as well. "Yes, our child."_

"_**Our**____very own child. From you and me."_

_She laughed. "Yes."_

_A soft laugh escaped him again and Rinoa swore she could hear the hints of nerves coming through that laugh. _

"_I'm going to be a father."_

_She tilted her head, planting a soft kiss against his lips. "Yes Squall; you're going to be a father…"_

"Hey, Squall?" Rinoa was interrupted from her thoughts when Selphie spoke. "Are you gonna show these to Sir Laguna next week then?"

Rinoa glanced up at Selphie before looking back down at her husband. She'd been wondering how she was going to broach this subject, but it looked as though Selphie had already done it for her.

"I'm not sure," was Squall's simple reply.

"You know Squall," Rinoa continued cautiously, "I think it'd be good. I'm sure he'd like to know. He will be the grandfather after all."

"I haven't decided that yet."

Irvine placed the pictures back on the table. "You still don't like him?"

Squall frowned up at the cowboy. "I don't dislike him. He's a good person even if he is a fool. I just don't need him in my life." He picked up his and Rinoa's empty mugs from earlier. "It's not as if he can give me parenting advice."

And with that, he walked into the kitchen, effectively ending the debate.

"He doesn't know how lucky he is," Irvine muttered.

"He just needs more time with Laguna so he can find a reason to respect and be proud of him," Rinoa tried to reassure him.

Squall came back into the main room and Selphie changed the subject. "So what are these books for? Parenting?"

"Not quite," Rinoa replied, glad to be away from the awkward subject, "They're books I confiscated from the library."

Irvine picked one of the books up and chuckled. "I remember these."

"You've read them?" Rinoa wasn't sure if she should be surprised or not.

"Yeah, they were popular with the Galbadia Garden girls."

Somehow, Rinoa wasn't surprised. "Just don't tell me that they taught you everything you know."

Irvine dropped the book back into the box and looked mildly put out. "Please. Do I look like I've had that little sex?"

"I don't want to know," was Squall's quick reply.

Selphie looked up at the clock saying, "We should go. I want to get to the cafeteria before it gets too crowded."

The couple politely turned down Rinoa's invitation for them to stay for dinner, Selphie saying that they probably had things to talk about. Rinoa didn't miss the second meaning behind the words.

Alone with Squall again, she watched him take a seat on the sofa. What was the best way to convince him just to tell Laguna? Surely he wouldn't deliberately hide this from his father, not out of spite anyway. She believed Squall when he'd said that he didn't dislike the older man, but that also didn't mean that he liked him as such. On the other hand, she also could see him not telling Laguna because it 'hadn't come up'.

"If I remember to take the sonograms, I'll show them to him then."

Rinoa watched her lover cautiously. "Are you sure?"

He shrugged. "It seems pointless to lie about it. He'll find out anyway so I might as well just tell him."

Rinoa slipped down beside him. "You don't seem happy about it."

"I don't want him to get the wrong idea."

"I'm sure he won't." Squall didn't seem convinced by her assurance, but he didn't say anything else on the matter.

**End of Love Grows**


	8. Heresy

Heresy

"…so then we realised that Ellone is allergic to nuts," Laguna finished with an ever-present grin on his face.

Squall was quiet for a moment. "I didn't know."

"Hmm?"

"I didn't know that Ellone was allergic to nuts," Squall explained. Then again, maybe he'd just forgotten; surely he would have remembered something so important about his sister, right?

Laguna didn't seem bothered by this. "That doesn't surprise me, I mean, until a few years ago, you didn't even remember that you'd spent the first few years of your life at an orphanage. In comparison, Ellone's eating habits would be a lot more insignificant. Well, is there anything else then?"

By then he supposed it was now or never. After all, Rinoa would kill him if he went back on his word now although he had been trying to figure out how to tell Laguna about the ultrasound in the appropriate way. In the end, he'd decided not to do as such. If he just handed them over then maybe the older man would just see this as a matter of routine and so, he pushed the envelope across the table top.

Laguna looked across to him. "What's this?" he said as he pulled the thin object towards him and then smiled, "It isn't more homework is it?"

A little embarrassed, Squall's insides squirmed slightly. "Rinoa said you'd want to see them."

Looking even more curious, and perhaps a little excited, Laguna picked up the envelope. Flicking it open, he took the pictures from inside. It took a moment to register with what he had in his hands but it was obvious when he did notice; his face had split into a wide grin. He gazed at the sonogram, looking almost as thrilled as Rinoa had. It was a few moments before his eyes widened. He looked back up at Squall.

"It looks like there are two there."

"There are."

Laguna chuckled. "Twice the amount of trouble," he joshed, despite looking happy about it.

Looking back at the photo, he chuckled again and then muttered to himself, "Twins."

He grinned down at the photo for another couple of minutes before looking back up. "Thank you."

Resisting the urge to shift awkwardly, Squall automatically replied, "It was at Rinoa's insistence."

Laguna's smile didn't fade. "Then thank her for me and I'll thank you for bringing them anyway."

When Squall didn't say anything, he moved on. "Do you have any names?"

"Gale."

"Gale? For a boy or a girl?"

"Rinoa says it's a unisex name so we can use it for one regardless. She's very keen on the on the name."

He on the other hand, wasn't so sure. Laguna, Raine, Squall and now Gale...it sat badly with him, aware that it appeared as if he was trying to have a running gag in the family — one which felt as if it tied him with a past that he wasn't sure he wanted to be tied to. Despite his misgivings, he knew it was important to Rinoa and supposed that it could have been worse. She might have wanted to name the child Ocean or Storm….or even Cloud.

"Gale…" Laguna repeated thoughtfully, "I like it. How did you decide on it?"

Squall wanted to snap back, '_no, it's not because I wanted a running theme with family names,'_ but he restrained himself, calmly replying, "It's the name of Rinoa's late uncle."

"Gale Caraway?"

Squall nodded.

"They were close then?"

"He was an ex-officer who lived on the outskirts of Timber. She spent several years living with him when the relationship between her and her father started falling apart. He died when she was fourteen and she had to move back with her father. She visited the house for her summer holidays till she finally ran away."

Laguna nodded. "It must have been hard being on such bad terms with her father."

Squall gave a one-shoulder shrug. "I wouldn't know."

Squall had half-expected the other man to wince at his comment. Instead, he had just rubbed the back of his neck; an action Squall had identified as a nervous or awkward habit. "Yeah, well, that's not really the issue here."

Something twigged in Squall's mind as he looked across to Laguna. The other man quickly looked back down at the picture. Now that he thought about it, Laguna had never mentioned any family besides Raine and Ellone. Not once. Strange considering Laguna was such an open and talkative person.

"You've never mentioned your own family." The words left Squall before he thought about the possibility that he had just opened the floor to Laguna giving him a lecture of the genealogy of the entire Loire family.

Laguna shrugged, slipping the sonogram back into its envelope. "It's not really important; it'll probably just bore you." Like that had ever stopped him in the past, Squall mused when he handed the envelope back to him. "Thanks again for bringing these."

Squall didn't take it. He blinked away the look of surprise that threatened to appear on his face, examining the man more closely. He nearly burst out laughing. He didn't believe it; the other man was avoiding the subject. Could it be that there was actually something that Laguna didn't want to talk about? And, above all things, it had to do with family.

Squall felt the tables turn and he couldn't deny the small thrill of satisfaction it gave him. "You don't want to talk about it." The hint of disbelief was evident in his voice.

"Well it's not so much that-"

"Then what is it?" Squall wasn't a vindictive person by nature but after all the awkwardness he'd experienced over those first few weeks, he felt as if Laguna deserved some of his own medicine. If Laguna wasn't prepared for this then he shouldn't have started these meetings.

Laguna sighed and placed that envelope back on the table. "My mother ran off with another man when I was still young, so I don't remember much about her. After that, I was raised alone by my father. Unfortunately, we didn't get along."

Squall hadn't expected this. He'd expected Laguna to continue avoiding the subject, at least for a while longer, and not to be somewhat willing and forth coming on the matter. When he sensed that his plan was backfiring on him, he became the one who felt uncomfortable; was he supposed to say something here? He never liked these sorts of subjects.

"He was in the army, but never got very far." Laguna continued. "He always wanted me to join as well and do better than he had. He didn't like the fact that I wanted to become a writer so we argued a lot. At first it was about my future and then it was about everything. He won the argument about me joining the army in the end though."

"How?" Squall was too intrigued not to ask. Laguna wasn't the type just to do what other people wanted him to do; he followed his heart. He realised now that when Laguna had told him about joining the army a month or so ago, that he'd never explained why he'd chosen to join, just the actual process.

"I convinced myself that it was best for me. I could travel and see new places and widen my experiences. Things that would help me become a better writer although the reality was that I'd finally had enough; I just didn't want to deal with my father anymore. It didn't really help though. I suppose we just couldn't get along anymore. He just started pushing me to apply myself and to stop being a sloppy soldier instead. He used to tell me that I lacked any real ambition and I was a piss-poor soldier. Well, I guess I can't argue with the second part. After awhile, I stopped trying and when I went MIA, I just didn't bother contacting him again."

Laguna took a deep breath. "You see Squall, I had a bad relationship with my father; I don't want one with you as well. This is one of the reasons that I'm so keen to make this work between us. It's my own selfish reason."

Squall didn't answer. He hadn't felt this uncomfortable for at least a couple of weeks now. He had grown used to the system and so he'd become comfortable. Now he'd done this. Not only had Laguna shared something that Squall himself would never talk to Laguna about, but he had shown that he was willing to discuss topics that he was awkward with just because Squall had asked, and that he was prepared to do it first. He would do what it took to make this work. Squall had essentially forced Laguna into upping the game and Squall could feel the pressure mounting on him.

End of Heresy

I really wanted to do something with his family. I mean; we know NOTHING about them. He goes MIA and doesn't seem to bother trying to contact them with a little 'I'm still alive guys' Then he becomes president of one of the biggest and most powerful nations on earth and still nothing. No 'hey look at me', or a 'I really ought to tell someone I'm alive now as have more the enough means to do so.'


	9. Don't be Afraid

**A/N: **I'm back!! Sorry, I really didn't mean to be gone for so long, and this time it wasn't my fault, honest. You see, the problem was that my laptop was stupid. Please feel free to skip the following rant.

The wireless wasn't working so when I tried to fix it they said to recover the hard drive, which I did. Now of course this meant that Word was no longer installed on my computer, not only that but the problem wasn't fixed. So I had to book for it to be taken away and so there was no point in uploading the Office in that time. Unfortunately when they said that they'd booked my computer to be taken away they lied, so I rang up and had to book it again and the next slot they had was about a week later. So two weeks after I wiped my hard drive someone finally came and picked up my laptop.

And so, like the good little 'patient' girl I am I waited to hear back. A week went by and nothing. Now I needed it back for an essay for uni, so I rang to see how it was coming along and I swear I got the most incompetent person in the universe. Summary was that as it didn't say anything so he didn't know. Another week goes by and I get worried so I ring up. The reason the guy couldn't find my laptop on the system was because they lost it. THEY LOST MY LAPTOP!!! So they had to give my vouchers to get a new laptop (which I had to travel 30 mins by car to get). So a month later I finally have a fully functional laptop again.

End rant. Oh, and now they found it again and gave it back so I currently have two laptops...

**Don't Be Afraid**

Squall rolled over in his bed, drifting back to the waking world, his eyes drawn to the glowing numbers on his alarm clock. Three o'clock and his throat tickled with thirst. He debated whether it was worth getting up; he'd have to get up in a short few hours anyway, so why not wait? His throat would not be swayed by such logic, however, the tickle rising to a dry scratch that would not cease.

Being careful not to make too much noise or disturb the bed too much, he slipped out from under the covers, making his way across the room. As he approached the door, it hissed open and light unexpectedly flooded into the room. He shut his eyes against the glare of the bright light and waited for his eyes to become accustomed to it. A strange crunching noise came from inside the main room. He turned his head to the sound and opened his eyes; he assumed that if it was something trying to kill him, it would have done so by now. He blinked, not from the light but from confusion.

"Rinoa?"

Before him, sitting at the main table, was his loving wife, a toffee apple lodged in her mouth. Beside her on the table was a cardboard box. She waved at him.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

She removed the toffee apple from her mouth. Lifting a finger, she indicated for Squall to wait a moment while she finished chewing. After a few more seconds, she finished her mouthful.

"Eating," she simply stated.

Squall could have rolled his eyes. "So I see. Why?"

"I had a craving for toffee apples." She reached into the cardboard box and pulled out another a simple item of food. She held it out to him, "Want one?"

"I'm fine."

Rinoa dropped the untouched fruit back into the box.

Squall walked over to the table as Rinoa took a small bite from her own apple. After reaching the table, he made his next comment. "I didn't know we had any toffee apples."

"We didn't."

Squall decided he didn't want to know the answer to his unvoiced question. Instead he asked, "Do you want a drink?"

She nodded. "Apple juice." she said, taking another large bite.

He walked past her into the kitchen and went to pour the drinks, the distinct crunch of apples in the background. He quickly gulped down a glass of water before filling his glass again and, along with his lover's drink, carried them back to Rinoa. She gave him a quick thanks as he placed her drink in front of her and he took the seat opposite of her.

They sat for a moment in silence, Squall sipping his drink until Rinoa spoke up. "Did you tell Laguna that you wouldn't be able to make this week's meeting?"

"I rang the Presidential Palace and left a message with his secretary," he paused for a moment before continuing, "Are you sure you don't want someone to come and stay with you while I'm on the mission?"

"I'm a big girl, I can look after myself." She finished her apple and tossed the stick to on a growing pile. She reached for another one.

"How many have you had?"

"This is my fifth," she said in a rather distracted manner as she was unwrapping the sweetened apple, "Are you relieved that you don't have to see Laguna this week?" She finally managed to disentangle the wrapping from the apple.

"A little I suppose." He leaned back, running a hand through his hair, "It's just...I have to match his family story now and I don't want to."

Rinoa continued munching before she swallowed and said, "What if you hadn't pushed him?"

"It was fine, we weren't becoming fast friends, but I wasn't dreading the sessions anymore."

"Maybe you should focus on that." There was another crunch as she bit into the apple.

"It's a little hard to ignore," he muttered.

"Maybe this will help you become closer."

Squall didn't answer, looking down at his half empty glass. The problem was that he didn't know if he wanted to become closer to Laguna. Sure, he didn't really mind these meetings anymore, and his annoyance at the man was decreasing, but he still didn't see any reason to want him as a permanent factor in his life.

"You're still not sure if you want a father figure?" Squall looked up from his glass of water. He gave her a small smile as a sign that she was right. "Are you disappointed that Laguna is your father?"

"Not really. He's not the man I'd pick, but it could have been worse."

Seifer could have been his real brother, he thought bitterly.

"You're not disappointed that he didn't live up to your expectations?"

"I didn't have any."

Rinoa raised an eyebrow. "You never dreamed up an image of your father?"

"I probably did," he admitted, "but I don't remember it, and it wasn't important. I had Sis."

"What about after she left?"

"Then I wanted her back, not someone who'd never been in my life. "

"You never wonder what would have happened if you were whisked away by Laguna?"

Squall shrugged. "You can't change the past, Sis found that out the hard way. Besides," he reached out and took her hand, "I like what I have now."

She smiled back at him, the mood more slightly disturbed when she continued to take a bite out of her toffee apple. Of course there were things that Squall didn't mention. If Rinoa inquired, he would have been forced to admit that the idea that he could have been brought up in a completely different way was frustrating at times, but not enough to focus any real anger towards Laguna. However, it was also from this where his dispassion towards the entire situation came from. No, he found that he couldn't be angry for _himself._

Squall finally glanced at the clock. "I should go back to bed; I have an early morning tomorrow."

He dropped her hand and drained the remaining water from his glass. "Coming?"

She shook her head. "I'm good," but she stood anyway, placing the apple on the tabletop. She stepped round the table and wrapped her arms around his neck. "You will be careful won't you? I mean, more than normal?"

He wrapped his arms around her, drawing her as close to him as the bump would permit. "Of course. I'll be back soon and in one piece, I promise."

She rested her head against his shoulder, seeking the warmth of his presence. He couldn't say he regretted Laguna's absence because to do so would mean saying that he regretted not only his friends but his new family.

**End of Don't be Afraid.**

Woot. We have another update. Again I'm sorry about the long update time.


	10. Wounded

**Wounded**

Rinoa stirred in her bed, resurfacing from her dreams. The room was still cloaked in darkness, making her wonder what had awoken her; she didn't feel particularly awake or hungry and it clearly wasn't time for her to wake up. She was about to roll over and go back to sleep when she heard the bathroom tap turn on and the rushing of water. She turned onto her side to see the bathroom door ajar, light filtering through the small gap. There was a rustle of clothing and something heavy hit the floor.

A smile tugged at her lips as she realised her husband had come home. "Squall?"

The movement in the bathroom ceased. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to wake you."

Her smile faded, a small frown taking its place. Something didn't feel right at all. She shuffled across the bed saying, "That's okay. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine Rinoa." She heard the sound of material hitting the floor again — a glove, she guessed. She swung her feet to the floor as he spoke again. "Go back to sleep."

Bracing herself, she stood. "You don't sound fine. Did you hurt yourself?" Fear crept up her spine and she mentally shook her head. No, he couldn't be seriously injured if he had come here instead of the medical centre.

"It's nothing." She made her way across the room to the door. "I-I just need to wash up. You don't need to worry, just rest."

There was a tremble in his voice, small and easy to miss, but it was there and it set her nerves on edge. She rested her hand on the door, pushing it fully open. "You're fine my-"

She froze.

Squall stood before the sink with the tap was running, his hands resting on the sink basin. There was nothing out of the ordinary, except for the blood. It churned her stomach. She was used to blood; she had to be after everything she'd seen and done, but Squall's shirt was drenched, his hands were stained and red flecked up his arms.

"It's not mine."

The words were of little comfort.

"Squall," she gasped, wide-eyed, "What happened?"

Her husband reached for the soap and avoided meeting her eyes. "Nothing." He scrubbed his hands. "Nothing to worry about, it's just SeeD business."

She was about to demand if SeeD business usually left you soaked in blood before mentally kicking herself for her stupidity. If any job would leave you soaked in blood, it was a SeeD's business. She probably would have left it at that and gone back to bed to sleep if it weren't for Squall's reaction to this. She'd seen him after battles and jobs were he'd killed dozens of people but she'd never seen him like this before. There was something frantic in the way he scrubbed at his hands and arms, a strange distant light in his eyes indicating that his thoughts were elsewhere.

This was more than just SeeD business.

Her voice was soft and calming when she spoke, "You can tell me what happened." She reached out to rest her hand on his arm, but before she could make contact, he moved his arm away.

"Don't touch me."

Rinoa stood in wide-eyed shock. He hadn't reacted like this in three years, certainly not to her. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before continuing, his eyes staying shut. "I don't want to get blood on you."

In the following silence, she reached forward, taking the soap in one hand and his hands in the other. She guided his hands back under the water. He didn't resist this time, letting her wash away the blood.

"So then," she began again, "What happened?"

He opened his eyes. "You don't want to know."

She smiled up at him. "That's an advantage of marriage; I can tell you all about my dull day of shopping for baby clothes while you can tell me about your latest kill."

She could have sworn he winced at that. "It's not-" he stopped, "I just did something I've never done before. I'm a little ..." he looked for the right word, "shaken. It'll pass."

Rinoa wasn't entirely sure that that was a good thing. "What was it then?"

He was silent. Over the years, she had learned to respect that there were times when Squall had a right to keep things to himself. This wasn't one of those times. In fact, she got the impression that this was the opposite. He was still avoiding her eyes.

"Squall, I'm your wife, which means, like it or not, you're stuck with me." A light pull tugged at his lips. "So you can tell me what happened."

For a moment, Rinoa thought he'd ignore her request, and then...

"We had to move in before we got all the information the client required," he explained in the vague way he referred to missions in, "It was important information to the client...so I got it."

She nodded and then what he said caught up with her. She froze, catching the unspoken meaning. Cold horror swept through her. Her husband had tortured someone and, judging from the amount of blood on him, the victim had not survived. She wasn't even sure how he got so much on him.

"Told you that you didn't want to know." Squall's mirthless humour jerked her out of the daze. She pushed her feelings to the side. She knew what Squall did for a living, bloody hell, it was how they met; she knew he did things like this. Still, actually seeing him soaked in blood...

It didn't matter. Okay it did, but this was still Squall; the man she loved and one who clearly wasn't happy with what he'd done. When she'd married him, she had promised to love and stay by him for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, through the good times and the times in which he came home, covered in enough blood to start his own blood bank. That's what it meant to marry a SeeD.

Her grip lightened. "We better get that shirt off then."

He looked slightly surprised at her comment, but his hand tightened in hers. She didn't exactly have a higher moral ground on this. After all, the Timber Owls were going to use any means necessary to get President Deling to give Timber its freedom all those years ago, and Squall wasn't the only one to come home covered in blood...

_...Rinoa crept back through her window, her feet touching as lightly as possible. She slid the window closed behind her. Making her way to the bathroom, she peeled off her t-shirt, sticky with blood, her bra shortly after that. She dropped them both in the sink and turned the tap till hot water flowed over her stained clothes. She then disappeared back into her room briefly to grab her pyjamas. _

_She threw her jeans in the bath tub; she could wash them later. She turned the tap off and dipped her hands into the reddening water, ready to scrub away the blood. She looked up into the mirror and noticed the dried blood on her chest. She cursed. How could she forget the blood on her skin? She looked down at the sink, at the red water lapping round her hands. A man's face flashed before her eyes. Clean water. She took her hands out of the thin red liquid; she needed clean water._

_She looked round the small room and her eyes fell on the bathtub. She stepped over, ignoring the jeans that lay at the bottom. The man's face flickered before her eyes and she turned the tap to distract herself, reaching for the face cloth on the side. The task of washing away the blood was a mindless one though the scene played over and over in her mind. The soldier coming towards her, her panic and then releasing the pinwheel into the man's face when he was not even a foot away from her. The man never had a chance to move or scream out. He stumbled forward and fell onto the shocked girl._

_Rinoa shook her head to chase away the images. She placed the stained red cloth under the still-running tap. Zone had grabbed her as Watts pushed off the dead man and they had fled. They had abandoned the self-given mission when it was obvious that their leader was too shocked to complete it. But the face of the man kept flashing into her mind, causing her throat to tighten and her stomach churn with conflicting feelings. She'd never killed anyone before and she didn't think she'd have to today. She had had no other option than to shoot, but the unexpected turn was a shock to the system. She'd have to kill again before Timber was independent; she was certain of that and it was a cause she was willing to do it for, but for the time being, all she wanted to do was crawl under her blanket and cry away her guilt. _

_There was a knock at her bedroom door and she jumped. Her heart beat wildly as she listened, praying that whoever it was would go away. The knock sounded again, but more impatiently this time, and she scrambled to turn the tap off._

"_Rinoa I know you're in there." Her father's voice travelled to where she crouched by her bath. She looked around the bathroom, wildly wondering what the hell she was supposed to do. She couldn't wash the clothes now; she didn't have time. At least the water would drain out of the bathtub, but the sink..._

_She spun round and scrambled to the sink. Shoving her hand past her top and bra, she pulled the plug, hoping that it wouldn't make too much noise. Having red water everywhere would be too obvious, but then if she left the light off, maybe he wouldn't even come into here. She dashed out, pulling on the light cord and closing the door; all she could do was hope that he didn't look inside._

"_Rinoa, if you don't open this door now..."_

_She frantically looked round the room for anything she might have forgotten, wishing that she wasn't so scatty. Why, when she needed to the most, couldn't she just keep her thoughts in order...the pinwheel! She ran over to her bed and shoved her weapon underneath it and out of sight. Oh, but the cover over it was too tidy. She ripped it back and rather unsteadily made her way to the door. Taking a deep breath to calm the shaking nerves, she opened the door. She had barely cracked it open when her father burst in. Stepping into the room, he whirled round._

"_What the hell did you think you were doing?"_

_Her father's rude interruption and harsh question added to her panic. She didn't need this, she needed to crawl into bed and hide for the night. How dare he come into her room in the early hours of the morning and then demand to know what she'd been doing? Wasn't he supposed to be at work or something? She whirled round but her response died on her lips. She'd never seen her father so angry in her life._

_She swallowed. "Sleeping."_

"_Don't lie to me; I know where you were." He lifted up a disk for her to see. "You were caught on camera."_

_A chill crept over her, stealing her breath away. He had to be lying, making her think he had proof of what she'd done. But then, if he didn't have proof, then how did he know? He looked pissed enough to know what she'd done. Maybe he thought she'd done something else..._

"_Where are the clothes?"_

"_What-" she began to reply automatically._

"_I don't have time to play games," he snapped back, "You were just lucky that I was at the base at the time. You're an idiot."_

_Once again, Rinoa was shaken from her daze at the insult. "I'm not an idiot."_

_General Caraway raised an eyebrow, "You're not? Then what are you? To walk in a military base and kill a Galbadian soldier on camera; are those the actions of an intelligent person? Bloody hell Rinoa; you killed a man. You killed a man and you didn't even have the common sense to cover your face."_

"_I had to do it; it was important for Timber."_

"_Timber! What does Timber have to do with you? I knew I shouldn't have let you continue going there every year, not after your uncle died. All it's done is fill your head with whatever nonsense they spew."_

_Rinoa's hands clenched into fists. "It's not nonsense, they deserve their independence. They deserve their freedom."_

"_The war has been over for fifteen years; they should wake up and realise that. It has nothing to do you."_

"_I love Timber." Rinoa nearly shouted. Why could he not understand that one simple thing?_

"_And this is where it's led you. Do you realise how much trouble this has caused? I had to call in half a dozen favours and threaten several soldiers' careers if they didn't keep their mouths shut. All that just to completely wipe this from the records. "_

_Rinoa couldn't keep her temper in check any longer. "Of course that's all you care about; your stupid rank and reputation."_

"_It's that 'stupid' rank and reputation that saved you."_

"_I didn't ask for your help."_

"_Would you have preferred to spend the rest of your life in the D-district prison?"_

"_If it meant dragging you down with me then yes. At least I'd have done something worthwhile."_

_A tense silence filled the room. The seconds dragged by until her father finally spoke. "I don't have time to argue about this." He turned away, scanning the room. His eyes settled on the bathroom and strode towards it. _

_Rinoa rushed forward, "You can't-"_

"_You're not leaving the house."_

_She halted and stared at the man in front of her. "What!"_

"_I'm not letting you do anything else stupid. You should stay at home and concentrate on your studies. Soon this will all blow over."_

_He disappeared into the bathroom and she ran after him. "You can't lock me up in this house."_

_He wringed out her t-shirt and gathered up her jeans. "I can and I will."_

_She drew herself up to her full height. "I won't let you."_

_Clothes in hand, her father turned back to her. "You can't stop me. I will not let you-"_

"_What? Ruin your career? Let me live my life? I'm not one of your witless soldiers."_

_He looked at her for a moment before passing her. "You need to calm down. A few days here will clear your head of this nonsense."_

"_It's not nonsense; I care about Timber, more than anything else — more than Galbadia and certainly more than you."_

_Her father didn't reply, storming out of the room in silence instead. The door shut firmly behind him. She stood there, fuming on the spot. How dare he? First he'd stopped her playing the piano, then he'd sent her off all over the continent for her 'education' and now then she'd finally found something she'd believed in again and he was taking that away from her. _

"_Fuck this," she muttered under her breath. _

_She wasn't going to stay trapped in here like some fairytale princess. She marched back into her room, her distress from earlier gone, anger taking its place. She had a new strength. In front of her wardrobe, she threw open the door and grabbed items of clothing to change into. She didn't care what she pulled out as long as it fit. Like hell she was going to stay here when she had a perfectly good window to leave through..._

"...Looking back, I guess we both could have dealt with the situation better." Rinoa leaned against the bathtub, resting as she waited for her lover to step out of the shower. "I think he was a lot more worried about me than I gave him credit for. I guess any parent would freak out if they'd just seen their child kill someone."

The sound of water cut off and she reached for the towel. Squall stepped out and, ignoring the rather pleasant sight of her husband dripping with water, Rinoa handed him the towel.

"Why _did_ you reconcile with your father?"

Rinoa watched him drying himself down. "I've had time to think about it, especially after everything we've been through. I had a chance to put the past into context and think about the future."

Squall didn't reply to her, his towel over his face as he dried his hair.

"I'll get you fresh night clothes."

She moved back into the bedroom and started shifting through drawers for Squall. At least telling her story had given her time to settle everything in her mind. She valued Squall the person over Squall the SeeD. Soft footfalls on the carpet alerted her to the fact that her lover had finished drying himself. She turned and offered the clothes.

"Here you go."

He took them and dressed silently.

"Better now?" she asked.

"A bit," he admitted, "the rest will pass."

She stepped up to him and slipped her arms round him, her bump snuggled between them. "I wasn't lying when I took my vows. I am with you; for better or worse. I'll stand by and love you no matter what."

He hesitated for a second, but only a second before his arms surrounded her. "I love you," he whispered.

His arms tightened round her as he spoke again, "Are we doing the right thing?"

She looked up at him. "What do you mean?"

"Look at me; my job, my life, my past. I have to be the worst choice for a father."

"Stop right there Squall," she shook a finger at him, "Don't go down there. You have so much to give; you have love and you're a good person. You have as much right as anyone else and more than many."

Squall didn't look entirely convinced. She rested her hands against his face. "We're in this together. If you can't believe in you, then believe in us." He nodded. "Come on; let's go to bed, it will all seem better after some sleep."

She hoped so anyway.

**End of Wounded**

And there's another chapter. I actually got the idea for this after something InstigateInsanity said. It was originally going to be a one shot, but instead I thought that as I could tie it in nicely in this fic that I may as well just include it in here. Hope everyone enjoyed it as it has a different feel to everything before it.

As this is about the halfway point (give or take a chapter) I'd just like to give a quick nod to Emerald-Latias who's been beta reading this fic for me. Also thank you to everyone who's faved and alerted this story and a special thanks to everyone who's reviewed, especially Artemis Fowl II, Angel Wings-008, MonMonCandie, Sorceress Rinoa Heartilly and Blue Jae.


	11. Drifting

**A/N: **Sorry about the long wait, I've been buried under course work for uni. In the last two weeks I've written over 9000 words for two essays, well at least the cosplay essay was fun. But it's all done! Finished! Complete! No more essays and no more Uni! Mwahahahhahhaha; no more essays EVER! :manic frantic giggling:......Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a dinner date with real life; I believe I'm on the menu.

**Drifting**

"...and then they made me their chief." Laguna finished, spreading his arms wide in a dramatic gesture.

Squall made a small 'I see' noise, nodding but not really paying attention to the man's long story about how he had become president. His mind was too preoccupied by other and more important fears and worries.

"It really was quite an epic journey."

"Hmph," Squall grunted; his mind still on his worries. They'd always been there but, since his bloody return a few days ago, he'd started giving them more serious thought.

"Of course it doesn't really matter as you weren't listening to a word of what I've said anyway."

Squall perked up as he shoved his previous thoughts from his mind and gave Laguna his full attention. "I was listening."

"No you weren't."

"You were talking about how you became president of Esthar."

"That's true," Laguna admitted, picking up his mug of coffee, "but if you were listening, I'm sure you would have said something about the alien abduction," he took a sip from his coffee mug and Squall stared at him, "or when I single-handedly defeated the space war fleet, but I know you definitely would have stopped me at the part where I began supreme ruler of the known universe."

Squall just stared at the older man as he drank his coffee. He was joking, he had to be. Surely he would have noticed if Laguna had really said something so outrageous, even if he wasn't paying all that much attention. He scanned the man's face for signs that he was bluffing and found none. He really didn't think Laguna was lying about this. To call Laguna's bluff would likely show him up as not only not listening, but also as lying. But if he'd already been caught on the former?

He was saved from replying by the clink of the empty coffee mug being set back down. Laguna turned his gaze on Squall but, instead of the annoyance that the commander had expected, there was only concern.

"I've never known you to be this distracted. What's wrong?"

"It's nothing."

That was a bold-faced lie and Squall knew it.

If it was nothing then it wouldn't have been bothering him for the last few days. In the past, he had simply pushed it to the back of his mind in favour of what he wanted, which was to be a father. However, recent events had shoved the fact that he was probably the most inappropriate person for the role into the spotlight. He had no role model to base himself on and he certainly wasn't a shining example of a man himself, and his job....

—Was he really the kind of person who should have children?

"You're lying." Laguna held his gaze and Squall forced himself not to look away. "It's obvious that something has been bothering you all day."

"It's nothing. It doesn't matter." he said to try and shake off the conversation.

"It clearly matters to you."

"It'll pass."

"Maybe you should try talking about it."

"I can talk to Rinoa."

"Then why haven't you?" Squall didn't answer. "Or maybe you have and it didn't help." he grinned mischievously. "Did you and Rinoa have a fight?"

Squall frowned across at the man. How could he go from being spot on to absolutely wrong in two seconds?

"You know," Laguna continued, "There's nothing wrong with arguing every now and then — all married couples do it. As long as you don't let it get in the way of your relationship-"

"Rinoa and I haven't been fighting." Squall said in a very measured tone.

"Then which is it?"

"What?"

"Do you need to talk to Rinoa or have you and it didn't help?"

"Rinoa is slightly biased in the matter," he threw at the other man in the hopes that that would be the end of it. Apparently, he'd forgotten that this was Laguna he was talking to.

"Well, maybe I can help."

"I'd rather not."

"Share and share alike. A burden shared is a burden halved and all of that."

Squall was beginning to wonder if this guy could take a hint. "I don't need to share my burden."

"Come on. I told you about my family life. You'll feel better afterwards." He wanted to snap back that he hadn't asked him to share his family history, but of course he had, or rather, he had pushed him into it. He'd really cornered himself in with that one. He'd been stupid and it fuelled his irritation. He gritted his teeth and replied.

"I doubt you can help."

"Why not?"

"Because you never went through with being a father."

Laguna looked as if Squall had leaned forward and slapped him across the face. He opened his mouth to say something but closed it immediately, shaking his head instead.

"That was uncalled for. I was only trying to help."

Squall knew that, and part of him did feel guilty about it, but he resented Laguna for pushing him so far. This was private and the man opposite him should have taken the hint.

Why should he talk about his worries with someone who had come into his life relatively recently?

So what if he didn't want to vocalise his fears?

Something else niggled at him though, not about his preoccupied mind but about Laguna. When he caught it and identified it, the realisation struck him hard and sent him reeling back into old habits. A large part of him wanted to tell Laguna.

When did he start becoming so comfortable with Laguna? They'd only started meeting ten weeks ago. He wasn't prepared for this. The cold fingers of fear and paranoia spread from his stomach at the apprehension of becoming closer to someone, and someone he wasn't sure he wanted to be becoming closer to at that. To make things worse, it was happening without him realising it, and that, more than anything scared him.

After this week, he'd had enough. He wanted out.

Squall suddenly stood up. "This isn't working."

Laguna looked up at him blankly. "What?"

"This, these meetings... I've had enough."

Turning on his heel, he marched out of the cafe, ignoring how Laguna scrambled with his wallet to throw down some money. Squall didn't wait for him, wanting to get away as quickly as possible. He turned down an alley, a shortcut out of the village. There was the rapid beat of footfalls indicating Laguna's return. The man was quicker than Squall had thought and felt the other man's hand on his bicep and spun him round.

"Squall, what is going on? What happened?"

"It has nothing to do with you." He tried to turn away but Laguna simply spun him round again, forcing Squall to face him.

"Like hell it doesn't." This was the closest to angry he'd ever seen Laguna be. "You've just suddenly walked out of this conversation, announcing that you've had enough. You've agreed to have these meetings in order to give me a chance. So I think I deserve an explanation."

"Why? So you can play father?"

Laguna shook his head. "I knew you were still angry."

Squall resisted the urge to give voice to the cry of frustration in his head. "I'm not."

"Then what's this all about?"

"Believe it or not, I don't care."

"Something is wrong. Otherwise, you wouldn't be fighting me so hard. I know you don't like getting close to people, but if you were really as indifferent to this as you claim, then you wouldn't be fighting me so strongly."

Squall jerked his arm back. "I don't care. I really don't because I value what I have now more than any possible future I _could _have had with you. I didn't need you when I was a child because I had Sis. Ellone was my sister and she was worth more to me than some phantom parent who was never there. But Ellone cared about you. She cared that you never came for her. I'm not angry that you never came for a son you didn't know you had, I'm pissed that you abandoned Ellone, especially after you followed her across the world to rescue her."

"Squall," Laguna began in a calming voice that annoyed Squall even more; it was like he was being patronised, "I've spoken to Elle about this and she's-"

"Fine?" Squall finished, "Of course she's fine! She could never hate you. No matter how much you hurt her she never hated you...."

(&)

_Squall ran round the edge of the orphanage, looking for his sister. He hadn't seen her for hours and none of the older children had either. He walked round the back of the large stone building and spotted Matron by the washing line, taking down several large white sheets. As he approached her, she looked back at him and smiled, hands still on the crisp, white material. _

_ "Hello Squall. What are you up to? Surely it's too cold to go down to the beach."_

_ "I'm looking for Sis."_

_ "You're looking for Ellone?"Squall nodded. "I think I saw her go down the beach path."_

_ Squall's face brightened. "Thank you Matron." he said and took off down the path that led to the beach._

_He pulled his jumper tighter around him as the cold sea wind blew, looking up at the grey sky. Why would Sis be at the beach? It wasn't warm or sunny and everyone else was inside where it was warm and cosy. He looked round for his sister, wanting to get inside as quickly as possible, spotting her on a large rock. Her knees were drawn up to her chest, chin resting on them as she stared out to sea._

"_Sis! Sis!" He pushed himself into a run till he came up behind her. "Sis, I've been looking everywhere for you."_

"_Go away."_

_Squall looked up, offended. "Sis?" He moved round till he could see her face clearly. Her cheeks were damp and her eyes were red. She didn't look down at him._

"_What's wrong?"_

"_I said go away. I don't want to play with you."_

"_But Sis, you're crying. Why are you crying?" He looked for a way to scramble up the rock so he could sit next to the girl. He tried reaching up for the hand hold that Ellone must have used, but not even the tips of his fingers could reach it. If only he was a little taller. Giving up, he stepped back so he could see her again. "You can tell me."_

_She remained quiet, always looking out towards the sea. His face twisted into a tiny scowl. Why wasn't Elle talking to him? She always talked to him, even if he didn't care about what she was talking about. _

"_Siiiiis-"_

"_He's not coming for me." Elle interrupted. "He always comes for me." she sniffed, fresh tears making their way down her cheeks. "I thought if I was good and waited that he'd come and find me." She was sobbing now. "Why hasn't he come to get me? What did I do wrong? Doesn't he love me anymore?" _

_Now Squall was just confused. He had no idea who she was talking about. How could he? The only man who came to the house regularly was Cid and he only left again yesterday. He smiled up at Elle, so sure that he knew how to make her feel better. "It's okay Elle. You still have me."_

_She spun round to face him. "I don't want you!" she shrieked. "I want Uncle Laguna and I want Raine and I want to be home with them and I don't want to be here!"_

_He stared up at her with wide eyes as she continued to rant. "And I could be if it wasn't for you. Now Uncle Laguna doesn't know where I am so he can't come and find me and Raine's dead, all because of you. It's all your fault. Now I have to live here, all because you were born."_

_He backed away from the girl, shaking his head. He didn't understand why she was so angry at him. His vision blurred with tears and he turned and ran. What had he done? He sped up the beach path towards the house. He didn't know anything she was talking about. Edea called to him as she ran past but he ignored her. He ran through the main house till he found himself in his room and slammed the door behind him. He crawled under his blanket, hiding away from the world. _

_He tried to understand what he'd done wrong but any solution escaped his mind, leaving him with the unbearable truth; Elle didn't want him, she wanted some stranger. She'd always been enough for him, his one anchor and security. Unfortunately, it looked as if he'd made the fatal mistake of assuming the feeling was mutual..._

_(&)_

...Squall finished his rant, breathing heavily. He stepped back from Laguna and his back hit the alley wall. He felt emotionally drained as he slid down the wall to sit at its base. It was as if that pent-up stress had left him once the words were spoken. There was a moment of silence in which Squall couldn't help but feel embarrassed about his outburst. There was the rustle of material as Laguna crouched down beside him. Squall avoided eye contact as the older man dug around in his bag. A water bottle appeared in front of him.

"Feeling better?" Laguna's voice came from his left.

Squall laughed, not really finding his comment funny. He nodded, accepting the water bottle and taking a deep sip. Yes, he did feel better; he hadn't expected to. In fact, he was expecting the opposite, but it wasn't in the 'lifting of a huge weight from his shoulders' sense.

"I know that no matter how much I apologize, I can never make it up to you and Elle. I put you both through a lot and it doesn't matter that it wasn't intentional. I can see why it would upset you that Elle forgives me so easily. I didn't realise quite how much I'd hurt you."

"I shouldn't have gotten so upset, it doesn't concern me."

"It matters what you think Squall." Laguna reached out to Squall's face but his reflexes kicked in and his head twitched away. Laguna took the hint and drew back his hand. "This affected you as much as it affected Elle. You're close to her so it's natural that you'd feel upset on her behalf, and," Laguna added sheepishly, "I probably shouldn't have pushed you so far. I guess I over estimated how far along we've come."

Squall nodded, not willing to disagree.

Laguna shifted and sat next to him so they sat side by side, backs against the wall. "I'm glad you told me about it though, I think I understand everything a little bit better now. I think things will get a little easier from here on in."

Squall didn't need to enquire as he knew what Laguna was talking about. It didn't feel as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders but rather as if a barrier had been removed between them — like something that had stopped their relationship from progressing into anything more than acquaintances. The air was clear between them and that seemed more important at the moment than any habitual fears he had.

"So," Laguna began nervously, "If you're feeling in an open mood; what's on your mind?"

Squall considered not telling him, but the pull from earlier returned and he didn't have the energy to resist it. What harm could one more comment do? He gazed down at his hands and the water bottle still grasped tightly in them.

"I can't be a father." he said quietly.

He could feel Laguna's surprised stare on him. "What do you mean?" Then a hint of caution entered his voice. "Squall, you're not-"

He suddenly realised what Laguna was getting at and cut in with, "I'm not running away from this." The mere idea that Laguna thought he would was enough to make him a little annoyed. He'd never abandon Rinoa. "I just...." he trailed off, uncertain how to finish. He tried again. "I don't know how to do this."

There was a hint of a smile in Laguna's voice. "I don't think anyone does. We just make it up as we go along, learning from our mistakes as much as the children do."

"But most people have a basis to work from."

"It's not always a good one."

"They can still learn from it and," he paused for a moment, getting to the real heart of the matter, "I'm not a good example for anyone to follow."

"I disagree."

Of course he would say that. What else would he say? 'Bugger me, you're right! What the hell were you thinking?' Not likely.

"When we arranged to have these meetings, you told me that you had already achieved more than most people do in several lifetimes. That hasn't changed."

"They're not the kind of achievements that set a great example to children."

"You saved the world," Laguna exclaimed, "and not just in the present but the past and the future as well. You can't get much better than that."

"My livelihood depends on killing people."

"So does an army."

"They don't make a profit from it."

"But you do other things like...." he looked for an example, "help people defend their land or rescue hostages."

Oh yes, he thought bitterly, he got involved in petty conflicts and tortured people for information, another skill to add to his peachy list.

"You have more to offer than your job. You're more than just a SeeD."

He had more to offer? Like what? A depressing past and an uncertain future? He didn't even know what to do with a kid.

His silence seemed to imply what he was feeling as Laguna tried a new tack. "If you're that worried about it then leave Garden."

Leave Garden. Oh, he'd thought about it, but never for long. What would he do? Where would he go? Garden was his home and had been for almost as long as he could remember. He didn't know how to live any other way and, as twisted and messed up as it was, loved Garden. It was his home, his family and he wasn't ready to change that. Not yet.

"And do what?"

Laguna was silent. It was a good point. It wasn't as if either of them could see him working in Cloud's shop and he couldn't be jobless; he'd go insane.

"I don't think there's anything I can say to make this better, is there?"

"No, there isn't." He did appreciate the other man's honesty though.

The commander handed back the water bottle and Laguna continued to talk. "I think you're just having cold feet, but I think you need time to realise that you will be a good father, and no matter what you think, you _will_ be a good father Squall." The last part was said with such stern affection that he couldn't help the slight pull of a smile at the corner of his lips. It made the guilt rear its ugly head though, pointing out what an arse he'd been earlier. He couldn't ignore it.

As Laguna stood, Squall swallowed and prepared to do something he rarely needed to do; apologize.

"I'm sorry." He finally looked up and wished he hadn't. The look of surprise on the older man's face was just embarrassing.

The president finally shook off the shock and rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Don't worry about it. I was actually going to thank you."

Squall looked at him flatly. "For exploding at you?"

"Well yeah." Laguna dropped his hand and offered it to Squall. "Because," he continued, grinning in that very foolish Laguna manner, "Now we can move on."

End of Drifting

Okay, just a quick note. I do realise that a lot of people will not be happy with the way Ellone is shown in this but do bear in mind that we are talking about a child who is no older than 8, and children are selfish little buggers. This is a child who's just realised that her knight in shining armour isn't going to be coming for her this time. Also, we know that Ellone was a bit of a brat as a little kid; anyone remember the jam incident? Besides, siblings fight all the time. You should have heard some of the fights me and my siblings got into when we were younger.


	12. The Mission

**The Mission**

Laguna shifted the box that he held under one arm and knocked on Squall's door. Well, he hoped it was Squall's door anyway. He'd never actually been here before and he never really expected to. The only reason he was meeting his son here was because of the box under his arm. It was easier all round for him to drop the box off before their meeting than to make Squall carry it back from Balamb. So, here he was. He wasn't entirely sure that Squall would be interested in the contents but Elle had suggested it and there was no harm in lending them to the younger man. The door soon opened and Squall appeared before him.

"I brought the box." Laguna lifted up the object to show him.

Squall simply nodded and stepped aside for him to come inside. "Just put it on the table and I'll get my jacket." Then he disappeared into his room, leaving Laguna to deposit the box.

Since Squall's outburst, things had been easier between them with the commander no longer unconsciously fighting against Laguna. Both men had settled back into the swing of the meetings, which had become pleasantly relaxed. His son was now dealing with them a lot better and he didn't seem to mind them anymore. In fact, if Laguna didn't know any better, he'd suspect that the younger man was even enjoying them.

Smiling contently, he shoved his hands in his pockets and looked round the room as he waited. His eyes fell on a couple of boxes to the side of the room, beside another door. Strolling over, he peered down at the boxes just as Squall entered the room. Seeing what had caught the president's attention, the young man answered the silent question.

"Cribs for the twins; they arrived this morning." He shrugged into his jacket.

Laguna straightened. "When are you going to build them?"

Squall shrugged. "I wasn't," he replied, stepping towards the front door.

"You're not?"

When Squall realised that the older man wasn't following, he turned back round. "I'll pay a student to do it. Are we going?"

Laguna didn't move. "But you're supposed to make them yourself."

The commander seemed confused by his dismay. "I don't have time."

"You have time today. We can make them together."

Squall looked uncertain. "The cafe-"

"It's not as if we have reservations," Laguna cut off, growing increasing taken by this idea.

"I don't know how to make a crib," Squall tried to argue, but something in his tone implied that he knew it was pointless to argue.

"That's why they come with instructions," the president declared, knowing that he was already victorious. He grabbed one of the boxes, starting to push it into the empty soon-to-be nursery, and grinned up at the younger man. "Squall Leonhart — your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to help me build the cribs."

The man in question gave him a look that quite clearly stated that he thought he was an idiot. However, he didn't say anything which just went to show that things really were improving between the two of them.

"Shouldn't it be the other way round?"

Laguna shrugged, not perturbed by his response. "Then you make the coffee and I'll start unpacking."

He caught the commander pinching the bridge of his nose and couldn't resist the grin spreading across his face.

'Fine' was Squall's resigned response as he shrugged out of his jacket, throwing it on the couch as he made his way into the kitchen.

His grin triumphant, Laguna positioned the box in the centre of the room and, much like a child on his birthday, tore open the box and gazed upon the wonders inside. Spotting the instructions, he picked them up and, before finishing the first page, put them back down again. He'd always sucked at following instructions; one of the many reasons the army life style never suited him. He could fight in the Timber conflict or he could go see Julia play in Galbadia. He had the same problem with cooking — four lines in and he was bored so he just made it up. However, unlike the army, Laguna could cook and he could cook damn well.

Squall entered the room and handed his guest one of the mugs in his hand. Taking a small sip he hissed, "Hot!"

Squall gave him one of those 'well-duh' looks, not that Squall would ever say 'well-duh'; he was more of a straight forward 'moron' guy. Laguna did note one thing, well, two actually, of interest. The first was that from the small taste he'd had of his drink, he noted that his coffee had the right amount of milk and sugar. He supposed it was a testament to how many times they'd had coffee together. Undoubtedly it was just the result of SeeD training but there was something nice about Squall knowing just how he took his coffee. It was like they were family.

The second point—

"The Balamb Garden Logo?" Laguna raised an eyebrow at the mug's design. "I need to buy you a new set of mugs. Just don't tell me it's on the plates and cutlery as well."

"Only the formal set," Squall replied, setting his own mug down and taking a seat beside it.

Laguna honestly didn't know if he was joking or not. Nearly four months down the line and he still couldn't catch on to when Squall was joking. Though in his defence, it wasn't as if it was a regular occurrence with the SeeD. He was a serious young man, just like Raine had been. Well, the serious part, not the man part.

He was likely to have new mugs soon anyway. Laguna could just see it now — the famous SeeD commander, sitting at his desk, sipping from a 'World's Best Dad' mug.

"What?" Squall's voice chased away the priceless image and Laguna realised that he was grinning.

He shook his head. "Nothing."

His companion didn't look as if he believed a word of it, but he didn't pursue the matter. Instead, he picked up the instructions.

"It doesn't look difficult," Squall said, scanning over the page. "It should be quick and easy."

"You've never done this before have you?"

In Laguna's experience, these things were never quick and easy. In fact, if experience was anything to go by, after fifteen minutes, one wouldn't know where 'Slot A' was and why it wouldn't fit with 'Tab C', what the hell the difference between 'Screw B' and 'Screw D' was and why, oh why, by the end of it all did it look more like a model of the presidential palace than a set of shelves. Kiros claimed this was a problem he alone had, something about not reading instructions properly...

"I've done it at the orphanage. We all helped Matron put together some new beds."

"How did that go?"

Squall actually grimaced; a sign that this was sure to be a good story...

_ "Sis! Squall!" Little Quistis latched onto Squall's hand. "Come help us. Come on." _

_She pulled the boy to one of the empty rooms. Well, it had been empty earlier that day, but now inside laid the remains of several boxes that had been ripped apart and their contents dispersed across the room. Planks of wood, screws and tools covered the floor with the odd child between them. At the head of the room sat Edea._

_ "What's going on?" Squall looked up at Ellone as she spoke._

_ Edea smiled across at them. "Our family is getting bigger and bigger and as it does, we need more and more beds. Everyone here has kindly offered to help me put together the new ones we received today."_

_ Seifer's expression told another story. One of how he would rather be anywhere else but here and he certainly wasn't here of his own free will. Judging by the way Quistis sat down next to him, said will was hers. On one side of Edea was Zell, looking overly excited as he was almost bouncing up and down with enthusiasm in the spot he sat. On the other side of Edea sat Selphie, who was leaning forward and reaching for the hammer as Irvine watched her. A few of the older children were also present in the room and Ellone quickly went to sit with her friends, Squall in tow. _

_ "So," Edea continued, plucking the hammer that Selphie had managed to get her hands on out of the girl's reach, much to Selphie's dismay, "Shall we begin?"_

_ They soon discovered that their first mistake was unpacking all the boxes at once. Not a good move, especially when one contained a bunk bed. All of the planks had quickly become mixed up along with the screws. They would soon discover their vital mistake._

_ "Right, so first we need 'Plank A'."_

_ There was a scramble as everyone looked for 'Plank A.' Edea had to tell Squall and Ellone's group to stop working on the bunk bed because it didn't follow the same instructions. She was promptly ignored, the oldest children wanting to work on the biggest bed. Seifer had claimed all of the 'Plank A's he could find and refused to let Zell have any, no matter how much the younger boy pleaded or Quistis ordered. Irvine victoriously found one which would later turn out to be one for the bunk beds, not the single beds he was working on with Zell and another boy. All the while, Selphie was trying to get the hammer from Edea's grasp. _

_ "Seifer," Edea said in her eternally-calm voice, Selphie semi-hanging from the hammer in the Matron's hands, "Why don't you collect all the planks and screws and sort them into piles for us. Then you can hand them out when people need them."_

_ Seifer's eye lit up at the responsibility. He quickly leapt up, his previous hoard forgotten and went about collecting materials from around the room. Zell quickly claimed his own plank. _

_ "Matron," Selphie whined, "I wanna have the hammer."_

_ "No Selphie; it's dangerous."_

_ "But I wanna hit the screws n' stuff. Pleeease Matron."_

_ Matron didn't even bother correcting her about hitting screws. "If you're good then you can _help_ me later. Now, why don't _you_ go help Quistis." It wasn't a suggestion._

_ Not satisfied, but willing to obey, the spunky girl made her way back to her peer._

_ "Next, take 'Post A,'" Edea finally managed to continue. _

_ Again, there was a half-scramble, half-race as each group-come-team tried to find 'Post A' much to Seifer's annoyance as he had yet to finish sorting everything into different piles. He started yelling 'chicken-wuss' at Zell after he kicked a pile of screws across the room. Now Seifer had to pick them all up again. _

_Five minutes down the line, the teams each had a 'Plank A' and a 'Post A' each, as well as a couple of 'Screw A's and each team proceeded to screw the two planks together. Zell turned out to be rather good at this but unfortunately, one of the screws that Irvine had picked was completely wrong. So while it may have looked right, it wobbled dreadfully. It didn't help that the post and plank were from two different beds. Quistis and Selphie were successful once they had reversed roles and Selphie was holding the post and planks in place, insisting that it would have worked better if Matron had just let her use the hammer. _

_ Eventually another post was added as well as two 'Plank B's which went at the top and bottom of the beds, leaving them with a large, and occasionally wonky, U-shaped structure. _

_ "Okay children, do you see the slots in 'Plank A'?" All the children looked and, seeing a series of slots running along the inside of 'Plank A' at regular intervals, nodded. "We need to put some 'Plank C's into these slots. You need to put some glue into the bottom of the slots and make sure the beam goes right to the bottom because these are going to be the beams that we put the mattress onto."_

_ Irvine and Zell struggled, trying to get the beams in while keeping the bed the right way up, refusing to turn it upside down to make it easier for themselves. So the two boys and their friend balanced the bed while trying to hold the beams into place. The task was made easier after Edea joined them, to the shouts of 'cheater' from the other teams. Having four members in their group, Squall and Ellone found this task very easy. The three eldest tipped the bed on its side and worked from each end towards the centre in pairs to glue the pieces in. However, they did wonder why some pieces were far longer than others. _

_Selphie didn't have the patience to wait for the glue to dry. She held the beam for a second or two before running off to get the next one, leaving Quistis to grab the beam before it fell to the ground. The little blonde was often holding two posts at once while Selphie squirted copious amounts of glue into the next slot, who then tried to steady the beam into said slot, causing the beam to crash to the floor more often than not. _

_All this was watched over by the lord protector of all the material; Seifer, who sat by his duty in a more than slightly smug manner. _

_Somewhere along the way, Selphie had become bored with the task and had run off with a cry of 'mouse!' Whether she had seen a mouse or that she felt this was an important fact that needed to be stated remained a mystery. This left Quistis to struggle alone, trying to hold more things than she had hands. Eventually a boy in Squall's group, Joshua he believed, took pity on the frustrated girl and went to help her. _

_They finally managed to get the second 'Plank B' into place, lining up the slots to the beams and screwing it in. He supposed that this was when the problems really started to show. Zell and Irvine found that they didn't have enough of the right screws for their bed, so Zell tried claiming that Seifer had lost some of the screws — this lead to a series of exchanges between the two boys which resulted in Zell's retreat from the room. Quistis leapt up to try and force Seifer to apologize to which his witty retort was 'stupid Quistis.' Irvine rushed in, eager to try out a new trick he'd learnt._

"_I know you are. I know you are, but what am I?" _

"_Stupid!" Seifer repeated._

"_I know you are. I know you are, but what am I?"_

"_Stupid!" _

_And on went the cycle until Edea stepped in before Seifer could lose his temper and use some of those new words that he'd heard the older kids say. She told Seifer that he would have to apologise after they were finished. Turning to Irvine, she pointed out that it didn't really matter that they couldn't put the final plank on because they could hardly expect someone to sleep in a bed that wobbled and tilted because the sides didn't match. The child would always be falling out of bed if they slept in it. She added that in spite of that, was a very good effort and they did very well. _

_ Quistis and Joshua weren't idle during this time. Before leaping to Zell's defence, Quistis and he had screwed the last plank into place, though most of the screws weren't in straight or didn't fit properly. After Edea had stepped into the Irvine and Seifer's banter, the girl had returned to her partner only to have it pointed out that most of the beams didn't stretch the width of the bed. They quickly grabbed a mattress, tugging it on top and following the age-old belief that if the problem couldn't be seen then it didn't exist. _

_Squall's group had improvised after Zell had taken their other 'Plank B' — they had taken a 'Plank D' from the upper bunk only to find that they couldn't fit it onto the bed. It not only lacked the appropriate slots, but they also found some of the longer beams preventing them from slipping it in correctly, which was when they discovered that the bunk beds were thinner than the other bed. This meant that they were missing one side of the bed. Edea pointed out that if they were making a bunk bed then they probably should have followed the bunk bed instructions instead._

_Edea smiled at her gathered children. "Thank you very much for your help everyone." _

_The children beamed up at her, blissfully unaware that 'help' probably wasn't the right word for what they had done. _

"_Though I think I may have to do a little touching up," she began, avoiding mentioning that there were still several parts of the bed that they hadn't added yet, "you've all done such a wonderful job and you've been such a big-"_

_She was cut off by a large squeal. "Ya've finished!" Selphie dashed past her friends, launching herself onto her and Quistis's bed. She landed heavily on the mattress and there was a loud snap as the beams broke. The mattress fell through to the floor. Selphie sat with a dumb look of surprise on her face. A second later, the wonky screws came fully lose with the force of Selphie's landing and the planks fell outwards, hitting the ground with a loud 'thunk.' There was a moment of silence in which Selphie recovered from her shock. She turned to a distraught Quistis. _

"_Ya bed's broken Quisty..."_

Laguna was bent over with laughter, screwdriver hanging useless in one hand. He'd forgotten how much fun young children could be. Oh they could be bratty and a pain as well, but they were also bloody funny at times. He couldn't wait for his grandchildren to be born. The thought that Squall may decide that he didn't want Laguna in his life helped to sober him enough to ask the next question.

"So what happened to the beds?"

Squall gave a small shrug. "I'm not sure. They were prefect the next day. She probably used magic or sorcery."

Laguna felt a twinge of interest. "Did she use it a lot?"

Squall was quiet for a moment as he thought. "We never saw her, or knew, but she ran an orphanage practically alone, so she must have been using it."

"You were never curious?"

"We just thought she could do anything. Sometimes Cid would do something, but otherwise we assumed she knew how to do everything and could do it." A ghost of smile played over his features, not so much on his lips but in his eyes, as he remembered his childhood naivety, or perhaps of a simpler time in his life. A small smile of his own appeared on Laguna's lips and he turned back to the cot. He frowned.

"Erm, Squall?"

Squall looked up from the instructions. "What?"

Laguna shot him a nervous grin. "I think this is screwed in back-to-front."

**End of The Mission**


	13. Never Look Back

**Never Look Back**

President Loire wasn't what General Caraway was expecting. He was many things, but none of them were the qualities he would have expected to find in one of the world's most powerful men. True, they had both crossed paths earlier in their lives, but it was so long ago and for such a short moment that the only memory he had of the occasion in Julia's bar was vague and brief.

When he and his daughter had arrived at her apartment, they had found Laguna and Squall in the nursery, finishing off the second crib. Rinoa had promptly introduced the two fathers after a brief inquiry as to whether the cribs were actually safe to use. Laguna hadn't bothered to rise as he smiled in a rather…well, foolish manner and leapt straight into a first name basis. It threw the general off. Uncertain of how to proceed, Caraway stuck with what he knew, ranks and hierarchy, but as soon as the word 'president' had left his mouth, Laguna had brushed it aside with a, 'I don't like being called president all the time.' He was just thankful that he was good at hiding his surprise. Though he would give this to the other man — Laguna did have a firm handshake; a good sign in Caraway's books.

When Rinoa had invited the president to join the three of them for dinner, he had looked hopefully to Squall. Almost like a child looking to their parent for permission to attend a sleepover they'd just been invited to. So now that they sat together, a good meal in their stomachs and sipping wine as they listened to Rinoa play her mother's, now tuned, piano.

She looked so much like Julia at times like these. Just a little rounder in the face and perhaps Julia had also had a slightly slimmer frame. Though her mother had played better, but this was only to be expected as she had been a professional musician while Rinoa played for pleasure. She did play well enough to give others enjoyment through hearing her however.

She finished the last few bars of the piece and Laguna applauded, praising her playing. The president was so different to Squall it was hard to believe that they were so closely related. He'd almost have an easier time believing that he was actually Rinoa's father. Hell, he'd almost have an easier time believing that Squall and Rinoa had been switched at birth. It was easy to see why Squall found it hard to accept Laguna as a father figure. However, that wasn't to say that they didn't have similarities; they just choose to manifest themselves in different ways in each man.

"Dad?"

Fury was interrupted by his daughter and realised that everyone was watching him, waiting for a response.

"I'm sorry," he'd had to get used to saying that quickly when dealing with his daughter again, "It's good to hear you play again."

She smiled at him and he knew that he'd said the right thing.

"Well, the room for the twins is well under way," Laguna started after no one spoke for a second, making Caraway wonder if this man had a secret fear of silence, "but what about a name for the second twin?"

The expecting parents shared a look and Rinoa spoke. "Ami for a girl."

"Gale and Ami Leonhart..." Laguna tested the names together, nodding in approval. Fury had to admit that he had to agree with Laguna, that the names worked well together. Gale Leonhart had strength in it while Ami Leonhart seemed wonderfully soft in comparison, though, knowing her parents, she would be anything but soft. Yes, there was a good balance in the names.

"What about a boy's name?" Laguna pushed.

"We haven't decided yet."

Laguna thought about it, trying names with Gale to see how they worked every now and then. The general found himself imitating the president, though only making very sporadic suggestions. While Gale and Fury Caraway had worked well, damn well in his opinion, they could hardly just recycle the combination. However, Gale was a hard name to work with.

Gale and Tomas? No, that sounded dreadful…

Gale and Richard? No, that sounded wrong as well, though he had to admit that he liked the sound of Richard Leonhart. It sounded as if it should be the name of some heroic king…

Gale and Jareth? Now that didn't sound too bad at all. Pity it was the name of a fictional character from Rinoa's favourite childhood film…

"How did you choose my name?" his daughter's voice drifted from beside the piano.

"Your mother suggested it and I liked it." Unfortunately that was it, not a very exciting story at all.

"What was I going to be called if I was a boy?"

"Noah." Julia had been very partial to the name so, when she came up with Rinoa, he suspected that she had just made up a female version of the name other than Noa. Nevertheless, it sounded good and he liked it.

He looked up at Laguna. "Why Squall?"

As soon as he saw Rinoa wince he remembered why this was such an inappropriate question. The room became very awkward.

Laguna rubbed the back of his neck. "Raine didn't know she was pregnant until sometime after I left to find Elle. I didn't know she'd had a son till it was far too late. So, I don't really know why she chose Squall."

"Do you regret it?"

"Dad!" Rinoa hissed.

Oh, he knew he overstepped a line and that he really shouldn't put a man with Laguna's power in an awkward situation, especially with talks between Galbadia and Esthar coming up, but the other man really didn't seem like the type to lash out. He was curious to know if the man who'd brought an end to the sorceress war regretted being there in the first place. He'd also be lying if he said that a small part of him wasn't relieved that there was someone who had failed at being a father more than him. Though this was largely dampened by the knowledge that Laguna had failed through no fault of his own — Caraway had.

He would have apologised and moved on if Squall showed any objection, vocal or otherwise. Instead, the young man turned to Laguna, awaiting an answer. Fury had to wonder if this was a question that had been on Squall's mind as well, but for whatever reason, had never asked.

"It's okay Rinoa." Laguna dropped his hand. "I regret not being there when Squall was born. I look back and curse myself for not going home with Elle. If I had I could have been with Raine when she died and taken Squall and Elle back to Esthar with me. But looking back, I don't think I could have changed anything. Without knowing that Raine was expecting, there was no reason for me to follow Elle. Even if I had known, I'm not sure if it would have changed anything. I mean, I couldn't have just abandoned her. I guess I just would have made sure that I went back to Winhill on time with her. No point thinking about it now though. I can't put things right in the past, but I can put them right in the present."

Caraway nodded and for the first time this evening, he could catch a glimpse of why Laguna was president and how he'd stayed in power for so long.

No doubt hoping to lighten the atmosphere, Rinoa stood, but she had barely been on her feet a few seconds when she let out a heavy 'ooo' and steadied herself with a hand on the piano. Her eyes slid shut and she rested her other hand on her swollen belly.

"Rinoa, are you alright?" Caraway was immediately on his feet, shortly followed by the other men.

Squall felt his own tingle of nerves, which was silly really; this had happened before. It wasn't going to be anything dangerous, probably just an overly zealous baby.

The woman slid her eyes open to see three very concerned men looking at her. She giggled.

"Nothing to worry about, it's just a particularly strong kick." Then a wicked grin spread across her face. "At ease men, the danger has been averted." She shook her head and looked down as she caressed her sizable belly. "Hey you two, play nice in there."

Squall felt himself relax, knowing that it would be something like this and yet he couldn't help the rising concern when it happened. If he got panicky over this then how would he cope when the kids were out? At least it had defused the last conversation. While he was interested to know what Laguna would say and it all made sense, he even approved of it, though being spoken about almost as if he wasn't there was somewhat disconcerting.

His wife looked up at Laguna. "Want to feel the babies kicking?"

Laguna's eyes went wide. "You don't mind?"

She smiled at him. "Of course not." She turned to her father. "Dad?"

Caraway hesitated before standing and taking his place beside the crouching Laguna.

"Whoa, that's…amazing. I can really feel them kicking."

He looked like a little child, overly excited by such a simple thing. At least Squall had dealt with the situation with a little more decorum…at least he thought he had.

Suddenly a sharp, happy tune cut through the air. Laguna rocked back on his feet and drew out his phone from his trouser pocket. They all looked down at the words 'President's Office' clearly written across the screen. Squall wondered for a moment why Laguna had his own office on his phone before realising that it was probably for moments like these. This, worryingly enough, must have meant that they happened quite frequently.

Laguna looked at it and hung up. Beside him, General Caraway's eyes went wide in disbelief. Squall could imagine that he didn't look much better. He couldn't believe it. The man had just hung up on his own office without even bothering to check what it was about. That was just beyond irresponsible. What would Caraway think? He pinched the bridge of nose, wishing away the swelling embarrassment.

"Shouldn't you have answered that?" he said in a steady tone.

"Nah. It's probably just Kiros and he should be able to deal with anything that comes up. Besides, if it is important, he'll just ring again."

….Should be able to deal with anything….he'll ring again if it's important….? Surely he should answer the phone!

The phone rang again and looking down again he saw 'President's Office' flash back onto the screen.

Laguna frowned back down at the object in his hands. "Hmmm, guess it is important." He looked up at his host. "Is there anywhere-"

"Our room," Squall cut in, grateful that he was going to answer the phone this time.

Laguna nodded and disappeared into the bedroom. The door closed shortly afterwards and the ringtone disappeared. There was an awkward silence in which Squall tried to think of something to say beyond, 'sorry, Laguna's a bit of an idiot.'

Rinoa slid back onto the piano stool. "I hope nothing bad has happened."

They didn't have to wait long. Laguna soon reappeared, pocketing the phone.

"Is everything alright?" Rinoa asked.

"Yes, well, not quite. It's a little thing, I can probably sort most of it out on the flight, but I need to go back now. Thank you for the invitation Rinoa, I had a wonderful evening and dinner was great."

Squall moved to show him out, but Laguna waved a dismissive hand. "I can find my own way out. Don't think our next meeting is cancelled though. I'll see you next week. Goodnight everyone." And he grabbed his coat and left.

"He seemed like he was in a hurry," Rinoa observed. "Do you think it really is just a little thing?"

"He didn't seem worried," her father pointed out.

Squall nearly snorted. "He never does."

But he supposed that it seemed to have worked in Laguna's favour this time. Laguna could be harder to read at times then Squall would have ever given him credit for.

**End of Never Look Back**


	14. Maybe I'm a Lion

**Maybe I'm a Lion**

Squall was experiencing one of those rare, completely peaceful and pleasant moments in his life - a pleasant evening with his friends. It hadn't been planned as it was a complete accident. He had come down to the cafeteria to pick up something to eat. Normally, he'd head straight back to his apartment but he had a nagging feeling that there would be little there. Besides, it had been late and he was very hungry.

The cafeteria had been mostly empty, containing only a few late eaters, but tucked away in one corner was Rinoa. She sat with Irvine and Quistis, engaged in a little bit of small talk. It wasn't long before Zell joined them, slipping in to get some food just before the cafeteria closed up for the evening and left them on their own. After all, who's going to throw out the commander and his friends? As curfew came and went, Selphie appeared, looking for her lost lover. Since then, the gang had sat together, enjoying each other's company as they talked, drinking a little from the bottles that Irvine had produced from nowhere.

Selphie had stolen Squall's phone in order to put her new number in when, to everyone's surprise, it rang. It wasn't so much the fact that it had rang; it was how it had rang. Rather than the usual monotone rings, a happy little tune was heard. Everyone turned to give him the strangest looks while Squall looked blankly at the said phone. Selphie grinned and looked up at him.

"It's Laguna," she announced.

Squall frowned. "How d-"

She flipped the phone round so he, and the rest of the table, could see the screen.

Above the flashing number was Laguna's name in bold. Again, this in itself wasn't so bad — what was happened to be the small dancing cartoon…Laguna? Laguna had somehow downloaded a cartoon version of himself to dance on the screen whenever he rang Squall's phone. The commander stared at the device.

Rinoa giggled and he snapped out of his daze. Reaching over, the commander snatched the phone out of Selphie's hand. He hit the green button and held the phone to his ear.

"When did you put your number on my phone?"

His greeting was met by shakes of heads and frowns from his friends. Laguna, however, was not so put out.

"Last week," he cheerfully stated. "I'm surprised it took you so long to notice." There was a pause. "You're not too mad are you?"

He resisted the urge to sigh. "It's annoying."

He could tell the man had just shrugged. "I thought it was very me."

Squall bit his tongue on the reply, dying to get out, choosing another one instead. "Why did you call?"

"Oh yeah! I can't make it tomorrow. That little thing has turned into a bigger thing, which means that I'm kinda tied down here for the moment."

Squall frowned. "It isn't too big?" He ignored his friends' concerned looks.

"Oh no," Laguna exclaimed, "Just enough to keep me grounded, but thanks for the concern."

Squall paused before saying, "I suppose you'd like to rearrange for another day then?"

"I'm afraid that I don't think that will be possible. We'll just have to wait till next week."

"I see." He was surprised by the slight stirrings of disappointment in him. He never really expected to find himself enjoying these exchanges and little glimpses into the past. He supposed part of it was knowing that he came from somewhere. That he didn't just appear out of thin air at the orphanage one day. He had parents and they had a history, background and memories. It was something that he never really thought he ever cared about, but it was comforting, in a way, to know there was more to him than just the Garden.

"Squall?" Laguna sounded curious, "Are you disappointed?"

He considered denying it, but stopped himself from doing so — it seemed pointless and petty. "A little, I guess."

Dammit, he swore he could hear the man grinning. "Glad to hear I'm being missed," he joked. "I'll do my best not to let you down next week then. Oh, gotta go." And the line went dead.

Squall hit the little red button to hang up on his end as well, still taken aback by how much regret he felt.

"Cancelled your date then?" It was Zell.

Squall looked up, putting the phone down. "Yeah, he's busy in Esthar."

In his defence, the regret may have also have come from a slightly more practical motive. He'd never really tried to actively recall his past, but by talking to Laguna, he was forced to remember and sort them back into place. Of course, some memories were just lost and no amount of trying would change that. However, he was beginning to remember little things that he never thought he would. Little details like Selphie running from the beds shouting, 'mouse!' Come to think about that, he still had no idea what that was about. He didn't even remember anyone being particularly surprised by it. But then, it was Selphie he was thinking about.

"Squall?" He blinked and saw everyone looking out at him in a now familiar fashion and he realised that he'd 'spaced-out,' as Rinoa put it.

"It's nothing," he said, hoping to head them off.

"That makes me more curious," Quistis teased. "What kind of nothing would get you so deep in thought?"

For the second time that evening, he considered brushing the matter to the side but inside decided to be honest. Maybe it was the alcohol putting him more in conversational mood.

"Do you remember trying to build beds at the orphanage?"

Again, he was on the receiving end of several strange looks, no one expecting this turn in the conversation. Soon Irvine and Selphie were grinning, shortly followed by Zell. Quistis took longer to react, and then it was still uncertain, perhaps through the desire to forget how Selphie had destroyed 'her' bed. He took this as an indication to continue.

"Was there any reason for you running from the room shouting 'mouse?'"

Selphie grinned. "Don't you remember that the orphanage had mice…?"

…_Edea had kept everyone after dinner, giving out the news that the orphanage had mice. Selphie's hand shot up immediately._

"_Yes Selphie?"_

_ "Are we getting a cat?"_

_ There was a whispered excitement that rippled through the room. _

_ "No, we're not getting a cat." Edea ignored the cries of disappointment. "Now, what we will- yes Selphie?"_

_The girl put her hand down. "Are we getting more than one cat?"_

_Matron shook her head. "No, we are not getting any cats. As I was saying…Selphie, is it important?"_

_The upbeat girl nodded. "Please can we get a cat? Pretty Pleeease?" _

_Her plea was joined by several other orphans. _

_Edea's smile became more fixed. "We're not getting any cats."_

_Selphie's hand shot up again but Edea didn't let her speak. "All questions will wait till after I've finished and _none _are to be about cats."_

_Selphie only looked mildly put out, frowning slightly, but her hand remained firmly in the air. Edea ignored her. _

"_I can't have anyone come to deal with them till the end of the month. In the meantime, I'll be putting mouse traps down around the house." she began very seriously, fixing them all with a very stern look. "These mouse traps are VERY dangerous so NO ONE, except me or an assistant are allowed to touch them. No one. I find out anyone has gone near them or touched them, they will be in a lot of trouble. Am I clear?"_

_The children nodded seriously, accompanied by a chorus of 'Yes Matron.' They all knew that tone of voice and to take it very seriously. Selphie nodded along with the rest, her hand still waving in the air. _

"_Any questions?"_

_Selphie shook her hand, stretching it as far as it would go. As no other hands shot into the air, she turned to look at Selphie. _

"_Does this have anything to do with cats?"_

_The brunette shook her head before speaking. "Can I keep 'em if I catch 'em?"_

_Edea looked puzzled, but Seifer cut in. "NO! We're not having mice."_

_Edea stepped beside the little girl and crouched down to her height. "Selphie, these aren't pet mice, they're wild. You can't just-"_

"_I'll be the cat!" Selphie interrupted. Edea blinked in confusion and Selphie continued. "I'll be the orphanage cat and I'll catch all the mice." _

"_A wonderful idea Selphie, but you're not a cat."_

"_Meow."_

_The woman gave the girl a very tolerant smile. "Very good."_

"_Meow, meow, meooooooooooooooow." She lifted her hand in paw like manner, pretended to lick the back and clean an imaginary ear. _

"_Selphie's a cat!" Irvine cried and started stroking his friend's head. _

"_Purr purr."_

_Edea sighed._

_(&)_

_ She was a cat- a vicious and dangerous cat, stalking her prey. Selphie made her way around the bedroom on all fours in what her mind's eye saw as a very cat-like manner. She flattened herself face against the floor and peeking under the chest of drawers. No mice there. She moved onto, well under, the bed. Selphie sighed in a very un-catish manner. This was harder that she thought it would be._

_ "Any mice Selphie-cat?" Irvine asked from where he sat cross-legged on the bed, his roommate Zell beside him. _

_ Selphie crawled back out. Sitting in front of the bed she shook her head, adding a meow for good measure. _

_ "Thank you for checking Selphie-cat."_

_ She nodded. "Meow."_

_ The door suddenly burst open and a flustered Seifer flew into the room. "There's a mouse in my room!"_

_ Zell laughed, singing, "Seifer's afraid of mice! Seifer's afraid of mice!"_

_ "Am not!" Seifer shouted, going red in a way that indicated that he quite clearly was. _

_ Selphie ignored the continuing argument, scrambling out of the room on all fours as quickly as she could. She crawled down the corridor, but it really wasn't very fast. She looked round the hallway to check that it was empty. It was. She stood and ran to the door she knew belonged to Seifer. The door was ajar, so she fell back to her hands and knees, pushing the door wide open with the back of her hand. As it swung open she crawled inside. _

_ It was a three person bedroom. Along one wall was Seifer's bed, the area around it littered with clothes and personal items. The middle bed was empty, the older boy absent from the room. Along the far wall was Squall's bed, the boy in question currently sat on top of it, looking rather miserable._

_ Selphie's attention was caught by a sudden movement, right under Seifer's bed. She grinned as a white mouse dashed out from underneath. Scuttling forward, she made a grab for the mouse, only to dramatically miss. The mouse vanished under the middle bed and she threw herself after it. Her hand shot out and this time her fingers enclosed around the mouse's tail. The small creature struggled as she pulled it back, backing out from under the bed. _

_ "Don't worry Mr. Mouse. I only eat sugar mice."_

_ She straightened, poking her head over the bed and caught sight of Squall. Holding up the wriggling animal, she cried out, "Look Squall! Selphie-cat caught a mouse."_

_ Squall didn't respond and the girl shrugged; he'd probably just had a fight with sis or something. She opened the pocket in the front of her dungarees and deposited the mouse inside before zipping it closed again, careful to leave a little gap for the mouse to breathe out of. The mouse wriggled inside and climbed up to the hole, pressing its nose against the small gap and trying to escape. Selphie giggled and jogged back to the other boy's room._

_ The boys stopped arguing when the grinning girl re-entered the room. _

_ "Did you get rid of it?" Seifer automatically demanded._

_ Selphie nodded, unzipping her pocket and shoving her hand inside. "Say hello to Whitey." She pulled out the just-named-mouse, thrusting it into Seifer's face._

_ The boy yelped and leapt back, running from the room._

_ The spunky girl frowned, turning the mouse to face her. "That wasn't very nice, now was it Whitey?"_

_ Zell came bouncing up to her. "Hey Selphie, can I borrow Whitey….?"_

…Zell leaned back, resting his hands behind his head and grinned broadly. "I had fun for like a week after that. Felt good to finally get even with Seifer. Then, of course, Matron made Selphie give up the mouse." He sighed heavily at the last part.

"I don't remember Seifer being afraid of mice." Squall mused.

Zell continued to grin. "He was. Man, that was a great month."

The chuckling round the table faded and Rinoa finished her drink of water.

She stood and announced her departure. "I'm tired, so I'll call it night."

Squall rose as well, but as she passed him she rested her hand on his shoulder and pressed him back into his seat. "Stay," she said, "Relax and have fun. I'm fine."

She gave him one last smile before leaving.

"So what's this about building beds," Quistis asked, "I don't remember."

Squall turned back to his friends, smiled and poured himself another drink. This could be a long night.

**End of Maybe I'm a Lion**


	15. The Loser

**A/N: **Heya. Sorry for taking so long. I was really hoping to keep up the once a week update, but since my graduation week, I've been too busy to really do much in the way of writing. What with real life and the cosplay of doom to make for my next con, said cosplay will also mean that I doubt I'll update for the next couple of weeks. So to make up for the long wait on either side, this chapter is extra long. No, seriously, it's looong.

**The Loser**

The car came to a stop outside of the Meadows Hotel. It was a large, over the top building — the best hotel in Galbadia or so they said. It was too much for Squall's tastes but a fitting place for the president of Esthar to be staying. A doorman opened the back door of the car to let Squall out.

"You sure you don't want a lift afterwards?" Selphie inquired from her place in the driver's seat.

"I'll be fine. You may as well start your leave tonight," he said, brushing off the offer.

His friend shrugged. "If you're sure. Have fun."

"See ya next week." Irvine called from the front passenger seat.

He turned away as the car drove off and made his way down the carpet towards the large front doors. It had been a long, tedious day, not helped by the hot and stuffy SeeD uniform he'd had to wear for the diplomatic meetings. Of course he'd handled it better than Laguna who, after only a short space of time, had started shifting and shuffling in his seat.

He'd been shocked when Laguna had pressed the note into his hand when he was supposed to be reading the paper before him, asking if Squall would like to come to the hotel that night for dinner. It was like the man thought they were back in the classroom. Selphie had seen the note and had had to cough loudly to cover up her snort of laughter. The abrupt noise had drawn the attention of the table's occupants and she'd quickly apologized, making up some excuse about a cough she supposedly had. The men had turned back to their papers and the meeting had slugged on.

He had, evidently, agreed to have dinner with Laguna, but he'd never got the chance to change and was beginning to get desperate to remove the uncomfortable uniform. He didn't even have his gunblade, but of course logic dictated he could hardly walk into a hotel and demand to see the president with the weapon by his side.

He entered the luxurious lobby, his heels clunking against the marble floor which occasionally raised into pillars that were dispersed around the lobby. The room was about half the size of the ballroom in the Garden, but decorated completely differently. The walls of the rectangular room were painted navy blue, silver patterns bordering doorways that lead to the dining room or small enclaves that held crystal vases of flowers.

Along the walls, were large portraits of great Galbadians from history, most of them appearing to be sorceresses. In one area of the room, there were several plush leather sofas around a small low table while the room was lit by several elaborate chandeliers far above him. It could easily have been tacky, but everything seemed to be in balance. Men in suits dotted the room, assuming it was security.

He approached the reception desk and the girl smiled up at him. Upon noting his uniform a small gleam entered her eyes.

"How can I help you sir?"

"I'm here to see President Loire."

"Do you have an appointment?"

"He's expecting me."

She pulled a phone towards her and flipped open a booklet.

"You're a SeeD then?" she asked as she looked down a list of numbers.

"Yes," he answered, hoping that she simply needed the information rather than attempting small-talk.

She flicked her eyes up and flashed him a smile. "I've always liked the SeeD uniform." Squall didn't know what to say to the bizarre comment beyond 'Oh.' "It looks a little different from the ones I normally see. Which Garden are you from?" She smiled and tapped her finger against a number.

"Balamb."

"How quaint," she commented, setting the commanders nerves on edge. Quaint! They'd beaten Galbadia Garden just a few years ago in the battle on Centra and it was Balamb Garden that was home to the most famous SeeDs in the world. Quaint indeed.

"It must be quiet a head-turner to be in Galbadia, being so much bigger and all."

Yes, because SeeDs never travelled to big cities, he thought sarcastically but settled on voicing something else. "Esthar is a lot bigger and more impressive," his tone bored.

Instead of the put out expression he'd been going for, she looked impressed as she punched the number into the phone. "Wow, I'd love to see Esthar." She held the receiver to her ear and smiled up at him in a slight predatorily manner. "Oh yes, I forgot to ask for your name?"

"Squall Leonhart."

The woman's jaw dropped slightly and her eyes widened. Someone seemed to pick up on the other end as she shook herself to speak.

"Oh! Er, I have a man down here in a Balamb SeeD uniform to see President Loire. He says his name is Squall Leonhart."

She gawked at him for the entire time, making him uncomfortable. He looked away, his eyes scanning the room but he could still feel hers on him.

"Okay, I'll pass the message on."

At the soft click of the phone being placed down, he turned back to his unwanted watcher.

"Someone will be down to meet you in a minute."

Squall turned, glad to be finished with the conversation.

"Are you _the_ Squall Leonhart?"

"That depends on who you mean by '_the _Squall Leonhart.'" He quickly moved away before she had a chance to elaborate, making a beeline to the sofas.

He threw himself down into the nearest one and, still conscious of the girl's gaze on him, cast his sights for something to distract himself with. He didn't have to look for long. On the low table was a chunky photo album. Leaning forward, he flicked it open. The page held a glossy photo of a band playing in what he guessed was the bar or dining room while on the other side was a trim, good looking man holding a glass of wine and smiling for the camera. He looked familiar and as Squall leafed through the album, he realised that it contained pictures all the celebrities that had graced the hotel with their presence.

He recognised a face here and there, but the majority slipped him by. Rinoa could probably tell him who most of them were, as many seemed to be musicians who had performed here, but he wasn't exactly known for his knowledge of Galbadia's popular and musical culture.

He glanced up at the elevators as they opened, but the only a woman and her daughter stepped out. For lack of anything else to do, he looked back down at the photos. He felt amusement run through him as he recognised a photo of a rather stunning belly dancer. She'd been very popular with the boys at the Garden ten years ago.

He glanced back up to see the elevator light flick on for the top floor. Looking back down he flipped another page, and then another and another, not really focusing on the pictures. How long-

Mid-flip he stopped, a photo catching his eye.

A smile tugged the corner of his lips; now that was a face that he recognised. He placed the page back down as he examined the woman who sat at the piano. She wore an expression that he recognised all too well from when Rinoa played, an absorbed expression derived from being completely immersed within the music she played. He traced the features of the pianist, noting all the similarities she shared with her daughter.

"Squall!"

His attention was jerked back to the present by the call of his name. He quickly stood in surprise, turning as he rose. He knew that voice, it was…

"Ellone?"

His sister was almost running to him, clad in a simple blue pencil dress with her heels probably being the only thing stopping her. She took his hands and gently squeezed them, smiling up at him.

"It's good to see you again. I've missed you."

"It's good to see you as well." he replied, hoping that he didn't sound too surprised. "I didn't know you were here."

"I wanted to surprise you."

"Mission accomplished," he admitted.

Her smile widened and she dropped his hands. "Come on, dinner is ready."

He stepped beside her and she guided him to the lift.

"Uncle Laguna says it was a long day."

He nodded and stepped into the elevator held for them by the lift lady. To be honest, he wasn't 100 percent sure why he was needed. The only role he could have possibly played was mediator between the gathered nations, but then that was it. He was the neutral party and they wanted authority behind that party. The others played it up as him being there because Garden was as important a force as any nation on the planet, though he suspected the other members' enthusiasm at him being there had more to do with a wish to win him over to 'their side' than any other made up reason.

"It was." His response was so heavy that Ellone giggled.

"He made it sound as if you enjoyed it." She didn't need to specify who 'he' was.

"I can just sit still." Although he had to admit that even that was a challenge by the end of the day. It hadn't been helped by the uneasiness of not having his gunblade for the entire day. It made sense, after all it would be…inappropriate if he was the only representative to turn up with a weapon while others had to rely on their bodyguards. He trusted Selphie and Irvine with his life, but he hated the almost helpless feeling that came with being unarmed and reliant on someone else's skills. It didn't matter that a gun could easily be pressed into his hand at any time.

"You don't have your gunblade with you."

He realised that his hand had drifted to rest in the empty space where his weapon should have been, the comforting weight absent.

She laughed softly. "You're like a kid without their security blanket."

The lift door suddenly opened and an Estharian soldier stood in the doorway, looking at a giggling Ellone and a glaring Squall. The man quickly shook of his surprise and stood smartly to attention.

"Miss Ellone."

She strode from the elevator and he followed. The guards let them pass unchallenged as they made their way to one of the only two doors on the floor, a testament to how large these rooms were. One of the guards pushed the door open to allow them to enter the room. Squall soon realised that it wasn't as accurate as apartment.

The Presidential suite comprised of several rooms, the one he currently stood in seemed to be the central one as several door branched off from it. However this single room was larger than his entire apartment in Balamb Garden and stretched along the edge of the building while several large windows gave a spectacular view of the city of Galbadia. To his right, a large table was set for a good dinner with several dishes were covered on the opposite end to three set places. On the other side of the room was a seating area with a bar, several large comfortable looking sofas and an entertainment system.

"Squall, great to see you made it." Laguna stood from one of the sofas, turning off the large flat screen television and grinning widely. He turned to the guards in the room. "You can leave now. Squall's not going to assassinate me or anything."

Two of the guards looked to a third who seemed to be their superior. The man slowly nodded, obviously unhappy with the order but unable to disobey. They left the room wordlessly to stand in the corridor.

Laguna walked over to the dining table. "I thought we'd want to be alone, what with us not having had a meeting for two weeks."

Squall followed him to the table. He'd guessed that that was why Laguna had invited him tonight. As Laguna took a seat at the head of the table; Squall and Ellone took their places either side of him. The president smiled widely, looking between the two.

"Just like one big happy family."

Ellone smiled across at Squall who avoided both of their gazes, looking down at his starter instead.

"Well, maybe not quite," the older man hastily continued. "Why don't we start?"

He picked up his fork and the other two mimicked him, digging into their salad.

"How's Rinoa doing?" Ellone asked.

"Well. Tired and hungry, but well."

"Do you know if it's a boy or a girl yet?"

"We decided to wait and see." Actually, technically Rinoa had decided to wait and see and he'd gone along with it. Boys, girls, or one of each, it didn't matter to him. As long as Rinoa didn't give birth to puppies or anything strange like that, he was happy.

"I see. It'll be a nice surprise. I saw the second set of sonograms that you sent to Laguna. It was nice to see them this time."

Of course, she never got the chance to see the first lot. "Rinoa thought you would like them."

Laguna butted in at this point. "I'm sorry I couldn't answer your question."

"It's fine," Squall brushed off.

In response to the e-mail with the sonograms attached, Laguna had asked him if there was anything he'd like to know more about. At first he dismissed the query, but then a small nagging question entered his mind. He didn't think much of it at first, however soon it grew 'til it bothered him more and more as he realised that no one had ever given a clear answer. He supposed it helped that it was done over e-mail rather than face to face or maybe it was a testament to how comfortable he was becoming with Laguna. But whatever the reason was, he'd asked the question.

Laguna picked up his empty starter plate, taking Squall and Ellone's as well, placing them at the opposite end of the table.

"It's actually why I bought Elle with me tonight."

He moved the main course serving platters between them as Squall stared at Ellone.

"You're…" he began but it was Ellone who interrupted his sentence.

"Going to tell you how Raine died. If you still want to know." She picked up a spoon to help herself to some vegetables.

Squall hesitated before nodding, ignoring how Laguna place a slab of steak on each of their plates.

Ellone didn't start straight away, picking up her fork instead with a thoughtful expression.

"I arrived back in Winhill a day, maybe two, before Raine gave birth…"

…_Ellone stood in the doorway as a couple of women ran around Raine and the bed. The woman in the bed moaned and the younger of the two around her comforted her. Ellone stepped into the room and a floor board creaked under her foot. The two women's heads snapped round to her. The older woman, Mrs Cradwell who lived across the square, frowned down at the little girl. Her grey hair was tied back into a bun, seemingly to make her expression more sour than normal. _

"_Ellone, go back downstairs like we told you."_

_She didn't move and the younger woman spoke, her voice softer. "Listen to my Ma, Ellie sweetie. Go downstairs."_

"_Ellone?" The two women paused as they looked towards Raine._

"_Raine?" Ellone took a few more steps forward._

_Her guardian lifted her hand towards the girl. "Ellone come here."_

_The eldest woman stiffened and there was a hint of warning in her voice when she spoke. "I don't think that's a good idea. This isn't a place for a child. She should go back downstairs."_

"_No. I want her with me."_

_Encouraged by Raine's words, because if she said it was fine then it was, Ellone dashed forward and grabbed the hand that was extended towards her. The child looked towards the woman who had taken her in, the face pale and sweaty, dark strands clinging to her face. Her breathing was heavy as she turned her head to the little girl. She looked nothing like the strong Raine Ellone had always known. She'd always been strong, maybe even stronger than Uncle Laguna, and to see her like this scared the young girl. _

"_Will you stay with me Ellone?"_

_There was a small squeeze on the girl's hand. She didn't speak, just nodded in reply. The soon-to-be-mother pressed her charge's hand to her lips. "Thank you," she said before she continued, "You said Laguna will be here soon?"_

_Ellone ignored the two dark looks that passed between the two 'midwifes'. She and Raine loved Laguna, even if no one else in the village did, and that's all the mattered. She occupied herself with more important matters instead, like answering the question._

"_He said he needed to finish what he was doing but he'd be right behind me."_

_The woman smiled. "That's good. He needs to see his little baby. You'll have a baby brother or sister very soon. You'll look after them won't you?"_

_The child nodded again._

_Mrs Cradwell stepped closer to them. "Now listen Raine, you're going to have to listen and do as I say."_

_Raine gave a vague nod and Ellone looked up at the elderly woman. "I thought babies were born in hospitals."_

_The old woman stiffened, looking down her nose at the asker of the innocent question. "I," she started sternly, "have been delivering babies for forty years. I delivered you and Raine. I know what I'm doing. She doesn't need some fancy hospital when I can manage just as well." She turned back to her patient, unaware of how wrong her words would prove to be._

_Ellone looked back to the woman in labour and felt any comfort the words may have given her faded away. _

_Raine really didn't look fine._

"_It's okay Raine, I'll stay with you."_

_She smiled weakly at the child. "Thank you Elle." That worried the child even more; Raine had always called her Ellone. "I just wish Laguna was here as well."_

_The stern old woman spoke up again. "Forget all of that, he's caused you nothing but trouble and now he's left you in this mess."_

_Ellone may not have fully understood what grief meant but she did understand that they were insulting her beloved Uncle Laguna._

"_He's-" but she never finished her sentence._

_Raine groaned, clasping her belly. Again the two acting midwives shared a look filled with meaning before the eldest spoke. "Raine, what I need you to do is push in time with the contractions."_

_The woman in question nodded. "I didn't realise that it would be this painful."_

_The younger of the midwives grasped her hand tightly. "You're strong Raine, you can do this."_

"_Are you ready?"_

_Raine actually laughed softly at this. "Do I have a choice?"_

_Ellone stood by her side as Raine was guided through her labour. She didn't even mind when the woman gripped her hand a little too tightly._

_Raine leaned back for a moment, tired and in pain._

"_Where are you?" The comment was so quiet that the girl next to her barely heard it._

"_Come on, another push."_

_She sat up again and made another effort._

"_Laguna." The moan escaped her lips before she gave another almighty push and she repeated the name more loudly before the next. Her lover's name soon replaced the cry of exertion with each push, tears flowing unchecked down her cheeks and mingling with sweat. _

_Suddenly a shrill cry cut the through the air. Raine sagged back into the pillows in relief._

"_It's a boy."_

_Ellone looked up at the baby and pulled a face. It looked kinda…gross, all red, wrinkly and slimy. She looked back to Raine who looked pale and had her eyes closed._

"_Raine?" The exhausted woman opened her eyes and gave a watery smile._

"_A baby boy, what you do think?"_

_The young girl smiled back, though she would have preferred a girl._

_The younger assistant stepped next to Raine and handed her now cleaned son wrapped in a blanket. Well, at least he looked better now, not at all so gross or loud. The new mother gave her brightest smile of the day as she held her first, and only, child for the first time. _

"_Isn't he beautiful?" she sighed, "Your new baby brother."_

"_Rose," Mrs Cradwell called to her assistant and daughter, "I need your help, now."_

_Raine's eyes seemed to grow heavier as she looked at her boy, a small smile playing across her face as she fought sleep's grasp._

"_Hello little one. You've created quite a stir in the village; two minutes old and already causing a storm like your father. My own little squall…"_

_(&)_

"_It was a ruptured uterus, I noticed the symptoms too late."_

"_Was there nothing you could do about it?" _

"_I would have needed better facilities then what I had." _

"_What are we going to do with the baby?"_

"_Well, I'm not looking after him."_

"_Me neither and I don't anyone in the village who would want that man's child under their roof. I don't see any other option but to send him away."_

_Ellone tried to ignore the voices of the group of villagers as they drifted up from the bar. They'd been talking about it for days, about sending her brother away, and he was __**her**__ brother, no matter what anyone said. _

_She zipped up her bag. Well, if they wouldn't let him stay then she wouldn't stay either. She would just have to take them both back to Esthar and Uncle Laguna herself. She'd already packed her backpack and was ready to go. She had food to eat: bread, with jam to go on top and a knife to spread it, as well as some apples, because Raine always said that it was important to eat fruit, and some chocolate she'd found. She'd also packed some drinks — a carton of apple juice and a bottle of milk for her baby brother. She even had five gil that she'd taken from her old piggy bank. Yes, she was ready to go._

_The girl placed the bag on her back and made her way over to the cot. Reaching up, she managed to release the catch that held the side of the cot in place. Leaning over, she looked down at the cause of all the commotion. _

"_Hello Squall," she whispered, because that was what Raine had called him, 'her own little Squall,' "I'm going to take you to Uncle Laguna."_

_The little boy just stared up at her. She'd always thought that babies made a lot of noise but not the one in front of her, but then again, she reasoned that, as she reached down to pick him up, maybe it was because he was so little. But soon she realised how heavy he was, so much heavier than her dollies. It must have been very tiring for Raine to carry him around inside her for such a long time._

"_Ellone, what are you doing?"_

_The girl turned round and saw that Mrs Cradwell and the old man from the villa were standing in front of her at the top of the stairs. _

"_Sweetie," Mrs Cradwell smiled softly, "You're too young to be carry a baby around. Why don't you give him to me?"_

_Ellone shook her head and clutched Squall closer to her._

_The elderly woman's voice became stern. "Give me the baby now."_

_Plucking up her courage, she managed to reply, "No. We're going to Uncle Laguna."_

"_And how are you going to get there?"_

_She didn't answer the question, unwilling to admit that she hadn't thought about that. "I won't let you take Squall away."_

"_We're just going to make sure that he has a home."_

"_I won't let you take him away from me." Not after she'd lost Raine._

"_Would you rather go out of Winhill with him?"_

"_Yes."_

_The old woman scowled down at her, looking more annoyed by the minute. She was about to take a step towards the children when a hand on her arm stopped her. The old man turned to Ellone, a fake smile in place when he spoke instead. _

"_Okay Ellone, you win. Why don't we all hop into the car and drive over there then."_

_He winked at Mrs Cradwell and stepped away from the stairs. He made a sweeping motion with his hand. "Ladies first."_

_Clutching the babe in her arms tightly, Ellone moved past them. As she made her way down the steps she heard the old man whisper to Mrs Cradwell._

"_Don't worry, we'll be five minutes in and she'll change her mind…"_

_(&)_

"…I didn't of course." Elle concluded, smiling across at the fully-grown Squall in front of her. "I stayed with you, until I was hidden away with the white SeeDs."

Squall looked down at his half-eaten desert; his appetite seemed to have left him earlier than normal tonight.

"Thank you for sharing that with us Elle." It was Laguna who spoke, but his manner was subdued.

A calm and almost sad Laguna sat with them now, a new side to the man that Squall had never seen and it seemed as if the whole room shared in attitude. He realised that this must have been the first time that Laguna had heard the story as well and Squall wasn't sure if he found it awkward to be present in what must have been a private and difficult moment for the man, or relieved that he wasn't alone in hearing about his mother's death.

Perhaps finding the atmosphere too tense, Ellone spoke again.

"Do you have any questions?"

Neither man said anything immediately. Squall continued to stare thoughtfully at his plate and it was Laguna that broke the silence.

"Was she angry at me?" The question made him look up.

"No, I don't think so. She was upset that you couldn't be there, but I think it was more at fate than you." She moved her hand to clutch Laguna's. "She always loved you."

"Did you give me my name then?" Squall forced out the question before he had time to think about it too much.

She looked surprised by the question and then laughed softly. "I suppose I did, but not on purpose. I just misunderstood Raine."

Squall nodded, trying to sort through his emotions. This was a lot to take in and he wasn't sure how to deal with it.

"It's late." At Laguna's comment, Squall glanced at his watch to see that it had passed midnight several minutes ago. "When's your flight back?"

"Whenever I make it back, but I really should be leaving."

"How are you getting back?"

"I'll call a cab."

Laguna frowned at him; this confused Squall but he soon pushed it aside. "Haven't you arranged for a lift?"

Squall gave him a small shrug. "Selphie and Irvine gave me a lift and they're on leave for the next week."

"I'll get a car for you then." The president stood.

"No it's fine," Squall started but Laguna was already halfway across the room.

"It's not problem. Less hassle all round." And before he could object, he plucked up the receiver and dialled the number for the reception.

End of The Loser


	16. Man with a Machine Gun

**A/N:** I'm back and I bring a very long chapter to you. So, please, without further ado, enjoy.

**Man with a Machine Gun**

Squall had a lot to think about. Luckily Laguna seemed to have realised this and gave him space, chatting to the driver while Squall gazed out of the window as Galbadia sped by. It was strange, but this was the first time that one of these memories had caused his head to buzz this way, but it wasn't a pleasant buzzing. Oh no, it was a busy, confused buzzing and he didn't like it. He didn't think that hearing about Raine's death, his mother's death, would affect him this much.

He found that it was easy to think of Raine as his mother now. Perhaps it was because she was dead and therefore wasn't a figure that he had to deal with like Laguna was. She was just a figure from the past and she would stay there, like a character from a story. It helped that, from what he knew of her, she was someone he approved of. Thanks to the fleshing out from Laguna and Ellone, she was a little bit more than just a name.

A name...that was another thing that surprised him; Ellone had named him, albeit accidently, and he wasn't sure how he felt about it. Six months ago, it would have pleased him, but now…

He'd always assumed that Raine had given him his name and he had grown used to the idea, he supposed he hadn't realised just how used he'd grown to it. For a long time, he'd believed that it was the only thing that she had given him, the only real link he had to her, and now... she hadn't even given him that. He realised that it was such a small thing and so he didn't know why it disappointed him so much.

"Squall?" It was the hand on his shoulder rather than his name that cut through his thoughts. Turning his head, he looked at Laguna. Something swam in the depths of his eyes, but the younger man couldn't place it. "Are you sure you don't want to stay the night in Galbadia? It might be better to get a few hours sleep and travel back in the morning."

"No, I want to get back to Rinoa. She can handle herself but…" He drifted off, uncertain how to finish his sentence.

"You'd rather be with her," Laguna supplied, "I get that. She must be five months in now?"

Squall nodded.

"Squall?" the driver chimed in, taking advantage of the break in conversation, "Squall Leonhart? The Garden commander?"

Oh great, here they go again and now he really wasn't in the mood. Not one bit. Squall glared at the man through the rear view mirror. The driver seemed completely oblivious and simply chuckled. "I knew it!"

Squall suddenly lurched forward, his safety belt tightening suddenly and preventing him from flying into the seat in front. The brakes shrieked with the strain of the abrupt halt. Not a second later, he slammed back into his seat, his head painfully snapping back. His eyes closed and he rubbed his neck as Laguna groaned beside him. The SeeD inside him clicked his fingers and demanded that the situation be assessed. However, he was beaten to it by a resounding click, a click that he knew all too well. He opened his eyes to find himself staring down the barrel of a gun.

"Squall Leonhart." The driver grinned at him from the other end of the gun. "I wouldn't move if I was you."

The commander glared at the man but did as he was 'advised.' Even SeeDs couldn't dodge bullets at point blank range.

"Squall, are you okay?"

Not entirely, as it was hard to be with a gun being waved in your face, but under the circumstances…

"…I'm fine." His eyes never left the gun or the owner. Laguna seemed to be fine, which meant he could concentrate on their subjugator and finding his opening. He needed to get Laguna out of this mess in one piece. "Who are you?"

The man remained silent, but Laguna answered instead. "Gardeners."

Squall's eyes slid to glare at Laguna from the corner of his eye. He was ready to snap at the president, telling him that now wasn't the time to be fooling around but the serious expression stopped him. Catching the annoyed expression on their captor's face, the answer hit him; it was an anti-SeeD group.

He shifted around in his head for more information on the group. Gardeners, an Esthar based group, so called because they saw it as their duty to 'tend' to the Gardens, weeding away young students from their respective schools and to turn others off the idea of joining them. Of course, they had a low success rate due to the kind of students Garden attracted. Those that wanted to be SeeDs wouldn't be put off by a few words from some protestors and those who had nowhere else to go, orphans like Squall had been, so they wouldn't leave.

However this didn't make sense; why was an _Estharian_ group here? The group was only a year or two old, growing with the number of students applying to Garden from Esthar, but they'd never really ventured outside their own turf and they'd certainly never done anything this aggressive.

"Or are you from one of the other groups?" Laguna looked thoughtful for a moment. "What were they again….? Friends of the Future? Or maybe GAGAC? This does have GAGAC written all over it."

The driver narrowed his eyes, trying not to look at the president. "How do you know?"

Laguna looked innocent. "Know what? Everyone knows the names of those groups."

The man looked increasingly annoyed. Either Laguna was getting closer with each guess, or this was a coalition between all three, maybe more, of the groups. Judging by this man's accent though, his guess was that this particular activist was from Gardeners. However, if it was a coalition, then how did Laguna know who was involved? The man didn't seem particularly surprised by the turn of events; in fact, he seemed remarkably calm. Though, this may just be Laguna being Laguna. He probably didn't realise the danger he was in and on this occasion, it was a definite plus…until he did something stupid that was. No, he couldn't have Laguna being mixed up in all of this.

"You want me?" Squall asked, drawing the attention back to himself.

The driver nodded.

"Then why bring your president into the mix?"

The man's expression softened. "We didn't intend to. I'm sorry Mr. President, but we couldn't miss this opportunity, not when the leader of Balamb Garden is defenceless."

Squall managed to stop the grim smile reaching his lips. Idiots. He may be without his gunblade but he was far from defenceless. If these groups thought that all they had to do was take a SeeD's weapon away then Squall was very disappointed. Especially in GAGAC, the most forceful and vocal of all the groups, who always seemed very keen on forever reminding the world how they trained children to kill.

"Once my comrades arrive, we'll leave you here and you can make your way home or call for someone."

Laguna glanced between the two other men in the car. "I'm not leaving Squall." As if to make his point, he leaned back into the car seat.

"Don't be an idiot," Squall hissed across at him.

"Trust me; it'd be stupider to leave you."

The driver cut across them. "We have no need for you Mr. President. Taking you would greatly damage our public standing."

Squall nearly snorted at the comment. "Because kidnapping me won't do that anyway."

"Shut up! I won't take moral lessons from a murderer."

"So being a kidnapper puts you on a higher moral ground than a SeeD?"

The man looked very angry now and Squall knew it was a very bad idea to metaphorically poke a man who could potentially end his life with a single finger. However, he doubted this man was going to go to all this trouble just to shoot him because he'd been a little annoying. No, they wanted him alive, whoever 'they' were exactly, so unless this man panicked or thought he was a threat, he wasn't going to shoot.

"Don't compare me to your standards," the man was half shouting now, his face acquiring an unpleasant red tinge, "I don't train children to kill and then send them off to die."

This is one thing he hated about anti-SeeD groups, the complete and utter lack of understanding of what Garden is about.

"All SeeDs are prepared and capable of dealing with their missions. Otherwise we wouldn't-"

He was cut off by the man he was trying to reason with, drowned out by the shouting.

"And what about my daughter? My little Lucy? Was she prepared when you sent her to die? How was she prepared for being captured and tortured? How was she capable of dealing with that? She was eighteen…"

He faded away, still glaring at the man he blamed for it all. Squall could understand his feelings and he felt sorry for him, but didn't mean it was going to excuse what he was doing.

"I'm sorry for your loss, but your daughter would have understood the risks of what she was doing-"

"—Don't you dare talk about my girl! You didn't know her and you sent her to her death, like all those other kids. I won't let you bring your massacre to Esthar."

"I'm not about to put a discrimination system in place in Balamb Garden, if someone from Esthar-"

"That's not what I'm talking about and you know it."

Squall was beginning to get very tired of being interrupted. He looked levelly at the man, not letting his bemusement show. If he was perfectly honest, he had no idea what this man was talking about. Several possibilities sprung to mind, but none leapt out as being particularly likely. Again, it was Laguna who supplied the answer.

"He thinks we've been having weekly meetings to plan a new Garden for Esthar."

So they've been noticed, he thought, conceding shortly after that it was probably only a matter of time anyway. Still, he was grateful for Laguna's phrasing, open to be taken either way, neither confirming nor denying the weekly meetings. Though he could see how the groups had come to their conclusions, he had to wonder if they seriously thought that the SeeD commander and president of Esthar would be planning a new Garden in a small Balamb café.

Regardless, it left a new opening to resolve this simply.

"We're not planning on opening a Garden in Esthar," the commander stated in his bored tone, relaxing his body. "This is the first I've even heard of the idea."

"Don't lie to me," the deluded man hissed.

"Why would we put all the time and money into designing, building and staffing a whole new Garden when we could easily just help to finish the reconstruction on Trabia?" The man wavered and Squall could see the doubt creeping into his eyes. "This is pointless. Put down your gun, step out of the car and we'll forget this ever happened. You have my word."

The man's eyes flashed and the SeeD wished that he was better at this kind of thing.

"Your word means nothing to me."

"Then what about the word of your president?"

The driver clenched his jaw. "We won't involve him, we only want you."

Squall spoke before Laguna had a chance to voice his resolve to stay with his companion. "I've told you that we have no intention in building a new Garden, what point is there in taking me hostage with no demands?"

"The agreement was that all our demands would be met."

So it was several factions working together. They must really hate him, or what he stood for in their eyes, to all come together and pull all of their resources in order to abduct him. He might have felt flattered if it wasn't so frustrating…no, actually it _was_ just frustrating.

"But your group has nothing to gain from this. You can protect the members of your faction by letting us go."

"We won't dishonour the agreement, not when it's for the greater good."

The greater good? A phrase thrown around to justify ones actions and ideals. Squall began to raise his hand to pinch the bridge of his nose in aggravation, however, as soon as his hand moved the gunman shouted at him.

"I said don't move."

Squall couldn't keep the annoyance from his tone when he spoke. "So you take me hostage, then what? You make your demands to Garden? Do you honestly think they'll just sit quietly and comply?"

"They will do if they want you back alive and in one piece."

Squall wanted to laugh at him. These people were fools. "Do you really believe your plan will work? Hostage rescue is a speciality of SeeD. It's what we're called on more than any other mission type. Any first level SeeD can do it. But it won't be some newbie that will come for me, it'll be my friends. This will be a walk in the park in comparison to what they've done before and they won't look kindly upon anyone they find in their way."

Perhaps if he was in a different circumstance, he might have been surprised by his steadfast faith in his friends, something that he would have found unthinkable when he began his life as a SeeD.

"Are you threatening me?"

"No, I'm warning you."

The man continued looking at his hostage steadily, all reservation seemingly gone.

"I guess there's no reasoning with him." Laguna voiced his companion's thoughts. "You seem like a decent guy, so, I'm sorry."

That was all a tip off the SeeD needed.

As soon as Laguna kicked out, knocking the gun to the right, Squall fell to his left, hitting the safety belt catch as he went. There was a loud bang as the gun was fired, narrowly missing its intended victim's shoulder. It took less than a second to untangle his arm and grab his opponent's. Pulling, he used the momentum to haul himself back up while drawing the driver towards him. In one fluid moment he sat up and rammed the heel of his palm into the man's nose. The owner cried out, blood pouring down his face, and the gun fell unless from his grasp.

The SeeD commander turned to Laguna, checking the man was alright before he went for the gun. The older man gave him a relieved smile, unharmed and well, but Squall didn't get the chance to get his hand on the gun lying on the floor. The window beside Squall smashed inwards causing him to turn away and his arm shot up to shield his face. He was ready to act when the glass cleared but whoever smashed the window didn't wait. A gloved hand took a firm hold of his hair and yanked him back till the back of head collided with the window frame. He could feel the sting of many small cuts over his head as he sat trying to recover quickly. Outside the car, someone took advantage of the situation and opened the door and took hold of the back of his coat. The feel was enough to jerk him into action. He reached inside him for a spell. Aiming behind him he cried out the spell to release it.

"Blizzaga."

There was a cry of pain and the force pulling him left only to be replaced by another; gravity. Unbalanced, he fell to the ground, but at least he had his wits about him. Still on his knees, he quickly straightened in time to block the kick aimed at him. He sharply twisted the foot and it snapped. Gasping, his victim fell to the ground. Reaching for another spell, a Firaga this time, while he rose to one knee when…

"Stop now or I _will_ shoot him."

Squall's head snapped up to the voice. Beside him, a woman stood, face hidden under a balaclava, the open car door between the two of them while her gun hovered a couple of inches away from Laguna's head. The president had frozen midway through climbing out of the car. However, he looked remarkably calm, none of the silly nervousness that seemed trademark to the man. The moment's distraction was enough for something to blanket over his throat. Not a hand but a spell. Silence.

The woman spoke again, "Hands behind your head and back on your knees."

The SeeD looked round him to see a dozen people surrounding them, two down, wearing Balaclavas to hide their faces. If he could still use magic then he could have handled this, perhaps even if he just had his gunblade, but not how he was. Trained opponents or not, unarmed and with Laguna to look out for, it wasn't worth fighting this fight. He did as he was told.

"Now de-junction."

Squall didn't move. Like hell he was going to de-junction.

"De-junction or I will shoot." The aggressive woman pushed the gun closer to Laguna's head to make her point clear.

Unable to speak, he raised an eyebrow to show his scepticism. If they were going to kill Laguna, one of the most powerful men in the world, an action that would start a man hunt for every anti-SeeD member, then he was Carbuncle.

The eyes behind the mask narrowed. The gun moved down, away from the head and she let off a bullet into the president's shoulder. Laguna fell against the seat back, clutching his shoulder and made a muffled cry of pain through gritted teeth. Squall just about stopped, his eyes flying wide open. He couldn't believe how stupid these people were. They'd shot the leader of Esthar. With one single bullet, she'd doomed not only her organisation, but the other ones that were involved in this endeavour. Apparently, he wasn't alone in his string of thoughts.

A man to Squall's other side called out. "What the hell are you doing? That's the president of Esthar."

However Laguna's shooter didn't waver. "An unfortunate victim caught in cross fire." Her eyes never left Squall. "Now de-junction, or shall I shoot again?"

Gritting his teeth, he did the only thing he could: he de-junctioned. Squall couldn't let them shoot Laguna again. His eyes unfocused as his attention slipped inwards to sever all the links to the GFs that strengthened him. Weaponless, silenced, and now with no extra strength, it was an uncomfortable position to be in.

He looked to the woman, whose gun was still aimed at Laguna and inclined his head towards the injured man. Catching the drift, someone was called over to tend to the injured man.

A small commotion broke out and he didn't have to wait long to see what it was about. Their driver marched through his comrades to come and stand in front of Squall. He glared down at the SeeD, the lower part of his face still covered in drying blood.

"You broke my nose, you son of a bitch."

The commander gave him a level look just like before. Even though he couldn't say he was sorry about it, he got the strong impression that the man hadn't come over just to tell him this little piece of information. He was proven right when the unmasked man kicked out at him. Predictable, it was easy to move out of the way of the swinging foot. His hands dropped, but rather than defending himself, he felt someone pulling him roughly to the ground from behind. His back collided painfully with the road and a second later, the foot found its mark in his stomach. The air rushed out of him and he curled up on his side, grasping for breath. His mind screamed at him to get up. He had to defend himself because no one else would step in. Behind him, he could hear Laguna shouting at them. He started to rise.

"Don't like it? Don't you like feeling beaten and helpless? How do you think my daughter felt?" The grieving father kicked him back to the ground.

"That's enough!" Laguna shouted. "He can't defend himself!"

The words were ignored and the foot connected with him again, on the side of his head this time. Stars exploded across his vision and pain shot through his head. A second kick turned his world black and threatened to swallow him whole. He desperately clung to consciousness, knowing he couldn't black out. Not here, not now. It was so hard without the GFs' strength protecting his head against such attacks though.

Something tugged within him and faded, disappearing from him. A draw, someone was drawing something from him. The action, the robbery, was enough to lend him enough resolve to push through the darkness. Sounds drifted through, making him realise that the noises had faded away in the first place. They were sounds of fighting, but not heavy battle, rather the closing of a small conflict. Another noise was stronger and helped bring him back to the surface of consciousness. As his world became clearer, so did the pain in his head.

"Squall, come on, open your eyes."

Yes, his eyes were closed, he didn't remember closing them. He must have done so after the first kick to his head. The memory seemed to make his head throb even more, but he managed to slide his eyes open. Laguna filled his vision. The man hovered over him with a worried expression and it didn't fade much when he opened his eyes. He must have still looked dazed because he sure felt like it.

"How do you feel?"

Feel? Bad. "Headache," was Squall's short reply. He could speak, so someone must have lifted the silence.

Laguna continued speaking but Squall didn't really pay any attention. He was on his back, he realised. He didn't remember being rolled into this position. He must have blacked out then. He didn't remember losing consciousness though. Guess he wouldn't. How long had he been out for?

Turning his head, he looked across the road and noted two things. First, they were still by the car, so not much time could have passed. Second, Estharian soldiers swarmed the road, subduing and rounding up the resident group members. The appearance of the soldiers just added to Squall's confusion.

"What happened?"

"After that second kick, I managed to step between the two of you. I was worried that he wasn't going to stop till you were dead. I rolled you over to see if you were okay and took advantage of the situation. I drew a Flare from you so I hope you don't mind since I needed to buy some more time till my back up arrived. I managed to take down a couple of guys with the spell and my soldiers managed to slip in. Good timing on their part. I just wish the good timing was at an earlier point."

He didn't remember any of that, just the drawing. "How long was I out for?"

"I'm not entirely sure you were, but it's only been…two, three minutes."

That wasn't so bad. Beside him, Laguna shifted and sat back. "I'm sorry. This wasn't exactly what I had in mind for bonding activities."

Squall laughed and it sounded light-headed, even to him.

Laguna called for a medic. "I think you have a concussion."

Oh, he was certain he did. His mind was taking far too long to process everything. He was sure there was something else that should have been bothering him, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

He turned back to the older man, noting the bullet wound. It was a wonder he'd missed it the first time, what with the right side of his shirt soaked in blood. The sight caused the raising of guilt in his gut, though he was willing to admit that it could just be nausea cause by a concussion.

"I'm sorry I got you shot. I should have been more careful."

"It's okay, there's nothing you could have done. I didn't think she'd do it either, otherwise I would've moved out of the way. You know, I've never really seen you in action, it's impressive."

The SeeD gave him a 'humpft.' "That was clumsy. I should have noticed something before it all kicked off or picked up the gun instead of checking on you. I could have handled the situation better without it getting so out of hand." Right now though, his head hurt too much to elaborate further and think how.

"You were distracted. Then you were outnumbered and had me holding you back. You may be the Balamb Garden Commander, but you're still human."

The guilt abided a little as Laguna's words made sense, but the feeling of responsibility was still strong.

The medic arrived and set his case down next to them, turning first to the young man lying on his back.

"La- The President is more seriously injured, see to him first," he objected.

"My battle wound isn't going to get any worse and we don't know how serious yours is," Laguna pointed out.

Squall sat up, ready to argue his point further, and instantly regretted it. The world veered to one side, seemingly spinning around him. He was hit by a wave of nausea strong enough to make him want to vomit. He screwed his eyes shut to try and steady his world. A hand on his chest pushed him gently back against the road as he fought down the feeling.

"Commander Leonhart, please open your eyes for me." A new voice…must be the medic. Laguna would never call him Commander Leonhart under any circumstance. He opened his eyes, only to have a torch shine in them.

"Definitely a concussion, but nothing more serious than that. Rest is the best treatment but he'll have to be monitored over the next twenty-four hours. We should get him to Deling Hospital."

"I'll go to the medical centre when I get back to Garden and I can rest on the flight back. There are other SeeDs that can keep an eye on me."

Even with the helmet still in place, he could tell that the medic wasn't happy.

Laguna leaned forward and whispered, "He's married."

"Wish I was still that enthusiastic to get home to my wife," the medic quipped shortly before he turned his attention to his leader instead. "We're close to the airfield; they'll have better and cleaner facilities to deal with your bullet wound so I'll temporarily bandage it and place it in a sling."

"Sounds good to me."

The medic went to work, peeling away the shirt from the skin. Squall watched Laguna. It had been a…full night. The hotel room seemed like a completely different night, filled with different issues. He couldn't deny that Laguna had impressed him, though considering how he thought he would act in this situation, that wasn't entirely surprising. The thought that had been pestering him earlier suddenly returned to him.

"You knew about this."

The man in question turned back to look at him. He nodded. "In a manner of speaking. I got the phone call a couple of weeks ago when I had to leave early. It was just a small thing then, rumours about building a new Garden. By the next week, they knew about the conference in Galbadia and were making contact with other groups. I had thought that we'd dealt with the majority of it, but I accompanied you tonight just to be safe. I didn't think they'd try anything if we were together. Guess it's lucky they make me carry around a panic button after all."

There was silence for a moment as Squall digested the information. "You should have told me. I could have been prepared."

"There didn't seem to be any point. I had things under control, for a bit any way. Considering the way things turned out, I suppose I should have."

Squall sighed. "It's fine. I would have been in more trouble if you weren't there; you did well."

Laguna beamed at him. "Really?"

"Better than I thought anyway. I assumed you'd mess it all up."

The medic snorted back a laugh and Laguna gave him a look of mock shock.

"I'm deeply offended. How do you think I got by for all of these years?"

"By Kiros saving your arse."

The medic finished tying the sling and excused himself with something suspiciously like laughter in his voice.

His patient ignored him. "I'm the master of getting out of tight corners."

"So I see, just not in one piece."

"Hey, now that's just unfair." Despite the words, the tone was light and happy.

"Yes, I suppose it is. I'll have to remember to give you more credit in the future."

The look of surprise on his father's face was enough to make Squall smile at his small victory, or what felt like one anyway. The look of surprise faded into a large, and very Laguna-like, smile. "Is that a hint of respect I hear in your voice?"

Respect? He supposed it was. He'd just seen a side of the man that he didn't expect to find; one that showed him in a more competent light, one that allowed him to see how the older man had survived all these years and not always on the back of his friends, one that he found himself liking.

**End of Man with a Machine Gun**

Whoot! Another chapter, hope everyone enjoyed this chapter as it was really quite different to the rest of the fic. I've wanted to play with the anti-SeeD groups because, well, no one else seems to.

Sorry for the long wait (nearly a month, I hope the length made up for it), but I was buried under a pile of material and embroidery for my cosplay of doom (http:/ jmercuryuk. deviantart. com/#/d2wuw49, for anyone interest. Sorry, don't normal do this, but I'm very proud of that cosplay), and then there was the AMECON! Which was awesome. I was so happy, there was someone cosplaying Julia at the ball. She was so awesome, no one ever does Julia. Anyway, sorry to babble, see ya next time.

Btw, with this chapter, this is now my longest fanfic :D


	17. Timber Owls

**A/N:** Hey, well that was longer than expected, sorry about that. I kinda got a bit of a block with the flashback and it took me ages to write. That and RL.

**Timber Owls**

"Hey, you should be in bed." Rinoa's hands gently fell on Squall's shoulders, her thumbs rubbing the nape of his neck. The soft voice only carried a hint of scolding in it.

He leaned back into her touch and tilted his head back to look up at her. "I'm resting. I just couldn't spend another minute in bed."

His wife smiled and swooped down into a hug. "Really, then why are you on the Garden system?" She referred to his laptop, open on the table before them.

"It's not work, just curiosity."

She looked up at the screen. "Lucy Moore?"

"Yes, she was a SeeD based here four years ago. She died in action when she was on a mission."

"Ah," the small sound was enough to convey her understanding, "the daughter."

She didn't need to specify which daughter she was talking about. He nodded.

She'd been told about his 'little' run in with the anti-SeeD groups. He didn't have much choice. Originally, he was going to play it down; he didn't want to add more stress to his pregnant wife after all. Then she turned up at the infirmary while he was having his check-up and demanded to know exactly what had happened. When he tried to side step or gloss over the matter, she had crossed her arms and announced that she wasn't leaving the room until he had told her everything. His position wasn't helped when her back-up arrived in the form of Quistis.

"Her, Lucy's, mission was small scale and a semi-failure. The client got what they wanted but they lost a third of their team. She was coming to the end of her first year as a SeeD; there were high risks but nothing beyond her capabilities. She was also the least experienced in a six man group. Something small went wrong, escalated and she was taken prisoner. Her team leader joined her when she tried to rescue her. They were tortured for information and then killed."

"Must be hard to deal with that; losing your child in such a brutal way."

Squall pinched the bridge of his nose; he'd have to speak to Quistis about looking at the security and firewalls on their system. "Garden doesn't give details about the death of SeeDs, for obvious reasons. The anti-SeeD group must have found out somehow and passed the information onto the father."

"Is it fair to keep it secret?"

Yes, sometimes it was kinder to lie.

"Ignorance is bliss."

"I sometimes forget how dangerous being a SeeD is."

Squall dropped his hand and grasped hers, giving it a light squeeze — a reassurance to his wife.

"We're reminded of it every time we go on a mission, but sometimes people get cocky. They forget that they can fail, get unlucky or that they are mortal. New candidates don't really know it until they take the field exam. They're told but they don't really know it." He moved his hand again, this time cup her cheek, gently pushing her face to his. "But I'll always come back to you."

She smiled against his cheek. "I'll hold you to that."

They remained like that for a moment before Rinoa made a noise of discomfort and straightened up. He turned to see her rubbing her back.

"Are you alright?"

"Nothing the end of the pregnancy won't solve."

Her husband frowned up at her. "You should sit down."

She did as she was told, planting herself on Squall's lap. The man resisted the urge to wince. She had gotten heavy. He knew it was to be expected with her carrying twins, but still, this wasn't his preferred way of finding that out firsthand. At least he had the sense to stay quiet and not blurt out, 'Bloody hell, you weigh a ton. Could you get off me?'

"Now enough about me," she spoke, "what about you?"

"A lot better. The headache is gone. My face is just sore from the bruise."

"That's not what I meant. This has thrown up those fears again about being a dad, hasn't it?"

He'd be lying if he said no. At first, he had been too distracted, his mind playing over the attempted kidnapping. Eventually he was left to conclude that Laguna was right, there wasn't really anything he could have done. The only possibility had been time-based magic, but it was a tricky thing. It requires accuracy like no other type. It had to hit the head, preferably not the face, for it to have the desired effect on the brain. The other problem was that it also took longer than most spells to take effect. By the time a Slow or Stop would have come into effect, he would have been shot several times.

With that matter sorted, the other worries took hold of him, creeping back from the corner of the mind they had been temporarily banished to. The problem with these ones though, was that they were harder to dispel. He was beginning to wonder if he could watch his own children go off on missions. He wasn't even sure if he wanted this life for his children, but would they feel pressured into it — a need to live up to expectations. Or would they want to follow the example that he set? Did he have the right to send other people's children into danger when he wouldn't want to send his own kids?

"Squall," his wife's voice drew his attention, "we're going to make mistakes — every parent does. I mean, look at me and my dad. Still, I just know that from the bottom of my heart, the good you do will outweigh the bad."

He gave her a small hollow smile. "I always thought that 'heart' was a lousy analogy."

Rinoa shook her head, lightly rapping her knuckles against his forehead.

"Oh Squall, you're missing the point. When we say 'heart,' we don't mean this," she rested her hand against his chest, "not the organ. We mean something that isn't physical. The heart, the centre, it's the core of our being — the very centre of us. When we say, 'I love you from the bottom of my heart,' we mean, 'I love you from the depths of my soul. From the very core of my being and with everything that makes me me.' It's something so deep, that it is part of me."

He looked up into her oh-so serious face, her small speech unexpected. A small laugh bubbled in his stomach until it burst free. She looked rather put-out by his reaction.

"What? I'm serious."

"I know. I learn so much from you." He pulled her down, pressing his lips against hers. She smiled and deepened the kiss; then his mobile rang. They sighed and pulled apart.

"It's Selphie," he muttered, recognising the ringtone. Ever since that evening in the cafeteria, all his friends had stolen his phone and, at one point or another, had chosen a ringtone for themselves. Why she was ringing was beyond him though.

"Isn't she on vacation?"

"She should be."

He reached over to the phone and flicked it open. He didn't even get a chance to say hello.

"SQUUUUUUUAAAALLLL!" He openly winced at his friend's frantic cry. "How could you keep this a secret from us?"

He supposed it was only a matter of time before she found out. "Who told you?"

"Quistis just sent us a message warning us to be careful. Why didn't you tell us sooner?"

"It wasn't important," he told her, though he should have thought to send a warning to them. Good old reliable Quistis, she'd probably sent a message round warning all SeeDs to be on their guard by now.

"NOT IMPORTANT! You were nearly kidnapped."

"But I wasn't," he was quick to point out.

"This was a close call though. It sounds like if Sir Laguna hadn't been there, then you'd have been in lots of trouble." As much as he hated to admit it, she was right. "What if they try again?"

"They won't, not for a long while. The failure will be a deterrent to other groups, for the time being. Besides, they'll be too busy dodging armies to arrange anything at the moment."

"Armies?"

"Neither Galbadia nor Esthar are happy about the event. Esthar, for obvious reasons, and Galbadia probably find it embarrassing, especially as Laguna got mixed up in it all. Both armies are looking for members of the groups now."

"What about SeeD?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing? How can we do nothing?"

"Why should we when they're doing the work already? It would be a waste of time and manpower."

"You're just gonna let it lie, aren't you?"

"We'll give a general warning out to all SeeDs and cadets, but I have a pile of missions that would be a better use of SeeD time." Besides, it was only him. Why kick up a huge fuss?

"Still, we're coming home today."

"Don't bother," he quickly said. He was worried something like this might happen. "I'm at Garden now; they won't try anything while I'm here. Even if they were that stupid, I have a whole Garden to call upon and a sorceress. Just stay where you are and relax."

Rinoa suddenly plucked the phone out of his grasp.

"Selphie?" She paused for a reply. "Yep. Don't worry, I'll be keeping a very close eye on him, so just stay and enjoy the rest of your holiday." He could make out the sound of the girl on the other end of the phone, but not what she said. "Will do, in fact, I think I'll put him back to bed right now." Squall frowned up at her and she laughed at something her friend said, a twinkle appearing in her eyes. "You too. See you soon."

She hung up the phone and placed it back on the table. He was about to ask what Selphie had said, but judging from the twinkle in his lover's eyes, he didn't want to know.

She stood, taking his hand. "Come on, back to bed you go."

"I'm a little old to be sent to bed."

"Maybe just a little bit." She held the tips of her thumb and forefinger a millimetre apart to illustrate her point. "But the doctor says you need to rest. If you're a good boy, I'll tell you a bedtime story." She gave a tug on his hand.

"I'm definitely too old for bedtime stories." Nevertheless, he stood and let himself be led back to bed.

Once he was lying on his back, his other half settled down next to him.

"Once upon a time…"

"Rinoa," he said in a warning tone.

She just laughed softly. "I think after all of the grief, we need a nice, cheery story…."

(&)

_ "Zone, we really appreciate everything, but we need to switch bases. It's just not feasible to continue meeting here." Rinoa tried to reason with her friend._

_ "What's wrong with here?"_

_ "Because Sir," Watts started to explain, "we're using your place."_

_ Zone shifted defensively. "Yeah, and?"_

_ "Your place is a single room, a bedroom and kitchen in one with a small en-suite."_

_ "And it looks as if the Galbadian army ha__d__ charged through here," someone called from beside the door._

_ "So what?"_

_ Rinoa pointed out the problem."It's just a little cramped with twenty people."_

_ Zone looked round his apartment. Five people were crammed onto the bed while other members sit or stood in whatever space they could jam themselves into. Several people were pressed up against each other, invading the other's personal space. He seemed to realise he was fighting a losing battle._

_ "So we're a little cosy; it'll bring us closer together." _

_ "It isn't really cosy any more, Sir. We have one person on the table, and that's only because we can't have any more on there since it collapsed." A few people chuckled at the memory of last Friday's mini adventure. They'd decided to see how many people they could get onto the table. The answer turned out to be seven and then the furniture had crumbled under their weight._

_ Watts continued. "Rinoa was on a pile of 'The Girl Next Door' magazines, until it collapsed."_

_ "She should have picked the 'Timber Manics,'" a petite blonde announced from the top of her own pile of magazines. "They're bigger, sturdier." She tapped the stack to emphasize her point._

_ "I told her they'd fall over if she sat on them," Zone tried to defend himself._

_ Rinoa looked up at him from beside the fallen pile."I thought normal boys hide their porn."_

_ "It just shows I have a healthy 'appetite.'" _

_ "Or that you don't have a girlfriend," the boy on top of the table shouted, causing another ripple of laughter to run through the room._

_ Zone turned slightly red and tried to change the subject. "What were we talking about again?"_

_ "I was proving that your room is too small to use as our base," Watts answered. "My final point was going to be that Richard is sitting on your stove."_

_ "And I'm fed up with sitting in the shower," a cry came from the bathroom. _

_ "You know the rules," Zone shouted back, "You turn up late; you get the bathroom."_

_ "I think it's time we admitted that we've outgrown the base," Rinoa said, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. "But it will always be remembered as the meeting place for the group that liberated Timber from its evil oppressors." _

_ Zone finally gave in. "So where are we moving to?"_

_ "Well, that's why we have the meeting today."_

_ The room dipped into a thoughtful silence. _

_ "What about Richard's house? That's big enough to hold us all."The comment came from one of the men on the bed._

_ "It's on the high street," Watts immediately countered. "The soldiers will see us coming and going and get suspicious quickly."_

_ "We could use a party as our cover story."_

_ "We tried that, remember?"_

_ The petite girl giggled behind them. "I sure do. That was a great party, especially after we got Zone to down that drink we mixed together."_

_ "But we didn't get anything done," Rinoa was quick to point out. "We'll become just like other factions who do nothing."_

_ "What about the abandoned studio? Isn't that where the group used to meet?" _

_ Zone shook his head. "It's guarded too heavily, ever since Dad and the old members were caught there."_

_ The room shifted into an awkward silence, everyone eager to think of a new suggestion to take their mind away from the thoughts of the execution of the old leaders, and the parents of the current leader and his second in command._

_It was a difficult task; it wasn't as if Timber was the largest of towns with a surplus of places they could use as bases. They couldn't just meet in a café to plan the uprising of the small nation, but what other option was there? Timber only really had the magazine company going for it, well that and the railway….._

_ Oh, that was genius, utter genius. She looked round the room._

_ "What about a train?"_

_(&)_

_ "Rinoa?"_

_ The girl in question turned, looking at Watts through the Galbadian helmet she wore. "Yes?"_

_ "Didn't this train belong to your uncle?"_

_ "Yeah." She wasn't really sure were this was going._

_ "So wouldn't be easier to just go up to them and claim it as yours? As he didn't have children or anything, couldn't it just pass to you?"_

_ She gave him a stern look that he couldn't see under her soldier's disguise. "That isn't very resistance group-like."_

_ "Well, I suppose not," he admitted, peering at another train, "but it seems a lot easier than combing the train yard for one vehicle."_

_ She didn't answer. He was right, of course, but she'd severed all of her ties to Galbadia and she didn't want to re-establish them just for this. Using her knowledge and using her birth right were two very different things that she didn't want to blur the line between. _

_ "So we're looking for a blue train?" She nodded. "Just the one carriage?"_

_ She nodded again and they continued looking._

_ Watts suddenly spoke up again. "I think we need a name."_

_ "Huh?" His friend turned to him, lost and confused._

_ "Our group, we need a name. I mean, 'the resistance' isn't really good enough, not now that there are loads of resistance groups. Times have moved on from when Dad was in charge, we need to move on."_

_ "Did you have an idea?"_

_ "Well, everyone chooses an animal, but all the good ones are gone. Like foxes, that wen-"_

_ "BOO!" _

_ The two friends shrieked in surprise, jumping back as the soldier leaped out in front of them. Her hand halted halfway to the standard issue gun when she noticed that the man was doubled over in laughter. Realising who it was, Rinoa stamped her foot in annoyance._

_ "Zone! That's not funny. What if someone heard?"_

_ He tried to straighten up, answering around suppressed mirth. "Oh…come…on. There's no one…within a…mile."_

_ Watts seemed to compose himself enough to answer. "That's true enough. If there was any danger then he'd be crouched in a corner somewhere nursing his 'stomach pains.'"_

_ Rinoa laughed and high-fived the boy's outstretched hand._

_ "Hey," their 'victim' objected, "it's a genuine problem."_

_ "You mean a convenient one."Rinoa may have felt guilty about her barbed comment, if it hadn't been for the nasty scare the man had just given them. _

_ "Fine then, I won't show you where we found the train if you're gonna be like that."He turned and started to walk away._

_ Rinoa's attitude quickly changed and she chased after her friend. Watts following behind her. _

"_You found the train?"_

_ "Yep, the others are just getting things ready now."_

_ "What about dogs?" Watts suddenly asked._

_ "None, well, there's a little puppy in the train, but we think he's just a stray."_

_ "No, for our new name. The 'Forest Dogs,' as in an underdog."_

_ Zone turned back to look at him. "We're changing our name?"_

_ "We don't really have a name at the moment. I thought it'd be good to finally give ourselves one."_

_ "I guess so." he agreed but his tone implied that he wasn't entirely happy with the idea._

_ Rinoa stepped in. "I'm not very keen on 'Forest Dogs.' Kinda sounds like a name they'd give us as an insult."_

_ "I guess so, but there really aren't many other choices."_

_ "What about 'Forest Ducks?'" Zone joked in front of her and was rewarded with his friend's chuckles. _

_ "I don't think we could be less intimidating if we were called the 'Forest Kittens.'"_

_ Watts brightened up at her comment. "What about 'Forest Wildcats?'"_

_ "Sounds like a sports team to me," their leader retorted._

_ She shook her head. "We don't want people thinking that."_

_ There was a small bark and suddenly a small puppy came bounding up to them. Rinoa's eyes lit up and she scooped up the animal._

_ "She's so cute."_

_ "We think she's been living inside."_

_She looked up to see the train standing in front of them. She grinned widely._

"_That's it."_

_She placed the puppy down again and dashed inside, removing the helmet as she did so. Turning left she went into the closet room, she dropped her helmet on the table that dominated the area. She turned as her friends entered behind her._

"_See, we can hold meetings in here and plan new strategies." _

_ She turned and quickly left the room, dashing down the familiar corridor, round the corner and up the stairs. Her friends trailed behind her, the puppy running beside her. She unclipped the armour of the 'liberated' uniform as she went, stopping as she passed the engine room. She stuck her head round the door, seeing several people wandering round, firing up the engine, their disguises already discarded. _

_ "We nearly ready to go?" she chirpily asked. _

_ An older man, in his mid-forties, turned round. "Give us five minutes Princess. We put your clothes next door, so you can go and change."_

_ "Thank you." she called, accompanied by a small bark by her feet. Oh, she was adorable._

_ She quickly made her way to the end of the train, grinning widely at today's success. This was amazing; they were a proper resistance group now, like it had been when Zone's father was still in charge._

_ She turned into the final room. "And, this will be my room." She threw her armour into one corner. "I can have my own place, while staying on base. So, what do you think?"_

_ She turned, arms spread wide, and her grin faded at the sight of the boys' matching looks of horror and disgust._

_ "You don't like it?"_

_ Zone looked as if he was struggling with words, so Watts spoke up instead._

_ "It's just pink…very pink."_

_ Zone nodded mutely. Her hands dropped to her hips and she rolled on the balls of her feet. _

_ "I was twelve when I choose the décor."_

_ "Pink?" Zone finally managed to get out._

_ "Okay, setting aside my taste when I was a kid, what do you think of the train?"_

_ "Yeah," they said, a little distracted before finally shaking themselves from their shock. _

"_It's great," Watts grinned, "an excellent idea Princess. The soldiers will have a tricky time catching us if we're always on the move."_

_The grin returned to Zane's face and he nodded in agreement. The puppy suddenly dashed in and leapt up onto a sofa bed in one corner. She quickly found a spot beside her change of clothes. She moved over and returned to lavishing the small animal with attention. _

"_Have you been making yourself at home in my room? I think you have, haven't you?"_

_Beside her, Watts picked up her long woollen coat. "What about the 'Forest Angels?'"He stared at the wings painted on the pale blue background._

_Rinoa didn't stop patting the puppy as she looked up at him. "You've just lost any right to say anything bad about my room after that suggestion. I least I have the excuse that I was a twelve year old girl."_

_Zone looked over the other boy's shoulder at the wings. "We could use a bird though. Doves? They're the symbol of hope and peace. So we'd be like Timber's hope."_

"_I don't know," Watts murmured, "They're a bit passive for a resistance group. We need a stronger animal."_

_Rinoa was struck by inspiration again. "What about owls?"_

_The boys looked at her. "As in, wise old owl?"Watts asked._

"_Well, I was always taught that they represented good fortune."_

_Watts smiled and seemed to be growing fond of the idea. "They're birds of prey. Attackers. Strong. I like it."_

_Zone seemed to jump on board with them. "They're woodland birds as well. They used to live around here before the forest was cut down. It'd be like the woodland owl swooping down to kill the city rats. Timber striking against Galbadia."_

_She smiled up at them. "The Forest Owls it is then…"_

(&)

…Rinoa looked down at the sight of her sleeping husband. A small smile tugged at her lips. He'd had an exhausting last few days. Everything was being turned upside down in his life, his relationships shifting and changing. It didn't help that he was getting nervous about the babies. She didn't think he regretted his answer all those months ago, when she asked if he wanted her to have an abortion. The excitement was still in his eyes but there was also an equal amount of apprehension in there as well.

She hadn't lied when she'd told him that she knew he would be a good, no, a great father, but she was starting to think that nothing she would say would make him feel better about it. No, he needed to find out for himself. His fears weren't silly or unfounded, she knew how he felt.

She lay down beside him, cuddling as close to her husband as she could.

"You're not the only one nervous about the babies."

This was, after all, new to her as well. However, her fears didn't lie with matters that she could do little to change. What if they didn't stop crying? Could she deal with twins? Would she be like her father and push her children away? What if Squall never came back from a mission? She had her worries like he had his. They were just very different types of fears. She refused to let them overwhelm her though. She trusted in Squall and herself, and she wanted this little family of theirs.

Her lover's fears would fade eventually. She just wished she could do something to help him along.

**End of Timber Owls**

There you go. Another long chapter, maybe I should keep an eye on that. Oh well, hope you enjoyed that, and before anyone says anything; yes, I know the train is yellow, not blue, but I'm going on the assumption that they'd paint the train if they stole it.

Ah, yeah, a couple more random things. A) Thank you very much to the Harechan who is my 100th reviewer, and to everyone else who has reviewed this fanfic. I'm so happy, I've never gotten this many reviews before.

B) Right, you know in chapter 10 I said that that was about the half way point…yeah, well, that's kinda looking like that was a slight underestimation. So we have quite a few more chapters to come.


	18. Slideshow

**Slideshow**

"Hello again, I was starting to think you'd never come back."

Laguna looked up at the waitress, Carla, and smiled.

"Yep, we've had a busy few weeks but we're back. Well, when Squall gets here anyway."

He glanced back outside to see if Squall was coming. It was a cloudy day, an indication of the approaching autumn.

"Did you want your usual?"

He turned back to her. "I'm sure Squall will, you know him."

She laughed. "He had something different on Tuesday."

He shifted, curious. "He was here earlier this week?"

"With Rinoa. Her stomach's getting big now, isn't it? I think Squall's getting nervous though."

"Really?" He already knew it was true, but he was curious to know how she had figured it out.

She looked amused. "He had a parenting book."

Laguna couldn't help but grin. He wasn't a fan of the things; he tried reading one once out of curiosity and thought it was rubbish. He was all about instinct. Squall reading them though? Oh yes, he could see then being right down his alley. It provided the logic, structure and theory that Squall felt he needed. Still, the image of the commander reading a parenting book was just priceless.

"Please tell me he ordered a hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows."

Her eyes flicked up. "You can ask him yourself."

Laguna looked round to see his son walking into the café, a folder under his arm. Spotting the older man, he took the seat opposite him.

"Afternoon Laguna." He turned to the waitress. "Carla."

"Afternoon Squall. Your usual, or the same as last time?"

"My usual."

"And Laguna?"

"The same." Nodding, she turned away.

Laguna examined the man before him. He looked well, the only physical sign of the encounter from last week was a faint discolouration on the left hand side of his face, and even that was hard to see. His own injury was hidden, but still ached.

"How are you?"

"Well. You?"

"You know how it is, you get shot and it aches for weeks after, but I'm good. I don't have as much on my plate as you do."

Squall didn't answer his comment directly. "How's the hunt going?"

He wasn't sure if the commander was avoiding the subject, but he decided to simply let the subject die. It didn't really matter.

"Finished. We think we rounded up everyone who was involved, but we'll still be keeping close tabs on the groups and any others that decide to form in Esthar. Galbadia has done the same on their end." Feeling the urge to move away from such a depressing topic, he continued with, "Have Selphie and Irvine come back from vacation?"

"A couple of days ago."

"They didn't run into any trouble then?"

"Not as far as I know. Selphie was upset when she heard about our little…adventure, but I talked her out of coming back early."

"That's good. They had fun?"

Squall shrugged, but Laguna caught a hint of something not quite as nonchalant as he wanted to appear. "I assume so. They managed to relax, go shopping, get married, have a massage, a few drinks."

"I guess that…" he paused as the words caught up with him. "Wait, did you say that they got married?"

The president could have sworn that there was a hint of irritation in the other man's reply.

"Yes."

"Wow, that's some souvenir. I'd have settled for a key-ring. You seem annoyed?"

"I just thought that they would want to be married with everyone around them. Especially considering the way Selphie went crazy when helping Rinoa with ours. I guess they just couldn't wait." Laguna wasn't entirely sure if Squall was annoyed because they didn't have a big wedding or because Squall had to and his friends had gotten away with not. "It doesn't matter; they said they'd have another wedding for everyone."

He reached into his folder as Carla came back with their coffees. They thanked the waitress as she set them down and Squall pulled out a card and pen as she turned and left.

"Rinoa thought you should sign this as well."

Laguna was staring to interpret 'Rinoa thought' as 'I don't want you to think this was my idea.' He took the card and looked at the front. 'Congratulations' was stamped across in large capital letters. Below it was a picture of the happy couple, hand drawn with impressive skill.

"It's a great picture, who drew it?"

Squall took a sip of his coffee. "Zell."

Laguna's eyes flew wide. "Zell?" He didn't think Zell could sit in one place long enough to draw something like this. The boisterous lad was just not the type of person he saw as being a quite remarkable artist.

"Who do you think designed his tattoo?" To be honest, Laguna had always assumed that he'd just picked it out of a book somewhere. "He doesn't draw often though, he prefers to be active or doing metal work. He made our wedding rings," He held up his left hand to illustrate his point. "And Rinoa's engagement ring."

The older man's eyes rooted themselves to the wedding band; it was interesting. When he first met the young SeeD, he always wore gloves but, since marrying, he'd only seen Squall wear them on a couple occasions. It was a small, subtle sign of the pride with which he wore the ring. The SeeD moved his hand back to the mug of coffee, before Laguna could really focus on any of the details.

"I just never thought of Zell in that way."

He flipped the card open and looked over the inside, scanning the names and messages: Squall and Rinoa's, which was clearly written by Rinoa, Zell and his other half's, a perky happy little note, and the Kramers', a serious and insightful passage. He picked up the pen and thought, trying to think of something that was very him. Of course, he'd have to put down Ellone's name as well. Pity she couldn't sign it herself, he thought.

"It must be odd, everyone moving on with their lives and away from each other."

His son shrugged. "Not really and we're not drifting apart, we just have our own lives as well. It's not like when we all left the orphanage."

"What was it like when the others left?" He moved the card as their food arrived.

Squall frowned slightly, thinking hard. "I don't remember them leaving. I remember beforehand, an open day, and then, gradually, they left. Between that, their actually leaving, I don't remember anything."

"Open day?"

Squall picked up a sandwich. "A bad choice of words perhaps. Couples looking to adopt a child often came on a certain day, it happened twice a year. I suspect it was to make life easier all round. You may not know, but the building isn't in the most convenient location. So, transporting a large group of couples together was easier. Matron would gather us all together in our best clothes and put on a little show. Splitting up the under sevens and over sevens."

"What did you do?"

"A play…"

(&)

…_It wasn't a show worthy of the playhouses of Galbadia or even the local theatre in Balamb. It was perhaps five minutes long, arranged the day before. There were no lines to remember, Edea simply read out the story and they played out the parts._

_Quistis had been given the role of the sorceress, much to her joy. The little blonde's only disappointment was that she wouldn't have any speaking parts. She begged and pleaded until Matron had caved in and given her a small line. _

_No doubt in an attempt to make the boy more likeable, Seifer had been given the role of Sorceress' Knight. The boy was probably more thrilled about this than Quistis was about her starring role. He never stopped talking about it and insisted on watching that damn film over and over again that night. _

_Squall had been given the role of the knight's loyal and trusted companion, much to the dismay of both boys; neither wanted to be associated with the other in such a way. Squall argued that he wasn't a 'side kick,' while Seifer crossed his arms and stated that the other boy could be his servant. Matron quickly stepped in before it could turn ugly and firmly told both boys that __nothing__ was changing._

_Zell was to be Seifer's horse while Selphie was to be Squall's. While Zell wasn't very happy with his role, Selphie seems thrilled. After the announcement, she ran round the building making clip-clop noises. Finally, Irvine got the role of the evil king. _

_They were dressed to impress on the morning of the open day. All wearing their best clothes to look as presentable as possible to prospective parents. As they were finishing the set up of the play room, the door opened and Cid walked in. _

"_Mr. Cid!" Selphie ran towards the older man from where Matron was tying up the big pink bow on the back of her black dress. She grinned up at the man. "We're doing a play." _

_Cid crouched down to her height. "So I hear. What is your play about?"_

"_A sorceress and her knight."_

_He chuckled and looked to his wife, raising an eyebrow. "Oh really? Did Mrs Kramer choose the play?"_

"_As a matter of fact I did."_

"_What excellent taste."_

"_Are the guests here?"_

_Cid stood. "Kelsey is just giving them a talk now; the general run down- explaining that we currently don't have any children over the age of fourteen here and so forth."_

_As he finished, the door swung open and Edea turned to the children. _

"_Okay, are you ready?" The children nodded. "Then take your places."_

_The children ran to the edges of the 'stage' and sat down, legs crossed with hands in their laps. _

_Couples filed into the room, taking their seats in front of the children. Kelsey stood behind them, waiting until he was needed again. Cid went to stand beside the door, perhaps to prevent any of the adults making a desperate break for it in the middle of what was sure to be an atrocious show. _

_When everyone was settled, Edea stepped before them. "Good day everyone. Thank you for coming all this way and welcome to the Kramer Orphanage. I hope you all find what you're looking for here, but before I let you mingle and talk to the children, we'd like to give you a little show. In a few moments, our over sevens will give you a small talent show, but before the under sevens will put on a small play for you. So, without further ado, I present to you the under sevens."_

_Edea stepped to the side, behind the children. _

"_Once upon a time, there was a beautiful sorceress." Taking her queue, Quistis stood and moved to the centre of the stage. Clothed in a long white dress and her hair loose, she fit perfectly into the part. "She was very powerful, and she ruled over a beautiful kingdom, but she was very lonely because she had no knight. So one day, she thought to herself…"_

_Quistis chewed on her bottom lip, looking round the audience nervously. _

"_One day she thought to herself…"_

_Again, Quistis simply looked nervously at the crowd._

_Edea decided to move on. "She th-"_

"_I must find a knight for myself!" Quistis suddenly blurted out. _

_The audience chuckled quietly and then someone applauded. The single clapping encouraged others and Quistis smiled pleasantly, a rosy tinge on her cheeks, but happy she had apparently done well. _

"_So the sorceress sent out invitations to all the knights in the surrounding kingdoms." As Edea spoke, the blonde girl handed out empty envelopes to the children sitting round the edge of the stage. "They were for a grand ball in which she would choose who would be her knight."_

_Quistis went to sit back down and Irvine leapt up, taking his seat in a sofa, draped in red cloth, at the back of the stage._

"_In one of the neighbouring countries, there ruled a wicked king." Irvine grinned as his part was mentioned. "His kingdom was not beautiful and wealthy like the sorceress's and his people did not love him. When he heard of the ball he thought to himself…" Irvine held up a finger to his cheek and looked thoughtful, causing another ripple of laughter to run through the room. "He thought to himself that he must convince the sorceress to be his queen, so that his kingdom may be as great as hers. So off he went to the ball."_

_Irvine hopped off his 'throne' as all the young children crowded onto the stage to play the ball guests. He and Quistis stood confidently at the front, the blonde encouraged by her earlier success, but the children behind them shifted awkwardly, not sure what they should be doing. A dark haired girl bit her nails while a ginger boy picked his nose. _

"_Amongst these guests was a brave knight," Seifer appeared at the front, grinning widely while Squall trailed behind him. "-and his loyal friend."_

"_Servant!" Seifer objected._

"_His loyal _friend._" Edea's tone brooked no argument and she continued. "The brave knight and the sorceress met and it was love at first sight." A few in the crowd ahhhed, as the two children avoided each other's gaze. "She knew that she wanted to make him her knight. However, the evil king saw this and knew that she would never marry him. So the king kidnapped the sorceress and took her back to his kingdom."_

_Irvine grabbed Quistis' hand and ran round the stage, weaving between the children moving back to their places round the edge until there was only one child. In the middle of the room stood a little red-haired girl, staring up at the ceiling, lost in her own little world and completely unaware that she was supposed to have left the stage already. _

"_Charlotte!" Matron whispered, but the girl didn't hear._

_On his last circle round, Irvine seized her hand with his free one, jerking her along with them. Surprised, she looked around wide-eyed. Thinking quickly, Edea continued._

"_When he entered his castle, he took the sorceress to the top of the highest tower and locked her there." The children ran to the sofa and Quistis climbed up to stand on the furniture, accidently kicking off the red draping as she did so. "He placed a spell on her, so she couldn't do any magic and stationed a guard at her door to watch over her."_

_ Irvine whispered something in the little red-head's ear and ran off to the centre of the stage. The little girl returned to her vigil of the ceiling, her thumb finding its way into her mouth in a very un-guard like manner. _

_ "The brave knight heard about what had happened. He and his loyal companion-"_

_ "Servant!" Seifer objected._

_ "He and his loyal _companion_ swung up onto their noble steeds to ride off to rescue the sorceress."_

_ Seifer and Squall their hands on their 'steeds's' shoulders._

_Selphie grinned at the audience. "Meow."_

_ A ripple of laughter spread through the room. _

_ "That's not the noise a horse makes," Edea said in a stage whisper._

_ "Selphie is a cat," she decided to announce._

_ "Cat's a too small to ride." Zell dutifully pointed out while Squall thought about how horses couldn't talk either._

_ "I'm a really big cat!" she gasped. "I'm a lion."_

_ Squall's eyes lit up. "A lion," he breathed._

_ Seifer glared at him and turned to Matron. "If he's got a lion, then I want a dragon!"_

_ Matron's smile might have been a bit strained by that point and Squall had a feeling that what swayed her mind was that he had looked happier than he had for a long time at the idea of having a lion._

_ "Fine. They swung up onto their dragon and lion and raced to the king's castle. When they arrived, the evil king stepped forward to stop them and they fought a tremendous battle while the loyal friend fought off the minions." Well, with the help of Selphie and Zell who decided that leaping around in a mock fight was far more exciting then standing at the side watching, "Soon though, the brave knight was victorious and struck down the wicked king."_

_ Seifer struck Irvine who fell back melodramatically and a few people in the crowd cheered. _

_ "The spell was broken and the knight was free to travel on to rescue his love…Seifer, the brave knight, moved on to rescue his love."_

_ The blond scowled at her, pausing in his gloating over the 'dead' king. Yet, when he saw Squall already by the chair, ready to strike down the guard, he moved on. He was unwilling to have his rival steal away another victory from him. However, before Squall could swing his wooden sword, or Seifer could brush aside the other boy, the girl walked away. She never even looked at the boys, who watched her walk away, matching cheated expressions on their faces. She was far too busy watching the ceiling, oblivious to the play around her, and stumbled into another child sitting in her way._

_ Still, Edea bravely ploughed on. "The guard saw them coming and ran away terrified, so they were able to easily rescue the sorceress." _

_ Quistis clambered down from her perch and stood proudly at the bottom. Seeing the boys still distracted, she nudged them back to the present. _

_ "They were very happy to see each other again and the sorceress named him her knight there and then. The sorceress knight sealed the bond with a kiss."_

_ Seifer turned round and pulled a repulsed expression. "Yurch! I'm not kissing a girl." _

_ Amidst the chuckling of adults, Zell piped up. "Seifer'd rather kiss a boy."_

_ "Would not."_

_ "Would too."_

_ "Would NOT!"_

_ Seifer threw his wooden sword at the other boy. Zell managed to duck and ran, Seifer close on his heels. The two boys ran round the room, one of them threatening to kill the other. _

_ "Seifer! Zell! Stop that right now," the matron hissed at the boys, making a grab for them every time they ran past. In the confusion, Irvine sprang to his feet. _

_ "If Seifer wouldn't do it, then I'll give Quisty a kiss." _

_ In a flash, he was by the girl's side, planting a soft kiss on her cheek. Quistis' eyes went wide and her face turned bright red. She quickly latched onto Irvine._

_ "Irvine's my knight now."_

_ Seifer stopped his chase. "That's not fair; I'm supposed to be her knight."_

_ Taking his new sorceress's hand, Irvine made a break for it, running off the stage to the back door. Squall watched as Seifer was finally stopped as he ran past Cid, wondering if the evil king was supposed to rise from the dead and run off with the heroine. In fact, he was quiet happily watching as the older man tried to calm down the very upset boy. Lost in his musing when there was a shriek of laughter, Selphie tackled him to the ground. Dazed and confused, he lay there as she sat on top of him and gave him a wet kiss on the cheek. _

_ "Now I'm Squall's knight…"_

_(&)_

_ Edea looked down as she felt something stir the skirt of her dress. Squall stood behind her, clutching at the black material as if he could hide away from all the strange new adults in the room. _

_ "Squall, what are you doing? If you stay here then no one can meet and talk to you."_

_ He buried his face into the skirt. He didn't want to talk to anyone. He felt a hand on his head and he looked up into Matron's kind face._

_ "Don't you want a new family?"_

_ The boy shook his head. He wasn't interested in these new people; he didn't want to leave, not yet._

_ The woman crouched down to his height. "Why not?"_

_ "I'm waiting for Sis to come back for me."_

_ There was pity in her gaze as she spoke softly to him. "Squall, Ellone isn't going to come back."_

_ Squall bit his lower lip, willing himself not to cry. He wasn't going to cry, he was going to be strong so that Sis would want to come back for him._

_ "Did she get taken away by another family?"_

_ "Something like that."_

_ The boy bit down on his lip harder and he felt the matron's arms wrap round him. Surely his sister wouldn't be willing go unless... he really wasn't good enough for her. When some woman had wanted to take him away, he had screamed and shouted. He wouldn't be taken away from his beloved sister. _

_ "Hey Squall, you not joining in?" Edea let go of the boy as Cid came over and ruffled the boy's hair. _

_ "Why don't we all go together and see how everything is going?"_

_ She stood and took Squall's hand, guiding him to the couples and orphans scattered throughout the room, her husband on his other side. Kelsey quickly came up to them. _

_ "I think the Kinneas's would like to talk to you."_

_ "Thank you, we'll see them now." _

_Edea stirred them to the centre of the room where Irvine stood with two adults. A woman crouched in front of the Squall's friend, no older than twenty. She looked immaculate. Her soft golden blonde hair was styled into a bob at her jaw line, not a strand out of place. Impossibly blue eyes shone as she talked to the child before her, chin on her hand, her arm sporting a gold watch. She wore a baby blue designer dress that reached midway down her thighs and a matching jacket. Squall just knew she couldn't be comfortable in those three inch heels, he never understood how women walked in them. Around her neck hung a diamond pendant and that even he knew cost more than the entire orphanage. _

_Everything about her screamed money, but it was at odds with her accent. Or at least Squall though so. The woman tilted her head back and spoke to the man behind her._

"_Oh, I do adore him sweetheart. I wanna take him home right now."_

_Her husband smiled down at her, implying he was simply humouring her wishes rather than a genuine wish to adopt. A man in his forties with greying hair, he was far less dressed up than his wife; a simple dark brown suit, black shirt and no tie. That being said, there was a sense of effortless classiness about him. _

"_Whatever you want," he said in an accent so different to his wife's._

_Cid stepped forward. "Mr and Mrs Kinneas, I see you are interested in adopting Irvine."_

_Mrs Kinneas reached forward and hugged the boy. "I do want lil' Irvine. I can take him today, right?"_

"_That shouldn't be a problem. We've had all the checks done before you came, so all that's left is the final paper work."_

_Edea tugged on Squall's hand, pulling him away and continuing their tour of the room while Cid dealt with the adoption proceedings. _

"_See, Irvine is happy to go away."_

_Squall looked back over his shoulder. He won't be so happy in a few days when he's missing Selphie, but he didn't have time to think on the matter too long as they stepped by Quistis, her hair now pulled back into a ponytail, and the adults she sat with. Kelsey stood talking to the grown-ups._

"_Oh yes, Quistis is one of our brightest children. She's well above her age group average."_

_Edea stopped. "Are you considering adopting Quistis?"_

_ The woman looked up and smiled. Her young face looking severe by the tight bun her black hair was pulled into. She had a notepad in the lap of her dark trouser suit, while her husband had photos and reports on several of the children._

_ "We'll have to talk about it when we get home, make sure we choose a child that would be best suited and comfortable in our household. We don't want to rush into a bad decision."_

_ "Of course not, I'll let you get back to your conversation then."_

_ Again Squall was pulled onwards, avoiding Quistis' smile. They moved towards the table that held nibbles and drinks, where peals of laughter could be heard. Selphie stood there, a little blonde girl in front of her. A headband with cat ears rested on Selphie's head._

_ The spunky girl looked wide eyed. "Where is it?"_

_ The little blonde shrieked with laughter. She was a couple of years younger than the other girl and she bounced up and down so much that her plaits flew about her._

_ "On your head!" the blonde nearly shouted through a fit of giggles._

_ Selphie reached up and took it off. "How did it get there?"_

_ "I put it there." The girl seemed to think this was the funniest thing in the world._

_ Edea smiled down at them. "Having fun?"_

_ The two girls grinned up at her and the little blonde waved for her to come closer. Matron crouched down and Squall watched as the little girl placed the cat ears on the woman's head. This caused her to scream with laughter again, jumping up and down._

_ "It's on your head!"_

_ "Rebecca gets along so well with Selphie."_

_ He looked up at the woman who spoke. A kind looking woman, not large, but by no means slim either. Her long chestnut hair was tied into a loose ponytail and she had a permanent look of merriment. The man beside her was a man, his hair grey but he didn't look very old at all. A pair of reading glasses dangled in his hand. They were one of the few couples in the room that didn't look dressed up._

_ "Have you decided to adopt Selphie?" The question was starting to sound repetitive to Squall now._

_ The two girls grinned up at Mrs Tilmitt, who smiled back. "I think we have, but there might be one small problem."_

_ Edea stood, removing the cat ears as she did so. "Oh?"_

_ "We can't take her home today. We'll have to move into our new house first and that may take a few months. We just didn't expect today to go so well."_

_ Something hard struck the back of Squall's head. With a small 'ow,' he dropped matron's hand to rub the painful spot. He turned round and glared behind him. It took a matter of seconds to find the culprit. Under the other end of the nibbles table sat Seifer. He'd already lost his tie and his shirt was untucked. He grinned up at rival, who frowned back. _

_ He took a couple of steps towards the boy. "Seifer, that hurt."_

_ "Go and cry then. Wanna go and play?"The two phrases sent two completely different messages._

_ "We have to stay here in case anyone wants to talk to us."_

_ Seifer wrinkled his nose. "Nobody wants to talk to us."_

_ Strictly speaking, that wasn't true. A couple of people had tried to talk to Squall, but he'd refused to answer._

_ "What about that lady from earlier? She was talking to you."_

_ The blond boy grinned. "She got upset when I called her fat, but she wasn't as mad as that man I stole the toupee from."_

_ Squall smiled at the memory. "Don't you want to go to a home?" Everyone else seemed to want to leave._

_ "Nah, they'll just send me back again." He suddenly looked dubious. "You don't wanna go, do you?"_

_ Squall shock his head and Seifer grinned. "Well, come on then. 'Let's ditch this joint, it's dull as hell,'" Seifer quoted from a film that, technically, they shouldn't have seen._

_ He turned back to Edea- "No, we found Rebecca." -and then Seifer spoke again._

_ "There's no point staying here." Squall turned back to his 'friend' and nodded. He was right, and soon the boys had slipped out of the lounge to play in the privacy of their own room. Uninterested in the prospect of a new home and a new family to be rejected from…_

_(&)_

_ "_…You sound as if you were all quite a handful."

"I suppose so."

Laguna drained the last of the refill. "I'm assuming that was what you and Seifer were like when you got along?"

"If you want to call it 'getting along.'"

The older man grinned. "I do." The smile faded. "It sounds like Seifer had been adopted before?"

"He had, a couple times, but they'd always send him back after a few weeks. They'd realise that they weren't up to the challenge after all and pick a child who was more subdued."

"I see." Laguna couldn't help but find that a little sad. "So, Selphie has an adopted sister. Was she, you know, at Trabia Garden when it was hit?"

"No, she left Garden quite early. She knew what she wanted to do and it wasn't something that Garden catered to. I can't remember what she does, but I know she went to a local school instead."

"Well, it has been an interesting day, but before I forget." Laguna reached into his inner jacket pocket and pulled out several envelopes. "Here, for you and your friends."

Squall looked down at the names on each envelopes; Himself & Rinoa, Irvine & Selphie, Zell plus one and Quistis plus one. He looked back up at the man.

"What are they?"

"Invitations, to my twentieth anniversary as president of Esthar, it's a ball and dinner in a month or two. I'm sorry for getting them to you so late. I was supposed to bring them to you the week we made the cribs, but I forgot. We gave the other invitations out weeks ago. It'd be embarrassing if I forgot to give ones to the SeeDs that defeated Ultimecia. We'll provide accommodation for you all. If you all like, you can even come over a week early and make it a short break."

Squall nodded, not really sure if he'd really take the president up on his offer. However, he was sure that Rinoa would be keener on the idea than he was. He was sure she'd love the opportunity to get off the island for a week or so.

**End of Slideshow**

Opps, I swear, soon I will stop making these chapters so long and get back down to the normal length. They just refuse to stay under 3000 words atm. Also I must apologise for my awful, awful attempt at doing Mrs Kinneas' accent. It's awful, I know that, but I suck at writing accents. Selphie's lil' sister…:shrug: I just kinda like the idea.


	19. Dance with the Balamb

**A/N:** I do apologize if this isn't quite up to normal standards. I've had a…stressful few days, to say the least, so while writing and drawing is something of an escape from it, I've been very distracted. Doesn't help that I'm a little foggy with a cold either.

**Dance with the Balamb Fish**

"So, you'll all come?" Laguna asked Squall, his question tinged with hope.

They'd taken shelter inside the café again, due to the increasingly cool weather. Not that Balamb got all that cold. The small fact that rain was pouring down at the moment contributed somewhat.

Squall nodded. "Though Quistis is now combing Garden for a date." Hopefully the Trepies wouldn't find out. If they did, then there would be nothing but competing between them for the next two weeks.

Laguna rubbed his hands together. "Excellent." He paused, wondering if his next question would be considered too pushy. "Did you, erm, you know, want to stay for longer? I'm sure Ellone would love to see more of you."

It was an underhanded tactic, but if it worked…

The way Squall looked at him implied that he also thought that this was a low attempt, but he said nothing on the matter.

"Rinoa likes the idea; she'd like to get off the island for a bit."

"So it's settled. Did you want to stay before or after, or both?" he hastily added, hoping he didn't sound too over excited about this, "I'm sure you'll want a couple of days afterwards to relax. How about you come down in two weeks, then we can do another session and you can relax in the week leading up to the big event, and you can have a couple of days afterwards as well. Sound good?"

Something that could have been described as amusement sparkled in Squall's eyes. "Rinoa suggested the same thing."

The president's smile widened. "It must be a good suggestion then. So, it's settled?"

He realised that he was repeating himself, but he was just so giddy; he didn't actually think Squall would agree to this.

"There are your coffees."

Their waitress appeared and placed their drinks on the table.

"Thank you Carla," Laguna said, beaming at her.

She turned, but Squall stopped her.

"Don't look," he said in a low voice, "but in the direction I'm facing, there is a woman further away. She's sitting by the window, with strawberry blonde hair and drinking a latte while writing in a notebook."

The waitress's eyes flicked up to a mirror hanging on a wall. "Yeah?"

"Have you seen her before?"

She frowned. "Maybe once or twice. Why?"

Squall leaned back in his seat. "She's been watching us."

Laguna's eyes widened and he resisted the urge to look round. "You don't thin-"

"No," Squall cut him off, apparently reading his mind. "Journalist."

The older man relaxed. Okay, while it wasn't great news, it was better than more anti-SeeD groups. It was only to be expected that one of them would turn up eventually. They were tricky little things as he of all people should know, being one of them once…well, sort of.

"Oi! Waitress." A couple of tables away, a young man, more of a teenager, rudely called out. He snapped his fingers as his friend sniggered.

Carla ignored them. "If you like, I can-"

"Hey, girly, we're calling for you!"

Her smile became strained.

"You don't have to go over to them." Laguna was surprised when Squall spoke up for her.

She took a deep breath. "No, the only other waitress is new." She flashed them a genuine smile. "I'll just have to plead provocation if I do murder them." Spinning round, she strode off.

Laguna watched her talk to the table. He was still surprised by how rude people could be to each other. He considered stepping in, but he had a bad habit of making these things worse. Like that bar brawl he started while he was still in the army. Carla seemed like a capable person and he was sure she could deal with everything. Still, he could always step in later as he had another issue to deal with.

"Do you want to leave?"

Squall stirred milk into his coffee, thinking while Laguna watched him. He placed the spoon down and shook his head.

"There's no point. It would look suspicious. Besides, she can't overhear us where she's sitting. As long as you don't start shouting, we should be fine."

Squall took a sip from his drink as Laguna grinned across at him. This was…fantastic! Squall had turned down the chance to leave early. The man in question frowned across at him however.

"What?"

"Five months ago, you would have been out the door before I had the chance to ask."

Squall shifted awkwardly, taking another sip of his drink. Laguna was so tempted to tease him; it always tempting to do so when the younger man was like this. He managed to stop himself though. Since his son's outburst a few months ago, he'd been more careful about what he said. He changed back to the original subject instead. Well, almost.

"At least you know how to dance."

This time, Squall just looked blank. "Huh?"

"For the twentieth anniversary, there's a ball after the banquet. It'll be a bit stuffy for my tastes since I prefer more relaxed settings for my parties, but then, it's all about face. A chance to show off…" Then he realised he was rambling again. "Anyway, Rinoa says that you're a good dancer."

Squall shrugged. "All SeeDs know how to dance. It might be important for a mission."

They were taught because it _might_ be important? He wondered what kind of random things they were taught in case they came in handy for a mission. Okay, he didn't really have to wonder. While Laguna never made it to the end of the list of Garden modules, he did read all the modules that Squall had taken as a student. How would the man opposite him react if he was made aware that Laguna knew all the lessons he had taken in Garden? Not happy, he guessed, but he would understand why. Some of those modules were just…disturbing.

Carla returned, accompanied by the shouts from the rude youths. Still, ballroom dancing was harmless enough. He certainly didn't get that trait from Raine. These little mental notes had become a game he'd started to play, finding new traits and pinning them down to either him or Raine. So far, Raine was winning.

He'd yet to share any of these observations with Squall, but maybe now was the time to test the waters. It wasn't as if he had another story to share with Squall in mind for today.

"Well you definitely didn't get that from Raine."

"I can't imagine I got it from you."

Laguna's heart leapt. Play it cool, he reminded himself. He didn't want to make Squall self-conscious of his slip.

"Hey, I taught her how to dance…"

_"…Oh no you don't." Laguna reached forward and grabbed his wife around the waist, hugging her to his body._

_ She laughed, her hair falling forward. "Laguna, I don't need to learn how to dance."_

_ The man leaned forward, his lips brushing against her ear._

"_Dancing is a very useful skill to have."_

_ "How exactly?"_

_ "It's perfect for seducing beautiful young women."_

_ She shook her head, trying not to laugh. "There are so many things wrong with that, that I don't even know where to start. Maybe, with the obvious fact that I'm not going to be looking to seduce any young women any time soon."_

_ "That's a relief."_

_ "And, the idea that beautiful women will fall in love with anyone, just because they can dance, is ridiculous."_

_ "Hey, it's a tried and tested method." At least, all the boys at school who were good dancers seemed popular._

_ "By who? You? You're a dreadful seducer."_

_ "You fell for my irresistible charms," he began, lowering his lips more to kiss her jaw, "Mrs. Loire."_

_ She leaned into his touch. "Only because I'm the only one who will have you."_

_ His lips moved down to the crook of her neck, kissing her again. "I wouldn't have it any other way."_

_ He brushed aside the strap of her summer dress to kiss her shoulder-_

__Squall frowned across at him, looking very uncomfortable. "I thought this was about teaching Raine how to dance."

"It is. Aren't I allowed to kiss my wife?"

Squall looked at him levelly. "Just skip over that part."

Laguna sighed and moved on….

_ ….She looked so beautiful. With her head rested against his shoulder, eyes drifting close. It was tempting to skip the dance lesson. He quickly straightened and spun Raine round, catching her by the waist and hand. He grinned mischievously at her startled expression. Damn, he was smooth. _

_ "So, let's dance."_

_ Extremely pleased with himself, he stepped back and...tripped over a stool that stood behind him. He crashed heavily to the floor just when he thought he was being so sleek and cool as well — the injustice of it all. _

_ "Are you alright?"_

_ He looked up, wondering how his wife had remained standing. She looked a little worried, but mostly she looked like she was thinking he'd gotten what he deserved. Feeling the heat rush to his face, he quickly looked down and moved the stool out of the way._

_ "We need space," he announced, busily moving objects to the edges of the room. "You choose some music. A waltz would be best."_

_ She moved across the room to the music cabinet. He scrambled about, trying to create a clear space for them to practice and simultaneously pretend he hadn't just embarrassed himself. He could hear Raine shifting through the CDs and then, a drawer opened. _

_ "It will have to be a record," she said, pulling a large disc from the drawer._

_She moved over to the record player and started fiddling around. In the meantime, Laguna stepped into the centre of the room, stopped in time to see his wife place the pin on the spinning record so music could fill the room shortly after. He held out his hand, which she took, and he pulled her close. He smiled down at her, placing her right hand on his shoulder. _

_ "You just want an excuse to get close to me."_

_ Laguna took her other hand. "Do I need an excuse?"_

_ She looked up at him, giving him a small closed mouth smile. "Not anymore."_

_ He paused, savouring the moment. "Okay I'm leading, the guy always leads, so you just have to follow me. I step back with my left foot." He moved as he instructed her. "You need to step forward as well. You're supposed to mirror my actions." She nodded, looking down to make sure her footing matched his. "Now, I move my right foot, in an 'L' shape. There." Raine hastily followed. "Now the left foot. Okay?"_

_ "I don't think so."_

_ "We'll go again. This time, the opposite way."_

_ He stepped forward with his right foot. The only problem was that Raine also stepped forward, into Laguna…and with the wrong foot. He gave a small cry as Raine bashed into him. Exasperated, Raine stepped away from him. _

_ "Forget it. I can't dance."_

_ Laguna's face fell. "But we've barely started."_

_ Seeing her husband's dismayed expression, Raine shook her head. "I'm sorry Laguna. I can't dance. I've never been able to and I never will."_

_ She crossed her arms to make her point clear. He had hoped that she'd last more than five minutes since she wasn't normally the kind of person who gave up so easily. Guess she really didn't have any interest in learning to dance. Unless…_

_ Raine looked at him suspiciously, recognising the look on his face. "What are yo-"_

_ She gave a small yelp as Laguna swept her off her feet, literally. Grinning like a fool, he repeated the waltz steps, carrying her bridal style. She desperately clutched at his neck as he spun her round. _

_ "Put me down before you drop me!"_

_ "I'd never drop you." At least, he hoped he wouldn't. "This must be easier for you."_

_ "Yes, very clever. Now will you put me down?"_

_ "Only, if you promise to let me finish teaching you how to dance." _

_ It was wonderful that he could be like this with Raine. He could say things and not get tongue-tied or feel stupid. He could do things without getting a cramp and falling over himself. He didn't have to worry about messing up or embarrassing himself by looking like an idiot, because, Raine already knew he was one and loved him anyway. _

_ Her forehead connected with his shoulder. It would have been a frustrated movement if it wasn't for the soft laugh that escaped her. _

_ "Why do I put up with you?"_

_ "Because I'm witty, charming and smooth."_

_ She laughed harder. "You are many things, Laguna Loire, but you are not witty, charming or smooth."_

_ Purposely overplaying the dismay he felt, Laguna yelped, "Raine! How could you?"_

_ "Does that mean you'll put me down?"_

_ "You need to promise first."_

_ She sighed. "Fine, I promise."_

_ He grinned triumphantly, setting her back on her feet and taking the starting position. _

_ "I can't believe you want to spend our free evening together teaching me how to dance," his wife muttered._

_ "I guess you'll just have to learn quickly then, so then we can move onto more grown-up games."_

_ Raine actually rolled her eyes at that. _

_ He slowly took her through the steps, guiding her as she stumbled, tripped and fell through the slow version of the waltz. Then, slowly but surely, she improved until she stepped in time with him. _

_ "See, you picked it up quickly." Well, not really, but he wasn't going to tell her that._

_ He lifted her hand and kissed her ring finger. A wedding ring wasn't on that finger, or any of the others; they didn't have wedding rings. With no real job, he had no source of income and therefore, no way to buy a wedding ring for his wife. Not unless monsters suddenly started dropping gil. _

_ He hadn't even had a proper wedding, not that there was really anyone to celebrate with; their union was quite the scandal in the village. He had no family that he cared to include, just Kiros and Ward so it had just been him, his friends, his bride and, of course, Elle. There were no grand wedding dresses, just a simple white summer dress and Elle's best clothes. He was content with it, but was Raine? Weren't girls supposed to dream about their wedding day for years? _

_ "I'll buy you a ring, both of us a ring," he suddenly told her._

_ "Hmmm?" Raine looked up._

_ "Wedding rings. If Timber Maniacs likes my article, then they'll pay me for it and maybe give me a job. Then I can get us wedding rings." He hesitated before continuing. "I'm sorry I couldn't give you a big wedding day."_

_ "I don't mind." When he didn't look convinced, she continued. "I had you and Ellone there. I didn't need all the trims and frills."_

_ "I thought it was every girl's dream to have a big wedding."_

_ She gave him a level look. "Laguna, we live in Winhill. It has a population of five hundred people. A big fairytale wedding would look rather out of place here, especially with only five people there."_

_ "I know, but…"_

_ "This is me, not one of those city girls. I don't need a big wedding day."_

_ "I know, I just…I'll buy you a wedding ring."_

_ She rested her head against his shoulder and he realised that their waltz had slowed to a soft sway. He promised himself to buy those rings, even if he had to borrow the money from Kiros. _

_ But as it turned out, he hadn't needed to. He had gotten the job and bought the rings and gave one to her in a field on the outskirts of the village under the light of the moon. It was also the last time he ever saw her…_

"..See? I can dance."

"If you say so."

"Is it really so hard to believe that I-"

Laguna didn't get a chance to finish. Across the café, a chair banged loudly as it was knocked to the floor. The rude man from before stood up and he was reaching out to grab the waitress. Laguna was on his feet, but he barely took two steps when he blinked in surprise as the man's arm was jerked to a stop. Squall was already standing there, his hand firmly on the man's arm.

The youth looked at him. "Who the hell are you?"

Carla looked nervously between the two. "Squall, I'm fine, really."

Squall ignored her, speaking to the youth instead. "I'd pay and leave if I was you."

"Says who?" He tried to yank his arm out of Squall's grip and failed. Across the table, his friend looked unsure about what he should do.

Carla tried again. "Commander, you don't have to get involved."

The man's eyes widened. "Commander?"

His eyes flicked up to take in the scar before rest of Squall's appearance.

"Forget it." This time, Squall let him jerk his hand away. He threw the commander a dirty look, but walked away.

"Hey," Laguna called after him, "-you forgot the bill."

The man turned to glare at him. "What!"

"You haven't paid."

"My mate'll get it," he said before he marched from the café, trying to preserve his pride while his friend dug around in his pocket for the money. Laguna moved to stand with Carla and Squall as the waitress turned to the SeeD.

"Thanks."

"Yes, very nicely handled."

The trio turned to see the reporter standing there, pad in hand. Damn it. He didn't have time to feel proud of Squall. Not only did his son step in, but he was the first one there.

"Who are you?" Squall's response was direct as ever.

"Charlene Carmen. I'm a reporter." She held out her hand, Squall didn't take it. Not wanting to seem rude, Laguna took it instead.

"I guessed."

She dropped Laguna's hand. "Really? What gave me away?"

"You weren't very subtle about watching us."

She grinned. "Most people don't notice. Okay, if you're so observant, what newspaper do I work for?"

Oh dear. Laguna wanted to warn Squall to be careful; she was getting flirty. While he knew Squall wasn't going to fall for any of this woman's charms, there were ways of twisting what he said and did. And Squall wasn't great on PR at the best of times.

"You're Galbadian," he stated, noting her accent, "so, the 'Deling Star?'"

She looked surprised. "You'd you know?"

"The Galbadia Standard has better things to report on."

Most of the customers snorted in laughter and the woman's jaw clenched slightly. Oh boy, funny, but really not the smart thing to do. He really didn't think Squall needed spiteful comments in the tabloids at this point in his life.

"What about the 'News Today?'" she asked.

"They tend to just get a photo and make the story up."

The smile returned to her face. "Well, now you know my name and who I work for, why don't you answer some questions for me?"

"No thanks." Squall turned back to his table, but she stepped in front of him.

"I'm just wondering why the _President_ of Esthar and the famous Garden _Commander_ are having a meeting in a small town café?"

"If you think we're talking about business then you have to go through the Garden Public Relations department."

Her eyes sparkled. "And what makes you think that I thought you were talking business?"

Squall raised an eyebrow. "What else would you think?"

"What if I think it's a personal matter?" She was baiting him, Laguna just knew it. She clicked her pen on. "So, can I ask you a few questions?"

"You can ask, but you won't get an answer."

"And why would that be?"

"Because, as the name suggests, my personal life is personal and my business is not up for discussion unless you go through the appropriate routes."

"You're being very evasive."

Laguna nearly burst out laughing. "He's evasive on every matter."

The reporter turned to him. "You sound as if you know the commander well?"

Laguna rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, I'm not sure many people know Squall _well_, and I don't think I can really include myself amongst them. I guess I just talk too much; I never let anyone else say anything. It's like the first time I meet my buddies, Kiros and Ward." He started guiding her to a table as he nattered on, glancing at Squall over the top of her head. His son gave him a grateful nod and quietly slipped out of the building. "It was during the first training exercise. Carla, why don't you bring us a couple of coffees? You do drink coffee right? Of course you do, all reporters drink coffee. Where was I? Oh yeah, my first training exercise…"

**End of Dance with the Balamb Fish**

Hope that wasn't too bad. I think this is the chapter that I'm least happy with. Never mind, I'll make the next chapter better. Just need to find of a flashback…

By the way guys, I don't suppose that any of you are going to kitacon (2011)? It's just, I'm still looking for more people to join us in this group: h t t p : /w w w ..uk/forum?c=showthread&ThreadID=3779 Feel free to adapt what you like if you do wanna do it, we'd just love to have some more people join us.


	20. Intruders

**Intruders**

Squall sat in his office, desperately trying to ignore the newspapers that sat on his desk. Cid had given him four missions to assign to SeeDs and they needed his full attention. That was a small lie; they were basic missions that he could assign any SeeD to, but the lie helped to keep his mind on the task at hand and away for the newspapers. Still, his attempts seemed pathetic as the bold names that were stamped across the tops of the broadsheets, the 'Galbadia Standard' and the 'Esthar Call,' seemed to catch his eye every time they slipped from his mind.

He picked up a pen to sign a document, only to have it run out halfway through his signature. Letting out a small growl of frustration, he threw the pen in the bin, but as he reached down to take another from his drawer, his mobile rang. The chirpy tune automatically identified his caller. Picking up the object, he saw Laguna's name flash across his screen, accompanied by the dancing cartoon version of the caller. He'd forgotten about that.

He flicked the phone open, he already had a feeling that he knew what the president was calling about.

"Laguna?"

"Squall! Glad to see you kept my name on your phone. Erm, have you been reading the newspapers this week?"

Squall's eyes flickered up to the treacherous objects on his desk.

"Yes."

"I thought you probably had. I guess this means that we're not meeting this week?"

"Zell went past the café earlier this week; it's filled with reporters and the like."

"So, a no go then." Laguna sighed. "I guess it was only a matter of time before they all started showing up and taking notice. I don't know which ones are worse — the ones who think the meetings are personal, or those who think they're about business. Some of the ideas that the 'business meetings' camp have come up with are insane. Did you see the 'News Today' on Monday? They were seriously suggesting that Esthar is getting ready to invade Galbadia."

He paused for Squall's reaction, but when none came, he just carried on.

"Anyway, the Esthar Garden theory is popular. The 'Esthar Call' is very keen on that one but people online are all pointing out problems with that theory and all the others. The newspapers seem to be leaning towards the 'personal meetings' idea now. More sensational I guess, or they ran out of ideas for business meetings we could be holding."

Yes, Squall had become very aware of that fact. It was the reason that his newspapers were unread and would most likely remain so. Although the higher-brow newspapers preferred to focus on the professional side of the matter, it still had a way of worming its way in and the tabloids that had no reservations in publishing what they wanted.

They seemed to take great pains in examining the depth, or potential depth, of the relationship between the two men and the possible implications it held. It was just lucky that enough people, especially Estharians, had pointed out that Squall's father-in-law was a Galbadian general and so it hardly mattered if he was friends with the President of Esthar. That was what they claimed anyway. While it was a relief to have that seed of thought nipped in the bud, he couldn't help but feel annoyed that people doubted his professionalism.

However, now the newspapers had grown bored with just discussing the subject of the meetings and had turned their attention to the personalities of the two leaders. It was all started by their new reporter 'friend,' Charlene Carmen, when she stated in the 'Deling Star' that it was _'strange that two men, of such drastically different characters, should come together so regularly.' _She then went into a detailed analysis of each man's personality. Squall, not being the most social person on the planet …well, it was obvious the kind of 'observations' she had made about him. It reminded the SeeD of why he had originally forged his cold persona. It was never pleasant finding out how the general public saw you and, unfortunately for him, he found himself only a little better equipped to deal with it now than in his youth. Yes, it was far easier to forge a reputation, which you knew how people would react to.

"At least a lot of them seem to be getting bored with it," Laguna continued, "as we haven't turned up at the café for days. Though the 'Esthar Call' seems to be determined to-"

"Did you ring to discuss the paper's gossip pages or can we move on?" Squall hastily interrupted, brushing the papers on his desk into the bin.

"Oh, yeah… you really don't like this do you? I mean, I knew you don't like this kind of thing, but I guess I never realised how uncomfortable it makes you."

"And you like it?" Squall's voice held a tinge of irritation.

"No, but, you know, none of it is true, so it doesn't bother me so much. They haven't understood us at all; it's all just guesses and lies."

"That's not the point. I," Squall pinched the bridge of his nose, "I just don't like people talking about me."

"I'm getting that." Laguna sounded sincere. "If you feel like that, then do yourself a favour; don't type our names in together on the net."

Squall dropped his hand. "Why?"

"Let's just say that teenage girls have suddenly taken an interest in _us_. Just take my word for it and don't look."

The commander resisted the urge to ask more. After all that had happened this week, he could do without knowing what went on in the minds of teenage girls. At least, until he had teenage girls of his own.

"I'll take your advice."

"Good. Hey!" Laguna suddenly sounded excited. "It's gonna snow in Galbadia tonight!"

"That's across the world to you," Squall pointed out.

"Yeah, but…snow."

"So?"

"It's snow. Come on, you must have gotten excited about snow as a kid?"

"It doesn't snow in Balamb and rarely in Centra."

"But it did snow?"

"Two or three times."

"You guys must have been little horrors."

"We weren't that bad…"

_…Squall burrowed deeper into his blankets to keep warm, retracting a stray foot that had escaped at some point during the night. He could hear one of the boys that he shared his room with moving about. Someone would be round soon to get him up, but for the moment, it was too cold outside of the blanket to get up. _

_ There was a loud bang as his bedroom door burst open and bounced off of the wall. Squall sat bolt upright in the bed and the boy dressing cried out in alarm. _

_ "Squall!" _

_ He barely had time to register the voice as Ellone's before he found something cold and wet hit him squarely in his face. Ellone laughed and Squall scooped the substance from his eyes in time to see his sister run round the corner. Rather put out by his rude wake up call, he looked down at his hand and saw…_

_ "Snow!"_

_ His previous issues with the cold was now the last thing on his mind as he half scrambled and half fell from his bed. He quickly tore off his pyjama bottoms and replaced them with same jeans he'd thrown on the floor the previous night. Jerking open his chest of drawers, he found a pair of socks and, hopping round the room, he put them on. He didn't bother replacing his pyjama top, just shoving a jumper over his head instead. With the tedious job of dressing done, he ran from the room after his elder roommate while Seifer dug through his own pile of clothes to find something to wear. _

_ The front door was wide open, and he could see several children were in the hall, putting on boots and coats. _

_ "Don't forget your hats, gloves and scarves," Kelsey told the children as he over saw their dressing._

_ Squall went to the wellies that stood under his name, taking his outdoor clothes from his hook. _

_ "Don't forget to zip up your coat," the assistant called to Squall._

_ After he had finished putting his outdoor clothes on, Squall turned to run from the house. As he left, he passed Matron, serene as ever in a black coachman's coat, carrying a footie pyjama-clad Selphie in her arms._

_ "Matron, I wanna play in the snow."_

_ "You need to get dressed first; we can't have you running around in your night clothes. You'll catch your death."_

_ Squall dashed out of the door, and quickly spotted Ellone throwing another snowball at Joshua. Grinning, he crouched down and moulded his first snowball of the year. Running towards her he took aim, threw it and missed. The snowball zipped past her head. Turning, she grinned at Squall, her cheeks already rosy. Eyes sparkling, she bent down and started gathering another ball. Not willing to be caught defenceless again, Squall quickly crouched and hastily gathered snow into another sphere. As he straightened up, another snowball hit him in the chest. He threw his own at his sister, however it fell pitifully short. She grinned across at him, but Joshua came at him, ready to throw his own missile. Squall ran backwards, trying to avoid the ball, grinning madly all the while. The older boy threw the ball and, laughing, Squall ducked and the sphere flew over his head and straight into the side of Zell's face. _

_ Ellone bent over with laughter, but it only lasted a moment as she found herself as the next target. A large snowball struck her on the back of the head. Behind her, Irvine whooped, one of his arms piled high with snowballs. Picking up another orb from his arms, he threw it at Joshua with shocking accuracy. Seeing where this was going, Squall quickly scrambled together another snowball. However, he failed to compact it enough and it fell apart as it sailed through the air. Irvine looked smug as he took aim. The snowball clipped Squall's shoulder as he moved out of the way._

_ It happened then. Squall felt the collar of his coat and shirt yanked back, almost choking him, and a handful of snow was shoved down his back. Crying out in shock, the boy jerked away and turned round, trying to shake the snow out. A grinning blond faced him, backing away. _

_ "Seifer!"_

_ Squall made to grab him, but his rival moved away, out of his reach. Turning, he fled and Squall gave chase, occasionally shaking snow from his back. Seifer ducked into the house and Squall skidded to a halt. He set about making a large snowball, one that would barely fit in his hand; he'd get Seifer back. _

_ He passed Selphie and Kelsey in the hall, the assistant helping the girl dress._

_ "Selphie," the exasperated Kelsey said, "For the last time; no, you can't see if it is possible for Irvine to roll you onto a giant snowball."_

_ "But, you let Seifer do it to Zell last year," the little girl protested as the helper zipped up her coat._

_ "We didn't let Seifer do that, he just did it."_

_ "Well, can't I just do it?"_

_ Squall spotted his opponent in the doorway to the living room. Lifting his arm, he prepared to fire his gloriously-large snowball and get his revenge on the other boy. Seifer came into full view and-_

_ "Squall!" The boy jumped at Edea's shout, nearly dropping the ball on his foot. "No snowballs inside the house."_

_ "But-," he began._

_ "You'll hit something and break it," chimed Quistis from behind the matron, the girl's arms filled with random objects. _

_ "But-"he tried again. _

_ "No buts," Matron firmly stated._

_ It was very unfair, Ellone had thrown one at him this morning, and that had been inside his bedroom. _

_ "Why don't you help Quistis build a snowman; she's got lots of things to decorate and dress it with." Edea continued, trying to shepherd the children out of the house._

_ "I want to build a snowcat," Selphie announced._

_ They never did make a snowman, or a snowcat for that matter, they got distracted halfway through with trying to make the largest snowball they could. They managed to roll it to twice their height (perhaps not a difficult accomplishment for a group of three year olds), and took most of their gang to roll the thing around. Of course, by that stage, it looked more like a giant hay-bale and Edea made them stop because she claimed it was getting dangerous. _

_ Their afternoon only got better. After lunch, Seifer was sent inside for throwing a large stone hidden inside a snowball at Zell, which made them all glad as the boy had spent the morning either trying to destroy their beloved giant snowball or tipping snow down their backs. They finished the day with hot chocolates in front of the open fire while Edea told them a story about a pair of lovers in the snow. _

_ It wasn't the most exciting or extraordinary day of Squall's life at the orphanage, but it was one of the happiest. Happy enough for it to be one of the memories to stay with him the longest, even after the names of his friends faded from his mind…_

"…You know, from your past stories, I was expecting you to roll the giant snowball into the living room, or turn the house into a winter wonderland."

"Sorry to disappoint you."

There was a moment of silence in which Squall found his mind drifting back to his present issues and problems.

"Squall, don't let these newspaper articles and gossip get to you. I know you don't like it, and I get that, but everyone who matters knows it's all rubbish. It will soon blow over when they get bored, probably when they turn their attention to my anniversary instead. Trust me on this one; it's happened to me before. When Esthar first opened its borders, Galbadia went crazy over everything to do with us, especially me. The 'Deling Star' even started implying I was incompetent. 'Cause that all stopped after we sent…erm, forget I just said that."

Squall shook his head. "One of these days you're really going to put your foot in it and no one will be able to help you out."

"Kiros has been telling me that for over twenty years."

"It'll happen one day."

"'Til that day, I'll continue being my delightful self. Anyway, I'd better go. I have documents to sign, plans to make, a country to run and reporters to avoid. I'll see you next week. Ellone will come and meet you at the airport."

"'Til next week," Squall hung up the phone.

Laguna was right, he knew that, it was just harder to ignore and push this out of his mind than Laguna made it sound.

Opening his top drawer, he reached inside for that new pen he needed, but his hand hit something else instead. Looking down, he saw his fingers resting against the parenting book he had bought. He'd read it, twice in fact, and found it as disconcerting as he found it informative. While it was comforting to know what to expect, and know that the babies weren't going to explode if he fed them the wrong food or something similar, so much of the advice for father was just so unlike him. He just couldn't see himself doing half of them.

When Rinoa had said that he would fall into the routine quickly enough, and then it would all feel natural, even Caraway had agreed with her. When he still didn't seem sure of himself, she had added that they would find their own way of doing things. The advice given by the book was only that, advice. It wasn't cannon law, it wasn't like loading a gun; there wasn't a specific way to do all of this. The problem was that, now when he thought about it, his mind drifted back to one of the nastier cartoons that one of the newspapers had printed about his coming fatherhood.

He picked up the book and flicked through the pages, a small smile tugging at his lips. There was one big difference now though. Before, when he had first started to read this book, the pictures had overwhelmed him and twisted his stomach with nerves. Now he looked at the photos, the proud fathers and blissful mothers with their little ones, and he felt a tinge of excitement where there had been fear. He was really starting to believe that, just maybe, he could do this.

**End of Intruders**

Woot. Sorry for the wait guys, real life is not as easy as I would like it to be. Anyway, I had quite a bit of trouble deciding what to do in this chapter, but after we've had so much snow in England and the coming of Christmas, I decided to do something Christmasy (especially as this should go up around Christmas). So, Merry Christmas everyone. I hope everyone has a fantastic day, whether that means great presents, delicious food, or the loving company of family and friends.


	21. Shuffle or Boogie

**A/N:** First off, I must apologise for the long update time. You see, I now have a part time job. I know what you're thinking; isn't that one of the signs of the apocalypse? Well possibly (took me over six months after graduating even get this one), but it means that I have far less time to write now. I'll have more time in April as I won't be trying to do loads of stuff for cosplaying, but I'll try to get an update up during March.

**Shuffle or Boogie**

When Laguna had invited Squall for a 'guys' night out,' he'd half expected them to end up in some seedy Esthar strip club. So he was pleasantly surprised when Laguna led them into a jazz bar. The lights throughout the establishment were dimmed, letting the stage spotlight outshine them, making it clear who the star of this bar was. In this case, it was a pianist singing as he played a song that, though Squall could not identify, felt vaguely familiar. The room was dark enough for Squall and Laguna not to stick out as people of note, not that the customers here seemed to care. They seemed more engrossed by the live music than they could have ever been by two powerful world leaders.

Laguna guided his guest to the bar at the rear of the room, far back enough for orders and quiet small talk to be made without disturbing the main entertainment. While bar stools lined the counter, small round tables stood closer to the stage with a small candle in each of their centres. It was the kind of place that Rinoa would have liked. It was certainly an interesting change for their meetings.

Laguna stopped by the bar and the barwoman leaned forward to take their order. The president was careful when he spoke to keep his voice low. "A house red and…?" He turned to Squall, waiting for his order.

"A whiskey," was Squall's short reply.

"On the rocks?" the woman behind the bar asked.

"Yes."

"Single or double?"

Before he had a chance to answer, Laguna had replied for him. "A double."

"I'm fine with a single."

"We're out for the night. Have fun, relax. A double," he repeated to the woman, "and we'll make a tab."

She smiled and went about making their drinks, leaving Squall to wonder just how 'relaxed' Laguna intended to get him tonight. He may have had no objection to having the occasional drink, he even enjoyed it, but he wasn't really one for getting drunk. He liked being in control of his body too much. However, he found that when one doesn't get drunk a lot, one tends not to know their own limits. Besides, he didn't think Rinoa would be happy if she woke up tomorrow morning to find him passed out on the floor, that or she'd find it so funny that he'd never live it down. Either way, he didn't intend to find out.

There was a soft clink as his whiskey was placed before him. Laguna lifted his own glass and took a seat on a barstool, twirling to face Squall.

"So, what d'ya think?"

The pianist hit the final cord and a wave of applause swept through the room. The man took a bow and several of the stage-crew rushed forward to move the piano back from the front. Realising that there was a short intermission, people flitted towards the bar and bathrooms and yet, the pleasant atmosphere from before was never broken. It was more like a group of friends playing for each other than anything else.

"It's the kind of place that Rinoa would appreciate more than me, but it's nice."

"Maybe I should have brought Rinoa instead."

"Maybe you should have, but you'd have to put up with her cravings all night."

Laguna's eyes widened. "She's still craving?"

Squall shrugged. "The doctor said it wasn't at all unusual, but she's craving different things now." That and different smells – that had been an unexpected twist.

He turned, picking up his drink and leaning against the bar, ignoring Laguna's grin.

"She must have you running out to get things at all hours of the night."

"Not really, she always seems to have what she wants."

"Handy."

Squall suspected it was less 'handy' and more magical. He wasn't entirely sure how Rinoa was using her sorceress powers to acquire substances to satisfy her cravings, but he was certain that that's what was happening. Unless someone could explain how, in the space of a couple of hours during the dead of night, their cupboards managed to fill themselves with apples. Of course, now it wasn't apples, though he wished it was. He loved Rinoa with all his heart, but he just couldn't watch her eat melted vanilla ice cream poured over oven chips. Oh, and they HAD to be oven chips, not fried or microwaved, oven cooked.

Looking back at Laguna, he realised that the other man had drifted off into a world of his own, watching the people around the stage. "It's changed a lot."

"The bar?"

"What? Oh, no, Esthar. It's changed a lot since Adel was ruler. I mean, the buildings and streets are the same, but the people are completely different. I can't believe I've been president for twenty years."

"Neither can I."

Laguna grinned across at him. "I thought you were going to give me more credit." He took a sip from his drink, still with that infernal smile on his face. "Though, to be fair, Esthar isn't the most democratic country; it's had too many dictators and sorceresses for that. Someone tends to come to power and stays there until they lose it and someone else takes it from them. They claim that's why their science and technology is so good, because they have stable rulers. I think they're just trying to justify the past and political system." He turned to look back at the stage. "I never thought I'd be here for so long. Two months, I told Elle, not two decades. I just kinda became president."

"You have to be the only world leader that just happened to fall into the job."

"Says you, Mr. Commander."

"I know exactly how I got this job," Squall countered. "It was shoved on me against my will. I didn't just wake up one morning and realised that I was commander." To this day, he couldn't understand why Cid had made the decision he did. Why him?

"We make quite the pair. I somehow became the president of one of the two most powerful nations in the world, and you became the commander of the most influential paramilitary organisation because you happened to be in the right place at the right time to take a rogue mission. Makes me wonder what your kids are going to do."

Squall's reply was deadpan. "With the way things are going, they'll probably get into space exploration, crash on a distant planet and discover a new species that declare them their ruler."

"Squall, is that a joke?"

No, he was being _completely _serious, he sarcastically thought. The SeeD gave the other man a level look as the lights dimmed again and people settled down. A violinist stepped onto stage. Standing before the microphone, she spoke a few words about her first piece.

"You know," Laguna leaned towards him, speaking quietly, "I met someone in a bar like this…"

(&)

_…It turned out that his first mistake was bumping into the large man, spilling his beer all down the man's front. The second had been mistaking the man's sister for a guy. The third, and last, was trying to explain why neither of these were his fault. _

_ As the bulky siblings and their friends advanced on him, Laguna wondered how he managed to always find himself in these kinds of situations — the kind of situations that left him with grave injuries. Maybe fate truly did hate him or maybe something really good was going to happen to him later in his life and karma needed to balance things out first. _

_ Kiros's voice appeared in his head. 'It's your own fault. If you thought about what you were about to do and say, then you wouldn't find yourself in these situations.'_

_ 'Yeah,' Laguna mentally retorted, 'and maybe this wouldn't happen if you hadn't gone and gotten yourself lost.'_

_ The voice remained quiet. However, that still left him with the current, very physical problem. A fist shot out towards him and Laguna watched as it came towards him. His luck really sucked._

_ But fate seemed to be smiling down on him and, for once, it wasn't the sadistic kind of smile. There was a hand on his upper arm that pulled him out of harm's way. The bulky man, who he mentally called Mister Ugly, stumbled and turned to glare at them. _

_ "What!" was all Mr. Ugly could manage._

_ "I think our friend here has learnt a valuable lesson." a new voice spoke, his rescuer. The hand moved from his arm to pat him on the shoulder. "I'm sure he's very sorry, so why don't we let the matter lie."_

_ Laguna turned towards the new man. He looked rather out of place in the miners' bar. His brown hair was fairly short; his fringe occasionally falling into his eyes while a thin layer of stubble lined his jaw. He was neither attractive nor ugly. He was leanly built, though not weedy. Not a tall man by any count, but he couldn't be considered short either. Overall, he was an entirely unremarkable-looking man. That was, if it wasn't for his clothes. _

_ A long brown, weather-worn coat was a sharp contrast to his rather untidy smart clothes underneath. A dark blue waist coat was unbuttoned, revealing the sky blue shirt that was tucked in, but the buttons near the collar were undone. He would have looked like a business man, coming to a local bar in order to have a drink after a hard day's work — or he would have if his tailored trousers hadn't been mud splattered and worn at the hem. _

_He looked more like a messy school boy, but if Laguna looked closely, he could see mended tears in the shirt where the material had been ripped by an object more dangerous than a branch or overly excited child. It was strangely set off by the soft, almost gentle look in the other man's eyes, which were almost as travel-worn as the rest of his face. Maybe it was this that made him seem older than he was, for Laguna knew that this new man had to be younger than him by several years and yet, he seemed so much older than Laguna. _

_He had to be a traveller. However, why would a traveller, apparently of rather rough terrain, wear a three-piece suit? But then, why was the Trabian miners' bar they were currently in, a jazz bar? Did Trabian miners have a particularly strongly liking for jazz? If so, they could have fooled Laguna. _

_ Mr. Ugly, on the other hand, seemed to have other matters on his mind. "This is none of your business, so stay out of it."_

_ "Ah, well you see, I can't do that. I may not be keen on violence as a solution to all of life's little problems, but," and he pushed back his long coat to rest his hand on the handle of a gunblade, "I have a moral objection to six-to-one fights." _

_ The room went very quiet. The stranger's index finger tapped against the handle of his weapon, while Mr. Ugly tried to figure out if it worth the risk. The tense silence stretched on, making Laguna wonder if he should start looking for cover. He was beginning to really wish that he hadn't left his gun in his room when the bulky man spun round and marched out of the bar, taking his friends and sister with him. With the potentially-exciting spectacle gone, people returned to their own business and the pianist in the corner started playing again. _

_ "Are you alright?"_

_ Laguna turned to his saviour. "Yeah, thanks for that. You really saved my neck back there."_

_ "You're welcome. The local men in some of these Trabian towns are a little sensitive. They're bulky and loud, but at least they tend to know when to back down." The man gave him a curious look. "You're not from around here are you?"_

_ "Noooo. Just stopping through and looking for some information."_

_ "I see. What kind of information? I'm not from these parts, but there's a chance I could help you."_

_That was unexpected; he didn't think he'd find another visitor in this backwater town. "Where are you from then?"_

"_Here and there. I'm based in Centra at the moment, but I have to travel a great deal to 'bring home the bacon' in a manner of speaking. My wife stays at home to look after the children."_

"_A family man."_

"_Yes and no."_

"_Yes and no?"_

"_They're not our kids, we just care for them."_

_Laguna felt instant approval for this man. Anyone who travelled the world to support his wife and children, who weren't even his, couldn't be disapproved of. _

_He grinned across at his new companion. "That's perfect. I'm looking for some people. One was kidnapped, a little girl, and the other two, erm, I lost them."_

_The man raised an eyebrow. "You lost them?"_

_Laguna rumbled the back of his neck. "Yeah, it's a long story. We were running from this huge…let's just cut the story short and say I ended up battered and bruised and had to be nursed to health in Shumi Village. Which, by coincidence, is pretty much how I met the little girl and my wife in Winhill." Laguna resisted the urge to grin. He loved saying that; his wife. _

_Rather than seeming concerned or worried at Laguna's 'accident prone' tendencies, the other man just looked amused. "These kinds of things happen to you a lot?"_

"_Yeah, I guess it does."_

"_I hope you look both ways before crossing the road."_

_Laguna paused, trying to figure out if this man was insulting him or merely joking around. The guy looked as happy as ever and didn't seem to be mocking him. However, the man merely continued, pulling out a chair from a nearby table to sit down. "Tell me about this girl you're looking for."_

_Laguna took a seat opposite him, grinning. "Her name's Ellone. She four and the cutest girl you'll ever meet."_

"_What happened to her?"_

_ "Esthar. Did you know they're looking for a girl to succeed Adel. Apparently Elle was a good candidate because they took her while I was away. I set off to look for her with my two friends, but it's been seven months now and we're no closer to finding her. I have no idea how to get into Esthar or if she's still with them. She may have escaped since she can be slippery when she wants to and I've heard rumours that soldiers from Esthar, looking for successors, often don't make it home."_

_ "So, you're trying to gather information while looking for your friends."_

_ "Pretty much, but I think I may know where to find my friends."_

_ "I'm afraid I can't help you much with getting into Esthar, but if you think she may have escaped, have you tried looking in orphanages?"_

_ Laguna felt a shudder run through him. His Ellone, in an orphanage? He couldn't think about it. She didn't belong there; she belonged at home with her loving Uncle Laguna and Raine. _

_ "You think she may be in one? Won't she be sent home when they find out she has a family?"_

_ "Perhaps, but I know of an orphanage that picks up children from all over the world, even Esthar. I've never thought to ask how they come to be there, but the Matron may have an idea of how you can enter the country. I'm on my way there tomorrow, I'll be happy to take you along."_

_ Was it worth it? Ellone had been missing for over seven months now and it was driving him crazy. He was supposed to have found her by now and returned home. Instead, he was still running round like a crazy man trying to find his invisible cat. As much as he hated to admit it, he was no closer to bringing his little girl home than he was at the beginning of his journey. He was just stumbling around, waiting for an answer to drop on top on him. So could he really afford to turn down the first possible lead he'd had for weeks? He needed to reunite with Kiros and Ward, but he couldn't ignore a possible end to his troubles without even thinking about it._

_ "Where is this orphanage?"_

_ "Centra."_

_(&)_

_ Laguna stared out of the van window as the dull scenery of Centra passed them by. He longed to see a tree, or even a bush, anything but this dull barren wasteland. He looked away from the landscape to turn to his driver. They'd been travelling together for a week now, all the way from that small bar in the middle of nowhere to a van in the middle of nowhere. Not much of a change really – one place was cold, the other hot. _

_A couple of days ago, his companion had cursed and scooped out his contact lenses. Ever since then, he had donned his small square glasses. It gave him a bizarre look, almost like a gunblade-totting butler. He just looked too respectable to be running round the world wielding such a specialised weapon and working as a jack of all trades. _

_ Above them, the heavens rumbled and the first large drops of rain hit the windscreen, making the sky seem darker than ever. _

_ "Are you sure you won't stay the night?"The driver didn't turn to him as he spoke, keeping his eyes on the rough terrain. _

_ Laguna shook his head. "Nah, if this matron knows nothing then it'd be better if I moved on as soon as I can. I'll take the van back to the town and be on my way. I'll help you unload the stuff from the back first. That's one big shopping trip you did there."_

_ The driver chuckled. "The only other settlement on the island, beside the orphanage, is the one we just left. They're supposed to the last remnants of the people that lived here before the Lunar Cry, or that's what they claim anyway. However, as it's a day's journey by car, it's hard to get supplies from A to B, so whenever I swing by, I volunteer to pick up a load. The orphanage is growing quickly; war makes a lot of children parentless and more local orphanages fill up quickly. Ah, here we are."_

_ Laguna looked back out of the front window to see a large building looming before them. Though 'loom' was perhaps not the right word, though he had expected it to be. When 'orphanage' was used, he'd imagined a large grey, depressing building that felt more like prison than a home. He thought a flash of lightning would illuminate the scene: broken windows in a dark house, whose huge rusty gates were bolted shut to keep the miserable children inside as they worked on their sweatshop products in a concrete courtyard. _

_ While the building was large and grey, vines crawled up the walls, adding a pleasant amount to green to the house and a picturesque feel to the place. There was no concrete playground, but rather a large green space - a welcome change from the brown he'd seen all day - and what appeared to be a walled garden. It was nice, like a country house of a wealthy gentleman. _

_ The car came to a halt near the entrance of the building and the driver peered up at the sky thoughtfully._

_ "I think it would be best to take the shopping in later. I don't fancy running back and forth in this rain. It should be over soon enough; rain doesn't tend to stay for long in Centra."_

_ Laguna sagged in relief. "You have no idea how glad I am to hear that."_

_ The other man turned to him, surprising Laguna by fixing him with a deadly serious look._

_ "There is one condition before you enter the house: you must leave your gun here. You will have no need for it and some of these children have seen enough guns to last them their entire lifetime."_

_ Laguna inclined his head in acceptance. "Of course." How could he refuse?_

_ The smile returned to the other man's face. _

"_Then let's get inside before we get too wet." With that, he opened the van door, making a dash for the shelter of the building. _

_ When they reached the front door, and cover, rather than knocking, the man reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a single key. A second later, he'd slotted it into the door's lock and twisted it open, the door swinging away from them. Laguna remembered that his first impression, once inside, was how wonderfully warm it was, not just in temperature but in spirit. It was more homely than he'd expected. _

_ He didn't have long to dwell on these thoughts when a small head appeared round a nearby door, the faint sounds of music could be heard from within the room. The young girl grinned up at them. _

_ "Mister Cid! Did you bring more food?"_

_ Beside him Cid sighed, taking off his glasses. "That's the only reason they're happy to see me; I bring food."_

_ The girl giggled and ducked back into the room, announcing their arrival loudly. Cid shook his head, pulling out a dry handkerchief from his shirt pocket to wipe the rain from his glasses. More small heads appeared round the corners of the door, expressions varying from curious to happy. Laguna grinned at them and waved. A little girl blushed and disappeared while a boy returned his grin and wave._

_ "Cid, welcome back."_

_ A young woman, her long black hair swooped into a rushed ponytail, swept forward to encompass the man in a tight hug. Cid returned the embrace, kissing the crown of her forehead._

_ "Hello, Edea," he said before whispering something in her ear which made her smile softly. _

_ Pulling away from the young lady, but keeping an arm around her waist, Cid turned to Laguna. _

_ "This is my wife and matron of this orphanage, Edea. Edea, this Laguna."_

_ "Wo- I mean, nice to meet you Edea." The ex-soldier hoped he didn't look too surprised. He shoved his hand forward to shake hers, trying to cover up his slip. This young woman before him now, she was really quite beautiful, even dressed as simply as she was. Of course, she nothing compared to his Raine — no one was. Still, it surprised him that such an ordinary-looking man like Cid could have such a wife; he just didn't get the 'beautiful wife' vibe from him. It didn't help that when he heard his wife was the matron, well, he'd automatically thought that she was an older woman who had managed to catch herself a husband ten years her junior. The fact that this woman was running this place, looking after all these children, when she was still significantly younger than Laguna...it was a remarkable thing. _

_ Edea took his hand and shook it. "A pleasure to meet you."_

_ She didn't seem surprised by his reaction, and ignored the amused, perhaps even smug, gleam in her husband's eyes. While he seemed amused by his reaction, she adopted an air of indifference. Yes, this was a very mature woman for her age. In a way, she reminded him of his own wife. That mature, dependable and strong aura that seemed to radiate from her was so similar to Raine's, but there was something more down to earth about Raine. _

_ Cid continued to talk. "I brought him here so he could speak to you. I think you may be able to help him. However, I need to change my clothes and get a hot drink and then we'll all need to unload the van." There was a collective moan from the children listening to the conversation. "Come on, if we all help out then we'll have the job done in no time."_

_ He strode into the house, telling the children that it was no use hiding — they'd all have to help out._

_ "So Mr. Laguna, what do you wish to speak to me about…?"_

(&)

"…and I believe that you've seen the rest of that conversation."

For a moment, Squall had no idea what Laguna was talking about, and then one of the more fragmented memories that Ellone had shown him appeared in his mind. He had wondered how that fit into everything.

"I didn't know that you'd met Cid."

"I don't know him well. We were just two travellers who happened to cross paths in a snowy bar, who could help one another."

Squall snorted. "It sounds as if he did all the helping."

"Yeah, but it ruins the poetry of the sentence to say it like that."

"If that's the best you can come up with, then you're slipping. It sounds more like the tag line for an appalling teenage romance novel."

Laguna chuckled. "It does, doesn't it? Maybe I should sell the idea and make a bit of money from it."

"Right, because you're clearly desperate for money at the moment." Squall comment dryly. "Your salary is probably more than the entire population of Balamb Town's combined."

"Nah, there's gotta be a few SeeDs living there." Laguna dismissed in a tone that clearly implied that Squall's central point was correct. "My salary's a fraction of Balamb Town with all those SeeDs in there."

"My heart goes out to you."

"So it should, I'm practically on the street."

"My mistake, I thought that huge building we've been staying in belonged to you."

"Nope, it's Kiros' place. He lets me stay there for a small fee."

Squall shook his head, unable to resist the tugging at the corners of his mouth. He finished his second glass of whiskey and placed the glass back on the bar.

"You are a fool and a half sometimes."

Laguna grinned manically across at him. "Sometimes? Squall Leonhart, I do believe that you are warming up to me. Barman…woman," he corrected himself, "another round."

"I'm fine, and I still said you were fool and a half."

"Nonsense, I'm paying. Ah, I may be a fool and a half, but am I a fool and a half full or half empty?"

Squall just stared at him for a moment before he did something unexpected; he burst out laughing. Several heads turned and glared at him. He hadn't meant to do it, he should have just groaned instead, but he couldn't help it. He had been caught off guard with that one. Laguna could not have looked more proud of himself than he did at that moment.

"Hey, I made you laugh. It must have been a better joke than I thought."

"It's not," Squall said, pushing down his laughter, "It's an awful joke."

"I can live with that." The president swooped up his new drink as the barwoman set it down, lifting it up to Squall. "To truly awful jokes."

Squall shook his head again, but picked up his own drink. "To bad jokes. Our lives are filled with enough of them."

**End of Shuffle or Boogie**

There you go. I hope the length makes up for me disappearing for a while. The flashback part of this was inspired by Cid's line to Squall when he makes SeeD and I thought this would be an interesting route to take with it. That Cid is also a Gunblade master and that's why he's happy to have one join the ranks of SeeD.

So, thanks to everyone who's still reading this fic and an extra big thank you to all those who are still reviewing :D It really brightens my day to see a review in my inbox.


	22. Waltz for the Moon

**A/N: **Wow, I really did disappear for a looooooooong time. Was supposed to get this up like a month ago, after I'd finished with the cons and dug myself from the giant pile of material used for cosplaying (three new cosplays for two cons two weeks apart), but things didn't go as quickly as I planned. Anyway, here's another long chapter for you guys :D (arghhhhh, why is it nearly 7000 words long, I swear these people would not shut up!)

I will say one thing before I begin though; it may be another wait for the next chapter. I was recently accepted for an ALT placement in Japan (squee, I'm going back, I am over the moon about this. Seriously, I put my life on hold for this), but I leave this month and so, as you can imagine, I have a lot to do before then. When I get there, who knows when I'll have the internet, however, I might be able to get the next chapter up before I go, especially as I wrote it ages ago and all I really need to do is type up and edit it. I guess it depends on whether or not I can fit it in.

On a different note, I am very sorry to anyone whom I haven't replied to their reviews, or reviewed, just a little too busy atm, but I will get around to it.

**Waltz for the Moon**

The twentieth anniversary party for President Loire was designed to be the event of the year, no, of the decade, if not the century. A week-long festival holiday was held for the country, filled with celebrations and attractions for the nation. However, the political jewel of this crown was the dinner and ball that marked, to the date, Laguna's official appointment. Every politically-significant person in the world and individuals who had played key roles in his presidency was there, as well as some other people thrown in for good measure.

It was a grand affair — it had to be. The ballroom made Garden's look like a child's playroom, and the musicians made the Galbadia National Orchestra sound like a primary school choir. Esthar had to show the wealth and power that it had acquired and maintained throughout its current president's rule. It was more than the few bottles of beer with his friends that he would have settled for and far more tedious.

The president of Galbadia nattered away to his Estharian counterpart. It was either something very trivial or business hidden under the guise of layers of dull small talk. Whichever it was, Laguna was very tired of it all as the other man just droned on and on; ironically enough, this man was actually more interesting in the meeting room than he was in leisure time. Observations aside, Laguna really didn't want to die of boredom at his own party.

Could someone not rescue him from his truly tragic fate?

Almost as if he was summoned by his friend's mental anguish, Kiros appeared by their side just as the Galbadian president took a deep breath.

"Thank you, Mister President, but I am afraid that there are several people waiting to speak with President Loire. I do apologise."

The Galbadian president looked slightly put out, but gave his equal a dull thank you before going back to the party. Laguna just about restrained himself from hugging his friend in relief.

"Have I told you how much I love having you as my right hand man?"

"Not today. You could have at least tried to look interested in what he was saying."

"Was it that obvious?"

"I'm not sure how he didn't notice that you were about to fall asleep at your own anniversary celebration."

Laguna winced. "I did try, but he was so boring. I never figured he would be. Anyone who wants to see me, and I mean anyone, is a step up from that."

"I'm sure we'll find someone for you. You are the star tonight, after all."

"Sir Laguna!"

The two men turned to see Selphie running towards him — a task that should have been impossible in the stiletto heels she wore. It was odd to see the petite woman five inches taller, but not as strange as it was to see her in black, rather than her usual sunflower yellow. The skirt flowed freely around her, settling just above her knees as she came to a stop before him while two people trailed behind her. Irvine towered over the small group; his suit of deep, dark reds and purples were a welcome break from the sea of black, white and military uniforms that filled the room. The woman that followed behind them however, was completely unfamiliar to him.

She wasn't really tall, but taller than Selphie, not that that was a difficult task, despite looking younger than the brunette. Unlike Selphie, this girl had long, platinum blonde hair, tied up into knot. Her figure was curvier with her white strapless dress settling nicely on the curves. While she looked very different to the smaller woman, there was something deeper, seemingly intangible, which seemed so similar to Selphie. This blonde woman was also bright, happy, had no trouble staying on little Selphie's heels and yet, there was something calmer about this blonde woman. Selphie was like a hurricane that came storming through, while the blonde was more like a bright summer's day.

"Thanks for inviting us, Sir Laguna."

"How could I miss out the saviours of time and space? I just hope you are having fun."

"It's not my kind of music, but it's still fun to dance to and the food was great." Reaching behind her, she pulled the blonde girl forward. "This is my baby sister, Rebecca."

So this was Rebecca Tilmitt? He should have known.

"A pleasure to meet you." He stuck out his hand, taking hers and was pleased to see the young woman match his grin with one of her own that would make her sister proud.

The sister in question leaned towards the younger girl and whispered something in her ear that sent the two into a fit of giggles. Laguna looked up at Irvine, who merely shrugged.

"Thank you very much Sir Laguna, for letting me come to the party." Rebecca spoke for the first time, her voice very different to Selphie's; it was softer and slightly deeper, but so many of the intonations in her speech were the same.

"No problem! You were in town and someone may as well take Rinoa's place." He suddenly turned to the SeeDs. "How is she?"

Selphie brushed the question to one side. "Tired. She gets like that quickly. A big party is a bit much for her right now."

He supposed that made sense since she had to be in her twenty-ninth week so stuff like this had to happen all the time. At least that's what he thought; he wasn't an expert in pregnancies. Still, he couldn't help but worry, making him wonder if this was how Squall felt all the time.

The strumming of a new song started and Selphie's eyes lit up. Grabbing Irvine's hand, she cried, "I know this one!" And without a backwards glance, she ran in her supposedly-impossible-to-run-in shoes to the dance floor. In the centre of the dance floor, she spun around and let Irvine swoop her into his arms and they waltzed well, if not dramatically, round the room.

Laguna turned back to the younger Tilmitt. "I suppose that leaves you." He gave her a low, melodramatic bow. "Miss Tilmitt, would you do me the honour of having your hand for this dance?"

She laughed again; she seemed to be a very laugh-prone person, showing her happiness through the action. She laughed more than Selphie, though, now that he thought about it, the older sister didn't laugh much. She grinned, she bounced and even teehee'd, but she didn't laugh that much. It was strange that he'd never thought about it before.

"How often do I get to dance with a president?" Rebecca took his hand, "It would be my pleasure, Sir Laguna."

He laughed nervously, his free hand rubbing the back of his neck as he led her to the floor. "You really don't have to call me 'Sir,' just Laguna is fine."

"But Selphie calls you Sir Laguna."

"I know," he muttered before speaking up, "I prefer Laguna. 'Sir' makes me sound like an old man."

"I couldn't call you just Laguna though."

He took his first step of the dance. "Everyone else does. Please call me Laguna."

She hesitated and nodded, smiling once again. He watched the young woman as they moved round the hall.

"You really are very similar to Selphie. If you didn't look so different, I'd think you were sisters."

She frowned up at him. "But we are, just like Ellone is your daughter."

How did Laguna keep falling into that trap, he hadn't meant it like that at all. "Of course, I was just thinking about Ellone and Squall and how they are nothing alike. They're completely different."

Rebecca shook her head. "We're not as similar as we seem."

Laguna thought back to his initial reaction to the girls. "I think I know what you mean, but it must nice to get an older sister." Then he remembered something said in passing that could help him unravel the puzzle that was Rebecca. "I heard your parents found you?"

She giggled. "They'd sometimes say that I found them." There was an undeniable tone of pride in her voice, a fondness for the people who had taken her in.

"How did that happen?"

"I was abandoned." There was a frank admission that was a slap in the face and he gazed down at the girl in shock. She didn't seem upset, not a glimmer of a tear in her eyes. She merely stated it as a fact, something that had happened. What had intrigued him however was that she didn't even say it in the way Squall would have, as a way to distance himself from the past. She said it no differently than if she was stating she'd broken her arm as a child. It was so different to Squall's shunning of his memories or Selphie's emphasis on the current happiness, that he couldn't help but want to know more.

"I don't remember why or how, just that I was taken out to the snow plains when I was a very small child and left there. I wandered for a few days until I came to a town, scared and hungry. It wasn't long until I ran into Mum and Dad and they took me in. They just took me home and looked after me; I don't think I'll ever know better people in my life. About a year later, they adopted Selphie."

Laguna was gobsmacked. "How could anyone abandon their kid?"

She shrugged. "Winters are hard in Trabia and sometimes, people find that they can't feed themselves, let alone their children. It still happens but people take them to Garden instead. If nothing else, Garden provides a safe place for children to go in Trabia. Sometimes people just think that it's for the best."

Perhaps to stir the conversation away from the depressing turn it was taking, Laguna followed the discussion to Garden. "So why didn't you go to Garden and become a SeeD?"

"I did. I joined when Selphie did, but I only lasted until I was thirteen. I realised what I wanted to do and Garden wasn't the place to do that."

"So what do you do?"

She beamed at him. "I'm a trainee surgeon."

Laguna spluttered and missed his step. Out of all the occupations, surgeon was one of the least that he expected. Though perhaps that was because the idea of Selphie, or anyone like her, operating on him was, quite frankly, terrifying.

"But doesn't Garden have a medic division?"

"When you're a SeeD, you're a mercenary first and foremost and you work for Garden; they decide who you help. As a medic, you still have to play your part in missions so you still need to master a weapon and kill. It's too restricting. I originally decided to become a doctor because I wanted to help people and I can't do that with Garden, not without undoing all of my good work."

"You're a pacifist then?"

"Not really. Sometimes we need to fight, but it's not something I can dedicate my life to. I can't get that excitement from the prospect of doing the mission, of flying into danger and killing anyone who stands in my way."

"Do you regret leaving Garden?"

"Not at all."

"Never?"

"I was never suited to Garden; a SeeD's life never appealed to me. I figure, why train for a life you don't want? I turned my energies to a better use instead."

"Trabia Garden seems like such a great place to grow up though, like it has a really close community."

"Oh, it does," the blonde rushed to agree. "It's almost more like a family than an institution. There is a sense of community and closeness that Balamb can't reach and Galbadia can only dream of."

"And you don't miss that?"

Rebecca thought for a moment before answering. "Trabia Garden has such a strong community, not only because it's so small, but because the students are searching for more in Trabia. They need the community. I always felt on the sidelines, looking in on a community that I couldn't become fully one with. I had a family and I didn't need anything that Garden could offer."

"But Selphie had the same family as you."

"And before that, she had the orphanage. She loves us very much, she always has, but she also loves everyone from her life before. It left a larger hole than we could ever completely fill. Having the larger community of the Garden came as a relief to her; she could replace that hole she had. Of course," she began to admit, "it may run deeper than that. I have no idea how she came to be at Edea's in the first place, just that it has something to do with the war. Something about being a SeeD appeals to her and I don't know what it is."

When the final notes of the waltz rang round the hall and their dance finished, Laguna still pondering his partner's words.

Rebecca gave him a curtsey. "Thank you for the dance Sir- I mean, Mr. Laguna."

Bobbing up, she turned and dashed towards her sister and brother-in-law. With them standing together as they were now, he could really compare the two women while Rebecca's words chased round his head. He began to wonder if his first observations of the two were just the surface of a deeper, more fundamental difference between the two that shaped the course of their lives. It seemed that, to him, Rebecca had faced her inner demons and conquered them. They lay dead at her feet and banished back to the past where they belonged. Selphie however, had coped by merging with her demons. She had taken them in until they were as much a part of her as the colour of her eyes. She dealt with it by smiling and bouncing, the demons only showing themselves when the darker side of her personality emerged. He wondered what would happen if she stopped smiling.

Still, it had to be better than how Squall had dealt with his past. Speaking of his son…

Laguna looked around him in search for the missing man; he hadn't seen Squall for a good couple of hours.

"He's in the garden," a soft voice whispered in his ear.

The president nearly shrieked as he leapt out of his skin. Spinning round, he came face to face with his giggling daughter, her hand clamped over her mouth to stifle the sound.

"That was cruel." Then her words caught up with him. "Wait, who's in the garden?"

"Squall. That's who you're looking for, right?"

"You're a mind reader, Elle."

She leaned up to kiss his cheek. "No, I just know you very well, but I think we should continue this conversation off the dance floor."

Laguna realised that, lost in thought, he'd forgotten to move from the spot he'd finished his waltz and now stood in the centre of the room as people danced past him, shooting strange looks his way. He hadn't notice the next song starting up.

"I guess we really should move on then." Taking a hold of the young woman, the apple of his eye, he spun her round, stepping quickly as he lead her between the dancing couples and to the edge of the room. He relished in the way Elle laughed at his attempt to leave the dance floor 'subtly.' He let her go beside the large glass doors, open to the unusually-warm autumn night.

"Go find Squall," she said, resting her hand on his arm before she turned back to the party. Laguna slipped out of the elaborate doors and into the pleasant night air.

The presidential gardens lay outside of the grand room, flanking one side of the palace. They were completely different to the traditional parks of Galbadia, more in keeping with the rest of the city, but they still held their own beauty. Especially lit up as they were now, allowing the guests to navigate their way around if they so desired. Not that anyone was interested in a night time exploration of the gardens, not when there were drinks and music so close by. These people were not seeking sanctuary from the party, but rather a slight change of scene, a bench to sit on, or a little bit of fresh air. He could see Squall slinking off into the garden's depths to escape the commotion of the event, however.

Those who noticed Laguna nodded respectively to him as he passed, but none tried to engage him in conversation, for which he was grateful. He hadn't really had a chance to talk to Squall since they had stumbled back from the bar last week, and he really wanted to talk to him tonight.

A waitress walked towards him, balancing a tray of champagne on one hand. Laguna quickly snatched up two glasses without halting his pace in an action that seemed slick to him. Unfortunately the waitress had not been expecting the sudden change in balance and all Laguna could do was watch as the tray veered dangerously to the side, the glasses threatening to fall to the ground and send their contents flying.

Then a hand appeared, strong and most definitely masculine, steadying the tray back into its intended position. The liquid sloshed, but for the most part remained in the flutes. Laguna sagged and the waitress breathed a sigh of relief.

"You see, if you're gonna do that, you have to take it from the centre of the tray, or from both sides."

Recognising the voice, Laguna looked up to see Zell letting go of the tray. He'd lost his jacket somewhere along the way and his blood red tie looked a little wonky over his black shirt. He certainly looked as if he'd been enjoying himself, but he couldn't get over the way the SeeD had slicked back his hair for the formal occasion. It was so…un-Zell-like that he nearly didn't recognise him. Of course, there weren't many people who had that tattoo on their face so it definitely helped identify him.

Seeing the older man's surprised expression, the blond's grin widened. "Hey, you don't become a martial arts expert without learning a thing or two about the centre of gravity."

"He's right about that at least." Quistis appeared by her friend's side.

Oh boy. She looked…stunning — there was no other word for it and, judging from the stares she was receiving, he wasn't the only one to appreciate the effort she had put into tonight. Her pale, gold strapless dress was just the right shade not to clash with her hair and to avoid crossing the line from classy to trashy. The full length skirt flowed freely while the bodice wrapped tightly around her body. A misty rose shrug rested over her otherwise-bare arms and her normally-pristine hair flowed freely down her back.

She raised an eyebrow. "Laguna?"

The man in question jerked his attention away from Quistis's appearance, which would have cramped up his leg over two decades ago, before he'd known Raine. The president moved to rub the back of his neck, until he remembered he was still holding two glasses of champagne. He settled for giving a rather nervous laugh instead.

"Sorry, I guess I've just never seen you dressed up before."

"She looks fabulous, doesn't she?"

A new girl stepped up beside Quistis, an oriental girl in a matching dress. The full length dress fitted snugly to her slim body, so snugly he was surprised she could even breathe. The only relief the dress seemed to offer was a single long slit down one side, but it suited the woman so well. _Watch out Quistis, you have competition,_ he thought.

The blonde woman introduced her friend. "Laguna, this is my good friend Xu. Xu, this is President Loire. I brought her with me tonight."

"Oh," he murmured…and then the words caught up with him, "Ohhhh."

Xu laughed while Quistis crossed her arms over her chest. "She's an old friend who deserves to be here more than a random man I could have picked to be my date tonight."

Zell grinned across at her. "You just couldn't pick someone to be your date."

The blonde sent him a stern look. Deciding to quickly retreat from the situation, Laguna brought himself back onto the reason he had ventured out here in the first place.

"I'd love to say and chat, but I'm looking for Squall. Have any of you see him?"

The three SeeDs shook their heads, attention back on the older man.

"He went that way."

A dark-haired girl looped her arm through Zell's. With her spare hand, she pointed down a path leading into the gardens, with what he presumed was Zell's jacket hung over the outstretched arm. _This must be Zell's other half,_ Laguna thought though he blanked on her name, only remembering that she was the library girl. She was a pretty enough girl in her own right, especially with her hair done up and dressed in a pleasant blue dress, but the way she clung to Zell's arm implied that she wasn't completely comfortable in this setting.

Laguna turned down that route, grinning back at her. "Thanks. I'll catch up with you later, after I drag Squall back to the party."

He just about caught a 'he seems nice' before he stepped out of hearing range and down the garden path. The more he thought about it, the more important it seemed to be to talk to Squall tonight. They weren't just celebrating the twentieth anniversary of his presidency, but also the reason why he had never been able to raise his son, the commitments that had forced him to side-line his family. He had to wonder if Squall saw it this way as well.

He nearly shot past his son, tucked away as he was in a corner, looking up at the stars. What could the great SeeD commander be thinking of as he sat on the bench and gazed up at the heavens? Unlike his friends, Squall wore his uniform, coming as a disappointment to Laguna. He'd been looking forward to seeing what Squall looked like in formal wear.

"I was hoping you'd wear a suit tonight."

Squall looked round at him, so unsurprised that Laguna had to wonder how long his son had known he was there for.

"This is a formal occasion; I have to wear my uniform."

"Your friends didn't."

"I'm the commander, they aren't."

"I didn't invite you here as the commander. Besides, military uniforms spoil all the fun."

"I like them."

Laguna chuckled. "You would." He stepped forward, handing Squall one of the glasses and taking a seat next to him. "How are you enjoying the party?"

Squall looked down at his glass. "It's not my scene. It's easier when Rinoa is around; she knows how to handle these situations. I have no interest in small talk or dancing with the First Lady of Galbadia."

"I hope you didn't turn her down."

"I don't dance."

"I should have known. So, you've come here to escape." Laguna looked up at the palace wall across the garden and grinned. "Still, you picked a fitting place to escape to."

Squall snorted. "What, because it's a _garden_?"

Laguna laughed, happy that, for once, he hadn't been predicable. "I hadn't thought of that actually. Nah, see that window?" he pointed up to the top floor, "That's Elle's room."

Squall looked up at the window. "I didn't know."

Laguna hesitated, wondering if this was the right moment to broach the subject in mind. Maybe it would be better to leave it a while, but then, when would there be a better opportunity?

"Ellone told me that I had a son in that room."

Squall didn't say anything, but there was the silence that Laguna had learnt to interpret as the go ahead signal…

(&)

_...He watched as Elle moved round her new room, examining everything inside._

_ "You can change anything you like and I can get you anything you want; it's one of the perks of being a president."_

_ She smiled back at him. "It's perfect."_

_ He grinned back at her. It was incredible to have his Elle back with him again. Every time he blinked, he was terrified that she'd disappear, vanish back into the recesses of his memories, but then she was always there again when he opened his eyes, his wonderful little Elle. She wasn't his little girl anymore though; she'd turned into a beautiful young woman and not a small part of him mourned not seeing that transformation. What had happened since he'd last seen her? What had changed in her? Was she even the same person? Of course she wasn't, no one was the same person they were when they were five. What if she'd changed too much? But then she'd turn around and give him that same smile she gave him seventeen years ago and he knew that, no matter what had happened or what had changed, it didn't matter because she still loved him and they could build on that. _

_ Elle settled on the window seat, gazing down at the garden below. Laguna took a seat beside her._

_ "So," he said, "What've you been up to?"_

_ He tried to make it sound light hearted, as if they'd only been separated for a weekend, but it sounded lame, even to him. She didn't seem to care._

_ "The White SeeDs were looking after me. They're very nice, it's like being part of a travelling family, but I always wanted to go back to you."_

_ "I'm sorry." he blurted out. "I should've come for you, but I ended up as president and it took so long for me to stabilise the country enough to send for you and Raine and by the time I had done that, Raine had died and they'd told me that you'd never arrived, but now I knew they were ly-" He knew he was rambling, running his sentences together so that he wasn't sure he even made sense anymore, but the words just fell out of him until Elle shushed him._

_ "It's okay, all I care about is that I'm back with you." She threw her arms around the man. "I always make it back to my Uncle Laguna."_

_ The man's arms tightened around his girl. "I should have been there. If I had, I could have…" Have what? What could he have done? Nothing, but at least he would have been there. His throat tightened with emotions that had remained unstirred for seventeen years rose to the surface from the depths where they lay submerged, but not forgotten. _

_ "There's nothing you could have done. There's no way we can change the past, no matter how much we try, not even me…"_

_ Laguna drew away from the woman. "What do you mean?"_

_ She suddenly seemed to change the subject. "Do you know anything about what's happening in the west?"_

_ "You mean, Galbadia, the sorceress, and Garden?"_

_ "Yes. What do you know about the SeeDs at the centre of the conflict?"_

_ "Not much. Didn't really look into it much, but we should have files on them."_

_ "Could you get them?"_

_ Confused, Laguna pulled out his internal phone from his pocket, he speed-dialled Kiros. _

_ "Hey Kiros, you by a computer?"_

_ There was a creak of a chair on the other end of the line. "I am now."_

_ "Can you pull up the files on the SeeDs that are in that whole sorceress sha-bang?"_

_ "Finally taking an interest? I thought you'd be caught up with Ellone for at least a week."_

_ "She wants them."_

_ "Why?"Kiros voiced the question in Laguna's head, to which all the president could reply with was an 'I dunno' noise. _

_ "I spent five years in the orphanage with them." Ellone said, guessing what they were talking about._

_ Laguna's stomach dropped. So she had spent some time in an orphanage? He'd been proven wrong about these places in the past, but the man couldn't help but paint a gloomy image in his head of the place._

_ "Did you hear that?" he said to the phone to cover up his disappointment._

_ "I got it, which ones were she thinking about? There are a lot of SeeDs on here."_

_ "Which SeeDs?" he directed back at the girl._

_ "I'm not sure what their surnames are anymore, but they were the ones who tried to assassinate M-…Edea, the sorceress in Deling City. Irvine, Quistis, Selphie, Zell and," she took a deep breath, "Squall."_

_ "There's a Rinoa Heartilly as well?" Kiros asked._

_ Laguna looked to Elle. "Rinoa Heartilly?"_

_ She shook her head. "I don't know her."_

_ "Forget her, but could you bring the others."_

_ "I'll be there in a few minutes." And the line went dead. _

_Laguna pocketed his phone again before nervously fumbling out, "So, you lived in an orphanage?"_

_ Elle did the most beautiful thing that she could possibly have done then; she smiled. "Yes, it was nice. Matron was so kind; I even saw her after the White SeeDs took care of me, before she lost contact with us. She kept a lovely place and it felt like home. I had a lot of fun during those years, but I missed you. I waited for you to come back."_

_ Guilt twisted his gut again. "Elle, I think we need to talk about this."_

_ She shook her head. "I need to say this first. I tried to change the past. It didn't work, but I tried because I wanted it so much. I can send people back to the past, to live moments through other people. I can watch them while they are in other people's head. That's what your 'faeries' were and that's why Dr. Odine wanted me all those years ago."_

_Laguna nodded, he knew this. He'd seen enough of Odine's notes on his research to see why he was so interested in her, but he didn't want to interrupt the woman. _

"_I'd never tried to change the past," she continued, "but then I stayed at Balamb Garden and I got to see _him_ again. After that, all I could think about was how everything would have been different if things had worked out for the better. I thought that if I could go to the right moment in time, I could change things so we were a family again. I tried to use those children that I'd known in the orphanage to change your past. It was just a dream though."_

_ "Ellone," he sighed, using her full name, "What happened…well, happened. No matter how much we want to change it, we can't. Even if things had changed, there's no guarantee that it's for the best. We can't change the past, just shape the future, no matter how much I want Raine back, or wish our child had lived."_

_ Ellone's eyes went wide and she paled a little when someone suddenly knocked at the door, startling them both. _

_ "Come in Kiros," Laguna called, assuming it was him. As predicted, his friend walked in, but he didn't stay long, just long enough to hand Elle the electronic pad before slipping out of the room again._

_ The woman flipped through the files on the pad before turning the object round to face him. "That's Selphie, she lived at the orphanage with us. She was always so bouncy and cheerful; it was hard to be upset around her. I think she often went to Kiros's mind when I sent her back." She then flicked to the next file. "That's Quistis; she was always bossy and trying to help Matron keep everyone in line, smart as well. She was an instructor for a while, or that's what Cid said anyway." _

_She flicked past a file, too quick for him to see and onto the next one. "That's Irvine, he was always with Selphie, little partners in crime. He's always been a little charmer. That's Zell. He always used to tell on us; he was so worried about doing something that was wrong and Seifer used to pick on him all the time. He is loyal though. I often found he'd be drawn to Ward's mind the most, maybe that's why."_

_ She turned the pad around to face her again, flicking back to the middle file. She looked down at the pad and Laguna could have sworn that he saw nerves swimming in the depths of her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she turned the pad around._

_ "And this is Squall Leonhart," Laguna's breath caught as his eyes fell on the photograph of the boy, "…your son."_

_ Slowly, he reached forward, taking the pad from her hands, his eyes rooted to the picture. The resemblance had hit him straight away; it was like looking at Raine again. That jaw line, his eyes, the shape of his nose, even that serious gaze of his. All of it screamed Raine, and then Elle had said, 'your son.'_

_ He felt his stomach churn and his throat close while his brain seemed to shut down. It was like a steel door had slammed down on his mind, preventing the information from sinking in. All it could do was slam against his thick head and bounce off again. It wasn't as if he was being told that he was g_oing_ to be a father. He'd skipped that stage, as well as the birth, the first steps, the growing up and had gone straight to becoming the parent of a nearly-adult boy whose file he held in his hands. He'd gone from believing his child had been a still born to finding out he'd been living and breathing on the planet for seventeen years. He didn't have time to grow accustomed to the idea of becoming a father, just the knowledge that he'd missed out on his son's life._

_ He didn't know how to feel. _

_Angry that he had been lied to about his son by spiteful, narrow-minded people who had ruined more than one life in doing so? _

_Happy that his boy had lived? _

_Sickened that he had missed bringing up his son, that he'd missed out on a priceless experience? _

_Guilty that he had deserted his son when he most needed it, when he needed a father to take him in and love him? _

_Delirious that he had a son, that Raine had left her mark on this world after all? That she had left behind the most amazing thing, a living, breathing link that was part of him as well? The idea made that hole that Raine had left in his heart smaller, her death a little easier to face head-on. _

_ "Uncle Laguna?" he heard Elle's voice drift over him, "Are you okay?" Was he okay? He wasn't entirely sure that was the word for it. "Is there anything you want to ask?"_

_ Oh yes, there were a hell of a lot of questions. How? When? Well, he was pretty sure he knew the answer to those two questions at least but_,_ who was this boy in the picture, this Squall, his son? That was something he did feel — curiosity. He had the urge to know more about his son. _

_Son. _

_Every time that word came up, it made him feel better…excited even. He wanted to know what his son was like. What were his hobbies? What's his favourite food, colour and subjects? What subjects did he take? What was his past like? What kind of a man was he now? Did he always look this serous? So many questions and yet, all he ended up saying was,_

_ "He has a scar…"_

_(&)_

"…He has a scar?" Squall repeated in disbelief, "That was the best you could come up with?"

"Hey, I was in shock, I didn't know what to say. To be honest, I don't think it really sunk in until I saw you for the first time at the Lunar Base. When I asked you to look after Ellone, I figured I could trust you to do that."

Squall gave him a small nod. "I never realised that was you."

"I knew who you were straight away. There was no way to deny it after seeing you in the flesh, it made it all real. I never really expected to see you in person, especially not so soon after discovering you even existed. Second biggest shock of my life."

The air lapsed into silence, but it lacked the awkward edge that had once been present in their meetings. They had come a long way from the first sessions, when his son was so clearly reluctant to be there, clearly wanting to be anywhere but with Laguna. He sullen attitude betrayed how his presence was out of a sense of duty to his unborn children, rather than to spend time with a man whom he had little to no respect or liking for. Now, while he wasn't sure if Squall liked him per se, the younger man had come close enough to admitting that he enjoyed the meetings and a sense of respect was growing in Squall for the older man. Their relationship had changed. It was enough to give him hope that, by the time the twins were going to be born, Squall could accept him as the grandfather of his children, if not his own father. It was more than he could have dreamt of six months ago.

Standing from his seat, Laguna grinned down at his _boy_. "Come on, let's get back before they send a search party after us, or they find some new rumours to spread."

(&)

"Squall."

The man in question rose wearily out of his dream of moonlight dances and strange revelations, the sound of his name drawing him to the waking world.

"Squall! Wake up!"

The commander blinked, the slight buzz of champagne still flowing through his body, fading away as he dreamt. He wanted to roll over, snuggle up to Rinoa and go back to sleep till the mid-afternoon. The sun seemed to agree with him as it clearly hadn't risen. He presumed the only light in the room came from Rinoa's bedside lamp.

"_Squall…please._"

It wasn't the hand shaking him that dispelled any ideas of going back to sleep, but something he had just realised; there was panic in Rinoa's voice. He rolled onto his back, his left hand falling onto the bed beside him. Squall frowned, his hand hit damp sheets. Frowning, he lifted his hand above his face. It was stained red. _What the…?_

His world started to crack and the icy fingers of fear gripped his heart, daring it to continue beating. He suddenly caught of tendrils of the smell as the realisation of what coated his palm and sheets slammed into him. He knew all too well what it was.

He turned to his wife, taking in her wide eyes and trembling lips.

"Squall," she gasped for the fourth time that night, as if his name could make everything alright, "I'm so sorry."

"Why?" It was such a stupid question, he knew it, but it was all he could say.

Rinoa gasped out a sob. "I think I'm losing them."

**End of Waltz for the Moon**

Erm….bye bye! :zoom:


	23. Tell Me

**Tell Me**

Squall had gone in SeeD mode. There had been panic, fear and sickening dread, but it was momentarily numbed as he let the SeeD in him take over; there were things that needed to be done. After Rinoa had assured, then reassured, him that she would be fine with the doctors for the moment, she asked him to ring her father to tell him what was happening.

So here he sat, alone in the waiting room which allowed the use of mobile phones. Caraway had been in a meeting, but his aide promised him that she would inform the general once it had ended. After the call, he didn't return to Rinoa immediately though. Instead, he stared at his phone, waging an internal war with himself.

Should he?

Shouldn't he?

Should he?

Shouldn't he?

He had no idea how long he'd been staring at his phone before he flicked it open again. He should probably just leave a message and let him know what was going on, figuring the older man would probably wake up in the morning and moan all day because he hadn't told him. This way would be easier all round…

(&)

Laguna's blissful sleep was interrupted by the shrill ringing of his mobile phone, causing the bedside table to vibrate. Groaning, he rolled over and willed the sensation around his head not to turn into a hangover. Damnit, he'd been enjoying that dream too.

He groped around on the small table, looking for the offensive object. His hand landed on other items instead – his clock, a book, a glass of water — then there was a crash — a smashed glass without water, internal phone…how did he fit so many things onto that table? Where was that stupid phone? As his clock joined the glass on the floor, his fingers closed round object of his search.

He winced at the light from the phone and hit what he hoped was the answer button.

"Whatdyawant?"

Silence. Great, he'd been woken up to listen to the absence of sound.

"I woke you. I'm sorry."

Laguna frowned, recognising the voice and sat up. "Squall?"

"Yes."

"Why are you ringing me at," he looked to his alarm clock before realising that he'd already thrown it to the floor, "whatever time it is?"

"It's three a.m," came Squall's reply.

"Erm, thanks?" the sleepy man muttered, not really sure if he actually meant it, "So why did you call me? I'm glad that you want to, but can't it wait till the morning or when you could've come to my room?"

There was another pause. "…I'm sorry, I shouldn't have woken you."

Laguna's frown deepened. Squall's voice sounded different, more strained; there was something wrong, he was sure of it. Throwing off his covers, Laguna swung his feet out of the bed.

"It's fine, which is more than I can say about how you're sounding. What's up?"

Another pause and he reminded himself to try and fix that nasty habit Squall had of over-thinking everything.

"It doesn't matter," the other man muttered. "I shouldn't have called at this time. I'll call-"

"Squall, I'm awake now, so why don't you just tell me what's wrong? I'm worried about you. If you hang up now," he stood to pick up his clothes, forgetting about the smashed glass on the floor, "I'll just- Argh! Shit! The fu-" He fell back onto the bed, clutching his foot as blood seeped out of the cut and he muffled the profanity on his lips.

A couple of guards burst into the room, guns at the ready. Laguna held up a finger to silence them as Squall spoke.

"What_ is_ going on in there?"

"Nothing, just cut my foot," he said, more to the guards than his conversation partner, "and don't change the subject. Where are you?"

"I'm at the Presidential Hospital." Oh dear, this was going to be bad. "Rinoa, she started bleeding, a lot. I had to take her to the hospital."

"I'm coming down," he said, watching the guard clear the glass shards into a bin.

"You don't have to."

"I'm coming down. I'll be there in ten." He looked round the room as the second guard reappeared, carrying a medi-kit and switching the light on. "Actually, make that twenty."

(&)

He'd never seen Squall look so lost and tired. The younger man sat on a chair positioned outside one of the maternity rooms. His elbows rested on his thighs, his hands clasped between his knees as he stared down at them, his eyes distant. Laguna would have given anything to know what was going though the other man's head. He slowed his brisk walk as he approached the man. Squall never looked up. Laguna crouched down in front of him, looking at his son's face.

"Squall?" Laguna's hand fell on his shoulder and the younger man's head shot up, his eyes returning to the here and now. If this was under different circumstances, he would have felt a smug satisfaction at that surprised look on the SeeD's face.

Laguna smiled slightly. "Sorry," he offered, "How is she?"

"They're in with her now. I think I'd just be in the way in there; they don't seem keen on me hanging around. I don't know what will happen, if any of them will be okay. Rinoa is strong, but the twins…" He buried his head in his hands. "I've spent so long doubting that I can be a father and now I might lose them." He took a deep, shaky breath. "I'm terrified and I've never been terrified before, not even when I wandered through time compression alone, trying to grasp the face of the woman I loved, to remember the reason for my life and resolve to return to the world. I tried to remember, but instead all I could grasp at were fragments of memories that blurred into one another until they were scattered to the four winds. Then all I could see was her dead body floating in the void, and yet I still could not see her face. I wasn't scared, I just grieved until my body ached and yearned to die, but I was too far beyond hope to be scared. I'm scared now."

Laguna had one of those rare moments in his life where he wasn't sure what to do. It was a mark of how broken and drained Squall was to have spoken so openly to Laguna like that, but it wasn't what the older man had expected, ever. He couldn't play the happy-go-lucky fool; he had to be serious now. Squall needed him, his support. He realised what Squall needed was a father. He just wasn't sure how to do that now.

"What can I do?"

Squall's bitter laugh was his reply. "Tell me everything will be fine."

"Everything will be fine Squall." Another bitter laugh was his only response. Laguna gripped his son's arms, a physical sign that he was there for him. "I'm serious, everything will be fine. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but if you let it, everything will be fine. Trust me on this one."

The younger man looked up from his hands. "That's a bit further in the future than I was thinking."

"I know, but it's the best I can do."

They lapsed back into companionable silence, each with their own thoughts. Finally, Squall broke the silence.

"It must have hurt to lose Raine."

"More than anything else," he honestly replied. "When it had become obvious that I wasn't getting away from Esthar anytime soon, I sent Kiros back to Winhill to bring back my family. He returned empty-handed a week later to tell me that Raine had died in childbirth three months beforehand and the child was stillborn, while we were made to believe that Elle had never arrived in the village. In one message, I had lost my entire world and more than I thought I had. Losing a loved one is like nothing else. Losing someone before you have a chance to truly love them isn't much easier either. I thought that, without those special people in my life, there was no point in what I was doing. Why help Esthar when is there was no Elle to protect or no Raine to make proud?

"As time went on, I remembered that I had other people in my life that I cared about and cared about me. When I started to deal with it, the pain faded and life got easier. It still hurts and it never goes away completely but, you learn to cope. I couldn't bring myself to visit her grave until a few years ago, after I knew that Raine had left something precious behind, her own mark and our legacy."

Laguna gave him a smile and reached up, brushing locks of brown hair away from Squall's face, feeling a new wave of affection sweeping through him. He felt as if their relationship had subtly changed as his son accepted the touch, not shying away like he once had.

"Do you ever regret me?"

"What?" Laguna watched the younger man in disbelief, "No, never. I lost Raine, but I got something equally-loved. Are you having regrets?"

"I don't know if I should be."

"You haven't lost anyone yet; don't grieve before you have a reason to."

The door they were seated beside swung open and Squall was on his feet in a heartbeat, followed more slowly by Laguna. Two women stepped into the hallway, one older and a younger girl in a student's overcoat.

"Squall Leonhart?" The man in question gave a curt nod. "I've spoken to your doctor and she's informed us of your wife's…unique condition," a nice way of saying she was a sorceress, "and we believe that it may, have an impact in this situation. I've never dealt with a woman like her, so I don't know how it will affect the babies or the infection."

"Infection?"

"It occasionally happens during a pregnancy. After discussing the matter with your doctor, we think that she developed an infection and her powers have caused this extreme reaction. It would make sense if her body is being threatened enough for it to try and rid itself of anything it sees as 'foreign.' It's a dangerous situation, especially as I'm not sure how this will affect your unborn children. The safest course of action, for your wife and babies, is to perform a Cesarean section as quickly as we can; one of the foetuses' heartbeats is dangerously weak."

"—And the other one?" Squall's question was abrupt, almost harsh. The younger woman frowned at the to-be father, while the older woman gave him a level look.

Seeing how wrong the question could be taken, Laguna stepped in. "Sorry, he's just a little shaken. Could you just answer the question?"

The older woman's eyes rolled to him and then widened in recognition. "President Loire?"

He nodded. "The question, please."

She hesitated, unsure for a moment as to whether she should object to her president. "I'm sorry Sir, but this should be restricted to the family." She paused, looking more than slightly perplexed. "I'm sorry sir," she repeated, "but what are you doing here?"

Oh, he hadn't thought this far ahead. He couldn't just blurt out that these were his grandkids being born. Falling back into nervous habits, he tried to think of an explanation that wasn't exactly a lie.

"Well, I'm…you see, it's…We're just…"

Acquaintances? Yeah, 'cause that wouldn't look weird. Friends? He used to be a fairy in my head? He wanted to be honest, but not that honest. Wait, what was the one before that? Friends? Yeah, that could work…

"Squall and I are just ol-"

"He's the grandfather."

Laguna blinked in surprise at Squall's admission, his head snapping to the right, ignoring the look of shock on the midwife's face and her assistant's wide-eyed stare. Laguna stared at his son, the other man's expression steady, as if he had stated an everyday fact like the rain was wet or the moon was round. For a moment, Laguna wondered if he had gone insane or maybe he'd just misheard him. Squall might have said, 'He's grand fun…' No, that was even more unlikely.

Picking up on the general reaction to the comment, Squall spoke again. "Laguna's my father."

Laguna's stomach flittered, sending a warm buzz through him. Squall had said it aloud, and in front of strangers, that he was his father; he was Squall's father and Squall was his son. Despite the situation, he felt a grin spread across his face. They were a family.

The younger man glanced at him and offered him a soft smile, a double blessing in a tragedy, before the doctor interrupted.

"I see. In that case, the other child seems to be doing far better but the real danger is after the birth. Chances of mortality are higher so we'll have to keep both the babies here for the rest of the gestation period and then some. If they survive, they could be developmental issues, both physical and mental, and possible immu—"

"—I understand," Squall cut in, "Can I see Rinoa?"

"Of course," the older woman stepped aside and Squall disappeared through the door. The doctor turned to follow when Laguna stopped her.

"Doctor…" and he glanced at the name badge, "Doutor. About what Squall said earlier, it's not common knowledge and in light of the current situation…"

The woman nodded. "I understand."

"Thank you."

The doctor disappeared with her assistant and the door closed behind them. Breathing out heavily, Laguna's grin slipped. He dropped into the chair Squall had been sitting in not a moment before and ran his hand over his face. This was going to be a very long day.

**End of Tell Me**

**A/N: **Yay, I got this up before I leave :D Here you go guys, not sure when the next one will be though I'm afraid. Hope you guys enjoy.


	24. Ami

And I return. Yes, I still live….just about. :D Sorry for the long wait, it's just that it's taken me a while to settle in and then, while I've had quite a bit of time to write in my spare periods, this wasn't the best chapter to get into in the middle of a teacher's room. I also tend to find my evening surprisingly full, though I'm not entirely sure with what…

**Ami**

Laguna nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard the phone ring. Here he was, minding his own business as he was lost in thoughts about his son and daughter-in-law, when the shrill ringtone cut through the air and jerked him out of his thoughts. It was the second rude awakening he'd had this morning from a phone and it was only four a.m. He just wasn't having much luck today.

The noise came from beside him, inside Squall's jacket to be precise. It was strange that the commander had left his phone behind. Surely there had to be all kinds of private or secret numbers on there that would be a bad idea for just anyone to have? On the other hand, he couldn't just take his phone into the delivery room and start talking business. Besides, he hadn't left it alone, he'd left it with Laguna.

Which brought him to the next question: to answer, or not to answer?

As if appalled by the mere thought of being answered by the president, the phone stopped ringing.

"Guess that answers that question." he said to himself.

However, just before he could go back to worrying, the offensive noise started up again. It seemed that whoever was ringing was desperate to talk to Squall. And if that was the case, then the least that Laguna could do was check who it was. If it also happened to break to tension of waiting, then so be it.

It was pure luck that Laguna got the right pocket the first time. Looking down at the phone, he saw 'Fury Caraway' flashing on the screen. Then he looked down the corridor. He doubted Squall would be back any time soon and he couldn't leave Caraway in the dark to worry. So, bracing himself for the following conversation, he flicked open the phone and answered the call.

"Hello?"

Caraway's surprise was clear in his voice. "You're not Squall. Who is this?"

"It's Laguna."

"I see. Is Squall there?"

It was clear that the man would rather deal with his son-in-law than the president. He could see this turning awkward quickly.

"Not really, he's with Rinoa… but I don't know if they've thrown him out." Would they throw him out?

Whatever reservations the other man had when talking to him didn't seem to be strong enough to prevent him from finding out more about the situation.

"I got Squall's message. He said Rinoa was bleeding and they'd gone to the hospital. What's going on?"

"The doctors think it's an infection and her body's trying to purge itself, or something along those lines. They're gonna try a C-section to save the babies."

The other man's voice was strained, an odd sound coming from such a militant man. "How much danger are they in?"

Laguna considered telling him the whole truth, but then he thought, why worry the man when there was nothing he could do and there was a far simpler answer that was just as true?

"I don't know, but these doctors are some of the best in the world. They're all in good hands and they weren't acting as if all hope was lost. We're not even close to despair here."

"That doesn't mean they're out of the woods."

"No," Laguna conceded, "it doesn't. I'm sorry I can't be of more comfort, but if helps any, I don't think the doctors are concerned about Rinoa."

"It helps a little. I'm giving my work to my aide for about a week so I can fly in, but it will still be a couple of hours until then and it will still take twelve hours to make the journey."

"It's fine. Rinoa's a big girl, she'll understand. You're coming as soon as you can; she'll appreciate that you can't do more than that. I'll make sure she gets the message."

"Thank you," Caraway told him, genuinely seeming to mean it, "…look after them."

Laguna nodded, though aware that the man couldn't see the action. It was touching in way, that this man was entrusting his family to him. It didn't matter that it was Laguna's family as well, because he got the feeling that Caraway didn't give out requests to overlook his kin lightly. He almost got the impression that Caraway was far more willing to accept Laguna as part of the family than Squall had been, maybe because he understood where Laguna was coming from.

"I will. Have a safe flight."

There was a grunt of agreement and the line went dead. Laguna closed the phone, slipping it back into Squall's coat pocket. Everything was coming together for Laguna to become a fully-fledged member of the family, just as everything was falling apart. It was strange to think that he could have missed all of this, that none of this would have happened if he hadn't been called away for a mission that night in Julia's room. His life would have been completely different. There would have been no Raine in his life and nothing that would have come with loving Raine — that would have been the greatest loss in the world to him.

He treasured those moments with Raine like gold, the smallest, most mundane moments above all…

_ …he felt something lightly tickling his skin, gently coaxing him awake. Even after twenty years, he could still remember the sunlight filtering through the window, bathing the room in a warm glow, as if to mark the dawn of a new life. The smell of the flowers, Raine's favourite, that made the room feel more like home than any other place he had been in his life. The soft cotton sheets were pleasant against his skin, rubbing smoothly and ensuring deep dreams, but it was the heat from the woman who leaned over him that was the most pleasing of all, her bare skin brushing against his as perused his face for signs that he was awake. It was a good feeling, this moment._

_ He peeled his eyes fully open and looked up into Raine's face, her hair falling over her shoulder to brush against his skin. She smiled down at him. _

_ "Good morning, _husband_."_

_ He grinned back at her. "Good morning,_ wife_."_

_ She bent down and pressed her lips against his, which he eagerly accepted, deepening the kiss, letting the room and the present fall away from him. Then she broke away._

_ "Mmmmm," he hummed, "good wake up. Best I've ever had." Then he lowered his voice to add, "Best night I've ever had too."_

_ He could feel her mouth twitch into a smile. "So I gathered."_

_ The soft laugh escaped him at first, as she followed his lead and rested her head against his shoulder, her body shaking with quiet laughter. His hand rose to rest against the small of her back, resisting the urge to let it wander. _

_ "We should get showered and dressed," she sighed._

_ "Why?"_

_ "We can't spend all day in bed."_

_ "I'm not sure about that."_

_ She rose, the sheets falling away and spilling over her legs, exposing her body in a way that nearly caused his leg to seize up. However, this was Raine; he was too comfortable around her to get worked up in these situations…at least not in that way. _

_ "We can't waste the day in bed," she sighed. _

_ "Really? Kiros and Ward have taken Elle away for the day, leaving us alone." He sat up, drawing himself close to her. "Seems like a shame to waste it."_

_ His finger tips, traced the side of her body as he leaned forward to kiss her again, stopping as-_

—Coffee, he thought, pushing his earlier musings aside, that's what they all needed — a good, _strong _cup of coffee!

(&)

It had taken him an age and a half to find a decent coffee. The cafés inside the hospital were all closed at this hour and so he had extended his search to the surrounding area, because nothing was going to make him drink that so-called coffee that the machines dispensed. However, there were few coffee houses open at this early hour of the morning due to the fact that nobody in their right mind was up at this time. In the end, he completely lucked out and stumbled upon an all night café near the air station that catered to pilots coming and going at all hours of the day.

_ On the plus side,_ Laguna thought as he carried the warm drinks through the hospital corridors, _hopefully they're finished and have everything under control by now._

It wasn't completely out of the question; he must have been gone for an hour now, surely a C-section couldn't take that long…could it? As he drew closer to the room where he'd left Squall, he noticed that his son wasn't there, or his jacket and there was no sign of life on the other side of frosted window pane in the door. Either they weren't finished, or Rinoa was sleeping.

Resting his hand against the door handle, he debated on taking a sneak peek; it would only last a second and that way he hopefully wouldn't disturb anyone on the other side. Then he withdrew his hand. It was probably better not to. It could be someone completely-different for all he knew and that would be more than a little embarrassing. Perhaps Squall was hanging around somewhere.

Turning, he looked down the corridor, as if he expected to see a large flashing arrow with 'SQUALL' written in large letters, pointing him in the right direction. In hindsight, he should have asked at the reception to see where Rinoa was and what was going on; he really had no idea what to do or where to go now.

Guess that left him with one option — to wander aimlessly until he found divine inspiration or, failing that, Squall. On the other hand, he could just go back to the reception now and ask them. The first option was as good a method as any and it was how he had rolled for the majority of his life — by picking a direction and walking in it until he reached a destination…or got distracted…or fatally injured. Now that he thought about it, this method had gotten him into some very sticky situations in the past.

Weighing up the two options, he turned back towards the way he came and started making his way back to the entrance. He doubted anything horrific could happen to him in the hospital, but it was best not to test fate. Though, he did have to admit that if anything did happen, at least he was no more than a shout away from the nearest help. It certainly beat washing up with broken bones on a beach in the middle of nowhere, but then it wasn't as if he could really complain about that either as-

His train of thought was abruptly cut off as he spotted the large 'Waiting Room' sign and grinned. It wasn't a flashing arrow, but it was the next best thing.

Poking his head around the doorway, he caught sight of his quarry in the far corner with his back against the corridor wall, hidden from passer-bys. He really did look as if he needed a good coffee or, even better, a good night's sleep. His eyes were closed as he propped up his forehead against his hand. Unlike before, Squall looked up as Laguna approached him, his face drawn and the small smile from earlier nowhere to be seen. Desperate to avoid the tense silence, or perhaps to avoid dwelling on Squall's expression, he spoke up.

"You really look as if you could do with this," he said, holding out the selection of drinks to him.

Looking back down at the floor, the younger man shook his head. Mounting concern crept through Laguna. He wanted to fly into a flurry of questions and nervous babbling, but at the same time, he was scared to hear that everything had gone terribly wrong. Besides, it wouldn't really help the situation.

He set the coffees down on a corner table, pushing aside the old magazines that were in the way. Crouching down, he tried to get a better look at Squall's face.

"Is Rinoa alright?"

"She's fine. I think she's resting, she needs it."

Laguna couldn't help the relief that flooded through him, if Squall still had his wife then he was confident that they could get through anything.

"How are the twins doing?" he asked before the million gil follow-up question, "Boys or girls?"

"A boy and a girl. Gale is in an incubator. He needs to stay there until he's strong enough to leave. The doctor's examining him now since she wants to know how he's been affected by this. We'll know later today, but she warned us that they'll be a lot of potential issues because of the premature birth. Still it's better than-"

His son cut himself off. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he closed his eyes tightly, looking pale. Even though his stomach twisted and his throat was dry, Laguna forced the question out, albeit barely.

"Squall, what's wrong?"

The younger man swallowed, trying to find his voice. Laguna watched him, not daring to breathe, not wanting to know the answer while the suspense was slowly killing him.

"She didn't make it." The silence was broken. "It wasn't long. They tried but they couldn't…she couldn't…"

Squall broke off, unable to continue further as he tried to pull himself together. Laguna could see that his son was trying to push the emotions down so they would be hidden away and unable to be felt, but it was a lost battle as the grief threatened to overwhelm him. Laguna couldn't just crouch there and do nothing, watching his son in pain. Without thinking, he did what felt natural to him; he reached up and pulled his son into his arms. At another point in time, he would have questioned the wisdom of this act, but right now, it seemed like the most important thing in the world.

Squall didn't react at first, the sense of surprise and uncertainty was almost tangible. However, slowly, but surely, the SeeD's hands rose to grip the back of his father's shirt, his face falling on the older man's shoulder. It wasn't long before Laguna felt the material of his shirt dampening and his eyes widened in shock and realisation as he tried not to stiffen up. He never thought he'd see, or feel, his son cry.

His shock only lasted a moment as he gripped his boy tighter, one hand rising to rest on the bowed head, his thumb caressing his brown locks. Squall didn't bawl or sob, nor was he a dramatic or loud crier. If it wasn't for the dampness on his shoulder, or the harsh breathing that shook the younger man's shoulders, Laguna would have never known that his son was weeping for his dead child.

He didn't speak, there was nothing to say to make this better and he doubted that Squall wanted hollow comforts, not when he was already doing what he needed to do. At least the other man wasn't bottling it all up. He'd feared that he would do that, but it seemed as if this was something that even Squall couldn't block out. Of everything in the world — monsters, crazed sorceresses and time compressions, the one thing that he couldn't handle was losing someone so close to him. And of course, another tragedy just had to come and remind him of this in the worst way.

Squall's breathing steadied enough for him to speak, but not enough to keep the slight tremors away.

"Rinoa wants to name her. The doctors say they need to write a name on the documents."

"And you don't want to?"

Squall shook his head against the man's shoulder. "No, once we do that, it becomes real, a part of us. When she has a name, she becomes a person, our daughter. It makes it so much harder to push away, I don't know if I can do that."

"You can't hide away. This has happened and you can't change it. Pretending that it didn't happen or that it's not a part of your life won't help. This _is_ your daughter, Ami. She didn't get a chance at life, so the least you can do is remember her with a name. If not, you'll regret it."

"Is there something wrong with me? What is it about me that makes everyone leave?"

"There's nothing wrong with you, you're just very unlucky. It's not much better, I know, but it's something. Things will start to get better, you'll start to heal and it won't hurt as much. You just need to get up and move on from this, just let it out."

Laguna waited for Squall to move, not wanting to rush him as he started to calm down. The tears were drying up and the breaths no longer rocked his body.

From the corners of his eye, he caught movement at the waiting room entrance. Ellone stood in the doorway, her face slightly red from running, dressed in the most un-Ellonish manner — baggy trousers and a large, comfortable-looking jumper. She'd clearly just thrown on the closest things on hand and it gave her an oddly-youthful look, not at all helped by the worried look in her wide eyes. Her gaze fell on her father and brother and he knew that she understood what had happened. She looked at her surrogate brother and he could see the same emotions on her face as he felt in his own heart.

He moved his arm, ready to invite her into the circle. He was sure that if Squall would welcome anyone at this moment, it would be Elle. However, his arm had barely twitched when she shook her head mutely, stopping his action, and stepped out of the room to give the two privacy. He didn't have time to dwell on her behaviour as Squall moved, straightening back into his upright position. Laguna had assumed that he'd stirred because he'd heard Elle enter, but when the man slumped against his seat without a glance at the doorway, he was left to assume that Squall had never noticed the woman's entrance.

For what felt like the hundredth time that night, Laguna noticed just tired his son looked, but for the first time, he really appreciated how much of that exhaustion was in spirit as it was in body. There was a hint of red in his eyes and a slight shimmer which held the only indications of what had passed moments ago.

"Feeling better?" It was the only thing he could say to break the silence.

Squall gave a small one shoulder shrug.

"How's Rinoa coping?"

"I'm not sure. I think she's sleeping."

Somehow Laguna doubted that. "You should go talk to her." Squall didn't move. "It's important that you're there with her."

"I need time to think and breathe."

"I know, and that's important, but don't use it as an excuse to avoid her. You know all those fears you had about what's wrong with you? Well, Rinoa's been carrying those twins inside her for seven months and then her body tried to get rid of them, killing your daughter. Her body was supposed to protect and nurture her children and it didn't, possibly because of her powers. Chances are that she's thinking the same thing as you, but about herself and more intensely. If you're avoiding her…"

"Yeah, I get it."

"Go talk to her. Right now, I think that's the best thing you can do, you need each other. Then go get some damn sleep. You look like you'll drop at any moment. It won't be very dignified if the SeeD commander is found passed out in the corridor."

He didn't get a smile, just a curt nod as Squall rose. "I'll do that…thank you."

"Don't mention it."

His son disappeared out of the room, only to be replaced by Ellone within a minute.

"Was it both of them?"

"No," he said, flopping down into Squall's seat, "Gale is alive, but Ami didn't make it."

She winced and he knew why. It fit in with a nasty pattern for Squall. First Raine, then Ellone, Rinoa during time compression and now Ami — all important girls in his life had left him.

"Poor Squall, how is he coping?"

"Like someone who's lost a child, but he'll move on."

Yes, his son would move on from this. It was tragic and it was gnawing at both of the parents from the inside, but they would make it through to raise their son. They would make it through Ami's passing.

Ami…a girl…

It was would have been nice to have a granddaughter.

**End of Ami **

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, there you have it, I think I may run off again now…


	25. The Oath

**The Oath**

Squall silently slipped into Rinoa's room, never realising he could feel so hollow while still dreading the coming conversation. He really didn't want to be doing this. He wanted to revert to his old ways and push these thoughts and feelings away until they no longer plagued him, banished with all his other forgotten memories. However, to simply disregard Ami, to seal her to the same fate as Ellone had not five years ago, seemed just as painful and would leave Rinoa to suffer alone. How could he abandon his wife now? He didn't want to lose Rinoa for something neither of them had any power over.

The small bedside lamp had been switched on, giving the room a depressing murkiness. The figure of his lover could be made out on the bed, too still to be asleep.

"Rinoa?"

There was no response. It was tempting to turn round and leave, pretending that Rinoa was just asleep, but it was a lie and he knew it. She was as eager as he was to avoid the coming conversation. He walked across the room, treading softly, as if the wrong step could make everything worse, sending their lives into a further downward spiral. Rinoa's head remained turned away as she lay on her back, not moving as he approached, not even as he sat down on the bed beside her.

"Rinoa?" he repeated her name, "I know you're awake."

He had hoped that she would react to that. What should he say now? Was he supposed to do something? Neither of them wanted to talk about this, but he understood that it had to be done, not that the knowledge helped him. He didn't know where to start. Should he hug her? Should he leap straight in there? Normally, he would have looked to Rinoa for the cue, but now…

"I'm sorry," Rinoa whispered, finally breaking the tense silence, "I'm so sorry, Squall."

"There's nothing to be sorry about."

She shook her head against the pillow. "I don't know what happened. I don't understand why it happened. I didn't want this, I-" A sob broke free from her.

"It's not your fault." Squall tried to reassure her and yet he found himself unable to articulate what he really wanted to say and the assurance that she needed to hear. His mind was left blank and his body useless. He needed to do something else.

He found his hand resting against her arm, causing her to open her eyes to look at him.

"What did I do wrong?" she pleaded, as if she expected that he'd give her an answer, an answer he just didn't have.

"Nothing, it wasn't anything you did."

"I must have done something wrong. I should have read more, but I didn't think I needed to do anything. I thought it would all be natural, that it would just happen."

"It is, it was-"

"Then why did I reject them!" she raised her voice to cut through his. That panicked edge was back as the tears started to flow again.

"You didn't reject them Rinoa, you could never reject them."

She rose, propping herself up on her elbow, moving slowly and carefully to avoid jerking her healing c-section. "But I did."

"It wasn't _you_. You didn't decide to do this anymore than you decided to fall pregnant."

"But it was my body. Women aren't supposed to abandon their children while they're still inside them. What's wrong with me? Is it because I'm a sorceress, or is it something else?"

"I think we're just…" He searched for the right word, yet the only one that came to mind was the one that Laguna had used — unlucky. It didn't seem to ft though; it was too flippant and unsatisfying as a reply. It would have been more appropriate to say 'screwed over by fate.' "We're not the first ones this has happened to and we won't be the last."

Rinoa's fingers clenched the front of his shirt, seemingly afraid that he would leave. "It hurts so much to lose Ami. I'm so angry, at myself and life for this, but I don't want you to hate me. I'm scared you'll pull away from me and I can't lose you too because of this."

Closing the space between them, he pulled his wife towards him, gathering her up in his arms and drawing her close to his body as she sobbed.

"I could never hate you; I need you too much, now more than ever."

The dam broke and Rinoa wept, Squall tried to prevent his own emotions from overwhelming him again. He fought them down. Not now, he needed to be strong for his lover. He had to hold and comfort her, to be her pillar of strength; he couldn't do that as a blubbering fool. This was about Rinoa and letting her know that they were as strong as ever, because Squall could not do this on his own. But as the indistinguishable words escaped her lips, merged with her weeping, he found that his resolve was pushed to its limit.

He took in a shaky breath to calm himself, holding his love tighter to lend him strength. He had to be strong. However, her sobs seemed to penetrate his defences and his vision blurred. He had to be strong, he couldn't cry. He had to be Rinoa's rock, but his body wouldn't listen.

"We'll get through this," he promised to them both, desperately trying to keep the tremors in his voice at bay, "I will be there, always. We'll get through this and raise a wonderful, strong son. No matter what, we won't lose anyone else."

(&)

"…Also, make sure someone is there to meet General Caraway when he arrives. His flight should come in early this evening."

Laguna relaxed against his chair as he spoke to Kiros, waiting for…something. If he was honest, he wasn't entirely sure what he was waiting for, but he knew that he couldn't leave. With Squall and Rinoa finally asleep, there was little else he could do except hang around. There were things that needed to be arranged, but he'd chosen to leave that 'til a more reasonable time. Not that he normally called seven a.m. reasonable, but it was for Kiros and it was a damn better sight than 4 a.m.

So, he had waited, read some magazines, drank cold coffee, waited some more, wrapped an arm around Elle as she fell asleep on his shoulder, waited a bit more, played a game on his phone and counted the tiles in the sitting area floor. Finally, Laguna had become bored enough to call his friend an hour before he intended to at the eight o'clock start.

"I'll make sure there's a car to take him straight to the hospital. Shall we tell him what's happened?"

Laguna sighed. "There's no point waiting 'til he gets here. Let him have some time to digest the news before he arrives. I can't imagine that Squall or Rinoa want to deliver the bad news themselves. Speaking of bad news, have the reporters got a sniff of the situation yet?"

"Not as far as we're aware, but it's possible that someone has noticed your presence in the hospital. But if all is quiet on your end and we haven't been alerted, then I doubt it."

Elle stirred on his shoulder, but didn't wake. It was quite amazing that she could sleep through all this chatter. "Let's keep it that way for as long as possible, I don't want this turning out like the café meetings — that's the last thing we all need. If they starting catching on then stall them for as long as possible, if that doesn't work then distract them with something."

"With what?"

"I dunno. Tell them we're giving pensions to dogs or something. You're the brains of the two of us, you'll think of something. If they know Rinoa went into labour, they'll ask why I'm hanging around here and why she's in hospital for so long. It'll be best to keep this under our hats 'til after they've left the hospital."

"There's a good chance they won't notice. All eyes are on your anniversary and with Rinoa's due date further in the future, they won't be looking to her just yet. They'll expect an announcement to go round to announce she's given birth anyway. I will have to make sure you're not expected anywhere any time soon though. I'll change your schedule for the next few days. Luckily, people are used to your…eccentricities, so they shouldn't be too suspicious, especially with all the activity going on at the moment."

"Did I have anything important today?"

Kiros snorted. "Would I give you anything important after a big party? Though I doubt anyone's mind is on bills or reforms. There was one interview with the 'Esthar Call,' but that can be delayed until after the holidays. Speaking of which, you will have to appear in the shopping district at the end of this week to close the celebrations. Not that you can spend the rest of week in the hospital."

He'd never really thought about that. "I guess so. Well, I'll be there on Saturday if you can get a car for Caraway, keep the reporters away and hold down the fort for me."

"In other words, you'll sit in hospital while I do all the work."

"Hey, I can't work in the hospital."

"Not entirely true. I'll send some papers for you to look over when Caraway arrives."

"You're a heartless man, Kiros."

"This country would be in ruins if I wasn't," his friend joked before becoming serious again. "Is there anything else you'd like me to take care of?"

"Just make sure Squall's friends know what's going on."

"Take care of yourself Laguna, not just Squall and Rinoa."

"Will do. See ya later," he added before sliding his phone back into his pocket.

He tilted his head back to rest against the wall and sighed. It would really help him pass the time if he knew what he was waiting for. For Squall to wake up and need something he guessed, or for Caraway to arrive. Either way, he wasn't going to be going anywhere anytime soon.

"You should go home."

Laguna jumped out of his skin, causing the girl asleep on his shoulder to jerk awake with a small cry. Apparently this was one thing that she couldn't sleep through. They both looked up at the doorway to see Squall leaning against the frame. He spoke again.

"You don't have to be here."

Straightening, Ellone spoke up. "We want to be here, we want to support you."

"Nothing's happening, nothing for you to do here, so you may as well go back."

"That's not the point."

"You were asleep."

Ellone blushed a little in embarrassment and Laguna swooped in to her rescue with a retort to Squall.

"Like you should be."

Squall ran a hand through his hair, coming to sit at other side of the corner to them. "I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep."

"Want me to get you something?"

"I'm fine; I'll go back in a minute."

"Want me to tell you a bedtime story?"

Squall's mouth twitched up and Laguna got the impression that his son wasn't laughing with him per se.

"What?"

"Rinoa said something similar to me once."

Laguna grinned, now that he would pay to see. "Did it work?" He took the silence to mean yes and stretched his arms in preparation. "Well, it's been 20 years since I read anyone a story, but I was pretty damn good at it. Wasn't I, Elle?"

She smiled up at him. "The greatest. Whenever I went to bed, Uncle Laguna was there to tell me a bedtime story and he always told the best."

"What was your favourite…Oh yeah, the one about The Elephant King. You asked for a new story about that elephant every night for two months, until Raine and I got married."

She laughed, resting her head against his shoulder. "How did you put up with me? You and Raine must have been desperate for some time alone."

"Oh, most of the time it was okay, but every now and then, you would come in the middle of the night when we were sleeping…"

(&)

_ "…Uncle Laguna."_

_ The man blinked away sleep as his name was hissed out. He felt a small hand tugging on his arm and he groaned, wanting to go back to sleep, but not having the heart to turn the little girl away. He opened his eyes fully as the Elle whispered his name again, squinting past Raine, asleep in his arms, into the gloom of the room. _

_ The little girl stood beside the bed, staring up at him. "Uncle Laguna, I woked up and can't sweep. Can you wead me a stowi?"_

_ He knew that Raine would have said, 'no, go back to bed' right now. Having him in the house was not an excuse to get an extra story every night and that the child needed to learn that she couldn't have everything that she wanted. _

_However, just looking at those big puppy dog eyes now, how could he say no? He just wasn't as strong as Raine was._

"_Okay, Elle. Just one story and then you _have_ to sleep. Now go wait in bed," he whispered, trying his best not to wake his new wife. _

"_But I wan' it now."_

"_I will be two minutes. You just need to go back to bed and wait there."_

"_Why?"_

"_Because…" Oh boy, how to put this? "I need to get dressed."_

"_You don' need to dwess. It's jus' a stowi."_

_Oh yes, he did. "Yes, but, I'm not wearing pyjamas."_

"_Ooooooooh," and then her eyes slide over to where Raine lay. She frowned. "Why aren't you weawing pyjamas?"_

"…" _This was very, very awkward. __A lie, a lie, a lie… __"Erm, we…got hot." He tried not to sound too triumphant when he said that last part._

_She looked confused. "I'm not hot."_

"_Well, when two people share a bed, they sometimes get…hot, but it's okay because they're married. But never get too hot until after you're married."_

_That was…incredibly lame. If anything he made it all sound more suspicious. The girl, however, looked thoughtful for a moment and then nodded, the concept making sense to her. _

"_Okay, I'll go. Be quick," she commanded before trotting off._

_The man let out a breath of relief. That was close, but he doubted that even Raine could have handled that better. He looked down at his wife, seeing her steady breathing and small, blissful smile touching her lips. _

_He leaned down and whispered in her ear, "Cheater."_

"_Maybe next time you'll ignore her and let her go back to sleep on her own," the woman whispered back._

"_And ignore that look in her eyes?"_

"_If you don't open your eyes, you won't see it."_

"_But I'll still know it's there."_

_She shook her head ever-so-slightly, shifting to let Laguna free. "Better go before she comes back."_

"_Good point." He sat up, looking around him. "Erm…" He seemed to be saying that a lot tonight._

"_Foot of the bed."_

"_Thanks."_

_He grabbed his trousers, slipping off the bed and snatching up his shirt for good measure. He moved away as Raine made herself comfortable again. Laguna approached Elle's bed to see her kneeing by the window, peering up at the stars. She turned round when he sat down beside her and pointed up at the sky, grinning._

"_I saw a shooting staw."_

_Laguna smiled softly. "Did you make a wish?"_

"_A wish?"_

"_Yeah, a wish," he pulled back the covers and waited for her to climb inside. "To the Star Princess. You know the story, right?"_

_She shook her head. Humph, fancy not know the star princess story. Winhill was more remote than he thought._

"_Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess who lived high up in the heavens. Every night__,__ she would rise higher than any other star, shine twice as brightly and watch over the people of Gaia. Every morning__,__ she fell into a deep slumber and waited to shine again at night._

"_One evening, as she watched over the lands, a handsome prince was riding through the woods on a midnight-black horse. He was a famous horseman, but tonight he had managed to go astray. She watched as he went round and round in circles, doomed to be lost for all eternity. Feeling for the young man, she gathered up all her energy and moved to stand above the palace, shining brighter than she had ever shone before, pointing him in the direction of home. Thanks to her help, he managed to find his way back to the palace, but as she blazed in the sky, she realised that she shone too brightly for too long and she tumbled out of the sky._

"_She was found the next day, sleeping in the palace gardens and she amazed everyone with her breath-taking beauty. The King and Queen were so impressed that they ordered that she be cared for until she recovered, in the hopes that she would marry their son when she awoke. As soon as the prince laid eyes on the princess, he fell in love. Every day, he came to sit by her bedside, watching as she grew stronger and stronger, each day shining a little brighter. When she finally woke up, he was the first one she saw, she recognised him as the prince she had helped and was impressed by his dedication._

"_The two spent every day together and the more time the star princess spent with the prince, the more she fell in love. Soon the two were wed, however, stars are not meant to marry humans._

"_A year after they were married, a sorceress came to the palace gates and demanded to see the royal family. She told them that stars did not belong on Gaia and they always had to return to the heavens after they had regained their shine. The family begged the sorceress to reconsider, but knowing how dangerous it was to have such things where they did not belong, she returned the princess to her rightful place._

"_But, falling into grief, the Star Princess could no longer shine brightly and she threatened to disappear into nothing. Seeing the star's despair, the sorceress took pity on her. She told the star that if she collected 100,000 wishes, then they could forge a new star and she could return to her prince. The star was thrilled and shot off across the sky in search of wishes._

"_So, every time you see a shooting star, it's the Star Princess collecting wishes so that she can return to her love one day and every wish you make upon a star brings her closer to her own wish."_

_Laguna looked down to see Ellone fast asleep…_

_(&)_

"… and not much has changed," the man noted, watching his surrogate daughter once again sleeping on his shoulder.

Squall watched them. "You two really should go get some sleep."

Laguna indicated to Elle. "She's already getting some."

"Some _proper_ sleep."

"Caraway's arriving this evening; we'll leave then if you like."

"You don't need to take shifts watching over us."

"And you don't need to do this on your own."

Squall had no comeback to that.

They sat in silence for a couple more minutes before Laguna decided to speak about his conversation with his friend, hoping it would ease some of Squall's troubles. "I've spoken to Kiros and he's cleared my schedule, though I didn't have anything important in the first place anyway. I've also asked him to pick up Caraway and bring him here and to keep the reporters away."

"Thank you."

"Is there anything else you need?"

Squall shook his head. "I don't know, have no idea what comes next."

"You go get some sleep."

"And after that?"

"That's for us to worry about later."

Squall nodded and stood. "I should get back to Rinoa."

Laguna watched his son walk away, softly adding, "Don't forget that you're not alone, you're never alone anymore."

**End of The Oath**

Wow, that last line can sound reaaaaaaaally creepy. Hope you guys enjoyed this. I actually found that first scene really hard to write (way harder than the last chapter), so I hope it's not filled with epic fail.


	26. Silence and Motion

**An offer/request: **I'm a little stuck for a flashback for a couple of chapter's time. It's a Zell point of view and as it will be the last flashback that I WRITE, I keep discarding ideas. Nothing seems to inspire me and the best idea I've had so far is something on the fireworks incident. So, I've decided to throw it open and ask people to make suggestions for what they would like to see, in the hopes that I'll either like one of them or it will inspire something. It'll be a scene between Zell and his girlfriend.

Silence and Motion/Junction

The hospital had essentially thrown them out. Not Squall and Rinoa of course — Squall was a difficult person to throw out of anywhere, but the night matron had finally had enough of Laguna, Ellone and Fury hanging around all week and thrown them out.

_"You're not staying overnight again," she'd briskly announced when she found them once again in the waiting rooms, "None of you. This is a hospital, not a hotel and, president or no president, you need to sleep in your own bed and not on the floor."_

_ "I've slept in my own bed," Laguna objected, and it was true. _

_The night before his big appearance in the shopping district, he had gone back home to sleep. In fact, they'd all been back at some point in the last week to sleep in the presidential palace, or just to walk about. They just didn't all leave together._

_ The woman's head snapped towards him. "I want you all out. Visiting hours are over and so visitors must leave. Go home, go to a restaurant, go to a bar, I don't care as long as you aren't here. You want to return tomorrow after ten? Then return tomorrow, just leave now."_

And so the three members of the family were forced to vacate the presidential hospital. Not feeling particularly tired, they'd taken her up on her suggestion and gone to a restaurant.

However, Laguna had never really anticipated how awkward this little gathering would be. It would have been generous, or perhaps deluded, to say that Caraway was completely comfortable with the Loires and vice-versa. Perhaps uncomfortable was not quite the right word, it was just that, being here, together like this, that one could really tell how little the three had in common. He had never realised how much they had relied on their children as a bridge between them. Of course, there was an obvious topic they _could_ talk about, but he wasn't sure that any of them _wanted_ to do so. Still, he knew the conversation would soon have to descend down those treacherous paths, not because they had little else to discuss, but because there were matters that still needed to be discussed and arranged. He wasn't sure what was worse, those topics, or this painful silence.

"The rest of the gang start leaving this week." It was Ellone who broke the stillness. "Irvine and Selphie leave tonight for a mission, but they promised to drop by when they're finished, which must mean they're working in Esthar or close by. Quistis leaves tomorrow, while Zell and Hana at the end of the weekend."

Caraway nodded. "Someone needs to take over for Squall in Garden while he's away; Quistis is more than capable of doing that. Hopefully no one will notice that he isn't where he's supposed to be for a while."

"If we're careful, they may not notice at all," Laguna added hopefully.

The general did not look convinced. "I doubt that. Squall and Rinoa aren't leaving Esthar anytime soon and they can't remain in hospital for all that time. Every time they travel, they run the risk of someone recognising them and telling the papers, especially when they notice that Rinoa is no longer pregnant."

There he went again, looking on the sour side of life — what was wrong with having a little hope? Unfortunately, he had no witty put down because the man was right; as soon as the two would start making daily trips to and from the hospital, someone was bound to notice them.

"Kiros is helping to distract the press, keeping their attention away from Squall, Rinoa and anything Garden-related that will cause them to look to Squall. I reckon he can buy us a month."

Caraway frowned. "An entire month?"

Laguna grinned with pride. "I don't just keep him around for the pleasure of his company. He's good at his job." And Laguna's for that matter.

Ellone looked between them. "How long will they be in hospital for?"

Laguna shrugged, but Fury was more helpful. "Rinoa will most likely leave in the next few days. Normally, it would have been sooner, but considering the circumstances, the doctor wanted to be sure that there wouldn't be any nasty surprises. Gale will probably have to remain in hospital for the rest of gestation period, so eight weeks."

"Nearly two months."

"If all goes well, they can leave early, but they need to be sure that Gale is strong enough and they can look after him. Estharian technology is good and they can make him stronger sooner, but they prefer to let the body strengthen itself and just aid the natural process."

Laguna looked to the other father in surprise. "You know a lot about all this."

"I spoke to the nurse about it." he explained. "I needed to know as much as I could so I can make arrangements for Ami's funeral."

The table grew still again. It was a depressing topic, but one that finally needed to be faced. Caraway had volunteered to take on the responsibility of arranging Ami's funeral. Claiming that, after a career with the military, he knew his way round the process well. All Squall and Rinoa had to do is say what they wanted and Caraway would do all the leg work.

"What have they decided?"

"They want to bury Ami, but they don't want to leave Gale just yet, so they've had to pay a lot to keep her preser- … sustained in the morgue until we can bury her."

"When will that be?" Ellone asked.

"They won't want to bury Ami in Esthar," Laguna started, "too far away from home. So I guess they'll have to travel to Balamb, but that means taking at least a day away from here. If they don't want to be away that long, it could be two months."

Ellone didn't seem happy about that. "Will they want to leave it that long? I'm not sure that's a good idea."

Caraway placed his fork down, his meal still half untouched. "I have advised that they don't leave it and that they bury Ami as soon as Gale is safe and stable. The longer they leave it, the longer it will linger over them."

"Can't see them wanting to leave Gale alone." Laguna leaned back in his chair, poking at his steak.

"They don't have much of a choice," was the general's curt reply and Laguna could see why there had been so much friction between the father and daughter. He didn't think that Fury had intended to sound so blunt, but he did and that must have sat badly with Rinoa as a teenager.

"I'll stay," Ellone offered.

"Are you sure?" Caraway turned to the woman, who nodded. "That's a kind offer."

It was, but it was so clear to Laguna that Ellone didn't want to stay behind. She wanted to be by her brother's side, to help him through this difficult time, like she could never do when he was growing up and, in his mind, that was where she belonged.

"Yeah," he agreed, "but I think it would be better if I stayed behind and you were with Squall. I think he'll need your support more than anyone else's. Well, except Rinoa, but that kinda goes without saying."

His daughter looked at him with determination in her eyes and a hint of stubbornness that was rarely so prominent. "You should be there as well, both of you. You've both recently been accepted back into their lives, you can't miss this moment."

"What about one of their friends?" Fury suggested.

The two Loires looked at each other, that particular option occurring to neither of them, yet it was so simple and obvious.

"If Selphie and Irvine have returned by then, I know they'd be happy to do it, but they could be away for up to a month. Quistis will be busy, but Zell may be able to do it."

Now that was an odd thought; Zell having to sit around watching a baby. He'd be bored within five minutes. "Will they be happy to leave Gale in Zell's hands?"

Technically, it was the doctor's hands and Zell would just be keeping an eye on things in case anything happened, but that wasn't what it felt like.

"I don't think they have much of a choice," Caraway pointed out.

Ellone shook her head. "They trust all their friends with their lives. Zell may be lively, but that doesn't make him irresponsible."

The table lapsed back into the awkward hush from before. Each with their own thoughts until it was once again broken by Ellone, making him wonder if the atmosphere was making her as uncomfortable as it did him.

"Do you think they're hiding something from us?"

Ah, so he wasn't the only one who had noticed. Fury, however, frowned across at her. "I haven't noticed anything. What do you mean?"

Laguna leapt in to support his girl. "They do kinda act suspicious whenever Gale comes up. Awkward, I guess."

"They would be awkward," the other man pointed out.

"Yeah, but this feels different."

"I haven't noticed, but then, maybe their thoughts have been elsewhere with me?"

Ellone looked to Laguna, a strong undercurrent of worry swimming in her eyes, and he realised that this must have been on her mind for a while. "Do you think Gale is doing a lot worse than we realise?"

Laguna was surprised when Caraway quickly cut in. "No, I've spoken to several nurses and the doctor about the matter. Gale was weak at birth, but they don't think they will lose him. He should stable soon enough."

"But…could there be anything wrong with him?" Even Laguna had to wince at his phrasing. 'Wrong' sounded so…well, wrong. As if it would make him any less loved or accepted in the family, or that there was a specific way he should be. However, Caraway, ever the practical man, didn't seem to mind.

"Nothing was mentioned, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything."

"Should we find out?"

"No," Caraway's answer was firm, as if he was more sure of this than anything else they had discussed. "They'll tell us when they're ready. Rinoa especially wouldn't want us sneaking around behind her back if she's keeping something to herself."

He looked Laguna dead in the eyes. Fury was a very serious man, much like Squall, but now he saw something different in the other man's expression, a softness and another emotion that Laguna knew well.

"I don't want to lose Rinoa's trust over something so unnecessary."

Laguna nodded, feeling as if he shared a mutual understanding with the other man for once; a connection that went beyond their children.

"I think I agree." Ellone began, breaking the silence again. "When they are ready, they will tell us if there is a complication."

"We're all agreed then; all we can do is stick around and help wherever we can." Laguna briefly paused to pick up his glass. "I'll have to start working in the office again this week; I have meetings with the chancellors," He pulled a face and took a sip of wine, "and I need to avoid drawing too much attention to myself. At least I can help from my office and pop by in the evenings."

"I can stay until after the funeral," Fury said, "but unless they make a statement, I can't stay for any longer. Even then, I have important work to do back in Deling City and I can't hang around here for the whole two months. If they leave the funeral for more than two weeks, I may have to leave anyway. Though I can help to distract the press across the water and do my part from there, but I don't have as much influence as you do."

Laguna managed to rustle up a grin. "At least Elle can stick by them."

She smiled back. "It's an advantage of being unemployed."

Caraway turned to the young woman. "How do you normally fill your time?"

Before Laguna had a chance to feel offended for his girl, she cheerfully answered. "Oh, I help run the palace. It's bigger and harder than the boat, but it helps Uncle Laguna and gives me something to do."

"And she does an excellent job."

"I don't do a lot, I just assist the estate manager when she needs it. It's not an official job, so she won't object if I'm occupied elsewhere for a few weeks."

"I'm sure Squall and Rinoa will appreciate your company." Caraway finished what remained of his wine. "If we can't all be there, than at least one of us should be. They have a long few weeks ahead of them and all we can do is be available and hope that helps."

(&)

"That's very good, you're doing very well. You can sit down now if you like."

Doctor Doutor moved to the side, allowing Rinoa to make her way slowly back to the bed, leaning heavily on Squall's arm.

"When can I move around freely?" she asked when she was seated on the bed again.

The good doctor frowned across at her. "One step at a time," she warned, "You should be fully recovered in five to six weeks, but I wouldn't rush things. Speaking of which, the nurse tells me that you want to take Gale home as soon as you can."

"Not if it puts him in danger," the new mother clarified, clearly not wanting to give the doctor the wrong impression, "We just don't want to attract attention and put him in the spotlight."

"The Press?" Mrs Leonhart nodded at Doutor's question, "I've worked in this hospital for more than a few years. In that time, I've seen my fair share of celebrities come in here for every reason you can think of. Given the circumstances, and your connections, I'm sure if you made an announcement and asked for them to respect your privacy, they'd keep their distance. They'll spread it across the papers, but they won't come here looking for a story. Not much for them to do here if you feed them with tidbits of news as the weeks go by. They should be tactful about it."

"We'd rather not have to deal with it yet," Squall stated; his tone brooked no room for argument.

"Fine, but I suggest you keep it in mind. We normally use the gestation period as a guide for how long to keep a child in our care. Sometimes they stay longer, sometimes shorter. _If_ Gale is strong enough_ and _we are confident that you are capable of handling any of his additional needs then you can take him home. I am hesitant to let you take him home as early as I might otherwise, but I will speak to a midwife about some sessions to help you with long and short term care. If those go well, we'll see how Gale is developing. On the positive side, Gale is now stable." She saw the relief in both the parents, Rinoa wincing as she relaxed her position a little too much in relief, causing discomfort from her healing wound. "The soft cure we've been administrating has been working very well. We've reduced the dose to once every other day now and by next week, we should be able to stop them completely and let his body do all the work. We don't want to train it to be dependent on magic to maintain itself."

The doctor saw the new mother look at her with the kind of sincere gratitude that she had already seen on too many mothers' faces before. "Thank you."

Doutor nodded in acknowledgment of the sentiment. "I can keep you here until Monday, but then I have to discharge you. I assume you're staying at the presidential palace?" The couple nodded. "Are there any stairs you would need to go up?"

"Only one, but I'm sure we can ask to switch rooms."

"It'll save you a lot of pain."

Rinoa turned to her husband. "You'll ask your father?"

That was one thing about this entire situation that the doctor found the hardest to wrap her head around. Sorceresses and SeeD commanders she could deal with, but the revelation that their jovial president was the father of this serious and quiet man was…mind boggling.

Barring a few physical traits she'd noticed, she didn't see any similarities between the two men. Maybe it was just that she didn't know either of them well at all, but she would never have believed it if she didn't hear it from the SeeD's mouth and see the president hanging around here so much. Sometimes she'd think it was all in her head, and then they'd thrown in a casual comment like this which brought it all crashing down to reality again.

"Laguna won't mind moving our room; after all, he's not the one doing the moving."

Squall's comment drew the doctor out of her thoughts and back to the issue at hand.

"I'd recommend that you do that." She picked up her clip board, preparing to move on. "In meantime, make sure you walk around the room; I don't want you getting a blood clot just before you're due to leave. I'm sure your family will be here in any minute, though I hear the night matron managed to throw them out yesterday."

Squall snorted. "About time someone did."

She was about to scold him for his lack of appreciation for the concern his family had shown him, when she stopped herself. She was beginning to learn that in moments like these, Squall often came across the wrong way. She wasn't sure if he was uncomfortable by the concern, or he simply didn't know how else to deal with it; it wouldn't have been the first time someone expressed themselves in such a way. Not everyone was comfortable opening themselves up to the world.

"I'll send word with nurse who will check-up on you later with details about your meeting with the mid-wife."

With that, she took her leave. Just as she predicted, the rest of the family were making their way down the corridor, the president's daughter happily chatting away with her father. They gave each other a small nod in greeting as they passed. She paused at the end of the corridor, turning back to see the small group disappear through the door to Mrs Leonhart's room.

They were an odd collection of a family, really. It would be interesting to see what Gale Leonhart would grow up to be.

**End of Silence and Motion/Junction**

BLAH! Sorry if this wasn't so fun for your guys. I swear the next chapter will be waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better. Also sorry if the characters were rather…stiff. This was a…difficult chapter to write, but for completely different reason than previously. This felt like a chapter that need to be, but I had no idea what to write, so instead I've ended up with a chapter I really do not like. Unfortunately, there isn't much I can do about it except promise that the next chapter will be up a in the next couple of weeks to make up for it.


	27. Blue Skies

**Blue Skies**

It was a beautiful day. The sun shone down on the open meadow warming the air, but the autumn chill had set in, causing it to lose any bite that it might have had. A clear sky and bright sun gave a cheerful impression with a soft breeze to cool the air to a comfortable temperature; it truly was a beautiful day and it seemed completely at odds with the scene below. Ellone couldn't help but feel that torrential rain, with flashes of lightning and the deep rumble of thunder, would have been more fitting. It would have been as if the world grieved with the family, as angry as they were at the theft of little Ami's life.

But then, perhaps it was better to think of it as the world giving her brother and his wife a hint; to move on, that there were blue skies ahead… and there were. It would take time for the clouds to pass, but they would. It was something that Ellone knew a great deal about, the coming of brighter days after a storm and it was already beginning to happen. It was strange how much good saying goodbye could do. It helped the family with their acceptance, to realise they could move forward without forgetting.

She watched from a distance, standing in the shade of the orphanage building, as Squall and Rinoa laid the last flowers before the grave, alone in the centre of the meadow with their thoughts and final farewells. The remainder of the group had left them alone, walking back to the abandoned building, not wishing to disturb the private moment. Though, only a small group was here to bid farewell to the infant, just the family because that was what they wished for.

She turned away, walking round the building in search of Laguna. Arriving at the front, she only saw Caraway, looking up at the vines wrapping their way round the cracked and crumbling pillars. She considered waiting, but carried on walking instead, eyeing her old home. It may have seemed like an odd place to bury Ami, but the more she thought about it, the more fitting it seemed.

As they thought, neither parent was keen on the idea of burying their daughter in Esthar, a city that held no special place in their hearts.

_"I want somewhere peaceful and pretty," Rinoa had stated, "Not somewhere cold and surrounded by death."_

Which was why they had decided to bury Ami in the centre of the meadow, a place dear to the couple. It was where Rinoa had brought Squall back to the world and more than one oath had been made. It was a stunning location for a last resting place, to lie in peace, beauty and life. Though Ellone couldn't help but wonder if there was something deeper to it than the couple even realised. Perhaps they buried their daughter here because, deep inside, they hoped that they would find their way back to each other one day, even if it wasn't in this life.

Whatever the reason, it ensured that whenever they visited the grave, there would be good memories as well as bad.

She approached the back of the building, the path leading to the beach branching off to her right, before it stood Laguna, watching the orphanage thoughtfully. As she drew close, he looked round at her, for once not smiling.

"Saying their last goodbyes?"

She nodded, stepping close to him. "They might be a while."

"Best not to rush it, let them take their time." He turned to look over the sea, his eyes becoming distant as his mind drifted off and she had a feeling that she knew where to.

"Did you want to see Raine?" She found her fingers intertwining with his and felt a small squeeze on her hand before he answered.

"Yeah, but not today. I can wait." He gave her a small smile before turning to the building that loomed over them. "It's a lot different to how I remember it. Last time I was here is seemed so warm and welcoming, a beautiful little haven in the desert. It's a little sad to see it like this now."

It was, this wasn't the happy place she'd spent five years of her life at, it was just a hollow shell of what it once was. This wasn't what she remembered, not even on the eve of her departure, when dusk had seemed so gloomy. It must have been over fifteen years ago now, since she had last stood on this spot and stared up at the building under the night sky…

_ …She could hear the younger children getting ready for bed inside or, what was more likely, avoiding getting ready for bed. That's what Squall would be doing now, competing with Seifer over who could stay out of bed the longest, before Kelsey dragged them both to the bathroom and made them brush their teeth before forcing them into bed and watching their door so they didn't escape._

_ "Ellone, come. You're making it harder."_

_ She looked up at the building not moving as Edea lightly tugged on her hand. She didn't want to go, she wanted to stay and be with Squall. She would never be able to find Laguna again if she left, but at least if Squall stayed here, she could find him again. However, she didn't want to come back for him, she wanted to be with him now. With Raine dead and Laguna gone, Squall was all she had left of her happy little family. _

_Uncle Laguna…she thought she was past that, but as soon as Edea had mentioned she was going away, into hiding, her first thought had been 'But how will Uncle Laguna find me?' No matter what happened, she just couldn't give up hope on being with her beloved 'uncle' again._

_ "Are you sure I can't bring Squall with me?"_

_ Edea sighed, but it was not a harsh sound make in exasperation, rather a noise of pity. She crouched down to the girl's height. _

_ "Ellone, we've talked about this. Squall's too young to go with you."_

_ "But I'll look after him. I'll always look after him, I promised Raine I would."_

_ "And by letting him stay here you will be. From here you'll be on a boat, always hiding away from the world so those bad people, or someone like them, will never be able to catch you. It will be dangerous; do you want to bring Squall into that? Or would you like him to stay here where he will be safe and happy." _

_ "If he's with me, he'll be happy," but her voice betrayed her uncertainty._

_ "Maybe at first, but what will happen as he grows up and wants his own future? Or when you run into danger? What if he gets hurt or falls over the edge of the ship?"_

_ Ellone didn't have an answer to that. She looked away from the woman and back to the orphanage. She was old enough to understand what Edea was saying, to know that the woman was right, but too young to let go of her selfish desires. She didn't want to leave the orphanage, not when it finally felt like home. It wasn't Winhill, but it was still warm and fun, filled with people she loved. She loved it, but she was so scared. Afraid of men in white coats who wouldn't leave her alone, trying to get into her head, but more than that she was afraid of something that moved behind the scenes, working in the shadows. However, she was almost as sacred of leaving the warmth of home and moving through a scary world. She wanted to have the comfort of Squall's presence if she had to leave, to stay by the boy whom she loved above everyone else around her. She loved Squall like a brother; because he was Raine and Laguna's son._

_ Edea pulled the coat tighter around the young girl. "I need you to be very mature and think of Squall first. Be a big girl and think of what's best for him."_

_ And there it was; the carrot to tempt her forward, the assurance that this was the mature thing to do. To her ten-year-old eyes, she was extremely grown-up. There would be Jam Incidences now, because she knew there were far worse things in life than simply not getting her own way. She had other people to look after now and she always helped Matron when she needed help looking after the others… well, most of the time anyway. However, for once, she didn't want to be grown-up, she wanted to have her cake and eat it._

_ Seeing that she was winning, Edea delivered the final blow. "Squall can't come with you, but you can't stay here either. If you do, the soldiers may come back and take you away."_

_ Fear is a powerful thing, especially the fear of a child. Looking back, Ellone could appreciate how well she had been played. At the mention of soldiers, they appeared in her mind's eye, terrifying men who didn't look human in their bodysuits and seemed to move more like water than men. How they burst into the pub and swept her away. Raine tried to stop them, tried to pull away and take her back, but every time she was pushed to the ground and out of their path. Each time she would stand up again until a soldier had had enough and slammed the butt of his weapon against the side of her head. She'd crumpled to the ground in a way that had terrified the little girl as she was spirited away. _

_ Would Squall do the same? Yes, she was sure he would. He wouldn't let himself be adopted if it meant being separated from her, so she was sure he would fight for Ellone. Squall was only little, if they hit him would he live through it? She wanted to stay, but she had promised to look out for her little brother, maybe this was the only thing she could really do for Raine._

_ She nodded and she saw the relief spread across Edea's face. The matron stood up and took her hand to lead her down to the beach where the ship was bayed._

_ "Ellone!"_

_ The girl's head snapped round at the sound of Squall's voice, hoping that the sight of the boy would give her strength and courage to stay, but the path was empty. _

_ "Sis!" There was a giggle in the voice._

_ "Squall, come back here at once! It's time for bed." The sound of Kelsey's voice made her realise that the boy was still inside the building. _

_ "I want to say goodnight to Sis first."_

_ Ellone's lips trembled and she sniffed loudly. She didn't hold back the tears or the sobs, hoping that Edea would take pity and let the siblings stay together. It didn't work, instead Edea did something she hadn't done in a long time, she bed down and picked the girl up, carrying the sobbing child down to the beach as she mourned the loss of her family. _

_ "It's not forever," Edea whispered in her ear. "You'll see him again one day."_

_ Ellone didn't want 'again', she wanted now. She wished so hard that Edea would have a change of heart, but it was in vein as she was passed to someone to take her onto the boat and they set sail. Edea waved to them from the beach and the elder orphans crowded to the railings to wave goodbye to their old lives. _

_ One by one the others left the deck, to do jobs or simply to settle into their new home, leaving Ellone alone to dry her tears, to stare into the distance and the disappearing coastline. She watched as the boat slowly carried her away from her last tie to Raine and Laguna, all she could do was hold onto Edea's last words and wish they were true. _

_ Wish…she remembered how to make a wish, after all, Uncle Laguna had taught it to her. She slipped onto the floor of the deck and lay down, staring up at the night sky. She would wait until she saw a shooting star and make a wish to the Star Princess. But no star appeared in the sky that night, or the next or the next. She would go up every night and gaze up into the heavens until she fell asleep, but not once did one appear._

_ She remembered wondering, the night of her final vigil as she drifted to sleep, if the Star Princess was finally with her loved one…_

… "Let's see if they're back yet."

Laguna's voice broke her from her thoughts, welcoming her back to the present. Nodding, she linked arms with the man and together they walked.

Edea had been right, she had been reunited with Squall, not only that, but she had found Laguna again. The years she'd spent away from her loved ones had been painful and yet not unpleasant. She had continued to grow up around good people who cared for her and she cared for them. She had liked her time with the White SeeDs, because, while Squall had fallen into despair, she had learnt to accept and make the most of her situation. She did what she thought Laguna would want her to do. Would she replace that time with a life in Winhill with her family if she could? In a heartbeat, but she couldn't. Her childhood and life had taught her many things: patience, kindness, hope, that grief becomes easier to deal with in time and summer always returns.

As they stepped back in front of the ruins, they were greeted by the sight of Caraway talking with Squall, Rinoa leaning against her husband, their hands still firmly clasped together for strength and support. They looked round as the couple approached.

"Have you finished?" Laguna asked, stopping beside them. "Do you need more time?"

Rinoa shook her head. "No, we're done. We've said goodbye and I think we're ready."

"To go back?"

"To move on and," she looked up at Squall who nodded, "to face the world."

**End of Blue Skies**

Whoot! A chapter I am once again happy with, so I hope you guys like it too. :D Would have got this to you earlier, but I got caught up blitzing through 'Tiger and Bunny' for a couple of days.

Next chapter we have a Zell :D


	28. Residents

**Residents**

It was a strange feeling, being in Squall and Rinoa's apartment without the couple being there. It didn't help that Hana was there too; it made this trip feel like they were a couple of teens sneaking into a spare room for some intimate time. But the awkwardness he felt from these imaginary scenarios were easily eclipsed by how awful the actual task that Ellone had assigned to them had made him feel.

They were here to clear away Ami's things.

If he was honest, he wasn't sure if it was a good idea. Would Squall really want him sneaking around his apartment? Would Rinoa want them to stow away their dead child's things? It was almost like they were trying to deny the baby ever existed and that didn't sit well with him.

Ellone had assured him that both Squall and Rinoa had agreed to this, however. They weren't doing this because they were trying to hide evidence of Ami's existence or they didn't think her parents could handle it, but more because the couple had said their good-byes and they were moving on. They didn't want to cause them any unnecessary heartache that would make the two take a step back and keep themselves mired in the past. Zell wasn't sure if it was the right decision, but he trusted Elle and her bond with Squall.

The door slid open and he stepped into the nursery and the orderly mess inside. The two painted cots were pushed against opposite walls, not even four feet apart, while the space between them was filled with bags and boxes containing baby items. He supposed they hadn't felt pressured to organise the room properly with the due date two months down the line from when they had left for Esthar. No point unpacking things just to collect dust, right?

"What do we do with everything?" His girlfriend stepped beside him, looking down at the collection of objects.

"Well, they told us not to get rid of anything yet, so I guess we'll just move it somewhere else."

"Where?"

"Storage. Nowhere else to put it."

"Are we allowed to do that?"

He grinned at her, jerking a thumb at himself. "You forget who you're dating and who we're doing this for. Who's gonna argue with us?"

"Power abuser."

"Is there a better reason for it than now?"

"We better get moving then, we have a lot to do." She looked round, stepping towards the various bags. "We'll have to sort through everything as well. If we place the doubles in this cot," she rested her hand on the pale yellow one on the left, "then we can hopefully take everything down in one go."

Zell grinned at her, throwing himself down onto the floor and dropping the newspaper they brought just in case they needed packaging. "You always come up with brill ideas."

"I work in the library; half my time is spent moving things around." She sat down more gracefully, smoothing down her long skirt as she knelt.

Zell pulled the closest bag towards him. "These are all nappies. Why'd they get four bags of nappies already?"

"Rinoa found them at a 'we're moving down the street' sale. Got them three for one or something along those lines." Upon seeing her lover's puzzled expression, she clarified. "She told me when we were sorting though damaged library books together. No point in getting rid of them so, should we put them in the other cot to keep them out of the way?"

That was his Hana — quietly taking control without asserting herself. Her approach wasn't aggressive, just a gentle suggestion here and there to guide them in the right direction and keep him on track.

"Guess we should," he agreed, dropping the bags in the bed beside him, reaching for the next thing to sort. He peered into a couple of them before muttering, "This is weird. It's not just me, right? It's weird sorting through their unused stuff and taking half of it away when they aren't even here."

"A little," she admitted, taking a pair of boxes from one of the bags, "but I think we really are helping your friends. I just hope we make the right decisions. Animals are more girly than spaceships, aren't they?"

"Huh?"Zell looked up to see his girlfriend holding up a box with a picture of a mobile on the front, one with a little animal dangling from the circular frame. He looked to the other mobile box by her knees. "Yeah, stars and rockets are more boyish, more Squall and Rinoa as well. What about clothes? Do we keep them all or get rid of half of them?" He peered into a new bag.

"Is that all there is?"

"Think so."

"Maybe we should just take out anything too girly then?"

He nodded, discarding two pink bodysuits, leaving the rest of the neutral clothing in the bag. He chuckled as he picked out one little number. "Gotta admit; that's kinda cute." He showed off the cartoon lion on the front with 'one of the pack' scrawled along the bottom. "You know that was Rinoa's idea."

"Not as cute as these." She held up a pair of bears, one yellow and the other mint green. A letter was embroidered onto each belly and the bottoms of the feet so that, side by side, they spelt out 'My Twin'. He took the cardboard stand they sat on.

"They are, aren't they?"

She leaned towards him a little. "It seems like a shame to get rid of them."

"Yeah, but it'll be weird to have Gale wondering around with a teddy that said 'M.T.W' or 'Y.I.N' on it without the second bear."

"We could leave them both here. It might be nice to leave something small behind, so we don't get rid of all of Ami's things. I'm sure they can get rid of it they want."

"Guess it may be nice," Zell admitted, staring down at the toys, his earlier thoughts returning. They wouldn't freak over such a little thing — Rinoa would probably be glad for the gesture. She wouldn't want to hide everything away, burying the memories with them. Hana turned away from him and started digging through more bags.

"It's a little odd to think they finally have a kid," he admitted, putting the bears down and continuing on his task. "Never thought Squall would be the first; kinda thought that would be Selphie and Irvine. Always figured he'd be last, watch us go first and then work up the courage to do the same. Think they'll want a spare bottle?"

As he held up the milk bottle, she nodded. "I'm sure they'll need it."

Placing it to the side, he continued from where he left off. "Can't wait to see Squall get flustered and bothered over things though — it'll be a nice change from being Mr. Cool and Calm all the time."

"That's mean," she chided, though her words didn't sound scolding in the least, "I'm sure you won't be much better when you have your own kid."

"Hey, at least I have experience with these things."

"Really?"

"Yeah, used to have to look after Kevin a lot."

"Kevin?"

"The Big Bad Rascal, doesn't like being called Kevin, says it's a stupid name or something. Before that, I used to help Matron out with the orphanage all the time too."

"What about Squall?"

"Nah, didn't look after him much." He grinned, chuffed with his quick timing.

She suppressed a laugh and shot him a look over her shoulder. "That's not what I meant and you know it."

"He's never been much of the mothering type, not even when he was hanging around Ellone."

"And you are?" Her smile was soft, her tone lacking any bite what-so-ever.

"I can be very nurturing…well, I used to get stuck with Kevin a lot. At the orphanage, the others occasionally used to get mad at me so Edea would get me to help her out so I wasn't just moping around."

"Did it happen often?"

"Occasionally…"

…_Zell sat on the back door step, his cheeks resting against his fists as he looked gloomily down the path to the beach. He was bored out of his mind, but he couldn't do anything about it. All his friends were doing extra chores and even if they weren't, they wouldn't play with him. It had been like that ever since he'd told on them. He hadn't done it because he wanted to make them mad, he just knew that playing with fireworks was wrong and dangerous. But no matter what his reasons for tattling were, now none of his friends would talk to him. _

_ Well, Seifer still spoke to him…just to pick on him. It was worse than ever and he had no one to back him up, which meant that he was avoiding the other blond whenever he could. The bully was tending to the flowers round the back of the house, which meant that Zell couldn't even run round the building to pass the time. _

_ "What are you doing there, Zell?"_

_ He looked up to see Matron standing over him with little Charlotte balanced on her hip. The child was new to the orphanage — barely eight months old and already an orphan. Little tuffs of red hair were beginning to creep down her neck and her big blue eyes always seemed intent on gazing at the world around her in amazement._

_ "I'm bored," the boy replied._

_ "Are you not going to play with your friends?"_

_ He shook his head. "They're still mad at me."_

_ Edea nodded in understanding, watching as the boy kicked a stone by his foot. "It's not nice to tell on people, but you were right this time. You stopped one of your friends from getting seriously hurt."_

_ "They don't think so," came his glum reply._

_ He felt a hand ruffle his hair. "They will one day and, long before that, they will forgive you and you will all be playing together again." When he didn't perk up at this, she continued. "If you're bored, why don't you help me with Charlotte?"_

_ He looked up, his gaze shifting between the woman and child. He wasn't crazy about babies, not like the girls were. They always seemed to smell, dribble and throw up, but it could be fun to play with them and he _was _bored. Besides, he always liked helping Matron._

_ He jumped to his feet. "Okay."_

_She took his hand, leading him into the kitchen._

_ She deposited Charlotte in the highchair by the small table in the centre of the room and set about looking through a nearby cupboard. Zell pulled a chair closer to the baby and scrambled up to her. Leaning against the table, he watched the girl's eyes look around the entire room. Matron came to sit opposite him with a jar and spoon in one hand. _

_ "Are we going to feed her?"_

_ "That's right." _

_She twisted the lid off with a small pop, which caught the baby's attention. Dipping the spoon into the mixture, which looked very unappealing to Zell, she scooped out a small amount and lifted the babe, effortlessly slipping it into the mouth. She took a little more food from the jar, but the child's attention had drifted to Zell._

_ "Charlotte," Edea gently called the girl's name, causing the child to turn and take another mouthful. She repeated the action several times, scooping up food that dribbled down the baby's chin before she turned to Zell._

_ "Would you like to try?"_

_ The boy nodded enthusiastically. Taking the spoon and jar, he shovelled a generous amount onto the spoon._

_ "That's too much. Remember, she's only little." So he tipped some of the paste back until Matron gave him the all clear. "Now, just bring it to her mouth and she'll open up. Don't push the spoon in too far though."_

_ He did as he was instructed and was surprised by how easy it all was. Edea stood, making her way to the fridge and started to pull out some ingredients for dinner, the action attracting the baby's attention. Zell scooped up a little more food, but with her face turned away, the food went unnoticed. He tried to move it closer to her, leaning across the table, but found his reach falling short. He frowned in frustration, though it faded as he remembered what Matron had done._

_ "Charlotte." The girl remained more interested in the fridge. "Charlotte," he tried again, his tone becoming more annoyed, but she still would not face him. Then he had a bright idea._

_ He placed the spoon on the highchair tray, slid off his seat and ran round the table to climb up onto Matron's vacated chair. As his head popped up over the counter, he saw the babe pick up the spoon. Giggling, she waved it around as Zell tried to grab it._

_ "Give it back," he moaned. It was bad enough when Seifer did this to him, let alone some kid who wasn't even one yet. _

_ Laughing, she made a vicious movement with the utensil, sending the food flying into his face. Making a small whimper, he wiped the food away and he finally latched onto the spoon, now fed-up with this game. Unfortunately, the girl had a surprisingly-tight grip on the cutlery. When he started to pull it free from her fingers, her face fell and she voiced her objection. The beginning of the bawl made him stop. He wasn't happy about the food, and he wanted the spoon back, but he didn't want to make her cry. _

_ Suddenly Matron was by his side, wiping his face and hand with a damp cloth. Turning around, she smoothly plucked the spoon away from the little girl without so much of a whimper of disappointment. Still smiling, she placed the jar and the spoon back in his hands. _

_ "Try again," she whispered before bringing her food preparations to the table, cutting up some cherry tomatoes as she oversaw his task._

_ And so he did, but Charlotte no longer seemed interested in the food. He managed another couple of mouthfuls before her focus had completely drifted elsewhere. When Zell tried for a fourth time, the girl reached out to Edea's chopping, making a small noise of wanting. He turned to the woman who held up the salad for the babe to see._

_ "Would you like some?" Dicing up a couple of tomatoes into small pieces, she scraped them onto a small plastic plate. "You can close the jar now," she said to Zell as she placed the plate before Charlotte. "She won't be interested in it anymore and it's good for her to start eating something new." _

_ "But you always tell us that _we_ have to finish what's on our plates before we can have something new." There was an accusing tone in his voice, challenging the injustice of the situation. _

_ However, the woman's smile never wavered as she returned to her task. "You're right, but it's more important for a growing baby at her age to try some vegetables and fruit than it is for them to finish what's in their pot. New food gives them important nutrients that baby food and milk can't give them and starts to ease them onto grown-up food." _

_ Zell nodded, figuring it made sense. After all, he wasn't eating that mush at the dinner table. He watched as the girl clumsily picked up a piece of salad and placed it in her mouth, engulfing her fingertips as she did so. Behind him, Edea returned to the side surface and he could hear the clunking of pots and lids while he watched Charlotte. She behaved at first, apparently enjoying the new taste, but soon she seemed happier to squash and play with her food. _

_ "You're supposed to eat it," the boy pointed out as she picked up a piece another piece, dropping it on the floor, "That was naughty!" _

_He jumped down to the floor to retrieve the wayward fruit, but as he bent down, something wet struck the back of his neck. Above him came a gleeful laugh. Quickly straightening up, he scooped away the chunk of tomato before it slipped under his t-shirt. _

"_Charlotte!" he exclaimed. "That wasn't very nice!"_

_She giggled again and picked up another small chunk, lifting it up over his head. _

"_Charlotte," there was a warning edge in Edea's voice now, causing the babe to pull back her arm and return the food to its proper use while still giggling. _

_Zell turned round to look at the woman, who was now stirring a casserole, in amazement._

"_How'd you do that?"_

_She pulled out the wooden spoon, smiling over her shoulder. "Magic," she said with a teasing glint in her eyes, "Put the food that she dropped in the bin, please."_

_He did as he was told and took up his previous post again. Matron was now opening up an overhead cupboard in the background. _

_ "That's good, eat all you' food up. Don't drop any." Zell encouraged, ignoring Edea's soft laugh behind him. Finally the tiny girl put the last piece in her mouth and the boy applauded her. "Good job, you ate it all up!"_

_ He felt a warm hand on his shoulder and he looked up to see Edea standing over him once more with a box in her hands. _

_ "Thank you Zell, you were a huge help."_

_ He beamed back at her, feeling infinitely better than he had half an hour ago. "Was I really?"_

_ She smiled down at him and kissed his temple. "Yes, you were very helpful so I have something for you." She opened up the box to reveal the chocolate chip cookies inside and his eyes lit up. "I think you should share them with your friends."_

_ He sank a little in his seat. He didn't really want to share with the ones who were being mean to him. _

"_I think," she continued in a soft voice, "that your friends won't be so cold after they've had something delicious."_

_ He suddenly straightened up, now understanding why Matron was telling him to share. And so he snatched up the box and ran off, shouting 'thanks' over his shoulder. He ran through the house, bolting out the back door and skidding round the corner to where his friends were tending to the back garden. They looked up as he appeared and Seifer glared at him from where he was crouching in the flowerbed. _

_ "What do _you_ want?"_

_ "Yeah, we're not doing anything wrong," Selphie piped up as she waddled over to the flowers, carrying a heavy watering can. _

_ Zell stopped, almost tempted to turn back and run away. He figured he could find a quiet spot and eat all the cookies by himself, but then, Matron would be angry when she found out, and she would find out, because she knew everything. Besides, he wanted his friends back. So, he swallowed back the nerves and opened the tub. _

_ "I brought some cookies."_

_ The others dropped whatever they were doing and rushed over to him, peering down into the box. _

_ "Where'd you get them from?" Selphie asked, reaching in to take one._

_ "The kitchen."_

_ "How'd you get them?" Irvine took a biscuit for himself. _

_ He was about to answer truthfully when he stopped. If they thought he was too much of a goody-two-shoes then…why not let them think he had stolen them? _

_ "I…I took them," he stuttered. It wasn't entirely a lie and he felt smug as the others nodded approvingly, a little impressed. That was, apart from Seifer who wriggled his nose._

_ "Yeah, right. Matron probably gave them to you."_

_ Zell snatched the box away as the other blond reached inside. "Then don't have any."_

_ "Okay, okay. You took them, now give me one."_

_ Reluctantly, Zell held the box back out to him. _

_ "Thank you, Zell," Quistis chimed, reminding the others of their manners and the boy grinned to himself. It looked like everything was back to normal…_

(&)

…Hana laughed softly, causing Zell to look up at her.

"What!"

She stood up, brushing down her skirt needlessly. "You were a sweet kid."

"Hey, where you going?" he asked as she walked towards the door.

"Coffee, did you want one?" She suddenly stopped at the entranceway, "They won't mind, will they?"

"Sure they won't," he replied right before he watched her leave, leaning back against the wall.

His eye caught the newspaper to the side. 'LEONHARTS LOSE BABY GIRL' was stamped across the front in bold text. It was strange; the newspaper's announcement didn't make the whole affair more real, but rather surreal. For something so personal to become common knowledge to the world felt strange. Zell wouldn't be comfortable with it, so he couldn't imagine how Squall would be feeling. The gang was just relieved that Squall and Rinoa had been pretty much left alone. There was a large colour picture of the couple in the hospital grounds, but it had clearly been snapped from far away. The press had stayed clear of the couple in person, bothering friends and hospital staff instead. It was annoying, but they could live with it for the sake of their friends.

"They'll be fine." Zell looked up at the sound of Hana's voice to see her standing in the doorway, holding two steaming mugs.

He grinned widely at her. "I know, just thinking."

She set the mugs down and sat in front of him. "What about?"

He shrugged. "Stuff. Never thought they'd lose one of the twins. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do."

"I don't think there is anything else to do; they aren't expecting anything from you."

"Yeah, but it doesn't stop me from wanting to do something."

"It makes you a good person." She leaned forward and brushed her lips against his. "But don't let it get to you. I want to keep my happy-Zell, so don't get lost in there."

He smiled. "Ain't gonna happen." Leaning forward ever-so-slightly, he caught her lips. The kiss was brief, Hana pulling away soon to rest her forehead against his.

"Don't worry about it, there's nothing you can do about it."

His fingers brushed back a lock of her hair, stoking her cheek as he did so and breathing in the peace that surrounded them. It was just the two of them — him and his Hana.

She wasn't a stunning beauty like Quistis, but she was more than pretty enough for him, a simple beauty. It wasn't like dating the glamorous star that resembled a dream that would fly away, but a real person who would stand by him forever.

She wasn't like perky Selphie, but a calming influence on him and, while she may not have the bold confidence of Rinoa, she had the self-assurance of a woman who knew who she was and what she wanted in life. She shied away from the spotlight, being more than content to stay in Zell's shadow, to stand by his side and quietly support him. She wasn't the life of the party or the one that stood out in the crowd, but she seemed so perfect to him.

With her soft calming voice with steely determination, she was someone he could see himself coming home to everyday to until he was an old, senile man drawing his last breath. She was what he saw as a lifetime companion, someone to love and be loved by in return. In his mad life, she could be the eye of the storm. She was like…home.

At times like these, he couldn't help but wonder if he wanted to marry her — it was hard not to when his friends were already taking those steps forward. As he sat here with her right now, he could already see a clear answer in his mind — yes, just not yet.

He wasn't ready for that, happy to remain like this for a little longer. He'd give it a year, maybe two or more, for them to be confident in their relationship and their place in life. Maybe after he retired from SeeD and was ready for something new and exciting. It wasn't as if they were going anywhere and if they were then marriage now wasn't a good idea anyway. No, they were happy the way they were to leave married life until they were older and truly ready.

Hana shifted, pulling away and sitting back. She reached for her coffee and took a long sip.

"We better get back to work; we still have a lot to do."

"I thought we were getting a break?"

"We just had one."

"Come on, five more minutes? Just so I can finish my coffee."

She smiled, shifting to sit next to him and resting her head against his shoulder. "Just five more minutes."

**End of Residents**

Sorry for the long wait guys, this was tricky and the last month has been a busy one for me, doesn't help that I erm-ed and ah-ed about this chapter a lot. On the plus side, the next chapter is written and just needs to be typed up. It's one that I've been waiting to post up for AGES :D Can't wait to post it, so it should be up in the next couple of weeks. No promises though.

We are drawing to the end of the story though.


	29. Truth

**Truth**

Through the large glass window, Laguna gazed at the beautiful bundle that lay in the middle row — 'Gale Robert Leonhart' written on the card hanging from the front of the cot. They'd finally deemed it safe to move Gale, preparing him and his family to leave the hospital. Of course, this also meant that people could come and see him now, a particular detail that had definitely not gone unnoticed; he'd had a stream of guests from family and friends already. Laguna couldn't tear his eyes away from his beautiful grandson; it was just so amazing to finally see him after everything that had happened. Standing here now, he couldn't be more grateful for the chance that Squall had given him.

The rapid fall of feet drew his attention away from the object of adoration. Selphie could be seen running down the corridor and there was no doubt that her husband couldn't have been too far behind. They'd recently arrived back in Esthar, passing through after completing their mission. She skidded to a stop beside him and for a moment there, Laguna was genuinely worried that she was going to bowl him over. She pressed her hands against the window as she scanned the rows for her friend's son.

The president lifted a hand to point the child out, but she stopped him.

"I wanna find him myself."

Irvine stepped behind his wife, giving Laguna a nod and tip of his hat. "Afternoon Laguna. How's Rinoa and Squall doing?"

"As well as you can expect. They haven't taken it well, but they're recovering. Thought you would have seen them first?"

"We did, but you know Squall — he ain't the easiest person to read."

Laguna only had a minute to reflect on the pleasures of people turning to _him_ to find out about Squall, when Selphie cried out.

"Found him!" She bounced to the balls of her feet, hoping to get a better view. "He's so cute, look at him! He's gonna be a pretty boy, I just know it. Oh, look at those tiny hands with their tiny fingers." She gasped. "Look at that one yawn, and that one stretching her fingers." She pointed to each one in turn, her eyes sparkling. "They're all so cute. I wanna hold one." Her eyes started going misty as she looked back at Gale. "I wonder when he'll start talking and walking… oh, and he'll have adorable little clothes as well and those cute little toys…"

Reaching behind her, she entangled her fingers in her lover's necklace, pulling him closer.

"Irvy, I wanna baby," she uttered, her eyes trained on the children before them.

Irvine wordlessly grinned back at her.

She finally looked away and back to her husband, a slow grin spread across her face. Without a second glance at Laguna, she led him away, leaving the other man standing by himself and feeling more than a little awkward.

On their way out, they passed Squall coming from the other way. The young man paused as he watched his friends leave and turned back to Laguna.

"I thought they'd stay for longer."

"Be grateful they aren't."

"I'll take your word for it."

The younger man stepped forward to fill the space that Selphie had just left, his eyes automatically seeking out his baby son. Something filled his expression, a look and a shine that he had never seen on Squall's face, not even when his gaze fell on Rinoa. It made Laguna once again feel the keen stab of what he had missed with Squall, but the air was still as Laguna watched his son watch _his_ son. There was something about that moment that felt so peaceful.

"The doctors say he's blind."

Squall's comment was like being struck in the face, making him reel out of the moment with his head spinning. "What?"

"Blind," he repeated, "not completely, but legally. It's not going to get better though."

"Isn't there something they can do? Laser eye surgery or something?"

"His eyesight will get worse over time regardless of what they try. Even if they restore his sight now, or as much as they can, it will only degrade again. Surgery can only do so much. By the time he's five, it will be completely useless."

"I'm sorry." He seemed to be saying that a lot recently.

"At least he's alive," his son's voice was calm, gentle even."Rinoa and I can deal with whatever disability he has. As long as he's alive, we can make it through. We'll just have to work a little harder."

Laguna was about to blurt out that he was glad to hear that, but stopped himself just in time. To say such a thing would have implied that he had doubts about how well Squall could have handled this, rather than simply being glad that he was ploughing on through the hard times.

"You'll make it though," he said instead. "You two are strong."

He turned back to his sleeping grandson. Gale looked so small and helpless in his little cot. Although smaller than he should have been, even he could tell just by looking at the other babies, he shone amongst them, so much more beautiful and remarkable than any of them. Of course, it could have simply been the familial bias talking.

Laguna pushed aside thoughts of what Squall might have looked like as a baby, not wishing to spoil the moment with bitter thoughts of a missed past. His son had given him the most wonderful gift he could have wanted — a family, a newborn grandson and all the grief that came with them. It was painful to lose one of the twins and to have the other so tragically handicapped, but the mere fact that he was alive and going to live and grow seemed to make the last few weeks all worthwhile. To see his grandson, to be able to be a part of his life…it was one of the best things to have ever happened to him. Something he'd never thought he'd ever be able to thank Squall enough for.

"Thank you," Laguna told him, figuring he might as well make a start "for letting me in, for giving me the chance to become part of this. I'm glad that, for whatever reason, you decided that you weren't angry and to give me a chance."

"Do you want to know why I made that decision?"

"Sorry, I wasn't hinting or anything," he hastily explained, "I just meant that, no matter what, I'm thankful for the position I'm in now."

"But you are curious?"

He'd be lying if he said he wasn't, but he respected Squall's wishes to keep certain things private. However, it did seem like his son was offering to share the information with him. Perhaps there was no harm in admitting that and taking Squall's lead from there. If the other man didn't want to discuss it after all, he would let the matter lie.

"Yeah, but you don't have to tell me, not if you don't want to. I respect your wishes for privacy."

Squall didn't reply at first, his eyes remaining focused on Gale, but Laguna knew his thoughts were elsewhere.

"It's not my privacy I'm worried about," he said as he finally looked up at his father. "This stays between us." When Laguna nodded, he turned away again. "A couple of days before I spoke with you, Irvine came to see me…"

_…There was a knock at the door, causing Squall to look up in surprise. He'd just closed down his computer for the night, ready to go to bed and was seriously considering just ignoring the noise. Surely, whoever it was could wait until morning. If they thought it was fine to call on him at this time then they deserved to be left in the corridor. _

_ The knock came again, louder this time. Of course, since no one would normally come knocking at __his__ door at this hour, not even his friends, this probably meant that whatever they had to say was important. Not to mention the fact that if this continued, they would probably wake up Rinoa. Suppressing a groan, he glanced over at the bedroom door to check if it was closed before making his way to the front door. This had better be important, he thought to himself. _

_ Taking a deep breath, he got ready to snap at the person on the other side, but the words on his tongue never left his mouth._

_ "Irvine?"_

_ The cowboy grinned at him, leaning against the doorway with a bottle of whiskey in one hand. "The one and only."_

_ "What are you doing here?"_

_"Well, Selphie's on a mission at the moment so I thought my ol' buddy Squall would have a drink with me."He shook the bottle to emphasise his point._

_ "It's two a.m. Irvine."_

_ "I know, but it's just a drink. Please."_

_ Something in his eyes pleaded for Squall to agree with him, effectively stopping the commander from turning away his friend. Instead he nodded, stepping to the side to let the other man into the apartment before closing the door behind them. He watched as the taller man strode over to the couch and dropped onto it, depositing the whiskey on the coffee table. _

_ "I'll get us some glasses." Squall threw into the silence, quickly disappearing into the kitchen. He had no idea why Irvine was here, but he knew it wasn't just for a late night/early morning drink; he wasn't that dense. The other man had disappeared to Fisherman's Horizon for the weekend, a rather confusing vacation choice as it had little to offer other than fishing and places to laze around. It didn't seem like the cowboy's dream holiday and it didn't help that it wasn't the most SeeD-friendly place in the world either. What was weirder was that the man wasn't due back for another day. While he could believe that the man had simply gotten bored and come back early, it didn't explain why he decided that a stop off at his friend's place was in order._

_ Opening the freezer door, he took a few ice cubes and dropped them into the glasses as he braced himself for what was certain to be a very tense conversation. Handing the glasses over to his friend to fill up, he took his seat at the other end of the sofa. _

_ They sat in silence for a few minutes, each holding their drink but not speaking, creating the first awkward moment between them in years. It was Irvine who finally broke the silence._

_ "Have you spoken to Laguna again?"_

_ "Not yet," he admitted. _

_ It wasn't that he hadn't thought about it, he had, a great deal. After all, it wasn't the kind of thing that one just forgets about. It was just that he genuinely had no idea how to feel or react. Something told him he should be angrier than he was, but he couldn't work up his emotions enough to care about it. Laguna had just appeared too late in his life for it to matter. Perhaps fifteen years ago, he may have cared, possibly ten, maybe even five. He'd never had a father before now, so there was nothing to miss. It was never something he thought about or yearned for as a child and nothing had changed now. A father was a non-factor for him, unimportant. _

_He couldn't deny that he was upset about what Ellone have been put through. Every now and then, he found himself wondering what may have happened if he had grown up with a sister and parents and the stirrings of some ugly emotions would rear its head, but they vanished as quickly as they appeared. He would see a life without Rinoa, which seemed like a far worse fate, bringing him back to square one. _

_Unfortunately, he had no desire to talk to Laguna about it either, especially not now when he wasn't sure what he would say. Naturally, Rinoa encouraged him, telling him that it had taken a lot of courage for him to even reveal their relation to each other. Part of him knew she was right, acutely aware that if she could bridge the gap between her and her father, then he could do the same with Laguna. The problem was that Squall didn't want Laguna hanging around in his life. He didn't want to give what the other man was hoping for — a second chance. Laguna had missed out and that was his problem. Squall was finally happy with his life and he didn't see the point of trying to reach out. _

"_You should," Irvine interrupted his thoughts, taking a swig of his drink._

"_So everyone says," Squall muttered._

"_Why don't you then?"_

"_I don't know what to say to him."_

"_That mad at him?_

"_No," Squall started on his drink, the sharp taste of cheap whiskey filling his mouth, "Not really. I just don't need him in my life."_

"_He's not a bad person, 'fact, I'd say he's a great person."_

"_I know and it wasn't his fault, but doesn't mean that he deserves a space in my life now."_

_The room descended into silence again, both men sipping their drinks._

"_I got a letter from my father," Irvine suddenly announced._

_Squall looked up at his friend. "I thought he was dead."_

"_Not Kinneas, my biological father." Oh, Squall had an idea of where this was going. "He said that he'd read about me and wanted to meet, that he was proud of me. Said we could talk about my mother and explain what had happened. I was kinda skeptical about his claim. I mean, I'd always assumed they'd died in the war, like Selphie's. Thought he might have been trying to dupe me for money or something, so I looked him up. Cid let me look at the orphanage records and everything seemed to match up._

"_Turns out he and his wife were some of the original settlers to FH. Came from Esthar to escape the war and live in peace. You know, the whole spiel. He still lives in the house they built together so I thought, why not? Selphie was away and I was curious. I wanted to know who my real parents were and why I was at the orphanage."_

_Irvine paused to finish the contents of his glass. Reaching for the bottle, he poured himself another drink, topping up Squall's as he did so._

"_So, I went to his place and it's a nice house. He earns a decent income as a fisherman and he's doesn't have anyone to share it with, so he's well off. He showed me pictures of my ma — she was pretty and looked way younger than him, but she was apparently a couple of years older. Here's the real killer though. She's Flo's younger sister, the major's wife. He talked about how they'd met and moved from Esthar, but he kept skipping around the topic of me. I wasn't sure if that was a bad sign or not, but I finally got him to spill." The cowboy let out a sharp laugh. "Turns out he never actually wanted me, only my ma did. She wanted a kid, had wanted one for years, but they'd always put it off — first the war, then moving to FH and then the starting of a new life and a new nation. _

"_Once they were settled, there was nothing to stop them and he'd run out of excuses. She was more desperate than ever and he was worried she'd leave him if he didn't give her want she wanted. That was all that really mattered to him in the end — what she wanted. They had me and named me after her dad; he was a lecturer or something at Esthar University. Apparently, she loved me to bits, was so proud and always showing me off. Then when I was a year old, she slipped off a dock and was crushed between a wall and the hull of a ship._

"_So there he was, daddy dearest, left with little ol' me, a baby he never wanted. He tried to get Flo to take me, sayin' she would raise me better than he ever could. She refused, thinking it would force him to look after me but he sent me across the world to be off his hands instead. He says he panicked because he didn't know how to deal with a baby, like hell that's stopped anyone before. At least most people fuckin' try first. If he'd had a go at it, then maybe he would have found that it wasn't so bad, but it seems like I wasn't worth the try. No matter how many times he said he was upset at my mother's death or clueless about kids, it didn't change the fact that he didn't even try."_

_He drained his glass once more, setting it on his knee. "So, I got up and walked out. When he asked where I was going, I told him that I didn't think it was gonna work out." He refilled his glass. "I think I handled it pretty well."_

_Squall didn't say anything, unsure of what one said in these circumstances. He didn't really think that 'sorry' cut it and he had no words of comfort for his friend. He wasn't even sure why Irvine had decided that __he__ was the best person to come to. Comforting people was not his forte. _

"_It's a shame."Irvine handed him the bottle, though commander set it down again without topping up his drink. "She seemed like a really good person, would have been better if he'd been crushed instead of her. I don't know why he bothered contacting me though. I mean, hell, how'd he think I was gonna react? That I wouldn't care and we'd go on to be best buddies? It wouldn't have been half as bad if he'd tried, then I could get why, but giving up before he'd even given it a chance…?"_

_The cowboy held up his whiskey to the light, watching it filter through he spoke more softly. _

"_You're really lucky, you know that right?"_

_Squall looked up, surprised by his comment. "Me?"_

"_Yeah, you know that Laguna didn't abandon you on purpose, he probably didn't know you were alive for years. If he did know, he would have gone all the way across the world to find you, just like he did for Ellone." He brought the tumbler back to his lips. "'Cause that's the kind of guy he is. There was nothing he could have done about what happened. You both just got screwed over by life."_

_Squall watched the ice in his glass clink against the glass as he tilted his tumbler, slowly melting in the amber liquid._

"_Then why did he never go back for Ellone?" The question was softly spoken and he wasn't entirely sure who it was directed at — himself, Irvine or maybe Laguna. _

"_Mmm?" Irvine looked across at him. _

"_Laguna travels all over the world to rescue Elle, and when he loses her again, he does nothing."_

"_I don't think he did nothing, I'm sure he did everthin' he could. I have no idea why he didn't find Ellone, but it's gotta be a damn good reason."_

_The SeeD commander acknowledged his point with silence. He knew Irvine was right; it was one of those very annoying things that he'd always known deep down inside. It was just another thing to add to the list of reasons why his mind refused to truly be angry at Laguna. The man couldn't have left to escort Elle back to Winhill because that would have doomed Esthar to collapse in on itself and then, after becoming president, he was no longer free to go gallivanting around the world. It would have been selfish and irresponsible to do so. Laguna was many things, but he had to admit that selfish was not one of them. _

"_I'm sorry that things didn't work out for you," Squall offered._

"_It s'okay," he said, though the words were clearly a lie, "My ol' man was a million times better anyway." The cowboy leaned back into the sofa. "I fucking miss him at times."_

_A bit of envy swept though Squall. Irvine had at least had that father figure in his life that he clearly loved. He didn't blame his friend for rejecting his biological father, especially after his surrogate father had grown to love him after having little interest in raising a son. However, it was easier to reject than accept. Rinoa had had her father in her life since she was born and had only recently welcomed him back. _

_If Squall made a mistake, went missing on a mission or absent for extended periods of time, how could he expect forgiveness and civility if he didn't give it to Laguna, who did not deserve the scorn that Squall could easily give him? Why reject him full-out when he felt no real malice towards him? Because there was no place for him in Squall's life and he had no desire to create one? However, the situation could have been a hell of a lot worse. Like Irvine, he could have been rejected out-right, not that Laguna would ever actually do that. Laguna's greatest sin in regards to Squall had been ignorance. _

_He knew that he should talk to Laguna, having kept the other man in the dark for long enough. He deserved an answer and Squall felt like he was ready to give him one. He accepted the situation, but not the need for a father. _

_However, he wasn't sure if he would have been so 'eager' if he'd known that Irvine's situation was one of the key factors in pushing Squall to accept Laguna's proposal…_

"…I guess I should be thanking Irvine then."

"I don't think he'll be happy with you knowing," Squall warned, "and you said you'd keep it between us."

"I know, don't worry. I'll take it to my grave. I won't even tell Elle." Now that would be tricky, he admitted to himself. "It doesn't matter though. In the end, it was your decision. It's always been your decision, no matter what influenced you to make the choice. You could have easily gone the other way so, thank you."

Squall glanced at him. "You're…welcome. I suppose you showed me that there is a place that you can make with us."

Laguna turned his gaze back to his grandson, unable to stop himself from smiling. He could not wait to get started and hold that baby.

"What now?" he asked.

"We go home and I'll start a life with my new family. We'll remember Ami and help Gale grow strong, let him choose his own path in life."

"That's another good choice."

"I think I understand now," Squall spoke slowly, as if he was unsure of the words he was saying," why you didn't regret me."

This time, Laguna really did grin. "I know."

Squall had lost a lot, but he'd gained so much more. He'd lost his first-born daughter, but he'd gained a son, a father and the knowledge that some things are worth the heartache they come with.

**End of Truth**

There you go. Man, I've been wanting to post this up for AGES. I've had this planned for so long.

It was actually very tricky; trying to figure out how to do this. I knew that Rinoa was going to have complications, but I didn't know how to conclude it. To lose (what was then) one, seemed anti-climatic, so did everything turning out fine. To make them have twins and keep one and lose one seemed…like cheating. Having my cake and eating it. Then the epilogue planted itself in my head and the idea of Gale being blind took root and grew until I couldn't do without it. It's actually part of Gale's character that I'm very keen on.


	30. Overture

**A/N:** I'm very happy that I managed to get this out on Rinoa's birthday :D

A special shout-out to Ronin-ai who was my 200th reviewer. Thank you very much; the response to this fanfic has received has been amazing, it's really blown me away. I'd never dreamed that I'd ever get 100 reviews, let alone 200 for anything :D

**Overture**

Squall looked down at what was possibly the most incredible thing he'd ever seen in his life — his son, in his arms. He was wonderful, beautiful and…his son. He had no idea why this idea was suddenly so hard to digest. He knew this moment was coming for months; it wasn't as if it had leaped out and surprised him like it had when Laguna found out about him. He'd seen the baby for weeks in the hospital and yet it was nothing in comparison to actually holding and feeling his son as he lay against his bare arms.

Not even when he'd married his wife had he felt this sense of wonder and amazement. This wasn't just any baby; this was _his_ child with his flesh and blood. It was a little part of him mixed with a little part of Rinoa. A testament of their love, something they and they alone had created and would continue to nurture. It had nothing to do with crazed sorceresses or SeeD battles and yet this had to be the most incredible thing that he had ever done. To have Gale in his arms, to feel his weight and heat while those pale eyes stared up at him, seemingly confirming all his feelings. If only…

He pushed that thought away, dealing with the sharp pang of guilt that it had brought. It would have been nice to hold Ami at least once.

"He's beautiful," Ellone's voice breathed from beside him, bringing an undeniable rush of pride within him which manifested itself as a small smile.

He knew that she wasn't going to say that Gale was ugly, seeing as people always tended to say that babies were beautiful, but he couldn't help but feel that it was true in this case. It looked as though his fatherly pride was kicking in.

His sister giggled, whispering, "I never thought that I'd actually get to see you holding a baby."

He couldn't give a sharp retort to that because, to be perfectly honest, he didn't think he'd see this moment either.

It was the strangest contrast to see a tiny baby lying against the strong, well-toned muscles of his arms that were more accustomed to wielding weapons than cradling something so delicate and gentle. However it wasn't only his son that made this a truly astounding picture. It was that, for the first time in his life, he was surrounded by people whom he welcomed but had not really chosen to be in his life.

Caraway floated around them, watching his grandson while not pressing himself on Squall, unlike Laguna who stood directly before his son, staring rather starry-eyed at the infant. Ellone stood to his right. All the while Rinoa moved around them, snapping pictures, her movements still hampered by her still-healing cut. He was encircled by people and for once, it wasn't by friends, but people whom he shared a whole different relationship with. For the first time in his life, he was surrounded by family.

Laguna looked up when Ellone had spoken, grinning widely. "Of course he's beautiful, wouldn't expect any less."

Ellone giggled and Squall wanted to shake his head. He knew Laguna wasn't perfect and he still wasn't completely at ease with the older man, but he was getting there and was starting to think of him as a father. Strangely, the moments that made him most awkward were those when he'd made Laguna happy or knew he would. He wasn't sure how to deal with it and it made him a little embarrassed. He assumed that's why it made him uncomfortable anyway, but he still wasn't sure. Not even now as he experienced the feeling. Laguna turned back to him, grin still in place and Squall nudged the feelings to the side.

"Did you want to hold Gale?"

As expected, the older man's eyes lit up, as if he'd been offered all the riches in the world, and that expected wave of awkwardness followed, though perhaps not quite as strong as he'd expected.

"You're sure?"

Squall nodded and started passing over the most precious thing in his life. Laguna rushed to accept his grandson, grinning down at the bundle foolishly.

"Hey there, I'm your granddaddy Laguna." Beside him, Rinoa caught the moment on camera. "We're going to get to know each other very well. You're going to be spoiled rotten."

"No he's not," the parents automatically chimed in.

Squall folded his arms across his chest, frowning at _his_ new father in the hopes of nipping this matter in the bud. He was not going to bring up a spoilt brat, like a cross between Seifer and the pampered girls of Galbadia.

Ellone tried to cover her mouth to prevent her laugh from escaping. Failing miserably, she added her two cents.

"Looking at those two, I don't think you have a choice."

Everyone glanced between the two very different grandfathers. Laguna was practically glowing with pride, while Caraway stood by his shoulder, his own pleasure subtler, but still clear for the world to see. Squall couldn't deny his sister's words; he might have to keep an eye on both of the men at this rate.

"Hey," Laguna objected, looking up from Gale, "We're grandfathers and that's what we get to do. We don't see him every day and in return, we get to take him out and buy him presents when we do see him. It's like the law; we get to be the cool, popular ones."

Laguna stared at them, wide-eyed and earnest and while Caraway showed no indication that he agreed, though it didn't appear as if he'd objected to the statement either. Squall resisted the urge to groan. Still, he supposed this was a consequence he could live with.

"I'd hardly call you cool."

Laguna's eyes widened into a look of horror that lacked any real conviction.

"You don't?"

Squall shook his head, causing Laguna to turn to Elle instead.

"Did you hear that? He doesn't think I'm cool!"

His daughter slipped her arm through his, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Ahhh. I think you're cool, Uncle Laguna."

He beamed down at her, the grin returning. Squall was never going to be as close to Laguna as Ellone was, no matter how she referred to the older man — it just wasn't possible. Laguna had only just walked into his life, but for Ellone, he was a figure of adoration from her early childhood. She had grown up with Laguna as the perfect man in her mind, turning his weaknesses into wonderful personality quirks. He was her father. As sad as it may be, he doubted his sister remembered her biological parents, the people who had given her life. There was only Laguna and Raine and they were her perfect family. She hadn't sent Squall back in time to save her mother and father from the Estharian soldiers as they protected her with their lives. She'd done it to save the family she'd caught a glimpse of, but could never have. He doubted that he and Laguna would ever become that close.

Laguna suddenly cut him through his thoughts with something more light-hearted, looking at Rinoa's camera.

"Does that thing have a timer?"

She looked down at the machine. "I think so. Why?"

"Great, we need to get a family photo."

"A family photo?" Squall echoed, he'd never thought about it before now.

"Yeah, you know…a photo of the family."

"I know what a family photo is," he dully replied, though the closest he had ever come to one were the yearly Garden class photos.

"I think that's a splendid idea." They turned, a little surprised that it was Caraway who had spoken up. His father-in-law looked unabashed by the reaction. "I think it's time that I had a new family photo on my desk, the last one is a little old."

Laguna beamed like a mad fool. "Well, if Caraway agrees, then that's settled." He passed Gale back to Squall and plucked the camera from his daughter-in-law's hands. "I'll sort this out, you lot get settled."

So Laguna fiddled with the camera while they looked round the room. Ellone posed the question on everyone's mind.

"Where do you want us?"

Their father looked up long enough to point to the one seat sofa.

"Rinoa can sit there with Gale and we can gather round."

Squall gave his son back to his wife as she slipped into the large, cosy seat. Squall slid onto the right-hand arm, leaning against the chair back. Ellone settled down on the other side, arranging her skirt. Caraway stood behind them, between his daughter and son-in-law while Laguna placed the camera on the table.

Squall looked down at Rinoa, admiring the view of his own small family. It was a perfect moment in time, a handsome sight. His life had a whole new meaning now, one which he would embrace. He leaned forward, his lips brushing his lover's ear and quietly breathed, "I love you both."

He pulled a little back to see her face turned to him, a playful smile dancing across her lips.

"I would hope so," she said before the smile became less playful, "Happy then?"

Squall found his own smile breaking free. "More than I thought I could be."

"Aha! Got it!" Laguna cried victoriously.

"No regrets?" she asked as his father rushed across the room.

"No, but it's a bit more crowded."

"You better get used to it, because…"

There was a flash as the photo was taken.

"…This is our new family portrait."

**End of Overture**

Wow, all I have left is the epilogue and as that's a little separate, this really felt like the end.

Anyway, this was supposed to be up quicker, but the Sherlock (BBC) fandom has viciously and mercilessly dragged me under the last 5 weeks (serious, in that time I've written 25,000 words for the fandom). If you haven't seen the BBC's Sherlock, then go watch it now. No, seriously, go watch it now. You won't regret it.


	31. Eyes On Me

**A/N:** Hey, guys, here's the final chapter for you all. Most of my notes are at the end, but this is a little different from the rest and shameless advertising. I've took over the challenge community: w w w . fictunes-lj . livejournal . com. It's not just for fanfiction, but anything creative you want to do with it, for any fandom. It'd be great to have some people take a look and take part or pass on the word. Feel free go back to past playlists and I can post up for people who want to join in but don't have an LJ account.

**Eyes On Me**

Michelle Smith stood in the spacious entrance of the large mansion, waiting for the PA to return and show her through to the room for her interview. She bit her lip, unable to keep the wide smile from spreading across her face, but at least she wasn't grinning like a fool.

_Any minute now. _

Nerves and excitement bubbled in her gut as she pushed back a stray lock of blonde hair that had fallen from her loose bun. On the other side of that door was her hero, her inspiration, her role model and she had actually been granted permission - out of the millions of journalists, writers and fans - to interview him. What would he be like in person? Colder? Warmer? Would he be charming or awkward? She'd met plenty of men and women like him who were nothing like she would have expected, for better or worse.

The door she'd been watching opened and she quickly straightened up, trying to smarten herself up as much as she could. The serious, though not stern, looking man from before appeared in the doorway.

"Miss Smith," he greeted.

Her heart leapt and she tried to keep her voice controlled. "Yes?"

"Mr Leonhart is ready to see you now."

She mustn't shake, she reminded herself. Shaking would not help her walk, and it would not be a dignified way to start the interview off. Taking a deep breath, she prepared herself and strode past the man into the living room beyond.

The room was more…homely than she'd thought it would be, though not entirely sure what she had expected to begin with. A large ballroom lined with white marble, plush leather sofas and chandeliers hanging from the ceiling? Or an expensive designer room that had an empty feel of a showcase rather than a living space? Instead, the space she walked into could have been anyone's front room.

It was a good size — not too large, fitting everything comfortably. To the right-hand side stood a grand piano, one which dominated the room without crowding it. On the opposite wall was an open fireplace, empty and unneeded in the mid-summer heat. The mantelpiece was covered with photos, a theme that she found repeated all over the room, on any and every surface she could see, something that she could not help but find curious and odd. She recognised a few of the faces and could guess at others, but many also escaped her knowledge.

Opposite her were pair of large glass patio doors, letting sunlight from outside stream in and bathe the place with a warm glow. Not that it needed it; the entire place could not feel more like a lived-in home of a family. It was tastefully decorated in blues, greens and creams, but comfort and personality were never sacrificed in the name of style.

However, what caught her attention above everything else was in the centre of the room. Two large, cosy-looking, ivory sofas faced each other with a long coffee table sitting between them. From the couch facing her stood two people, a man and a woman. Her heart beat wildly and, for one humiliating moment, she thought that her legs would give way.

_Michelle Joanna Smith,_ she mentally lectured herself, _you're not some sixteen years-old fangirl meeting some teen heart-throb. Get. A. Grip._

Refocusing, she rushed forward and took the hand of the man in both of hers. Her heart gave a small thrill at actually _touching_ him, shaking his hand.

"Gale Leonhart, thank you so much for seeing me. I can't tell you how much of an honour this is to be speaking to a musical icon such as yourself."

The elderly man chuckled, firmly returning her handshake though to mentally describe him as elderly hardly seemed appropriate. Despite being in his seventies, there was little to call elderly about him. The man seemed so full of life. Though his hair had lost its dark colour, there was nothing feeble about his body. True, he was on the short side, having only reached her height, but it still seemed to carry strength and energy within it. It held the broadness that came with age, but his face was the biggest give away. He didn't so much have wrinkles as much as lines etched in by worry, joy, sadness and happiness that betrayed the full life that he'd had. She wasn't surprised that he wore a pair of sunglasses, hiding his eyes from view, but she couldn't deny the curiosity she felt to see his sightless orbs.

"Not at all, your letter was very persuasive. It's a pleasure to finally meet you." His voice was deep and smooth, a rich baritone that she would be content to simply sit and listen to for hours.

The man let go of her hand and indicated to the young woman by his side. "This is my granddaughter, Iris."

Michelle turned to the young lady, no older than herself, looking like she was in her early twenties. She was a beautiful woman, but it suddenly dawned on her that she wasn't entirely sure why. There was nothing remarkable about her and yet her features — her dark brown hair, greyish-blue eyes, the slight roundness of her face and slimness of her frame — seemed to come together in just the right way.

"Please, take a seat," Gale indicated the sofa across from him. His hand sought out the armrest of his own chair, relying on that to find his seat again. The two women followed suit, Michelle smoothing down the back of her navy pencil skirt as she did so.

"You don't mind me recording our conversation, do you?" she asked.

"Of course not, my dear," he warmly smiled at her.

"Thank you."

She reached into her handbag and withdrew the small machine, flicking it on. As she placed it on the table between them, a picture beside her hand caught her attention. She paused, looking at it. She recognised the couple — how could she not when everyone in Gaia did — but she'd never seen _him_ like this before. Out of all the photographs she'd seen, there was never one with him, well, smiling. It wasn't a wide grin, but a genuine open-month smile and it seemed to make him all the more attractive. It was a wedding photo — the man was standing behind his wife, who was drawn into his embrace. One of her hands was rested on the arm round her waist while the other was clasped in his hand. Her head was rested against his shoulder as they gazed at each other, clearly unaware of the photographer.

"My parents," Gale supplied.

She looked up, startled. "How…?"

He chuckled. "I may not be able to see, but I'm not blind."

"Most people have a similar reaction to you when they see it," Iris explained, "It often catches guests' attention."

The blonde nodded. "It's a unique photo, there's not many of your father…" she trailed off, realising how rude she would sound by completing that sentence.

"Smiling?" he hazarded. She looked up to see if he'd taken offence, but nothing in his warm exterior gave it away.

She nodded and then mentally slapped herself when she remembered he couldn't see her. "Yes."

"He was a very serious man, very private. He liked to keep his personal life personal and hide it away from the rest of the world, presenting the public with a manufactured persona instead. The wedding photo's a favourite of mine, along with two family portraits." He lifted his hand to indicate to a large picture hanging over the fireplace, "My present family," and then he made a sweeping gesture to the mirror image opposite the first, "and my past family."

Michelle looked between the two, rather confused, before turning back to the happy man, uncertain as to whether she should say anything. "Erm…I'm sorry but, I think you've got that mixed up."

His smile faltered. "Really?" He scratched the side of his neck. "I suppose I was confused about where I'm sitting."

"Grandfather," Iris scolded, "You know very well where you're sitting and that you got the pictures mixed up." The pretty brunette turned back to their guest. "You will have to excuse his…quirky sense of humour."

"Oh no…I didn't realise."

Gale chuckled again; she was growing to love that rich deep rumble. "So many are uncomfortable by my blindness that I cannot resist the urge to tease them." She could just imagine the mischievous sparkle that should be present behind those shades. The musician leaned forward. "But don't be uneasy. I am not, so there is no reason you should be."

He leaned back again and she couldn't help smiling as he continued. "People don't understand why I surround myself with photos of my friends and family when I can't see. I tell them that I like the idea that they are watching over me. _'But you can't see them, so what good does it do?'_ they say. To which I reply, _'Oh, but I can,'_" he explained before tapping a finger against his temple, "In here."

Michelle listened to the rich, velvety voice speak; it was almost hypnotic to hear.

"For example, take the past family portrait," he indicated back at the picture, the correct one this time, "It was taken at the end of August for my father's thirtieth birthday and we're in the garden at Granddad's country mansion. We're underneath a great oak tree and the entire family is there, even my mother's father. My mother is sitting on a high, protruding root and since that tree had a lot of them, I wasn't allowed near it on my own.

"On my mother's lap is my youngest sister Marina; she must have been two years-old at this point. Her hair, very dark brown, almost black, is tied away from her face in a ponytail on top of her head, but most of the strands are loose because they weren't long enough. Mari's wearing a white summer dress, having just changed it for the photo; it would have been covered in dirt otherwise. Mother is also wearing a summer dress, but one with thin straps and it's dark blue. Around her neck is a chain with two rings on it. She always wore them and by the time I was five, I knew every line and detail. Her hair's a bit longer than it normally was, down to her mid back, though she does look a little younger than a woman who turned twenty-nine a few months previously. She looks very good, as does my father.

"He's standing to her left, a foot or two away from my mother, in front of the trunk in a dark red shirt – a birthday present from my sisters and I. Speaking of which, he's holding my other sister, Cascata, who is approaching five here. See how tightly she's hanging onto my father? She adored him more than anything else in the world. Even followed in his footsteps too," the last few words were laced with a sad undertone but as Michelle turned to her host, the inflection disappeared and so had her thoughts on the matter as he happily continued his description of the portrait once more.

"She has brown hair, just like Dad, but with our Mum's dark eyes. Her hair is long — she didn't cut it short until she entered Garden's Secondary Education and Training program. Oh, and the dress she's wearing over her trousers, she loved that dress. It has buttons all the way down the front and cats along the bottom. When she grew too big to button it up, she wore it as a jacket until that didn't work either and she was forced to pass it onto Mari.

"On the other side of my father is my aunt, Ellone, sitting on the root right by the trunk with a hand on Dad's shoulder to keep herself steady. She's wearing a white, sleeveless shirt and dark blue jeans. In front of her is her son, Elan — he and Cascata were very close. He's only a year older than her and they would always play together during visits. He lived with my family for a few years. He was tempted to join SeeD for a while, and so he stayed with my parents while he went to Balamb Garden, but decided that he wasn't cut out for that kind of life before he took the exam. His father is beside him and Ellone with short blond hair, smart but casual clothing. He was a doctor, worked for Garden for a short while in the special recovery unit, but he was only there for four years."

"Now, behind Elle, between her, my mother and father is a boy — that's me."

Michelle grinned at the smiling boy in the centre of the photo. "You look like your mother."

Gale chortled. "It seems to run in the family. My daughter looks more like my wife and both my parents are supposed to look more like their mothers than their fathers, who are standing on either side of me in this photo. Laguna is on my right, holding one of my hands and placing his other hand on top of Elle's head. He may have retired at this point…no," he corrected himself after a moment's pause, "He's about to retire, but he does so after his thirtieth year as president, which is the following year, but this day was the beginning of a good eighteen months. You see his hair? He never had that any shorter or got rid of the earring and the dog tags. You notice how causally he's dressed? He'd wear that to work. He was completely different compared to my other grandfather who's on my left, behind my mother. He's dressed down for the day — just a white shirt and dress trousers — but then, he did normally wear his military uniform. He has one hand on Mum's shoulder and the other resting on my back to make sure that I don't fall backwards."

"You all look so happy," Michelle said, her eyes lingering over the picture.

"We were."

There was a rap on the door and Gale called for the knocker to enter. The man from earlier strode in, a tray in his hands which he sat down on the low table between them. The one side had a cafetiere and a teapot, both full and undoubtedly hot. Beside them were three cups and saucers staked up with a jug of milk and a pot of sugar, while on the other side there was an arrangement of cake and biscuits.

"Thank you, I'll call if we need anything else," Gale said to the man before, turning back in Michelle's direction, "Please, help yourself to anything that takes your fancy."

Iris shifted forward and set a cup and saucer before everyone. "Would you prefer tea or coffee Miss Smith?"

"Coffee please, and Michelle is fine. Milk and two sugars, please."

She poured the coffee and then made one for herself. "Grandfather? Tea as usual?"

"Yes, but only one sugar this time."

She watched the granddaughter pouring the drink and she started to turn her eyes back to the photo above the fireplace when her eyes caught something behind the cushion the younger Leonhart leaned against. Her eyes shot back to the woman, who was currently guiding her grandfather's hand to the cup, and then back again to check that she was that she wasn't seeing things. She tore her gaze away so that she wasn't caught staring and took a sip from her drink, hoping to hide her expression behind the cup. She guessed she must be dealing with Leonharts after all.

"Are you a musician, like your grandfather?"

"Oh no, I'm a writer, much like yourself though a very different genre." She elegantly picked up her drink, sipping it. "I do play a little flute though."

Gale smiled proudly, carefully setting his cup down and reached over to pet her on the knee. "She's just had her first novel published — a delightful children's story which was a best seller in Galbadia." Michelle quickly raised her cup to take another sip, hiding her smile. She didn't know many children's story writers who sat with a gun neatly tucked under a nearby pillow. "Despite all that, she's living here with me. She's rather attached to me it would seem."

Iris smiled at her grandfather. "He keeps me sane; with no partner and my brother in SeeD, I think the best thing for both of us is to keep each other company."

"Your brother is a SeeD?"

"Yes, along with one of my cousins, though my brother is in the Medical Division."

Michelle turned to the older man. "Was your father disappointed that you couldn't join SeeD, Mr Leonhart?"

"I think he was more glad than anything."

"Really?"

"A SeeD's life is hard — a simple mistake can result in anything from a scratch to death. It also weighs heavily on the soul. I've never had to take a life, and for that, I am glad and I think that my father was too. He certainly wasn't disappointed — he was proud of what I'd achieved in my life. Most people assume he must have been though, as they tend to assume a lot of things about the kind of man and father he was without any basis. Ignorant and foolish judgements, but that is how people judge those in the public eye, assuming that their public face is how they act in private, for good or for bad.

"No, few people know of my father's true opinions and feelings, even I can't be sure at times. As I said, he was a very private man. I do know he didn't raise me as a man ashamed of his disabled son. He loved and cared for me, learned to read brail alongside me so that he could teach me how to read. I have several very fond memories of sitting on his lap as a very small boy, my eyesight all but useless, as we read a book together. I still remember how big and strong his hands were as they covered mine, guiding my fingers along the markings.

"He was very patient with me and it was a favourite activity of mine when I was very young. I would play music with my mother and read with my father — there seemed to be a very clear divide in that regard. I even preferred having bedtime stories with him as I loved listening to his voice as he read the stories while I lay in bed and I'm very sure he enjoyed reading to me. He always used to ask me if I wanted a bedtime story no matter how busy he seemed to be. To me, that was a sure sign that he wanted to do it. Though Granddad would always be everyone's favourite since he had a talent for imitating all the voices and intuitively knowing how to read them in the perfect way. I'm sure that even my father would listen to him read from the doorway.

"After he helped me master brail, my parents and tutor were confident that I could keep up with lessons. So with a few special allowances and aids, I joined classes with other children my age."

"At Balamb Garden?"

"Yes. No matter what else they do or your thoughts on the morality of that organisation, they do have some of the best education in the world."

"Was it difficult being with other children?" Michelle asked, reaching for another biscuit.

"Was I bullied, you mean? I was the son of the famous Squall Leonhart, SeeD commander, and Rinoa Leonhart who, though it wasn't publically known until five years ago, was a sorceress. Would you dare?"

The blonde smiled. "I guess not."

"Oh, there were whispers round the classroom, but no one addressed them to me directly. A few children were even drawn to me. I suppose I was lucky that one of my parents happened to be very intimidating. However, it soon became very clear that I had little interest in the world of Garden. I had grown to love music, encouraged by my mother from an early age. Even if I did have my eyesight, I doubt I would have chosen a life of fighting. I was very different in that respect to my sisters, especially Cascata. She was born to be a SeeD and I sometimes think that she got my share. Her love for my father helped fuel her ambition as his opinion was worth more to her than anything else." The old musician turned his head in the direction of his granddaughter. "Iris, could you get the photo of Cascata from the mantelpiece? It's the third from the right, between Marina and your baby cousin."

The young woman stood and made her way over to the photos, plucking one off, even pausing for a second as she took another one as well. She handed the first to Michelle before sitting down again.

"That's Cascata just after she made commander," she explained.

The woman in the photo had a powerful aura about her. She had her father's serious expression, but there was a small turn of her lips and a sparkle in her dark eyes. She was a pretty woman who, as opposed to her brother, took after her father in appearance. Her uniform was pristine and her short brown hair fell to just brush her shoulders. In one hand, she carried…

"Is that _the_ Lion Heart?"

"Yes," Gale replied, "my father gave it to her when she became commander. He taught her how to wield a gunblade and she was an excellent magic user as well, she got that- and her temperament - from our mother. In many ways, she was perfect for SeeD, but she worked very hard for it as well. She used to train with my father in the back garden. I used to be able to hear them from my bedroom. She was talented, brilliant even, and she knew it. She hated it whenever a boy who was just as good as her appeared on the scene because of that. She would get so angry each time he got the best her and my father would shrug it off and tell her it would help her grow. However, I remember discussing the matter with Dad. He was rather glad for the turn of events because suddenly Cas was forced to admit that she could be beaten. _'An arrogant SeeD is a dead SeeD,'_ I remember him saying, _'and Cascata needs someone to bring her back down to earth and make her realise that this isn't a game before it's too late. I'd hate to lose her over something as foolish as pride_._'_"

Michelle looked down at the famous figure in her hands. "She died in The Battle of The Giza Plains, didn't she?"

Gale's voice was heavy when he spoke, "Yes, she did."

"I'm sorry," she said, wanted to kick herself for her insensitive comment, "I didn't mean to bring up such a painful memory."

"No," he discarded her apology, "There is no need to be. It is silly it pretend that it never happened and a dishonour to her memory if I were to do just that. I was told that she was magnificent out there; her fight saved the battle though it took her life. She left behind a very young son."

"My father," Iris elaborated.

Michelle looked between the two of them. "So, you're actually a great-niece, not granddaughter?"

"Yes, she's not my granddaughter, but I don't consider her any less than those who are. When my sister died, I took in her son, Storm, and raised him."

"Storm?" Michelle lifted an eyebrow.

"Yes, I'm still not sure if it was done in honour of my father or just to annoy him. Her pregnancy was the only time that their relationship was strained. I think she may have been angry that my father wouldn't just tell her if he wanted her to keep the baby or not. I wasn't there when Mum discovered my sister was pregnant, I was long-since married by then, but Cas spoke to me afterwards about it. Though I suppose 'spoke' is a little generous, ranted would be more accurate. She didn't understand why Dad wouldn't just say what he would prefer her to do and it was difficult in beginning to make her understand that this was her choice to make, not his — he couldn't, and wouldn't, tell her what to do. Our parents stood by her and helped her all the way through, telling her what she would need to buy and do to prepare, despite how tense those few months were. After the birth, things settled down again. I even think my parents enjoyed having a grandson around. They both took care of Storm when Cas was away on missions or working, though they both wanted her to leave SeeD. Every now and then, my father would push the subject a little. Of course, she would just bite back that he could hardly lecture her on the matter when he was still in SeeD and doing missions after she was born. It didn't matter to her that, unlike our father, she was a single parent."

"Do you mind me asking who the father was?"

Gale sighed. "I wish I knew. To this day, nobody does — she refused to tell anyone, not even our father which frustrated him to no end."

The thrill of a mystery ran through Michelle as she tried to think of possible candidates for the other biological parent. "Maybe he was the son of an old, or present, enemy?"

"Maybe," but the musician didn't sound too convinced, "but if it was then I'm surprised she would have been so secretive about it. She may have adored Dad, but she was strong-willed and knew he would forgive her. We all knew that he loved and respected us all too much to let something so petty ruin our relationships with him. She acted more like she was ashamed of it, afraid that she would never be forgiven."

"So you honestly have no idea?"

"Oh, we all had ideas, some more likely than others, but it's very difficult to know who it really was. You see, she gave birth nearly a year after she was freed from her capture in Centra Ruins and eight months after she was released from the recovery ward. You see the dilemma? Too late to be a result of anything done to her while she was in captivity, and I'm sure unspeakable things were done to her, but too soon to be after she returned to society. One would think that would narrow the list down, but it did not, she had many guests while she was in the special recovery ward and Storm was not premature." He sighed. "My sister was a very talented, exceptional woman, but she did not have the happiest life. It was short, but not sweet. To die at twenty-five…"

"It's a good running for a SeeD," Michelle tried to lighten the man's mood a little, which seemed so heavy at that moment.

"But a poor running for a life," he countered, "It is a sad thing when twenty-five is considered a long existence. That is the way with SeeD though. The majority of deaths occur within the first year of a SeeD's career. After that, the rate dramatically drops. About forty percent of SeeDs make it beyond twenty-one and those tend to be the best. Some carry on going, others quit, a very good number become teachers instead and some continue to live very full lives."

"I had no idea. I didn't think they would be allowed to continue after a certain age."

"If all SeeDs were young, spry teenagers, they'd be rather easy to pick out, don't you think?"

"I suppose," Michelle admitted.

The man continued, "Besides, some jobs are better suited to a more mature individual and it would be foolish to throw someone away with years of experience in evading death. As sad as it is, I think that only death could have pried Cascata away from SeeD. Not even having a son could convince her to move on; it can be a very addictive lifestyle."

Iris broke in, handing Michelle the second photo that she had taken from the mantelpiece. "This is my father and grandmother, six months before her death."

Cascata stood in what appeared to be a garden, a boy of perhaps three on her hip. From all that had been said, she wasn't sure what she would see in the picture, a cold woman maybe. It wasn't the case. The young woman didn't radiate warmth and love, but it was there in subtle shades. She held her boy close, her head resting softly against his. Michelle wasn't sure if it was just the moment the camera had caught or the reality of the time but, the sparkle seemed to have left the woman since the last photo and something hard and worn was left in its place.

"She looks like she really loved your father," the blonde commented.

"I like to think she did," Iris replied, taking the photo back.

"She did, she loved her son very much," Gale confirmed, but something hung in the air after his words. As though he had cut himself off, stopping himself before he said too much. The words 'but not as much as she loved SeeD,' seemed to ring round Michelle's head.

Michelle took a sip of her coffee to dispel her thoughts; it really wasn't her place to put her words into his mouth and make judgements on a woman she had never met before.

"But your other sister is living a long life, right?" she asked, trying to stir the conversation back to happier topics.

"Ah yes, Marina is as fit as ever. She even managed to fend off a couple of muggers with her handbag last week. Retired now of course, but she was the first headmistress of Esthar Garden for…twenty years?" Iris confirmed the detail before he continued. "She normally spends her summers here, but her eldest has just had a baby boy."

"I read about that in the papers last week — the first baby born on the lunar surface base."

"Mari's children always seemed to have been drawn to space; her youngest has just set off on the Space Exploration Program, the trial run so to speak. I think it owes a great deal to the fact that Mari's second husband was heavily involved in the E.S.P. and so some influence on them was to be expected. He was a great man, Arthur Holmes, we were very happy to see her remarry."

"It must have been a huge blow to lose her first husband only a couple of years after losing Cascata, especially as a suicide."

"Mmm, yes, very tragic," though his tone implied otherwise, "I suspect his past actions finally built up and took revenge."

"His SeeD work?"

"It does happen. It happened to Elessia Kinneas. One does things as a SeeD that drags down the soul." He took a sip of tea and continued. "However, I was thinking that more personal influences that had built up led to his eventual...suicide." She wasn't entirely sure what to make of his statement but once more, the dark undercurrents that lingered in the words and tone were transient, swiftly replaced with the older man's usual cheery tone. "She moved on after his death and joined Garden again, but as an instructor instead; I don't think she could have returned to missions. Eventually, she reached her most famous post as first headmistress."

"I wasn't aware she'd left SeeD."

"Marina was part of the Med. Division, which was her speciality. She often accompanied Cascata on missions as the healer in the group. She was our sister's support during The Battle of Giza Plains and tried to prevent the inevitable. After your sister dies under your hands…well, one can hardly blame you for leaving."

"Why did she return?"

"There was nowhere else to go or to do with her life, and a desire to help other youths from dying before their time. It has a habit of dragging you back or holding you in, perhaps because of the community Garden creates, the addiction to danger or simply because it's hard to move on and do something else with your life after you've trained so long for that one thing. Though we would have preferred to see her go into another occupation, we were just happy to have her back in our lives. She'd done a bit of a disappearing act on us for two years and was almost impossible to contact during that time. We were all so caught up in Cas's death and what to do with Storm that we hadn't noticed her slipping away at first. When we did notice, Father eventually ended up having to take up the trail after the rest of us initially tried contacting her and failed. Took him two months to track them down again and he did little else during that time. When he did find them, her first husband just said that she wanted to be alone for the time being.

"She was withdrawn, quiet, barely left her home and spent as little time as she could with others. On top of the bereavement of one child, my parents also had to worry about their other daughter. Dad tried several times to persuade her to come and stay with him and Mum, even if it was just for a few days, but each time she refused, saying that she needed to stay with her husband. I think he was one step away from taking more forceful measures after I'd heard him talking about possible ways around the situation several times, mostly with Grandfather or Mum. It was clearly a constant worry on his mind since he seemed to spend more time with his own thoughts than ever then. _'Daughters,'_ he used to say, _'Why did I have to have daughters?'_

"Of course when her husband eventually died, that ended the problem. Though she was hardly in the best frame of mind during that time; grieving and lost, she had no idea what to do. My father took care of all the arrangements for her and she eventually got back on her feet again, returning to Garden."

A heavy silence filled the room while Iris filled their guest's cup with more coffee.

"I'm sorry," Michelle began, "We've gone quite off-topic and brought up bad memories for you."

She was surprised to hear that wonderful laugh of his once more. How could a man who had lost so much continue to laugh like he had?

"Actually, I would say that we are rather on-topic. Sometimes it is important to go as wide as it is to go deep and when you get to my age, doing either of those things is bound to bring up unpleasant memories. I can hardly object to disturbing the past when that is what I agreed to discuss with you."

"Thank you," she said, once again trying to steer the conversation back onto happier matters. "It must be strange to have such a different career track compared to the rest of your family."

"A little," he admitted, "my education was completely different to that of my sisters and my father and my lifestyle was worlds away. Though things do filter through between our lives, it's hard to completely separate them."

"When did you leave?"

"It happened when I was approaching twelve. I knew I wanted to be a musician and obviously that wasn't going to happen in Garden so we had to look for schools that would help me reach that goal. This led to the obvious — Galbadian Empire School of Music, G.E.S.o.M, but it was half way across the world from my parents and they weren't happy with me being so far away. I was very determined though, knowing it was the best and that it was what I wanted. We'd danced around the subject for months and they had even briefly considered moving to Deling City, but for several reasons, that was unrealistic at the time. Then during a visit to my grandfather's, he came up with the perfect solution."

"You moved to live with General Caraway."

"Exactly," he gave a sharp jab of his finger to emphasize his point, "Grandfather Galbadia-"

"Grandfather Galbadia?"

He grinned across at her, "That was our names for them — Granddad Esthar and Grandfather Galbadia."

A small giggle escaped her. "How appropriate."

"We thought so. Sometimes we would not even bother with 'Grandfather' or 'Granddad,' even after they'd both retired. Grandfather was always used for Galbadia and I'd become very close to him. As much as I loved Granddad and as wonderful as he was, those years I spent with Grandfather could have never been replaced or matched."

"Wasn't it hard being so far away from your family?"

"No more than it was for the boarders and, unlike them, I was living with my grandfather so at least I got to see my family every day, figuratively speaking. G.E.S.o.M was one of the best things that happened to me, I met long-life friends, several I'd worked with later in my career, developed my skills and met my amazing wife." The man's smile became melancholic. "As you can imagine, I was quite the stir being the blind son of Squall Leonhart. Everyone wanted to meet me and ask if I was really the famous SeeD's son, all eager to befriend and rub shoulders with me, but not her.

"She turned up one day during a practice session and asked if I was Gale Leonhart. I said I was, barely acknowledging her as I expected the usual tirade that would follow, but she just rushed forward and asked if she could listen to me play. She'd heard the teachers talking and wanted to hear me for herself. After I played, she asked me to help her. You see, my wife was never much of a pianist, but she had the voice of an angel, as I'm sure you've heard."

"Naturally. I was very sorry to hear that she passed away last year."

For the first time during the course of this meeting, the man truly looked old and marred by grief, showing how fresh the wound was.

"She is greatly missed. She was an exceptional woman, not just vocally, but also in strength and love. I'm not sure if I would have made it through these past months without Iris, having taken such good care of me." The young woman rested her hand on his, a small smile forming on her lips. "My wife was the only girl that I brought home that Grandfather Galbadia liked. He hated all of the others, brushing them off as gold-diggers or girls looking for the limelight. Once it was clear that Galbadia liked her, I knew I had to take her home to meet the rest of the family.

"She spent a week during the Spring Holidays with us in Balamb, came over several days after me if I remember correctly. It was one of the few times which I remember my father actively trying to be friendly and social with someone, though I suspect this was in part due to my mother warning him 'not to scare the girlfriend away.' All things considered, it went well, though Dad was very clearly not comfortable with having to keep a conversation going. He tried, particularly in the beginning when he picked her up from the station and drove us home, but after a day or two, he just left it all down to Mum when he could. I think it was also partly down to unease as well. After trying to keep his family life as private as he could, it was probably…off-putting to have a stranger in the house, even if it was his son's girlfriend. I think he was perhaps unsure how to act around her at first, but eventually he relaxed and got along well with her. However, he never connected as well with my wife as my mother had. I think there was just too little for them to relate over, but he liked her, which was very good. We worked so perfectly together that we created a career out of it. I performed with her in the Young Musicians' Festival the following year, which led us on-track to success."

"It was three years later, Grandfather," the young brunette pointed out.

He frowned. "Are you sure?"

"It was the same year as the Timber Conflicts."

"Ah yes, you are right as always, but it hardly matters. A director approached us, asking for permission to use one of our tracks for a film which happened to become a huge success. We were on the rise after that, though 'Tina' and 'Counting Rhyme for Another Summer' still remain my favourite compositions. They may not be the most dramatic or complex but they hold a very dear place in my heart."

"They are beautiful pieces; 'Counting Rhyme' has such a sense of melancholy. It's why it's always been a favourite of mine; it really feels as if you are reflecting on your life as you play."

"It is always a pleasure to hear that my emotions are coming across in my music, especially with instrumentals."

"How do you go about capturing those feelings?"

"I can show you if you like?" He slowly placed his cup down.

Michelle's breath caught in her throat, realising that he was offering to play for her. "I wouldn't want to trouble you…," but she didn't sound convincing in the least.

"Nonsense - my passion is never a trouble," and with a small grunt of exertion, he pushed himself off the couch.

Iris was by his side in a second, a soft hand by his elbow to guide him, not that he seemed to need it; the path was clear and he moved with the confidence of a man who knew his surroundings. Assuming she was expected to follow, she stood and grabbed her recorder to take it with her. She looked at the beautiful instrument before her, one which had played so many iconic songs over the years. It was more tantalising and awe-inspiring to her than The Lion Heart itself.

"This was your grandmother's piano, wasn't it?"

"Yes, it had once belonged to Julia, but when my mother was pregnant with me, Grandfather passed it onto her. This instrument gave birth to my love of music. As far as I can remember, I would sit and listen to my mother play, first at the foot of the piano and then by her side. I still remember the day I asked her to teach me and my destiny was sealed from that moment on. Once my fingers became familiar with the keys, I knew that there was no other life I wanted."

She placed a hand on the smooth surface, taking in the beauty, craftsmanship and the loving care it had received for over half a century. This truly was his heart and passion, the centre of his life. On the wall beside them hung many photos of friends and family, as if he was tying his two loves together. There was no music on the stand, but beside it stood two cuddly bears, one mint green in colour and the other pale yellow. The green one was well-worn, its fur patchy and threadbare in places. In contrast, the yellow one looked as good as new, though perhaps a little faded. A small hospital tag was tied around one yellow arm and she could just about make out 'Ami' in cursive handwriting. She frowned, not recognising the name as one of his relatives. Perhaps she was a still-born? No, it would have been in the papers if an international star had lost a child.

"Who's Ami?" she asked.

He looked up. "My twin."

Her eyes widened. "Twin? I had no idea you had a twin," and then she remembered the family portrait over the fireplace. "Ah," her tone slipped into understanding.

"She was only alive for fifteen minutes or so outside of the womb. Not long at all, not long enough for me to form any bond or attachment to her, but I do feel as if it is important to remember her. I was lucky — she was not. It does make me wonder sometimes what my life would have been like if she had lived. Which was how the beginnings of 'Tina' came about," and to illustrate his point, he began to play. "My birthday has always been a strange time; it was never just a happy day because it also marked her death. We would come here every year to visit her grave at my mother's strong insistence. I think that was why they originally built, or perhaps rebuilt, this house. Her death affected them greatly, especially my father. He was always very quiet on my birthday.

"When I was only a few years old, my mother decided that she wanted to have another child, but my father did not want to risk it. They danced around the subject for what felt like months until it all came out one night. I think it must have been the only time I'd ever heard my parents fight. Oh, they disagreed and argued at times, like all couples do. They held no qualms about voicing their opinions, they discussed matters calmly and respectfully, but they never really truly fought about anything, except for that time. I could hear them in my room as they shouted, Mum saying she wanted another child and Dad saying he didn't want to risk it. For a child who wasn't used to such things, it was quite the disturbing turn of events. It would seem that Cascata's life was always set to be a turbulent one."

The music under his fingers suddenly stopped and he smiled. "I'm sorry, 'Counting Rhyme' it is. This was composed just after my first grandchild was born. I sat here and started thinking about the birth of my children and then of my own life and childhood," he started to play, the nostalgic melody filling the air, "the passage of time and all that had happened to lead to that moment. An old man reflecting on his life. It has been a good life, I cannot deny that. It's been punctured by loss, grief and drama, but no life can escape these things. No, I've had my fair share of sadness, but as a whole, it has been full, rich and with more love than I could have asked for, despite what some people may have you believe."

Catching the meaning behind the off-hand comment, she asked, "It must have been frustrating to hear people talking about your father?"

"Generally, I was very proud of my parents. When people spoke of them, they did so with awe and respect — it's difficult not to regard people as such when they have 'Saviours of Time and Space' on their CV. People saw him as a hero, but that didn't necessarily mean that they saw him as a loving father. I went through stages. When I was very young, it upset me greatly, but as I grew up, I also grew used to it. The opinions were not something that bothered me so much. However, as my career was thriving, I found it irritating once again, especially when I played in music halls, performed with orchestras and briefly branched into musicals.

"Whenever I did one of these, my parents would always be there on opening night and I would meet them afterwards. Occasionally, they would come backstage and sometimes they we would meet me in the bar, but the former was more common. In the bar, we could hear the whispers of other people and it would make my father uncomfortable which made me angry. Even after so many years, people were still so ignorant, but as long as the gossiping and thoughts remained just that, it was more of an annoyance than a problem."

"Did it ever go further?"

"Oh yes. Cascata and I were kidnapped once." He stopped playing, but his hands still rested on the keys. "SeeD kept it all very hush-hush, of course. It would hardly look good if it was known that their commander's children were kidnapped right under their noses. I must have been six or seven at the time and Cascata was around two. It was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life. An anti-SeeD group who decided SeeDs did not make fitting parents took action and aimed high. We were taken across the world. My sister clung to me and cried to be taken back home and I had no idea what was happening, just that we had been abducted. They tried to be kind, but it was not something we were interested in when all we wanted was to go back home. We did discover that Cascata and I make quite the team when the need arises." He flashed a mischievous grin. "We mounted a dramatic escape attempt, getting quite far but ultimately failing.

"We were rescued by my father in the end with several of his friends. I could hear them long before they came bursting into our room. I remember him shouting at our captors, sounding furious which made me a little scared that he would be angry at me as well. Silly thought to have, isn't it? Naturally, he wasn't. He just held onto us so tightly and wouldn't let go. I don't even remember what he said or how he sounded, I only remembered feeling safe again."

Michelle tried to put it in context of everything else she knew about the star's family and background. "Was that why your father left Garden originally?"

"You're very close, but not quite. Sometime after that incident — maybe a few weeks or months later, I can't quite remember — I was awoken in the middle of the night by my father returning home from a mission. I could hear my sister calling, so I made my way out of bed and followed the sound of their voices. I could not see what was going on, all I knew was something had happened that was scaring my sister. Then my mother appeared in the room and everything went into chaos.

"She'd seen a lot in her life, but waking up to find her daughter crouching beside her husband who was bleeding to death is something you cannot easily prepare for. Needless to say, she was rather frantic. I don't remember much about her reaction, but she must have called the medics. What I remember was my father noticing me and calling me over. He pulled me close and told me how much he loved me. I'm not sure if you can appreciate how terrifying those words were in that situation. It scared me more than anything else in the world, though I doubt I really understood why at the time. My father really believed he was going to die that night and he had a choice: to go home and say good-bye to his family or miss that chance and go to the med-centre to die alone. It must have been quite the wake-up call for them and I don't think my poor mother could take another incident like it."

"Then why did he join again?"

"Officially because Quistis Trepe was killed in action, as she was headmistress at the time. Normally she wouldn't have taken a mission in that position, but…well, I don't have an answer as to why she did take the mission. Garden was left in desperate need of a leader, someone who could fill the gap and lift morale. It just happened that he stayed for longer than intended. Unofficially, I believe he was bored, not ready for a life at home. He still trained, kept himself sharp and even did the occasional favours, but he was restless. He was not like Zell who was more than ready to leave SeeD when his eldest was born. He needed the work and he was content to return as commander, even if he wasn't taking missions any more. It wasn't a simple decision to make, but my father did not find escaping such a large part of his life easy." His expression shifted into a thoughtful one and he leaned back slightly. "My father remained with SeeD for another decade."

"A little less," Iris corrected.

With a tilt of his head and a small wave of his hand, he accepted the comment, but with the air that implied that this was not an important point. "A little less than ten years then, but they weren't completely smooth, there were several times he nearly left, especially after the news of his relation to Granddad Esthar got out. That was a tense time. To the outside world, it seemed as if he didn't care, but he did. His private life was on the front page every day for weeks and his suitability called into question. He hated being the centre of gossip and he detested people trying to pry into his personal life. The only thing that saved him from having to resign was that Granddad had already retired."

"I hear that Commander Leonhart and President Loire were very different."

"On many levels they were, but when you dug down, pushed away all those outer layers to get to the core, they were similar in many ways, though I have no doubt that my father took after his mother. They got along very well, though they were never as tight as Elle and Esthar, but I believe they were close. I remember them talking long into the night during visits. When he and Elle were here, they would sit by that fire until well past my bedtime. I have no idea what they would discuss, but I know that he trusted and confided in Granddad. He was very upset when his father died; they were here at the time, talking together. He became more withdrawn over the following few months and Elle was never quite the same again.

"However, from the stories I've heard, Granddad lived a very good, full life. To be honest, I'm surprised he lived as long as he did from all that I'd heard he'd gotten himself up to in his younger days. I'm very glad he did. He saw three of his great-grandchildren in this world, which makes me happy. I was especially so when he'd met my first born, Raine. She was named after his wife and he'd been deeply moved by the gesture, though it did mean that he spoiled her more than the rest."

"I've always wondered about that," Michelle ventured, "why Raine and not Julia?"

Gale smiled. "Tell me, have you ever listened to Eyes On Me?"

The blonde laughed, thinking back to her teenage years. "Of course, I listened to it for days on end during my first crush."

"And there you have your answer. Julia will always be remembered for decades to come — her songs played, covered and released in Galbadia and throughout the world, but what of Raine Loire? Perhaps in the history books as a footnote, but her name is just about forgotten to all but a few. She is just a woman who died giving birth to the hero of SeeD in a small, insignificant village in the middle of nowhere. She died without her husband and before she could see what would become of her son. That is why I named my daughter after her, because I felt that in some small way, she should live on. She was alone for a long time, but at least she won't rest alone."

Michelle leaned forward, a small spark igniting within her at the last confession. "So President Loire isn't buried at the Presidential Memorial?"

Gale's smile remained in place. "My Granddad rests where he should be resting."

She could have punched the air in triumph, her long-time suspicions confirmed. "I knew it! I knew he wasn't buried there-" she hesitated a moment, realising how inappropriate the comment probably sounded, "Sorry, I'll keep this to myself."

"Thank you. That would be appreciated. At the moment, it is believed that the grave next to his wife is empty and his name was merely written under hers as a token. I would rather avoid more drama in my life. They deserve to be together now when they couldn't be in life. Unfortunately, the Estharian government disagreed and so we had to resort to more covert means to ensure that'd rest in peace together. Like Grandfather and Grandmother Gabaldia, and my own parents and sisters."

She smiled. "And were they covertly obtained as well?"

He chuckled and shook his head, but it was Iris that answered.

"There was no need — people simply assumed the wrong thing."

"So where were they buried?"

The old musician turned his head in the vague direction of his granddaughter. "Shall we show her?"

Iris looked up at Michelle and the blonde noticed something powerful flicker through the young Leonhart's eyes as she examined the woman before her. Not for the first time the writer wondered if there was more to this woman than the children's novelist. She wondered how much she took after ancestors and in which ways.

"I think we can trust her," she said at last with a smile and a nod.

"Then let us go for a short walk."

Standing, he let his granddaughter take his arm. Their guest didn't move though, looking uncertainly between her hosts.

"I couldn't intrude on something so private."

Iris looked over her shoulder. "I see no harm in just one person visiting the family."

"I think my mother would be happy with some degree of variety, I dare say that it must be boring having the same people visiting."

She hesitated, unsure if it really was the right thing to do. "If you're certain you don't mind."

"We wouldn't have offered if we did," and the young Leonhart gave her a dazzling smile, leading her relative to the patio door.

She fell into step with them as they walked, enjoying the warmth from the descending summer sun.

"They're all buried in your grounds?" she asked as they moved further away from the house and tended gardens.

"You think it's morbid?" he asked bluntly.

"No," she blurted, feeling embarrassed, "I just don't know many people with a graveyard in their back garden."

This time, Iris laughed. "I'd think it's creepy, but they aren't on the grounds. They're out in the meadow."

"Ami was buried here first," Gale explained, "I believe my parents wanted somewhere peaceful and I am given to understand that this place held a special place in their hearts. When Cascata died, it seemed right to bury her here as well, right with her older sister and away from the battlefield. It was only natural for my parents to follow suit, as I suspect I will do as well. My wife was also buried here, though I suspect Marina will break with tradition and rest with her husband in Esthar."

The headstones came into view and she could not help but dwell on the amazing people beneath the earth before them.

"The two most-famous SeeD commanders, the last known sorceress and a famous singer… what a remarkable group of people. You must be so proud to be from such an amazing family, such large figures in culture and history."

"I am, but it isn't really how I see them because these are the masks that people have given them to raise them up to something more than human, to heroes and symbols. I do not remember Grandfather Galbadia as the army general, but rather the man who would listen to me practice in the evenings as he sat at his desk and worked. To me, Granddad Esthar was not the man who overthrew Sorceress Adel, but the man who would tell the most amazing stories. I don't think of my mother as the last known sorceress, but as the person who would guide my fingers over the piano keys as she was teaching me the notes. I don't think about how my father was the great soldier, but about how he used to crouch down to my height, even though I couldn't see it, and speak softly to me.

"When I remember Cascata, I don't think of the war hero, I remember how she tried to make breakfast in bed for my father, failing miserably of course, when she was five. I don't remember Marina as the first headmistress of Esthar Garden, but as the little girl who used to steal her favourite food from other people's plates if they were too slow to eat them," he leaned towards her and added in a low tone, "And I have reason to suspect that she still does this.

"You see, these are the memories that stay with us and when you get to my age, they are the moments that you remember above and before everything else. These little fragments hold no importance to anyone but ourselves and those we shared them with, but they stick with us and warm us from the inside. We don't remember them all the time, but they are always there because these are the moments that make someone who they are, what transforms them from a mere symbol to a person with a life, a passion and a personality. It is why our family is our family. Perhaps I see the world through rose-tinted glasses, but I am an old man and I see no harm in letting me have my peace."

They came to stand before the gravestones, polished black with gold lettering, each with the names of the deceased, but it was the centre one that caught her attention – it was one slightly larger than the rest, with a stone angel draped over the top. 'Squall and Rinoa Leonhart' was carved into the rock in cursive writing, the dates of their deaths barely days apart. A simple phrase lay in the centre: 'No longer to fear loss, but to find joy in reunion.' It was an odd statement and she struggled to place it into perspective with everything she knew about the heroes, but it felt as if she was missing a key piece of the puzzle.

They stood there in silence, reflecting on the oddities of life, how one could rise so high and then be reduced to nothing more than a story to pass onto others. Yet, there was something peaceful about the moment and she couldn't help but appreciate the honour she had been given. Not only because she was able to visit the final resting place of leading figures, but because she'd been able to hear so much from a first-hand source who had been normally so reserved in his later years.

"Do you mind me asking why you agreed to this interview?"

"Two reasons, my dear. First, I believe that you really are a true fan and it is always a pleasure to meet and speak with those who admire my work."

"I am. I've followed you ever since I started learning to play the piano; I was just never good enough to carry on my hobby as a career. It really is a great delight and honour to speak with you like this."

"This is why I think you'll treat what I tell you with the respect and care it needs."

"Your second reason?"

"After I am gone, which I fear will not be long now, I wish there would be someone to remember the more personal side of my family, especially my father's. I want people to remember more than just the name and deeds, to know what was behind the public persona. I'm not sure if he would have liked that or not, but it is important to me that people know and remember. I want people to know that Squall Leonhart was not only a great champion, but a good man and a loving father."

The air around them was still as the stranger absorbed this moment before Gale continued on, turning round.

"Well, let's return to the house — I feel the sun setting so dinner must be ready soon. Naturally, you will join us and if you need to stay the night, then that can be arranged too. We can continue our discussion as we eat; I have a lot more to tell you. I think it would be quite delightful on the patio this evening. It reminds me of when my son announced his engagement…"

Iris smiled at Michelle, letting her know that it was time to go. The brunette slipped a hand through her guest's arm and together they walked back to the house, leaving behind the graves of legends, musicians and the forgotten. Those who had lived their lives to the fullest and those who had it snatched away from them before they had the chance. All lay together, equal in death, waiting to be reunited with loved ones, never to feel the grief and joy of life again, but only the peace of death.

**The End **

Oh wow, that's it. I've actually finished this fanfic. I can't quite believe it, it's been about three years now since I've started it, thinking this would be something on the side that no one would be interested in, but the feedback and support it's received has blown me away. It's really been amazing and I never thought it would be this popular (or this long actually). So thank you so much to EVERYONE who took the time to write a review. Especially to my regular reviewers: Sorceress Rinoa Heartilly, cheerlygal, Lartovio, Ronin-ai, gleamfang, Maloire, Niqsta, OhJay, Artemis Fowl II and Takayu who bared with me for so long. Also a thank you to everyone who read, fav'ed and alerted this fic, you've made it by far my most popular fic :D I would really love to know what everyone, new people as well, thought of this fic as a whole and as a chapter.

Also hats off to Emerald-Latias, who was the wonderful and fantastic beta reader for this, helping me get the most out of this story. Especially with this chapter.

If you enjoyed this, then feel free to take a look at my other works and please let me know what you thought of this. I'm happy to hear both what you liked and didn't like.

Thank you all once again. I hope you see you around.


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